Fairy Tale: Snow White
Rated: T
Cast: Zoro, Nami, Luffy, Sanji, And The CP9 (save Blueno)
A/N: SO SO SO sorry for the late update! I was had a nasty flu during the weekend. TT_TT well to make it up to you, I wrote up a classic Fairy tale at a decent length, enjoy! ON WITH THE SHOW!
Once Upon A Time…
In a large castle there lived two people. Zoro, who everyone in town claims, is the most beautiful person in the world, and his step-mom, Nami. Nami had a grudge toward her step-son. She couldn't imagine why everyone thought a green haired man could possibly be beautiful.
Every morning, she would do her hair and apply her make up, then look into her magic mirror.
"Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most beautiful of them all?" She would ask.
And every morning the mirror would answer, "You are your majesty."
But one morning, Nami did her hair and applied her makeup, and when she asked her mirror who was the most beautiful of them all, the mirror replied with, "Zoro is your majesty."
"Excuse me? Are you freaking mad?" Nami screamed at the mirror. In reply the mirror brought up a picture of Zoro working out.
"He is not beautiful! You must be broken," Nami picked the mirror up and checked it for scratches or chips.
"He is definitely gorgeous your highness. Look at his muscles," The mirror said in a monotone and played another picture of Zoro with his shirt off. Nami avoided glancing at the picture. This was the last straw. Nami had to get rid of Zoro.
She reached for her den den moushi and called on one of her servants. Minutes later, Luffy came bounding into her room. "What do you need?"
"I need you to kill Zoro, take him into a forest and use this axe to kill him," Nami ordered as she gave him a giant medieval battle axe. Luffy stared at the giant weapon with amazement.
"But I don't want to kill him with a battle axe," Luffy said petulantly.
"Fine, if you don't want to use that, just shove him into quicksand," Nami sighed.
"Will I be paid?" Luffy asked.
"You can have some meat when you get back," Nami offered.
Luffy's mouth watered, "I'll do it!"
Later in that day, Luffy went to Zoro's training grounds. Zoro was carrying an impossibly enormous weight in his mouth while swinging an equally enormous weight back and forth in his arms.
"Oi, Zoro!" Luffy called to him.
Zoro continued is training with a small glance of acknowledgement.
"You wanna take a walk with me?" Luffy asked.
"Not now Luffy, I'm training."
"Please?" Luffy made puppy eyes.
"No."
"Please?" he stuck out his lower lip.
"Not now."
"… how 'bout now?"
"No Luffy!" Zoro yelled.
"Okay…" Luffy pouted. He turned away from Zoro and began sulking. When Zoro refocused on his training, Luffy turned back around and grabbed his katana.
"Luffy give those back!" Zoro bellowed. Luffy ran away with his swords into the forest. Zoro had no option other than to chase after him.
After two hopeless hours of wandering around, Zoro sat at a base of a tree.
Luffy sat up in a tree, watching the poor lost Marimo. "I don't feel like killing him, he's too funny."
"Dammit, the trees probably moved around, I can't find Luffy anywhere!" Zoro grumbled to himself.
Night was just beginning to fall, so Zoro took a nap under the tree's sanctuary.
In the morning, a ray of sun shot light through a small clearing in the tree tops and glowed on Zoro's face. He awoke and sat up, trying to remember where he was. He decided to wander around until he found a path. After a few hours of wandering, Zoro came to a clearing, and in the distance he saw a tiny cottage.
The door way was small, and Zoro had to bend down to fit inside. There was a small table set for seven people and upstairs, seven small beds.
"This house is weird, but I might as well eat something here," Zoro thought out loud. He raided the small refrigerator and managed to make cold pizza and ramen. He ate it quickly and decided to wait to see if anyone would come into the house.
Later that day, seven small people came inside and discovered the large green haired man, asleep sprawled out on all of their beds.
"What's this guy doing here?" the grumpy one, Jyabura asked.
"He's sleeping in my bed, that's sexual harassment," The dominant, Kalifa said.
"Maybe he just needed a place to stay," The always happy and always optimistic one, Kaku suggested.
"Shut up happy, we don't need your opinion," Jyabura snapped at him.
"You want me to kick your ass- I mean, It's okay Jyabura, I forgive you."
"Just get him out of the house so I can go to sleep," Lucci yawned.
"Jyabura wears a training bra, chapapa-a-aa-achoo!" Fukurou announced.
"I do not!"
"Yoi Yoi, why hasn't Spandam said anything yet?" The bashful one, Kumadori asked.
Spandam poked Zoro in the side and said nothing.
"That's because he's the dopy one," Kalifa answered.
Spandam twiddle his thumbs and smiled goofily.
Zoro awoke with a start and stared at the mini and out of character CP9. "Where am I?"
"You're asleep in my bed and you ate our food. Get out," Kalifa ordered
"Can't I stay here for just a bit longer?" Zoro asked.
"Alright," Kaku agreed.
"Shut up Kaku, you fool, he needs to get out," Jyabura snapped at him.
"I'll make food for you," Zoro offered.
"You know how to cook?" Lucci asked.
Zoro hesitated, "… Sure."
The CP9 minis discussed the issue. On one hand, they had a giant freeloader that is too big for the house, on the other, they had a free meal when they got home from a hard day of assassination.
"I guess you can stay for a couple of days, but you have to sleep outside," Kalifa agreed.
Back at the castle, Luffy walked into the throne room where Nami was awaiting his news. Luffy showed Nami a piece of paper that had a barely legible heart drawn on it.
"What is that piece of trash?" Nami questioned.
"It's Zoro's heart, can I have my meat now?" Luffy asked.
"No it's not, that's a poorly drawn heart… I think," Nami glowered at him.
"Yes it is," Luffy persisted.
"No it's not," Nami countered.
"Ask the mirror," Luffy suggested.
Nami rolled her eyes and pulled out a handy magical mini mirror, "Mirror mirror in my hand, who in the kingdom is the most grand?"
"Zoro is your majesty, he now resides in a forest cottage," The mirror informed.
Nami shot a glance at Luffy, "You didn't kill him?"
"Ya I did, see?" Luffy held up another picture of a poorly drawn Zoro with little X's for eyes drowning in quicksand.
Nami groaned, "Why do I always have to do things myself?"
Later that evening, Zoro was preparing a pot of more ramen, when there was a knock on the door. Zoro opened it up to reveal an ugly looking hunchback woman dressed in a suspicious black cloak.
"Ya, what do you need?" Zoro asked.
"I would like to sell you my apples," Nami explained.
"I don't need any," Zoro stated flatly and began to close the door.
"Wait, these are delicious apples, will you try a sample?" Nami offered a slice of a juicy green apple to him.
Hesitantly Zoro took a bite and instantly dropped to the floor.
Nami chuckled wickedly and made her escape back to her castle, but on the way she fell into a sand pit/ plot hole and sank.
That night, the CP9 ultra mini squad returned and discovered Zoro lying there.
"What are we going to do with him?" Lucci wondered aloud.
"We could just burry him," Jyabura suggested.
"Let's just put him outside and cover him with a sheet," Kalifa ordered. It took all of them to lift Zoro, but they managed to lay him on the wet grass behind the cottage and they wrapped him in a thin white sheet.
"Wait a second, was there a piece of an apple by him?" Kaku asked.
"There was a piece in his hand," Kalifa confirmed.
"I've heard this story before, this guy needs a kiss from a prince to wake him up," Kaku informed.
"Where did you hear that from?" Jyabura snickered.
"One of your fairy tale books," Kaku answered smugly.
Jyabura growled and gave Kaku a phone book. "Where are you going to get a prince from then?"
Kaku ran his finger down a list inside the P section. He showed Jyabura the book and pointed at a phone number: 1-800-GET-PRINCE.
In the rising sun, a prince rode valiantly on his steed toward the forest. Once he arrived, he hopped off his horse and knocked on the cottage's little door.
Fukurou answered, "Yes? Achoo…"
"I, Prince Sanji, from the kingdom of Retardia, have come to kiss the princess," Sanji announced.
"Well, technically, Zoro isn't a princess," Fukurou admitted.
"Is she a fair maiden in the need of my services?" Sanji asked.
"Why don't you just follow me…. Chapapa…." Fukurou led Sanji around the cottage and pulled the sheets back. Zoro laid there quietly, not disturbed since last night.
Sanji's eye widened in horror, "You expect me to kiss the shitty marimo?!"
"There isn't any other way to wake him up," Fukurou answered solemnly.
"I know what will get him up," Sanji muttered and gave Zoro a swift kick in the not-completely healed stitches across his abdomen.
Zoro jolted and groaned in pain, "What the hell was that for?"
"Glad your awake princess Marimo," Sanji said sarcastically.
Then they lived not so happily ever after. The end.
"Wait, what about my meat?" Luffy protested.
The End.
A/N: Because I got quite a bit to say... I'm going to momentarily steal Dandy Wonderous's A/N set up....
"Will I be paid?" Luffy asked. "You can have some meat when you get back," Nami offered. Luffy's mouth watered, "I'll do it!"
Yes I know Luffy wouldn't kill someone like that, so i figured he'd make a deal, don't do the job, and try to get the award.
"He's sleeping in my bed, that's sexual harassment," The dominant, Kalifa said.
The seven dwarves from disney, theres one named Doc, who seems to be the unofficial leader, so thats who Kalifa is. But I couldn't call her doc, so I just called her Dominant.
He raided the small refrigerator and managed to make cold pizza and ramen.
So I was typing most of this at school, and I turn to my friends (who don't have a clue what One Piece is) and asked "Quick, if a buff guy raided a fridge, what food would he eat?" and One of my friends said pizza and another said ramen, even thought ramen isn't kept in a fridge....
"That's because he's the dopy one," Kalifa answered.
XD I couldn't resist, and for the record, Lucci is sleepy and Fukurou is sneezy.
Nami chuckled wickedly and made her escape back to her castle, but on the way she fell into a sand pit/ plot hole and sank.
Look at the original, In Grimms's story, the wicked step mom falls into a sand pit and dies. thats it!
That night, the CP9 ultra mini squad returned and discovered Zoro lying there.
Super Mini CP9 hyper force go!
1-800-GET-PRINCE
Oh ya, I went there.
Hehe thanksfor reading! Reviews are rainbows and butterflys!
