Shade's POV

I've come to her room again. Just like before, she's smiling at me as she lies in her bed. "Shade. I'm glad you came here today. Look what I got," she said holding up a box to me. What's that? "Fine brought it for me, let's eat it together."

"I don't need to eat."

"But you can eat," she countered. I just looked at her as she looked back at me. This look reminds me of someone... someone who wanted me to smile. "Let's eat it together. It's chocolate. It'll taste better if we eat it together." Chocolate... I didn't say anything as she got out of bed to sit closer near the window. "The nurses always scold me, if I get something sticky on my bed. Come and sit down."

"I don't want to sit," I said simply. She respected my decision and didn't say anything. She opened the box of chocolates and there were a lot of different shapes of chocolate.

"There's so many kinds! Fine chose a good one this time," Rein said as she looked for a good one to eat. She chose a round one with blue green strips and popped it in her mouth. "A minty flavor, it's good. Here Shade," she said holding out the box to me. Slowly, I took a dark square one. She watched me as I put it in my mouth. A bitter taste overtook my mouth, I could taste a fruit filling too. It's good... "Well? How is it Shade?"

"It's not bad," I said simply.

"Then I'm glad that you like it. I thought that you would like bitter chocolate the best," she said with a smile as she ate another piece of chocolate."It's sweet."

"Your sister gave these to you?" I asked taking another piece. Rein didn't answer. Hm? I looked at her, who seemed scared somehow. She's not scared of me, but she's scared of her sister? That's strange... I thought that she liked her sister... "What's wrong with you?"

"N-nothing." Her hands are trembling...

"If it's nothing, then why do you look so scared?" Her smile fell from her face, and a rather worried look was on her face. Why is she scared? "Rein?"

"You know, before you asked me why I don't hate my sister, since there could have been a chance for me not to have this disease. I don't hate her, but I envy her. I really envy her," she said looking out the window. "She can go outside and play around to her heart's content, while I'm stuck here. I truly envy her."

"Like I've said before, why don't you hate her? If you could have been the one outside, then isn't it only natural to hate her?" It's very simple logic. Why can't she hate? Hatred... isn't it only natural to have feelings like that towards someone?

"But I don't want to hate. Hate will block my view of this world. Envy and hate are two different things, but they lead to each other. I don't want my envy to lead to hatred because she's the sister that I love." Love? I think I've experienced something similar to that before. It was a very warm feeling. "Have you ever felt that way before towards someone, Shade? Have you ever loved someone so much that it's hard to hate them?"

"I don't know. I don't have any clear memories of anyone from my past. All I know is what I've been doing now, my time as a Shinigami," I explained as briefly as possible. "Besides there's no reason for me to remember something like that. It's pretty useless."

"Really? I don't think it is. It's memories and people like those that make life worth living. That's what happiness is, that's what emotion and life is." Rein...

"Eh, who knew that you ever thought this deeply about things," I said teasing her a little. She pouted at me and turned around. "Hey, Rein. It's not that much of an insult." She didn't say anything for a while. Perhaps that was the wrong thing to say? But it really wasn't that much of an insult... or maybe that depends on the person more than the words that are said?

Then she turned around in realization and said with a flowery aura, "Shade, did you just call me by my name?"

"Um..." Shot, I think I did. But I couldn't really help it, I think about saying her name all the time, so it just slipped out. Say something before she gets the wrong idea. "No?" Darn it, that sounds more like a question!

"No, you did say my name! I'm happy, I always think that since you never call me by my name, you forgot about it." It's really hard to forget someone's name, when she yelled it at you, after several times of me calling her 'girl', 'you', or 'hey you'. In retrospect, I should have not say anything at all after I told her that remark, but it's strange. I would have said nothing like that. Am I feeling emotions again? That must be it, since it's getting confusing and there's this weird feeling in my chest again.

"I called you by your name, so what?"

She smiled. "It's the first time that you've called me by my name, so isn't it obvious that I would be happy?"

"I don't know. I told you didn't I? I don't have memories of my past, and I don't know anything about emotions. It's all worthless to me." My words were cold, but I didn't know who I was directing them to. Her or myself?

"But maybe there's a way to get them back. After all, nothing's gone forever. I know! If I tell you a bunch of stories about my past, maybe they'll help you remember something about your past?" She asked excitedly. Huh? "Therefore, I'm going to tell you as many stories as I possibly can!" I don't think that would work... but she won't let me say no probably... "And you can't say no, no matter what."

"Then just don't overdo it," I said. But maybe this will be something interesting to see and who knows, maybe the reason why I became a Shinigami will appear in my head again?