Chapter 12 - Guilt

Jasper had drank human blood.

No-one spoke, they didn't know what to say. We just stood there.
I felt so sorry for Jasper. He must be feeling so guilty, and he was feeling everyone else's disappointment with his gift. I had to do something.

So walked over to him and gave him a hug, he just leaned down and rested his chin on my head.

After a few moments, Carlisle cleared his throat. I let go of Jasper and held his hand.

"Jasper, please explain to us what exactly happened"

Jasper stiffened and his face set like stone. He looked at his feet.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want to talk about it" He said.
"Why don't you remember it in your mind and I'll tell everyone?" Edward offered.
"No thank-you" Jasper muttered.

"Jasper, why didn't you tell one of us that you were struggling? We could have helped you" Edward asked.
"No-one else was struggling and I felt weak" Jasper admitted.
"You're not weak Jasper, it takes time to get used to it" Esme assured him.
"What happened anyway?" Rosalie snapped

Everyone turned to Edward, he was the mind reader.

"Jasper, they need to know.." He said. Jasper's head shot up and his eyes were full of fear "Would you like me to tell them?"
"No, I should be the one to tell them. But could you all just try not to judge me when you find out?"
"Of course" Everyone said.

I squeezed his hand and looked him in the face. He gave me a weak smile.

"Today at school, there was a girl. We'd never met her before because she's been on holiday. At lunch time, she walked past me and her scent hit me like a thousand bullets. It was

wonderful, the most mouth watering smell..." He stopped, ashamed.

"It's alright, carry on" I encouraged him.

"Any-way, the scent was amazing, but I thought of what I could do to everyone if I hunted her at that moment, and that made me snap out of it. I held my breath and made my way to

He paused for a moment. I knew this wasn't easy for him. I used my thumb to rub circles onto his hand, trying to soothe with Edward. But when we got there, the girl was sitting at the table in front of ours. For the whole lesson I held my breath and thought of things that just popped into my head"

"Why didn't you see what he was going to do?" Edward asked me.
"Because his decisions kept changing. Why didn't you read his mind and find out where he was going?"
"Because he kept trying to focus on something else"

Jasper continued his story.

"When the bell went, I didn't think. I ran out of the classroom as fast as I could, and went straight to my car. I followed her back to her house. When I got there, I knocked on her door and asked her for homework help. She showed me to the living room. Her parents weren't home so it was easy. I sank my teeth into her neck before she could even get her book out. That poor girl didn't stand a chance. I felt her emotions, fear, confusion, hurt, loss and terror. I'll never be able to forget..."

Everyone was to stunned to speak. What was there to say?

"Idiot!" Rosalie hissed. We all snapped our heads round to look at her."What? He is! We'll have to move again now! I was just getting settled!"
"Rosalie, this is very hard for Jasper. Please try and be a little sympathetic" Esme said.
"Sympathetic? He's ruined everything for me!"

How could she? All she ever thought about was herself. Did she even care what Jasper was going through?
Jasper let go of my hand and ran upstairs to his room, we heard the door slam followed by his tear-less sobs.

Everyone's burning eyes turned to glare at Rosalie.

"What?" She snapped.
"Rosalie go and apologize!" Esme shouted, pointing at the stairs.
"No! I haven't done anything wrong!"

She flicked her hair and walked into the living room, Emmett followed her.

Carlisle and Esme sighed. They looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry about Rosalie's behavior, you get used to it after a while" Carlisle's voice was soft and full of sadness.
"Why don't you go and see Jasper? He's probably very upset"

I nodded and started to walk up the stairs, but Carlisle grabbed my arm.

"Tell Jasper that we forgive him and we understand. Also, we need a family meeting as soon as possible"
"Sure" I replied.

I ran straight to Jasper's room and stopped when I reached the door. I could still hear him sobbing. I let myself in. He was sitting in the floor cross-legged with his face in his hands.

I walked up and sat in front of him. I gently pulled his hands from his face so I could see his eyes. He tried to look away but I put my hands either side of his face so he couldn't.
I looked into his eyes and saw red. Red human blood, but behind the red there was guilt, remorse, regret, self-hate and hurt.

My hands moved so they were behind his neck. I pulled him forward so his head rested on my shoulder and I let him sob. It was torture to see him so unhappy, it made my dead heart crack. I kissed his head and told him that it would be okay.

After what felt like hours, he sat up. He untangled my arms from his neck and held my hands in his. I lifted my hand to touch his cheek, he held it there.

"I hate seeing you in so much pain" I said, my voice breaking a little at the end. He sighed and looked down.
"I'm sorry, I regret it more than anything"
"It's okay, you don't have to talk about it"

We sat in silence for a few moments. Then I remembered something.

"Carlisle and Esme want a family meeting, shall we head downstairs?" He nodded and pecked my cheek before we left the room.

We walked downstairs to the dining room , hand-in-hand, to find everyone sitting around the table, waiting for us. We took our seats, still holding hands.
Rosalie looked up at Jasper and muttered "Sorry".

Carlisle cleared his throat ans started talking.

"As a family, we need to discuss what we are going to do"
"About what?" I asked, confused.

Carlisle looked a little awkward for a moment.

"Well, we don't know how this is going to affect us because the police will obviously investigate, and we're not sure if Jasper left any evidence"
"Would you like me to check if they come to us?" I asked.
"That would be helpful"

I looked forward and had a vision.

*The police were arriving at the house, guns at the ready, at-least five cars. They kicked the door in and pointed at guns in every direction. One of the policeman was talking to his comrade "Are you sure it's here?" he asked. The other one pulled out a piece of paper "Definitely, the drivers license we found at the scene of the crime belongs to Jasper Johnson and the address matches"*

I heard Edward gasp, having seen the vision.

"Yes, they'll come" I breathed.
"What did I leave?" Jasper asked.
"Your driver's license" I told him "What are we going to do Carlisle?"
"We'll have to relocate, move somewhere else"
"Again?" Rosalie whined.
"There's no other choice Rosalie" Esme said.
"We have two options. We can buy a new house and pretend to be a family again, or we could go into hiding, travel"

Everyone was silent. I didn't like the sound of travelling. I like going to school and pretending to be human and I'm sure Rosalie did too.

"Carlisle, is there no other option?" Emmett pleaded.
"I'm afraid not" He sighed.

I suddenly remembered something Emmett had said a few days ago, about a coven called The Denalis who lived in Alaska. Before I said anything, I scanned the future to see of it would work. When I was done, I smiled.

"Carlisle, why don't we go and stay in Alaska?" I asked. He looked stunned.
"What makes you say that?"
"Your friends, Kate, Irina, Tanya, Eleazar and Carmen. They would be more than happy to let us stay. I've seen it"
"What do you mean, Alice?" Esme was confused.
"When we explain our situation, they will be happy to let us stay with them until Jasper is stronger. Then we can move on"
"But...why?" Rosalie asked.
"Because we can stay there as long as we like, we could still go to school, we can move as soon as we're ready and it's better than living without a house"

Everyone thought about it. Edward looked at me and smiled. He mouthed the words "Good Idea". I smiled back and said thank-you in my mind.

"I think it's a good idea" Jasper said. I mouthed a thank-you at him.
"I agree" said Rosalie.
"Me too" Emmett said.
"I'm in" Edward agreed.

Esme and Carlisle stared at each-other for a moment, before nodding.

"All right, we can only take three cars. Alice and Jasper will take Jasper's, Emmett and Rosalie will take Rosalie's, Me, Edward and Esme will take mine"
"How long do we have before the police come Alice?" Esme asked.
"We only have half and hour"
"Pack what you want to take with you and be ready to leave in twenty minutes"


"Rosalie? Are you ready yet? We've only got ten minutes"
"Nearly done, only my shoes left"

We were all waiting at the bottom of the stairs, ready to go. All of us except for Rosalie.

"I swear she'll never fit all her bags into the car" Emmett muttered.
"Wanna bet?" I challenged him. He raised his eye brows.
"How much?" I already knew that Rosalie would be able to fit everything into her car, so I was going to win.
"Thirty Dollars" He shook my hand.
"You're on" He smirked at me "You're gonna loose little sis"
"Emmett, you do realize that I know who will win, right?" The smirk was wiped away and replaced with shock and realization.

Carlisle and Esme burst out laughing and I couldn't help but join in.

While we were all laughing, Edward made his way upstairs.

I followed him, sensing that he needed someone to talk to.

When I got to his room, he was playing his piano. He'd played before. he was an extremely talented musician. But something was off today.

"You don't want to leave it do you?" I guessed.
"No, it's being my companion for years. It feels like I'm leaving a part of my soul behind"
"You'll get another one" I pointed out.
"It won't be the same" He sighed.

When he was finished the song he as playing, he gently put the key guard down and covered the piano in a giant cloth. He stroked it before leaving the room.

We joined everyone else in the hallway, waiting for Rosalie.

"Rosalie, we've got five minutes!" I screamed.
"I'm done" She said, appearing at the top of the stairs with about seven suitcases, thirty shoe boxes and a handbag. We all stared at her with our mouths open.
"What? I like my clothes and shoes"

We walked out of the front door ans made our way to the cars we were taking.

I was going with Jasper in his car, he was driving. When we were buckled in I handed him a piece of paper.

"What's this?" He asked.
"Directions to the airport, and our ticket details" While we were packing, Edward had rung up and booked tickets.

I heard Carlisle's voice ring through the garage.

"Okay, everyone. Meet up at the airport. We've all got first class tickets so we should be sitting near each-other on the plane. We've organised the cars to be shipped over on the same flight. Alice, will it get sunny?"

I checked the weather forecast.

"Nope, lots of rain"
"That's good. See you all in a couple of hours"

Carlisle, Esme and Edward left first, then me and Jasper, followed by Rosalie and Emmett.

Half way down the road, I rolled down my window and looked behind me.

"Emmett, you owe me thirty dollars"