Minerva?

What?

I have a personal question for you.

In that case, go away.

Personal on my part.

Minerva?

What are you doing?

Huh.

*sigh* What's you question? I was bracing myself for the horror I'm about to face.

How do you make chest hair grow?

Minerva?

Sorry. I do believe I just passed out from laughing.

Why?

Of all the disgusting questions you could've asked, you ask that?

Uh… yeah.

I thought everyone knew this.

Well, apparently I'm different from everyone.

Obviously. To grow chest hair… *drumroll*

Yes… YES?

You must eat…

Lemon Drops? Ginger Newts? Cockroach Clusters? WHAT?!

BURNT TOAST!

Ee-gasp!

Yup.

Then I shall go without.

Wow. How you managed to go this long without a single hair is and always be a mystery. Or, you could just look at Victoria's Secret ads.

What's Victoria's Secret?

Um… I have to go.

What is it?

Um… go ask one of the students. Preferably a Muggle-born.

10 MINUTES LATER…

Ew…

What?

Victoria's Secret.

I tried to protect your childhood innocence.

Ew…

Hey. Not my fault.

Damn my curiosity. But at least it can't kill me.

Why not?

CAUSE CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT!

Not funny.

MINERVA!

What? *flutters eyelashes*

Ew…

What happened?

Victoria's Secret. All. Over. My. Walls.

And why are you telling me this?

CAUSE MY CHEST IS COVERED IN HAIR!

Ew…