Later that same day
"But why do you need to leave?" cries Zainab, "just when we've sorted everything out."
"I need to go back to Leeds for a little while," Syed explains calmly, as he stuffs the last of his clothes into his suitcase. "Roger, you remember I told you about him; well he has this property deal which he needs me to help him with; it's too good an opportunity to pass up; there's very little risk, but we could make a lot of money if it comes off."
"When will you be coming back?" asks Masood.
"I'm not sure, maybe in a few weeks or a few months," Syed admits vaguely. It will depend on how things pan out, and on whether I get any more opportunities from this."
"But you will be coming back, won't you?" asks Tamwar anxiously.
"Of course," he says, as convincingly as he can.
"Okay, okay, hang on, where's the fire?" calls Christian, as he hurries to answer the insistent buzzing. "Yes, who is it?" he snaps into the entry phone speaker.
"It's Tamwar."
Christian immediately buzzes him up.
"What did you say to him? What did you say to him after I left?" Tamwar demands as soon as he is inside the door of the flat.
"Why, what's happened?" asks Christian warily.
"He's left, that's what's happened," snaps Tamwar angrily. "He caught a train to Leeds about 20 minutes ago."
"Right, and when is he coming back?" asks Christian calmly.
"He said, weeks, maybe months, but I got the feeling it might be never," replies Tamwar, his eyes filling with tears. "Everything was starting to calm down; I thought we would be okay, and then he spends half an hour with you and he's running scared. What did you do?" he cries, running his hand distractedly through his hair.
"Get him on the phone," says Christian.
"What?" squeaks Tamwar.
"Do it," snaps Christian.
Instinctively realising the problem has been taken out of his hands, Tamwar follows orders.
"Hi Tam," Syed answers in a subdued voice after a couple of rings.
"Hi Syed," says Christian, taking the phone off Tamwar. "Sy, don't hang up until you've heard what I've got to say. Sy, Sy, are you there?"
After a moment's silence the line goes dead.
Christian immediately presses re-dial, and this time it rings a few times before Syed eventually answers, "I don't want to talk to you; there is nothing you've got to say that I want to hear," he says angrily.
"Sy, please, just give me two minutes, and then you can hang up, I promise," begs Christian, his voice full of desperation.
"Okay," sighs Syed, "but it won't change anything."
"Sy, I understand why you left. I would have done the same thing in your shoes. The way I behaved earlier was unforgivable," he admits, his voice full of remorse. "I should never have spoken to you, or treated you, like that. I am so sorry. And the only reason I'm speaking to you now is to make you a promise that I will never behave that way again. If you come back, I will stay out of your way; I won't approach you, or try to speak to you. We can both live in the Square without ever having to meet. You never go to the Vic, I wouldn't dare go anywhere near the MQ; and we have two different sets of friends; so there is no need for us to ever cross paths. Sy, do you understand what I'm saying?"
"Yes," says Syed hesitantly.
"Maybe one day, a year or two from now, we will be able to exchange a few words, once all the pain has healed; but for now I can see that it's just too soon," Christian concludes, his words ringing with sincerity.
"Why are you suddenly being so understanding?" Syed asks suspiciously.
"Because I don't want you to lose your family again," Christian admits. "I know what almost happened the last time, and I can't bare the idea of you up in Leeds all alone."
"I've got to go," Syed says quietly.
"Please just think about it," begs Christian.
"I will."
"After he hangs up the phone, Christian turns to Tamwar. "Please just let me know if he decides to come home, that's all I ask," he says quietly.
"I will," Tamwar assures him.
A couple of days later, Christian gets a text letting him know that Syed is coming home.
The following week
"Are you sure you don't mind opening up, papoo?" asks Zainab as she tries to change Kamil's nappy whilst putting together a menu for one of Bushra's parties.
"No problem," insists Syed, as he washes up his cereal bowl, before grabbing his jacket and heading out the door.
"Walking towards the MQ, he keeps his head down. It's only about 8am, and he knows Christian won't be up yet, but is still afraid of even catching a glimpse of him; or worse, seeing some random guy leaving his place. It's strange, but the longer he goes without running into him, the more Syed builds it up in his head. Since returning, he's only been out when going to or coming from work, and never alone; either Tam, or one of his parents have always been with him. He suspects they no longer trust him with even the most mundane matters, after the way his life has unravelled over the last few months.
He has a rule: he blocks his mind from thinking about Christian when he is with his family, but allows his thoughts free reign when he is by himself. He knows it's not possible to block him out completely. He wonders if Christian ever thinks of him; if Christian is happy. Syed remembers the last time he was happy, it was the last time he was with Christian planning their idealistic future together. He wonders if he will ever be happy again, and accepts matter-of-factly that he probably won't.
"Syed, hi, how've you been?" asks Christian breezily, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.
Syed almost jumps out of his skin. He blushes furiously, guilt written all over his face, as if Christian somehow knows he was thinking about him. "Christian, you startled me," he says breathlessly, staring at him in shock.
"Time for a coffee?" he asks, grabbing his arm and walking him quickly towards his flat before Syed has time to answer.
"Christian? No. What are you doing?" shouts Syed struggling to break free of Christian's grip; but it's already too late, as they are only a few feet from the rear entrance to the building, and within seconds are inside the back door. "You said you'd stay away," he reminds him agitatedly. "You said you wouldn't talk to me; that we wouldn't run into each other …"
"And you said we'd get a bungalow together and call it 'Dunlyin','' Christian replies. What can I say, people lie," he adds dryly, as he drags Syed up the stairs to the flat.
"You can't keep me here," Syed tries to reason; still struggling ineffectually to break free, and almost falling over when Christian suddenly lets him go once they are inside.
"I want you to phone Tamwar, and ask him to bring over your clothes. I want you to tell him you're going to be living here from now on," Christian stuns him by calmly stating his plan.
"You're mad, why would I ever do that?" asks Syed incredulously.
"Because if you don't, I'm going to destroy your family," Christian replies coldly.
"What are you talking about?" Syed tries to laughs, but he doesn't quite pull it off.
"Remember your father's accident before Christmas?" Christian asks. "Well he told Jane he made up the story about the kid on the moped; I'll bet the police would be interested to hear about that. And about the fact that he was trying to hold down three jobs to pay for your wedding, and because of this was probably too tired to drive that night. Or maybe I can speak to the Post Office about all the post that people are saying has recently gone missing. Didn't Masood have trouble before with missing post? How will it look if he's under suspicion again? He might lose his job. I can also speak to the Inland Revenue about all his cash-in-hand work. And if none of that sticks, Jane has agreed to dissolve the Beale-Masood partnership; and after all the bad press your family has had, and the drop in business because of your fall from grace, I'm guessing you guys won't survive if you try to go-it alone.
Of course, if none of that will persuade you, I could get more personal. How would you like it if I turned up at your Mosque one day, maybe when you're there with your father and Tamwar? Or the next time your family is throwing a party, I could turn up and make some sort of a scene; you remember what happened the last time I turned up at one of your family's parties …"
"Why would you do this to us, to me?" Syed asks weakly, reeling from all he's heard. "You told me yourself, you've moved on, so why would you want me living here? How would you explain me being here when you bring guys back?" he pleads desperately. "I know you hate mum, but if you put any of these ideas into practice you will be hurting dad, Tamwar and Kamil as well as her."
"Someday, remind me explain to you how much I hate your father; which is probably even more than I hate your mother, and that's saying something," Christian snaps angrily. "But we're getting side-tracked; you were about to phone Tamwar," he reminds Syed coldly.
"Christian, please don't do this," begs Syed, trying to reason with him. "You can't lock me in here forever; force me to ..." he trails off, embarrassed.
"You won't be locked in here, you're going to have a mobile phone stall to run from, hopefully, tomorrow;" Christian informs him, "and don't flatter yourself, you're going to be sleeping on the couch."
Syed just stares at him, completely lost for words.
"PHONE TAMWAR!" Christian shouts, making him jump, and immediately reach for his phone.
About 20 minutes later an anxious Tamwar appears with his stuff. "What's going on?" he demands as soon as he walks in.
When Syed doesn't speak, he turns to Christian. "I thought you said you were going to leave him alone?" he reminds him sharply.
"I don't have to explain myself to you, anymore than to Zainab or Masood," Christian snaps. You may all hate me, but believe me the feeling is more than mutual. So, now that you've dropped off Sy's stuff, you know where the door is ..."
"Wow, hang on," says Tamwar, "I don't hate you. And for the record, I've actually been fighting your corner," he informs him indignantly.
A surprised Christian looks at Syed questioningly.
"It's true," he confirms, "Tam did try many times to persuade me to talk to you to try and sort things out. And he tried very hard to talk me out of getting help to try to stop myself having feelings for you," he confesses awkwardly, his eyes searching for somewhere safe in the room to look.
"Sorry Tamwar, I just assumed," Christian admits, looking apologetically at him.
"Don't worry about it. I don't blame you for jumping to conclusions, considering mum's and dad's reactions," says Tamwar smiling. "So, are you guys now finally together?" he asks hopefully.
Christian looks to Syed for confirmation, which he reluctantly provides, "Yea, Tam, we've talked everything through and are going to give it a go," he admits, his face flushed with embarrassment.
"Brilliant," beams Tam, reaching out to touch Syed's arm as a gesture of reassurance that he thinks he's doing the right thing. "I'd better get back and give mum and dad the 'good' news," he grins, turning to leave. "I hope you don't mind if Kamil and I come for a visit once in a while?" he asks hesitantly.
"I can't imagine Kamil will be allowed anywhere near this den of iniquity," replies Christian with a smile, but you're always welcome.
"I'll find a way to make it happen," assures Tamwar, before he leaves.
"Right, I'll phone Mr Lister and let him know you're free to meet him later today," says Christian turning to Syed, his mind once more on practical matters. "I assume you weren't bluffing when you said you could come up with stock?"
"Mum ...," Syed tries to say.
"If I see you so much as glance in the direction of your house, I'll be straight on the phone to the police," warns Christian angrily.
"I'll make a few calls," says Syed, hastily reaching for his phone once more.
Over the next few weeks, Syed is so busy getting the stall up and running, he doesn't have much time to think about his family problems. He is up early every morning, and out the door and on his stall selling stock, or on his phone trying to locate stock, or going to pick up stock, most of every day. He only returns late in the evening to grab something to eat and fall into bed.
And during this period, the most interesting thing happens: because he has no choice, he accepts his situation and just gets on with it; in much the same way as he accepted being married to Amira and that life, except that this time he finds he is actually enjoying himself. He no longer dreams of a different life in his quieter moments; he no longer feels trapped in his life.
As he has such a gentle nature and is not one to hold a grudge, he doesn't stay angry with Christian for long. And gradually, without thinking about it, he starts having short conversations with him. In the beginning, they talk about mundane practical stuff, like who has time to do the food shopping or make dinner; and over time they get into the habit of doing small favours for each other, such as Christian minding the stall while Syed goes to pick up stock, or Syed staying in to wait for the new washing machine to be delivered. As time passes, he slips into the habit of telling Christian about his day and asking Christian about his, as they sit eating dinner; and he finds he really looks forward to seeing him every evening, and chatting to him when he pops along to see how he's getting on working on the stall.
And even more amazingly, Syed is so busy, he doesn't have time to dwell too much on Zainab's hostility; or to notice that whilst Masood stays out of his way, he is secretly proud of how hard he is working to make a success of the stall.
He sees Tamwar and Kamil every day as they pass by during their mid-morning walk, and the three of them often have lunch in the Cafe or in the park. For the first time in so long, Syed feels content with his life. He sees him mum every day as she works on the MQ stall, but she ignores him when he speaks to her. He misses the closeness they once had, but accepts that he'd lost that long before he actually moved in with Christian.
In fact, the only problem Syed has had to deal with since moving in with Christian is the couch. He can't deny that it is an extremely comfortable couch; but lying there each night, and only being able to look across at Christian, sleeping mere feet away in just his boxers, without being able to touch, is absolute torture (especially in the very early mornings just as it's starting to get bright, by which time he has usually kicked off the covers). Often, as he watches him sleep, Syed wishes he could paint as well as his mother used to think he could; although he can't imagine her framing a picture of Christian in his underwear and hanging it on their sitting room wall. The very idea gives him a fit of the giggles.
"What?" mumbles Christian in his sleep, "Sy, Sy, where are you?" he cries anxiously.
"I'm here," assures Syed gently.
"Okay," sighs Christian, relaxing once more into sleep.
"Just thinking about giant seagulls," Syed whispers with a smile, before forcing himself to close his eyes on the beautiful view, and settle down to sleep.
Four weeks after Syed moves in with Christian
"We're going to need to get milk, we've only got enough for today's breakfast," Syed says by way of 'good morning', as he eats his cereal whilst working on Christian's laptop.
"Right, I'll grab some later before I go to work," mumbles Christian as he stumbles out of bed and into the bathroom.
"What are you doing this morning?" Syed asks.
"I've got to do some laundry, and have a bit of a clear out to make more space; and then I'll probably go shopping and replace the stuff I've thrown away," replies Christian, and Syed can hear the smile in his voice at his own logic. "Because my shift in the Vic doesn't start until five, I won't be home until closing," he adds indistinctly as he washes his teeth.
"Christian, come and see," Syed suddenly shouts excitedly, "Tam's got the website up and running, and we've already got some orders."
Christian rinses and comes to check it out. "Very professional looking," he compliments, leaning over Syed's shoulder, with one arm resting on the back of Syed's chair, whilst he clicks through the menus. "Tamwar's a clever guy."
"You know he's managed to get into Middlesex University in North London, to do a Theatre Arts degree next year," Syed says happily. "He's acting all calm about it, but I know he's ecstatic," he adds, looking up at Christian, and suddenly finding his face is much too close for comfort.
"That's great, really great," replies Christian in a slightly stilted voice, before moving quickly away.
"Yea," replies Syed sadly.
"So, what time are you, Tamwar and Kamil heading off to the carnival?" What time do you need me to cover the stall? Christian asks.
"We were planning to leave at around noon; that should give us plenty of time to see and do everything, and still be back by the time you need to leave for your shift," Syed replies.
"No problem, take as long as you need. I can fob Roxy off for an extra hour if you find you're running late," Christian assures.
"Thanks for doing this," Syed says gratefully.
On the dot of 12, Christian, Tamwar and Kamil, approaching from different directions, turn up at Syed's stall. "Thanks again for doing this," Syed tells Christian, as he hands him the kitty.
"I think someone would like a word," Tamwar laughs, as Kamil gurgles and looks adoringly up at Christian; stretching out both hands to him.
"Hey there little man, you happy to see your uncle Christian?" asks Christian playfully, bending down to give Kamil his full attention. And Kamil shows that he is more than happy, by kicking his legs frantically and reaching out to grab a couple of Christian's fingers so that he can pull him closer.
Syed and Tamwar laugh at Kamil's growing excitement, but they are not the only ones to witness the cute scene.
"Get your hands off my baby," roars Zainab as she comes charging towards them, followed by Masood.
"Mum," begs Tamwar, "please don't make a scene."
Christian gently removes his fingers from Kamil grasp, and stands up to face his foe.
"I told you, I warned you, you sick, disgusting ..." screams Zainab, reaching with both hands outstretched for Christian's face; beyond rage at witnessing her three children looking adoringly at him."
"Mum, NO," shouts Syed, quickly putting himself between Christian and Zainab, and grabbing her arms before they can connect with Christian. "Mum, don't you touch him, don't you insult him," he shouts angrily in her face. "You can say what you like to me, but don't you ever raise your voice or your hands against him again; or I'll make you regret it," he warns.
"Oh, and what are you going to do? And who is going to listen to you? You who have chosen to live a life of ..." demands Zainab, looking at him with distaste.
"Well, for a start," Syed replies, cutting her off, "I might go and speak to uncle Inzamam. I did think it was strange the way he was at our wedding one minute, and gone the next. And maybe then I could get in touch with cousin Khalid back in Pakistan, and ask him to root around to see what he can find out. And I might have a word with the girls in your book club; Denise or Jane might have something interesting to tell me. Everyone's got something to hide, I always find. And you know whatever I come up with, I'll tell as many people as possible ..." he concludes with a smile.
Her face bright red with embarrassment and anger, Zainab turns on her heal and, pushing her worried-looking husband out of the way, storms off.
"You didn't need to do that," says Christian uneasily.
"Of course I did," confirms Syed, "she had no right to speak to you like that.
So, are we ready to go," he says turning to smile at a grinning Tamwar and Kamil.
"Bet she wasn't expecting that," laughs Tamwar as they set off.
"My heart is pounding and my hands are shaking, look" admits Syed with a relieved laugh, raising both hands to prove his point and show how brave he was.
"So, he's finally grown a pair," murmurs Lucy coming up to Christian after they've left. But Christian barely hears her; he is too busy worrying about how choked up with emotion he became on hearing Syed defend him.
It started as a vague plan, born out of his own pain and heartbreak, to hurt Syed by forcing him away from his beloved family; and to beat Zainab and Masood at their own game by forcing them to watch him with Syed each day, with him controlling his life the way they used to. But somehow he has fallen into his own trap - he's forgotten that the only reason Syed is with him is because he forced him to be.
It hits Christian hard to realise that the anger and bitterness he felt towards Syed after he rejected him, and the emotional distance he fought so hard to achieve, have all just melted away over the last few weeks.
The next morning at around 6am
"Where have you been?" Syed demands, looking up sleepily from the couch as Christian walks slightly unsteadily towards his bed. "You've been out all night," he accuses, sitting up.
"Go back to sleep, we'll talk later," Christian replies in a tired voice, without looking in his direction. He sits down heavily on the side of the bed and clumsily pulls off his shoes, before lying down still fully dressed and turning way from Syed.
Syed gets up off the couch and marches over to the bed. He grabs Christian's shoulder, shaking him to get his attention. "Christian, were you with a guy?" he accuses, his voice thick with emotion.
"None of your business," mumbles Christian.
Furiously Syed strengthens his grip on his shoulder and jerks him roughly around to face him. "Were you with a guy?" he shouts angrily.
"What I've done, or who I've done tonight is none of your business," says Christian bluntly, pushing his hand away. "You're only here because ..."
But he is cut off in mid-sentence by a stinging slap across the face. "Don't you speak to me like that," Syed cries. "You've no ...," he starts to add, but the words catch in his throat when Christian, his face thunderous, is sitting up and on his feet in an instant.
"I'm sorry, I was angry, but you can't treat me like that," stammers Syed as he quickly backs away, trying to evade him. But Christian reaches out and grabs him by the shoulders and, lifting him off the ground, throws him against the wall, pressing his arm against his throat to hold him there and to stop him struggling.
"Let me make myself very clear," he growls close to his face, "you are here because I blackmailed you into staying. Things may be getting a little cosy, but this isn't 'happily ever after'. As soon as I get bored with this little set-up, you're out on the street; and that little stunt you just pulled has shortened your stay by quite a bit."
"Please Christian," begs Syed in a strangled voice, tears running down his cheeks.
Christian releases the pressure on his throat, fighting the need to take him in his arms and kiss away his tears.
"Why did you bring me here?" Syed asks miserably. "You obviously hate me now."
"I brought you here to teach you and your horrible parents a lesson," Christian informs him bitterly.
I brought you here to hurt Zainab, the way she has hurt me every time she's screamed horrible insults at me these last few months; and because she did everything she could to keep us apart; and for the way she did her best at every turn to convince me of how loved up you and Amira were when you were on honeymoon, even though she knew it was tearing me apart.
I took Masood's son away from him, to pay him back for the joy and satisfaction he took in my pain when he told me Amira was pregnant; and for the way he left me lying beaten in the street, without lifting a hand to help me.
And lastly, I did it to pay you back for all the times you've gotten my hopes up, only to destroy them again; and for planning a future with me, and then telling me I wasn't enough for you.
Are they good enough reasons for you?" he cries, his voice shaking with emotion and his eyes bright with unshed tears.
"Yes," Syed whispers. "I'm so ..." he starts to say, reaching up to touch Christian's cheek tenderly.
"Save it," Christian interrupts him angrily, pushing his hand away, "nothing you have to say can change anything now." And with that he releases Syed and goes back to bed.
Syed stands rooted to the spot for a good five minutes more, and then goes to sit on the couch; his thoughts are all over the place. He sits for the next few hours, just going over everything, and then he makes a decision.
