Bosco looked over at Terri. She had her elbow propped up on the armrest and she was resting her head in her hand with her eyes closed.

They were on their way to Bosco's apartment. Terri had wanted to go back to hers, but Bosco convinced her, without much of an argument, to stay with him for the night. He wanted to watch over her on his home turf, just in case Holladay wanted to try something else tonight.

As he turned his Mustang into an open parking spot, Terri stirred. She opened her eyes and looked around. "Are we there already?"

"Yeah," Bosco said.

Terri nodded sleepily. "Okay." She closed her eyes again.

Bosco smiled to himself. He climbed out of his car and walked around to Terri's door. He opened her door and leaned down so that he was eye level with her. "If you think I'm going to carry you up two flights of stairs, you're crazy."

Without opening her eyes, she said, "You can take the elevator."

"It's a walk-up. Get out of the car," Bosco demanded.

Terri slowly climbed out of the car and waited as Bosco got her bag out of the back seat. She felt a sudden wave of dizziness and tried to steady herself by holding onto the car door.

Bosco put an arm around her waist. "Whoa. You okay?"

"Yeah," Terri answered. She tucked her arm through his. "I was just sitting too long."

Bosco pushed her door closed and started toward the stairs leading to the door of his building. "Let's get inside."

"Bosco?"

"Yeah?"

Terri looked like she wanted to say something, but then shook her head.

"What?" Bosco asked.

She shook her head. "Nevermind. Let's go inside."

Bosco looked at her for a second, before he turned back to the door.

A few minutes later, he opened his apartment door for Terri. She walked in and stood in the living room. Bosco closed the door, locked it, and walked over and set her bag down on the couch. He put his hands in his pockets and looked over at Terri.

"So, you can take the bed in the bedroom and I'll sleep on the couch." He gestured toward the kitchen. "I don't know what kind of food I have here, but you're welcome to anything. If you need anything else, I can run and get it."

Terri was barely listening to him. She had walked over to the window and stood, looking out at the city. There was a slightly pinkish tinge along the horizon, signaling that the sun was about to rise. One of her three days was gone and the second was about to start. She closed her eyes, thinking about everything that had happened in the last few hours, and the things that had led up to the events of today.

"Hey, you okay?"

Terri nodded, absently.

Bosco could tell she had something she wanted to say, but he didn't want to push her. He sat down on the couch, next to her bag, and leaned back, waiting.

Terri took a deep breath and as she let it out, all of her defenses, the walls she had put up to hold back her uncertainty and fear, came down. She didn't have the strength to put up a strong front anymore. "I'm a horrible person."

Bosco could tell it wasn't a question. "What? Of course you're not."

"I've done a lot of terrible things that have hurt a lot of people."

"What's got you talking like this?" Bosco asked. He got to his feet and stepped over to her.

Terri turned her head so that she was looking directly at him. Bosco watched as a tear rolled down her cheek. The bruise on her face had turned an ugly purple, but he was looking past that, into her eyes. There was so much pain there.

"If you really knew me," she said. "You wouldn't want to know me."

Bosco shook his head. "You know that's not true, Terri. Why are you talking like this?"

Terri closed her eyes and turned away from him. "I've tried so hard to forget, so hard to be a better person, to make up for all the wrong I've done, but now-"

Bosco put a hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "Nothing's changed, Terri. You are a good person."

Terri shook her head. "I – I don't think -"

Bosco turned her around, so he could look her in the eye. "What? You don't think you're a good person? How many examples of the dozens of things you do everyday do you need to convince you that you are a good person? I'm sure you've done things you regret. Everybody has. You have to move on. Stop punishing yourself for the things you've done in your past."

"I'm afraid of my past, all right," Terri said, lowering her eyes. "And Kyle is a big part of my past."

Bosco was shocked into momentary silence. Terri had told them a lot of things tonight that had caused him to pause and reflect on the woman he thought he knew, but he had never heard her admit to being afraid of anything. She was always calm and collected. Unflappable in every situation he had ever seen her in. For her to come right out and say she was afraid was something he had never experienced.

Terri, misinterpreting his silence as disappointment, pulled away from him and took a step backward to the couch. Her head was pounding again and now there was a ringing in her ears. She slowly sat down and put her hands on her temples. Her face registered obvious pain. She started rifling through her bag. "Do you know what happened to those pills they gave me at the hospital?"

Bosco moved over to the couch. He pulled the bag away from her and sat down next to her. Almost instantly, Terri broke down. She buried her face in her hands and began to sob.

"Hey, hey," Bosco said. He pulled her into his chest. "It's okay."

"It's happening again," Terri said, her voice shaking. "Everything's falling apart."

"You're not alone this time, okay?" He knew it was just nerves and exhaustion talking, but it still bothered him to see her shaken like this. "We're all here to back you up. This isn't going to be anything like last time."

"I can't do this," Terri sobbed. "I can't."

"Don't worry about that right now, okay," Bosco said as he rubbed her back. "Let's just get through tonight, all right?"

Terri wrapped her arms around his neck. "He's never going away."

Bosco held her tightly in his arms as he said, "We'll get him, I promise."

Terri was silent for several minutes as she slowly calmed down and the tears subsided. "Back in my room, at the hospital, before he left, he said he wasn't willing to let me go." She held the back of his shirt tightly in her hands. "He kissed me and then he-" Her voice faltered.

"Oh, my God," Bosco muttered.

"He didn't hurt me," Terri whispered. "He just-" She pulled back and turned away. "And I didn't stop him."

Bosco shook his head, and cursed himself inwardly again for leaving her alone. "Terri, I am so sorry."

Terri turned back toward him. "Do you have any idea what that's like? Having the person I've spent the last twelve years trying to forget, touch me like that." She shook her head. "I can't do it. I don't know how to handle it."

Bosco turned her to face him. "So, what? You're just going to give up?" He shook his head. "No. If anyone can stop this guy, you can. I'll be with you every step of the way. All of us will. We can get this guy."

Terri closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. "You don't know Ky like I do."

"I don't need to know him," Bosco said. He felt a lump in his throat. "I know what he's done to you. What he's still doing to you."

Terri heard his voice break and she looked up at him. "I need to tell you something. Something I didn't tell the others. I'd like you to keep this between you and me, okay?"

Bosco nodded slowly. He wasn't sure if he truly wanted to hear this.

She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "When I left Chicago, I was three months pregnant."

Bosco was silent for a long time. He looked down at his hands. They were clenched in tight fists, his knuckles white. He slowly opened them and watched as color flowed back to his fingers. He re-clenched his fists and then opened them again.

He couldn't bring himself to look at her. He wasn't sure what part of what Terri had just told him bothered him more, whether it was the clarity of her relationship with Holladay or that this was just another layer of her past and he didn't know when it would end.

Terri watched Bosco closely. She'd known that this was going to be difficult for him to understand, but she knew that she needed to come completely clean with him, if he was ever going to understand her past and what drove her to make the choices she'd made.

"What happened to the baby?" Bosco asked reluctantly. He wasn't sure what answer he wanted to hear.

"I miscarried the week after I moved to New York." Terri felt tears in her eyes again. "It's was probably a good thing, though," she said, wiping the tears as they spilled over, onto her cheeks. "If Ky had found out about the baby, I'd have lost him then, so I suppose it was a blessing in disguise. At least that's what I always told myself."

Bosco looked in her eyes. "Terri, I need to know something."

Terri nodded in understanding.

He hesitated for a moment, unsure of how he should proceed. He didn't want to offend her by being too direct, and yet he had to ask. "Was it truly a miscarriage?"

Terri felt like she'd been slapped in the face. This was not the type of question she'd been expecting. "What?"

"I mean, I don't care either way," Bosco said quickly. "But I don't want you to lie to me about anything anymore. I'll believe you, whatever you tell me."

Terri just stared. This was the part of her that she had buried the deepest. She felt physical pain just thinking of re-exposing this long dead memory.

Bosco was confused by her silence. He wasn't sure if it meant that she was trying to decide how to answer him, or if he'd gone too far.

She closed her eyes. As Bosco watched her tears roll down her cheeks, he felt a stabbing pain in his heart and he cursed himself inwardly for causing Terri this new pain.

Terri continued. "I had done some terrible things in my life up 'til then. When I found out I was pregnant, I felt as if I'd been given a second chance at life. I left Ky without telling him about the baby and came here. I was ready to start my new life, in a new city. And then, the pain began. It started slowly, barely noticeable at first, but it slowly got worse. I was still moving into my apartment, so I thought I'd been pushing myself too hard and I just dealt with it."

She stopped, took a few deep breaths, then continued. "I was just stepping into the elevator with the last of my things, when I was overcome by a sharp stabbing pain in my stomach. It was so strong that I lost consciousness. Luckily, someone found me and called for help. I woke up in the hospital a day later, and I could fell nothing but the emptiness inside of me. I knew I had lost my baby."

Bosco closed his eyes and shook his head. "Oh, Terri, I'm so sorry."

Terri shook her head. "Like I said, it was probably a good thing. Who knows what kind of life he'd have if he'd been born."

"He'd have a wonderful mother."

Terri took the hand that Bosco had placed on her cheek and pushed it away. "A wonderful mother? I don't think so."

Bosco put his hand back on her cheek and brushed a stray tear away with his thumb. "Well, I do."

Terri smiled sadly at him. "Thanks, Moe. I appreciate that."

There was an awkward silence for a few moments as they both thought about their conversation and what to say next. Bosco looked at Terri. He could see in her face that she was completely drained.

"Well, let's get you into bed. You could use a few good hours sleep." Bosco stood and stepped over to her and helped her to her feet. "Come on."

They walked into the bedroom. The mattress was bare, except for a few pillows at the head of the bed and a set of sheets that sat on the end. Terri smiled sadly to herself. "Didn't your mother teach you to make your bed in the morning before you go to school?"

"Yeah well, my mom wasn't exactly the domestic type," Bosco said. "These sheets are clean."

The two of them pulled the fitted sheet over the mattress and spread the second sheet over the top.

"I'll get you another blanket." He walked back out of the room.

Terri nodded. The small effort of making the bed caused her head to swim and she sat down on the edge of the bed. The second she sat, a wave of exhaustion passed over her. She pulled a pillow over and laid down. Within seconds, she was asleep.

Bosco came back into the room. He walked over to the side of his bed and sat down next to Terri. He gently spread the blanket over her. She didn't stir.

He stood and pulled a chair over to the side of the bed. He sat back in the chair and crossed his arms over his chest. He was content on watching over her until she awoke.


"No!"

Bosco jumped out of his chair and had his gun in his hand before he realized what had woken him. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision. His eyes rested on Terri. She was moving around and mumbling softly.

"Terri?"

She didn't answer. She was dreaming.

Bosco put his gun back into his holster and sat down on the edge of the bed. He put his hand on Terri's arm and shook it gently. "Terrisa," he whispered.

Her eyes flew open and she recoiled from his touch. "Get away!"

Bosco held up both his hands and backed up. "Whoa, Terri, it's okay. It's me."

"Bosco?" She appeared confused for a split second and then recognition washed over her face. "Bosco."

"Yeah," He sat back down on the edge of the bed. "It's me. You're okay now. You were just having a nightmare."

She nodded. She was still very pale, but as he watched her, Bosco could see color coming back into her cheeks.

Terri pulled herself into a sitting position and leaned back against the headboard. She stifled a yawn and looked around for a second and then asked, "How long did I sleep?"

He looked down at his watch. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and said, with a yawn, "About five hours. It's a little after eight."

"Did you sleep?"

He nodded. "Yeah, a little bit."

She looked at the chair next to the bed and looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. "In that?"

He shrugged.

"Why didn't you sleep on the couch?"

"I wanted to be here in case you needed anything."

"And you couldn't do that from the living room?" Terri asked, a small smile creeping onto the corners of her lips.

Bosco realized he was being teased. "Look, next time I need to baby-sit you, you can sleep on the couch, okay?"

Terri smiled coyly. "You could've slept in the bed."

Bosco shook his head, and looked away. "I - I didn't even think about it."

"Liar, but I appreciate you being a gentleman." Terri patted his hand. "I'm going to take a shower." She stood and walked over to the bathroom door, and looked back at Bosco. "Want to join me?"

Bosco smiled, knowing he was being teased. "Towels are in the cupboard beside the sink. I'll make some breakfast."


The hot water slammed into her back and splashed over her shoulders. Terri stood under the water and let it and the warm steam wrap around her body. She was completely relaxed.

After she'd washed and rinsed her hair, she shut off the water, stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel. Then she walked to the steamy mirror and cleared a circle with her hand.

Terri starred at her reflection. She looked tired and worn. The bruise around her eye was still an ugly purple, but the swelling was completely gone. The fresh bandage they'd put on for her at the hospital had gotten a little wet during her shower, but it was still in place, so she left it alone. She quickly dried herself off and wrapped the towel around her hair.

She could hear and smell breakfast being cooked in the kitchen and suddenly realized how hungry she was. She dressed quickly and went into the kitchen.

Bosco, his back to her, was standing next to the stove. The table had been set with plates and silverware and there was orange juice in two glasses. In the center of the table were two filled plates, one with toast and the other with bacon.

Bosco must have sensed her presence, because he turned his head around and smiled at her. "Hey. How was your shower?"

"Just what I needed, and then I smelled breakfast." She walked over and stood beside him. She looked into the pan and saw he was just finishing six eggs over easy. "How many of us are eating?"

"Just us and I hope you're hungry," Bosco said. He turned the stove off and carried the pan to the table. He put three eggs on each of the empty plates and then put the pan back on the stove.

He pulled a chair out for her. After she was seated, he sat down across from her. "Do you want anything else?"

Terri shook her head. "This is more than enough." She took a few strips of bacon and two pieces of toast and laid them on her plate. "You really went all out, didn't you?"

Bosco shrugged. "I was hungry." He took a bite of toast. "So, what are we going to do today?"

Terri swallowed the eggs she was chewing. "I want to go talk to the guy from the store. See if he can tell us anything useful."

"Do you think you're up to working?"

Terri glared across the table at him.

He raised a hand. "Sorry." Bosco bit into a piece of bacon. "You know you're gunna catch heat from Swersky if you go into work today."

Terri shrugged. "I'm still going in. I need to talk to that guy." She set her fork down on her plate with a soft clang and looked at Bosco. "I think I know him."


"Terri, what are you doing here? You should be in the hospital."

Terri stepped up to the front desk and rested her arms on the counter. "Come on, Lieu. You know me better than that. Me, in a hospital? I don't think so."

Lieutenant Swersky crossed his arms over his chest, and gave Terri his best fatherly glare, knowing full well that it would do no good. "You're the most stubborn girl I've ever met," he said. The corners of his mouth turned up in a small, almost imperceptible grin. "But I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks, Lieu," Terri said.

Swersky turned to Bosco. "What are you doing here? I know you're back on today but not for another five hours. It's not like you to be on time, let alone early."

Bosco opened his mouth to respond, but Terri spoke first.

"We were hoping we could have a chat with the guy Yokas and I collared yesterday," Terri said.

"What for?" Swersky asked. "I thought he was in for shoplifting."

"We just want to see what he knows about Terri's accident," Bosco answered. "We have him on tape, sticking Terri with a needle."

"He what?" Swersky looked at Terri.

Terri put up a hand to calm him. "I found it later, after you'd come and gone. It was a clean needle, filled with just enough insulin to make me pass out, but still look like an accident. I'm fine. No lasting effects."

"Other than that shiner and a few stitches," Swersky said. "Do you think he did it to you on purpose?"

"That's what I'd like to talk with him about," Terri answered.

Swersky looked at both of them. "Are you two going to behave?"

"Come on, Lieu," Bosco said. "You know us."

"Yeah, I do," Swersky said. He sighed loudly. "All right, you can go see what you can find out."

"Thanks, Lieu," Terri said. She and Bosco started up the stairs.

"Hey, Swensen," Swersky called after her.

She looked back at Swersky. "Yeah?"

"You look like hell."

Terri smiled and waved a hand at him. "Thanks, Lieu." As they got to the top of the stairs, Bosco took her elbow and pulled her to the side.

"I don't think you should go in there by yourself," he said. "Let me just stand in with you."

"I want to talk to him alone, Boz," Terri said. "You'll be three seconds away if I need you, but I'm going solo on this one."

Bosco nodded, reluctantly. "You want me to do anything?"

Terri thought about this for a second. "Yeah, get me a copy of his jacket and find out who's in the cage with him. Oh, and find out if he's made any phone calls or had anyone visit him. I'm going to call in a quick favor."


"Homicide, Detective Roberts."

"Johnny B," Terri said, unable to keep a smile from her face.

Jonathan Roberts had been at the academy with her back in Chicago and they had hit it off immediately. Throughout the academy and well into their patrol officer years, they had helped each other out of binds time and time again. They had remained good friends even after her move to New York.

"Trademark, how the hell are you?"

"Doing well," Terri answered. She was pleased he recognized her voice, and that he called her by her academy nickname, given to her because of the initials of her first and middle name. "How are you? You staying out of trouble?"

"Ah, you know me. Just being the best civil servant I can be." There was a short pause. "So, it's been a while since I've heard from you. What's up?"

"Something's come up and I need a favor."

"Name it."

Bosco walked in just then and handed her the copy of the man's police file. He sat down across from her.

"I've got a guy in custody that I think used to run with Jack Kelly's crew. It was twelve years ago, and he was just a kid running numbers and acting as a look out," Terri said. "But I'm pretty sure it's him. I'm going to email you his mug shot and I need everything you can get me on him."

"You got it." Jonathan gave her his email address, and then he added, "Jack Kelly was gunned down about six months ago, so most of his boys are in the wind, but I'll see what I can get for you."

Terri handed Bosco the email she'd jotted down. He took it and the mug shot out of the folder and over to the scanner and computer.

"So how are you?" Roberts asked. "Really."

Terri sighed. "I've been better. I ended up in the hospital last night after a tussle in a grocery store. Cracked my head open on a shelf and got seven stitches for my trouble."

"Damn. Were you on the job?"

"Yeah. This guy I'm calling you about, he stuck me with a needle filled with insulin. Not your typical street weapon, but I want to know more about him before I go in there and start asking the wrong questions."

"So you think it was a set up for you?"

"I'm pretty sure," Terri said. She hesitated before adding, "Kyle paid me a visit yesterday."

The line was silent for a few moments, and then, "That bastard. Do you think these two things are connected?"

"That's what I want to find out," Terri said.

"Okay, I just got that mug and this is definitely one of Kelly's boys. I think his name is Ken or Kevin something, let me put you on hold for a second, 'kay?"

"Sure," Terri said. She pulled the phone away from her mouth and turned to Bosco. "Who's in with him right now?"

"Wild Willie," Bosco answered. "Somebody picked him up for D & D last night."

William H. Openshaw was a divorced investment broker who frequented many a New York bar and was a regular occupant of one of the cells at the five-five. Terri had arrested him quite a few times for drunk and disorderly herself, and she'd formed a strange friendship with the man everyone else called "Wild Willie".

She nodded. "Good, he can do us a favor. What about phone calls or visitors?"

Bosco shook his head. "Riley's working the cage and he said our boy hasn't made a sound all night, and no one's even called about him."

Terri nodded. "All right, go pull Willie out and bring him in here. Rough him up a bit, but just for show. I want his roomie to get an idea what he's in for."