'Kay, gaiz, no moar gaems nao. Lets git down to da bsns.


Crazy Carnival Saga: Chapter 28 – Carny Chaos

Previously on 'who gives a damn', Crystal and Rose were close to engaging in Angel Kombat, Lily, cosplaying as someone else, had locked Amy in a restroom, and Sonic was currently making his way there. He was travelling at a speed of 40 mph around the carnival until he saw something which caught his eye. He then spun round and stopped by a food stand. "Two chilli dogs please."

In the other area where Crystal was still waiting for Rose to attack, several civilians still watched as they walked by.

"So what's with the look?" Crystal asked. "Aren't we supposed to wear, you know, angel stuff?"

"I'm not, and shall never again be associated with such garbage."

"You probably just think it makes you look cool and more intimidating..." Crystal said as she rolled her eyes.

"It does. And it's shameful that you still walk around with that ridiculous hairstyle. Seriously, how old are you?"

"I like it that way, okay? Regardless if it's a kiddie hairstyle. Now let's stop talking so I can finally punch you in the face."

Rose slid towards Crystal using a trail of ice stuck to her shoes and attempted hit her in the stomach with a dozen thin icicles coming from the palm of her hand, which Crystal countered by grabbing her arm and hitting her with her feet as she back flipped. Rose flew back and landed in one tent, then quickly flew out in the same direction Sonic left while Crystal quickly followed her.

As Sonic was running around while eating his chilli dogs, he came across Cream who sat on a bench nearby eating candy floss with Cheese as Sonic walked over.

"Hi Sonic." Cream waved as she noticed him. "Are you having fun?"

"Well sort of..."

"Is Blaze here too?"

"Blaze is back in her own dimension at the moment."

"Aww, she was so kewl!" Cream said enthusiastically.

"Why does everyone keep doing that?" Sonic suddenly moved left and avoided a sharp icicle which landed where he was previously standing. He looked further ahead to see Rose standing on another pole who then sighed and said, "It's shameful that I've missed twice with my icicles..."

"It's not that bad, after all, I've got pretty fast reaction time." He said with a smile.

"Yes, now let's get back to business." She said as she morphed her left arm into a large sharp icicle. At that moment, Crystal flew down and fly kicked her in the face with enough force to create a large crater in the concrete floor. As Crystal did so, Sonic ran off, leaving Cream and Cheese utterly confused over the situation.

Rose climbed out of the hole seconds later, partly scratched, then she turned to Crystal and fired dozens of icicles which Crystal dodged as she moved around then hid behind a wall before throwing an umbrella using her psychokinesis which Rose blocked.

Sonic soon stopped behind an abandoned food stand and looked around before ducking. "I'm sure that wasn't enough to stop...whatever she is." Sonic thought for a second then snapped his fingers. "Ahh, right! She doesn't know about the other me, it's ironic that I could use it for a situation such as this." Sonic looked in the backpack he was wearing for the can of pepper given to him earlier that morning by Tails. After finding it, he grinned before putting on the black shirt and pants.

He jumped out from behind the stand moments later, and was now female again. "This should be enough to avoid what's-her-name, now to find her partner." He said before spending off.

Back at Eggman's base, Eggman, Eggman Nega and Virus were still watching the current situation.

"Well this is certainly interesting..." Virus said.

"Indeed, though a little strange." Eggman replied.

"So does anyone think those two will actually succeed in eliminating Sonic the Hedgehog?" Eggman Nega asked.

"I'm sure they won't, Sonic always tends to find some way out of difficult situations at the last minute." Eggman replied.

"Well we'll see soon enough..." Virus said as he looked on.

Shortly after, Sonic dodged yet another icicle aimed at him before spotting Rose on yet another pole. "Again? How did you know it was me?"

"How many anthropomorphic hedgehogs do you see running around here?"

Sonic scratched his forehead and then said, "Well, there's this hedgehog of ice over there..."

"Enough of these shenanigans! Prepare to die!" She yelled before charging at Sonic, who ran off in the opposite direction.

Meanwhile, Lily was stood outside the women's restrooms waiting for someone in particular to turn up. She then saw Sonic running towards the area far ahead with Rose chasing him, and Crystal far behind her. Sonic grabbed her as he passed by while saying, "It's really not safe around here."

"Hey wait, are you the same hedgehog from before? How did you...? And why did you...? And why have you got those...?"

"It's a long story...well actually it's a short story but I don't wanna talk about it. So where did you leave Amy?"

"By the time you find out you'll already be dead." Lily then coughed. "I'd normally laugh but you'll have to put me down first..."

Rose soon managed to freeze part of the floor on the path ahead, making Sonic slip and resulting in Sonic and Lily crashing into a wall. As Rose stopped by the wall, Crystal attacked her from the side, which she blocked before moving back.

Meanwhile, in another area stood Bronze by one food stand, carrying the Master Emerald over his shoulder. Knuckles approached the area from far behind him and stopped ten feet away then squinted at him. "Bronze..."

Bronze spun round and squinted back at him. "Knuckles..." Bronze placed the Master Emerald on a box beside the stand then charged at Knuckles while he did the same. When they met, Knuckles punched him across the face twice before being hit in the stomach with a kick, then avoiding his next punch before elbowing Bronze in the face. They moved backwards in Knuckles' direction as they continued attacking each other, soon before Bronze ducked under one of Knuckles' punches and tackled him into a tent.

A bunch of clowns were putting on a show while Knuckles and Bronze wondered round the stage, continuing their fight. Knuckles ran up to a clown rolling around on a large beach ball and punched it at Bronze who whacked it aside then quickly grabbed three pins which a clown nearby was juggling. He threw the three in quick succession, Knuckles whacked the first two aside then punched the third in half before leaping towards Bronze then pounded his fist into the ground as Bronze jumped back.

A clown driving a small car approached the two and hit them, causing them to land on the bumper as they continuously punched each other, and occasionally the clown as he watched. The ridiculousness caused the clown to drive out the tent, and hit several people walking around the area before the clown lost control and drove the car into a gasoline tank nearby. The result produced a massive explosion, sending Knuckles and Bronze flying as they continued once more.

Knuckles and Bronze conveniently landed in the seat of a rollercoaster ride as it was moving. While they attacked each other yet again, the boy from the aeroplane turned around and saw them. "Mom! Look, it's the golem and that red mole again!" He said, pointing behind him.

"Stop making these ridiculous lies, Timmy." She scolded him.

Just then, Knuckles managed to hit Bronze with an uppercut, knocking out two teeth; one wedged itself in the control panel far below where SA, SA2, SA3 and SA4 were drinking Chaos Cola instead of watching, and the second lodged itself in a wheel on the ride, causing the ride to speed up and fly off course, missing random pedestrians in the streets as Knuckles' and Bronze's kart kept bouncing ahead. They came towards a jeep in the kart but missed it by inches, and while they avoided it, Bronze's tooth touched the jeep slightly.

"Run fools! That crazy ass jeep is gonna blow, because that's what they do!" Mads yelled as he came running towards the area.

Seconds later, half of the people panicked and ran moments before the jeep blew up, resulting in an explosion so devastating it could not fully be described. Knuckles and Bronze ended up being caught in the explosion and were once again sent flying, and so were a ton of civilians who got up shortly after and received no injuries whatsoever. Knuckles and Bronze were somewhat dizzy as they landed on the concrete and got to their feet.

Bronze picked up a crowbar and slowly approached Knuckles. Knuckles looked around desperately to find one, to no prevail. "Hey Knuckles!" Mads yelled, getting Knuckles' attention before he threw him a crowbar. Knuckles gave him a thumbs up while Mads smiled and nodded back. The two continued their fight, moving back in Bronze's direction and they countered each others swings while knocking over a few barrels of gunpowder while they passed a ferris wheel.

Bronze soon knocked Knuckles' crowbar out of his hand, then swung twice as Knuckles ducked before tackling him into the bumper cars area. Knuckles ran far to the right and jumped in a red bumper car and was then bashed out of the area by Bronze in an orange bumper car. The two collided several times as they raced through the streets, and then their bumpers slipped and tripped over some water. The ridiculous action from the bumper cars lit the gunpowder which blew up the ferris wheel.

A bit further away, Bronze stood over Knuckles who was now slowly getting to his feet. Knuckles looked up to suddenly see the ferris wheel coming towards them and fled the area, while Bronze spun round. He didn't even have time to scream before being crushed under the gigantic wheel. Knuckles dusted himself off while Rouge flew by with the Master Emerald in the background. Knuckles gave chase as he followed her out of the carnival. As he left, an iron fist emerged from the wheel, signifying Bronze was far from dead.

As their fight had finished, Sonic, Crystal, Lily and Rose who were watching intensively finally turned to one another. "See Rose? If I brought my video camera I could have recorded that, but you said it was unnecessary!"

"Relax; someone will put it on Youtube or something." Rose reassured her.

"Also, am I the only one who noticed that fight scene took up half of the whole chapter? The padding is ridiculous!"

Crystal shrugged. "It was pretty cool though."

"What she said." Sonic added.

"I'm finding it hard to disagree." Rose replied.

"Well, I guess we'll wait until the next chapter to start then." Lily said.

"I guess so." Sonic replied.

"...I feel like I'm the only one who didn't get that." Rose said with a sigh.

Amber and Tails sat on top of a rooftop further away. After a few seconds, Amber turned to Tails and said, "You got it?"

Tails nodded. "Yep, I got it."


I honestly didn't fell like doing the whole thing, but it leaves enough for the imagination.

Song used:

Oh No You Didn't – Wojahn Brothers (Mercenaries 2)

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Espio and Charmy were sat in their detective agency when Vector suddenly walked in with a letter and placed it on the table as he said, "Yo, yo, yo!" Espio and Charmy gasped at the letter and the three of them left.

They began walking the streets, occasionally smashing Eggman robots as Vector began singing, "Sucka tried to play me, but you never paid me, never..."

"Oh no you didn't!" Espio and Charmy sang in unison.

"Payback is a coming, you will be running for ever..."

"Oh no you didn't!"

"Until I get my vengeance, I will never end this mayhem..."

"Oh No you didn't!"

"I'm a mercenary, you ain't got a prayer, you owe meeee!"

"Oh no you didn't!" The three of them began singing the chorus as they hopped in a 4x4 and made their way to Eggman's base.