"I'm not sure what all you know, or what exactly you've heard, but I think I should start at the beginning," Terri said. "I guess that's usually the best place to start. And I know what I'm about to tell you is going to raise a lot of questions, but," she looked directly at Bosco. "I ask that you hear me out and I'll do my best to explain it."
Terri paused when the waitress came over and topped off their coffee. "Just let me know if you need anything else." She gave a brief, false smile before going back to her magazine at the counter. The five of them were the only customers in the diner.
Terri took a deep breath and then dived in. "I grew up just outside of Chicago in the village of Glenview. I was the only child of Terrance and Marie Swensen. My father owned a very successful import company that dealt mainly with antiques and rare items and my mother came from a very affluent Chicago family. Basically, I come from a very wealthy family. I had a comfortable childhood, never wanting for anything and I had parents who loved and cared for me. It was the perfect life.
"Then, my mother got sick." Unexpectedly, Terri felt her emotions swell. She hadn't spoken about her mother for over twenty years. However, despite the feelings stirring just below the surface, Terri didn't want the sympathy or pity that she sensed from her friends. She just wanted to get her story out, so that maybe they would understand. "I visited her at the hospital every day for three weeks. Every visit, she and my father both kept telling me she was going to get better and be home soon. She died three days before my sixth birthday."
Sully nodded absently. Last October, they had thrown Terri a surprise birthday party down at McGinty's. About half of the 55th was there, along with a generous sprinkling from several of the other precincts. Although Terri put on a happy face, Sully had gotten the vibe that birthdays weren't really Terri's thing. Now he understood why. He looked over at his partner.
Davis suddenly realized his jaw had been clenched and he relaxed. Terri telling them of her loss had inadvertently triggered memories of his own. Although he had been older than six when his father was killed, Davis still knew the pain and confusion a child felt with the loss of a parent. He had always sensed a connection beyond that of their police relationship. Now he understood.
"After my mother's death, I had a really hard time. I was sure everything and everyone I knew would leave me, like my mother did. And to be fair, I'm sure it wasn't easy for my father either, but to his credit, he made me feel as if I was the most important thing in his life. He would rarely leave me. I went with him to his store in the city, and watch him while he worked. If he needed to go out of town for business, he would take me with him."
Terri took a quick swallow of coffee and rubbed some tears and sleep from her eyes. She'd made it through the origins of her story, which was the most emotional part. Now, she needed to get through the next part, which was going to be the most difficult piece of her back story puzzle.
"For the next few years, we were nearly inseparable. As I got older and more inquisitive, however, my father began to grow more distant. I started to ask questions about his work and he started making excuses for why I couldn't come with him anymore. He started leaving out of town on business all the time. As a kid, I thought whatever my father was doing was important and I was raised to enjoy my comfortable life and never ask questions about his business, so I just went along with everything and pretended to be ignorant. But as I got older, I got more bold wouldn't back down from his side stepping my questions. He began to shut me out completely.
"On one of the many nights my father was working late at his shop in the city, I thought I'd surprise him and bring dinner to him. When I look back, at the time I told myself I was just going to see for myself that what he was doing was legal, but I think deep down, I knew it wasn't. Either way, I guess I got what I wanted." The last sentence can out barely more than a whisper.
Terri stared down at her cup of coffee as she spun it slowly in a circle. "I'd spent most of my childhood at my father's shop. I could have walked it blind folded. When I got there, the store was dark, but I didn't think anything of it. I just started back toward my father's office. I was almost there when I heard a gunshot. I dropped the food and ran to his office. When I opened the door, I saw my father holding a gun and standing over the body of the man he'd just murdered."
Terri sensed the shock reverberating through everyone at the table, but she continued on, knowing if she stopped to answer questions or try to explain her actions, she may not have the strength to get the rest of her story out.
"I don't remember how, but somehow, I got home. Afraid of what my father would do to me if he came home and found me there, I packed up a few things, took all the money I could find and left that night. I took the train back into the city and found a seedy cash only hotel. For over a week I was afraid to leave my room, terrified that any minute, someone would come get me and take me back to my father. I'd only leave the room when I needed food, and even then, I'd go to the closest convenience store to get what I needed and be back in my room, with the dresser pulled in front of the door, before even I knew I'd been gone."
"How old were you?" Faith asked.
"Seventeen and very naive. It took me that first week away from home to realize I couldn't hide forever. I also realized I needed to start my life over, on my own, without my father. I found a crummy little studio apartment in the city, used my mother's name, found a job as a waitress and did my best to pretend I didn't have a father. For the first time in my life, I was completely dependent on only myself."
Terri closed her eyes and brought one hand to her forehead. Without opening her eyes, she continued. "About a month later, I received an envelope with five thousand dollars cash and a newspaper clipping about a police officer and his family that had been brutally murdered in their home. There was no return address on it, but I'm sure it was from my father. A few days later, I got another envelope with another five thousand dollars and another newspaper article. This one was about how the police had found the body of the man they suspected of the killings. Every week or so, I'd get another envelope with more cash and another clipping."
She laughed bitterly. "At the time, I thought he was paying me off for not turning him in, or that he was trying to show me that what he had done wasn't wrong. I considered going to the police, but after what I'd read and found out about the man my father had killed, a part of me understood why he had done what he'd done. So, I stayed quiet, and the envelopes kept coming. Still, I didn't want anything to do with my father or his money. I also knew someday I might need to really disappear, so I opened a savings account and put the money he sent me away, just in case. I've never touched it."
"So you've got a pretty good nest egg sitting in a bank somewhere," Sully said.
Terri shrugged. "One day, about a year after I moved into the city, a man came into the café I was working at. He was charming, good-looking and a big tipper. He introduced himself as Kyle Holladay. He came back again and again. Finally, one day, he asked to take me to dinner. I accepted."
Terri's head was pounding and her energy was all but exhausted. She closed her eyes again and held her forehead in her hand.
"Terri?" Faith put a hand on Terri's arm.
Terri looked at Faith and managed a weak smile. "I'm good. I'm spent, but I need to get this all out."
Faith nodded. "Well, just don't push yourself too hard."
Terri nodded and took a sip of coffee before continuing. "We started going out on a regular basis and our relationship got pretty serious pretty fast. Within a month, I had quit my job and moved in with him. I was young and stupid, but Ky treated me like a queen."
Bosco shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
Terri noticed this, but continued. "We'd been living together for almost three years when I woke up one night and he wasn't in bed. When I went to look for him, I found him in the living room with my father, discussing business. My heart broke, and when I realized that he had been working for my father the whole time-" she shook her head. "Well, it was four years before, all over. I found my way to another seedy hotel and shut myself away again, but this time-" Terri stared down into the depths of her coffee cup. "This time it was different."
Terri shuttered at the thought of what she was about to say. She had buried things from her past so deep inside that there was a palpable pain as she brought them back to the surface. "I didn't want to start over again. I didn't have the strength to. Instead, I just stopped. I stopped eating. I stopped drinking. I stopped caring if I lived or died. I have no idea how long I stayed in bed. I drifted in and out of consciousness and had terrible nightmares. Each time I felt asleep, I prayed to God I wouldn't wake up."
Faith felt pain in her chest from watching the anguish on Terri's face. Not knowing what else to do, she put her hand on Terri's forearm and gave her a comforting squeeze.
Terri looked startled for a moment, as if she'd forgotten she wasn't alone. She looked down at Faith's hand, before covering it with her own and smiling sadly. "I could have used a friend like you back then, Faith. God knows things would have turned out different."
"Different than what?" Faith asked, gently.
"I was at my lowest and most vulnerable point when Kyle found me. I remember seeing him in my hotel room, like a dream. He held me and told me everything was going to be okay. When I woke up in the hospital a few days later, the doctors told me that I'd gone almost five days without food or water and if Ky hadn't found me when he had, I wouldn't have made it. It took me over week in the hospital to get my strength back. Ky was there every step of the way."
"I didn't want to have anything to do with him or his life style, but he was persistent, so I did the only thing I could think of to keep him away from me. I got a job with the Chicago Police Department."
"Being a cop didn't stop Holladay, did it?" Davis asked.
"If anything, it made him more determined," Terri said. "Kyle Holladay is everything you may've heard about him, and more. He is the only person I've ever met that can make the devil jealous with how evil and conniving he is, and yet be completely charming at the same time."
"I've got a quick question," Sully said. "How did you get past the background check at the CPD?"
"My father's true business was very well concealed by his antiques business. Also, I'm sure money changed hands to amend my medical records so my suicide attempt became the flu. So, the background check was completed and I got into the academy. Almost a year later, after I'd graduated the academy and started with the CPD, Kyle contacted me. He tried to convince me that the meeting he'd had with my father was about quitting the life and going straight. He told me he was making an honest living so he and I could be together and that he would never go back to his old life. I wanted so badly for this to be true, so I let myself believe his lie."
Bosco was watching the pain on Terri's face as she exposed this part of her past and he felt all the feelings of betrayal he'd felt melt away.
"Before I knew it, Kyle was slowly pulling me into his world. He kept giving me money and gifts and I knew it was because I was helping his dealers stay under the radar while, at the same time, I was giving info to the narc unit to help bust his competition."
Terri shook her head, disgusted with herself. "I guess I talked myself into it because I was getting drugs off the street, even if they weren't his. I was climbing the ranks in the CPD, and Ky's profits and control were soaring. Then one morning, I finally woke up and realized what I'd become. It had to stop, so I left Chicago and moved here. I started working for the NYPD about a year later."
Bosco noticed a shadow cross Terri's face as if there were more to this story, but said nothing.
"How did you pass the background check here?" Sully asked.
"I'd graduated in the top of my class at the academy and I had very high recommendations from my superiors at the CPD. As a personal favor, one of my captains called a friend of his at One PP and I got a job with no problem. When I started work here, I did everything as straight as possible, leaving my past back in Chicago."
"What happened to your father?" Davis asked.
"He was murdered five years ago. I went back just long enough to have a funeral and settle the few affairs my father had going. They made it looked as though someone broke into his store while he was there, and he was killed." Terri added bitterly. "One of those, 'in the wrong place at the wrong time' situations."
"I take it from your tone you don't agree," Davis said.
"Someone in my father's line of work isn't ever in the wrong place at the wrong time," Terri said.
"You didn't have anyone at the CPD look closer at your father's death?" Sully asked.
"The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to have the funeral and leave my past buried with my father." Terri shook her head. "I always assumed it was a rival dealer. I didn't even consider Kyle may've killed him to get back at me or to take over the business, until he visited me at the hospital tonight."
"He what?" Faith, Sully and Davis asked, almost in unison.
"When?" Sully asked.
"Just before you guys went back to work," Terri said.
"Why didn't you stop him?" Davis asked.
"Well, for one thing," Terri said. "I wasn't armed, but even if I was, I don't think I would've been able to stop him by myself."
"You were alone?" Sully asked.
"Yeah," Terri said. "He was only there about five minutes. Just long enough to let me know that he's here, in New York, and that he didn't really care for the fact that I left him."
Terri winced as a sudden pounding coursed through her head. Her hand shot up to her forehead. "Damn it," she muttered.
"Maybe you should go home and get some rest," Faith said, looking over at Bosco. "We can talk more about this tomorrow."
"I'm fine, really," Terri said. "My head just doesn't want to cooperate with me right now."
"Are you sure?" Sully asked. "We could do this later, after you've had a few hours of sleep."
"I have three days."
Bosco looked at her. "Terri-"
"Three days for what?" Faith asked.
"Kyle gave me three choices and told me I needed to choose by Friday," Terri said. "He left me a wallet containing a key card to a suite at the Peninsula and a key to a safety deposit box. I either choose to meet him at the hotel, or I go see what's in the deposit box."
"You said three choices," Davis said.
"Yeah," Terri answered. "If I don't choose to sleep with him or do whatever dirty deed he has in the box, he'll kill me."
Everyone at the table fell silent.
Terri looked down at the table. "Now, there are some options here," she said. "If it means getting Kyle off my back, I'm willing to meet him at the hotel."
"What? No way!" Bosco exclaimed. "Terri, you're not serious."
"No, that's a good idea," Davis said.
Bosco turned toward Davis with a look of complete confusion on his face. "Are you crazy? How could you possibly think it's a good idea to sleep with this guy?"
"I never said anything about sleeping with him," Terri said. "I just said I'd be willing to meet him."
"And you think that would satisfy a man like Holladay?" Bosco asked. "That smug bastard looked me right in the face and smiled at me. This guy doesn't want to 'meet'."
Terri slowly shook her head. "No, but I'm hoping I can get what I want out of him, before he gets what he wants out of me."
Faith understood. "And you think he'll talk to you without suspecting anything?"
Terri shrugged. "It's worth a shot."
Bosco was beside himself. He shook his head. "Are you crazy? You just said this guy's willing to kill you and you want to put yourself in a vulnerable position like that? No way."
"This is not your decision to make, Bosco" Terri said coolly.
"The hell it's not," Bosco said.
Terri's jaw clenched and she closed her eyes again. She was obviously in pain.
Bosco watched her, feeling the pain on her face. "How do you know he's not planning something before Friday? Shouldn't we concentrate on finding him before then?" he asked. "Why should we play along with his game?"
Terri shook her head. "He's not going to be hiding. If we need to find him, we'll be able to. As for playing along, I don't see any other option. I'm sure that he's planned on me trying to get around doing what he wants, so I think the last thing he'll expect me doing is exactly what he wants."
Faith could tell that Terri was pushing herself too hard. "Look, we've all got a lot to think about. Maybe we should all go home and get some sleep and we can talk more later."
Terri looked like she wanted to object, but then thought better of it and nodded. This had been a lot for them to process and they probably wanted to discuss a few things together, without her there. "Sure. I could definitely use some sleep."
"Come on. I'll take you home," Bosco said as he stood.
Terri got to her feet. "I hope you can understand why I haven't told you any of this before. I'm not exactly proud of who I was." She pulled a few bills out of her pocket and dropped them on the table. "I'll talk to you guys later."
They all said goodnight and Bosco turned and followed Terri out of the diner. Through the window, they all watched Bosco help Terri into his car and then get in himself.
As Faith watched Bosco's car pull away from the curb, she pushed a hand over her head, pulling any stray hairs out of her face. There had been a lot said in those last twenty minutes that had made her question how well she thought she knew Terri, or even if this was something she wanted to deal with.
Faith thought of Terri, not as a friend, but as a sister and to imagine Terri sharing her bed with the man she had just told them about was almost too much for Faith to deal with.
"Faith?"
She looked up at Sully. "Yeah?"
"Didn't you hear me?"
"No, sorry," Faith said.
"I was just wondering what you thought about all that," Sully said.
"I'm just trying to process it all right now, you know."
"Yeah, I know," Sully said. He sighed loudly. "It was before I met Terri that I first heard the stories that were going around about her, and I wasn't sure what to think, but now that I know her, I would've called anyone who told me that story a liar."
"Yeah, this is pretty crazy," Davis said. "I'd never guess that Terri was capable of those things she was talking about."
"Well, I'm more concerned about that Holladay guy and what he's capable of," Faith said. "I mean, if he's got the johnson big enough to visit Terri in the hospital knowing there's gunna be cops there, what else is he capable of?"
"You don't think he'll try something now that we know about him, do you?" Davis asked.
"How would he know if we know about him?" Sully asked. "Maybe he's holding Terri's past over her head like blackmail, or something."
Faith looked back down at her cup of coffee and shook her head. "God, this was one hell of a secret."
"Yeah," Davis said. "But can you blame her? I mean, what was she supposed to do? Come out and say, 'oh, by the way-'."
Faith shook her head. "I don't know what to do, or what to think."
"I don't think Terri kept this from us because she was trying to hide it from us," Sully said. "I've known Terri since she joined the NYPD. I know that she's not the person she just told us about anymore. She made a mistake, but I'm ready to forgive and forget and move on."
"Maybe," Faith said, only half listening. "You don't think Terri's health will be a factor in this whole Holladay thing, do you?"
"Her health?" Davis asked.
"Yeah. She has a concussion from that fall today," Faith said. "Do you think that'll hold her up at all?"
Sully shook his head. "I doubt it. She's never let anything affect her before. Remember when that skel stabbed her in the shoulder last year? She was back to work three days later locking up everyone in that guy's crew."
"Yeah," Davis said. "And that time she got Maced right in the face, but she tackled the perp and had him in custody before any of the other officers on the scene caught up with her."
"Well," Faith said. "I have a feeling this is going to be a little tougher for her to handle than dealing with skels and Mace."
