(A/N: This probably is the dirtiest chapter I will ever write. Honestly. The rating truly applies for this chapter. My mind is a scary place. Once again, watch out. You have been warned. R&R!)
Minerva?
Huh?
I'm bored.
And how is that my problem?
Entertain me.
I'm sorry, my pole dancing is a little out of practice.
Oh. What about just stripping?
I haven't done that in ages. Wait, are we actually having this conversation?
It would seem so.
Huh. That's really creepy.
Yeah.
So… I'm gonna go now.
Ok.
…
…
…
…
God, I'm bored out of my mind.
Join the club.
Should we go get Hagrid wasted?
Naw. I think Rosmerta is still cleaning up from the last time we did that.
Oh. Want to go piss Severus off?
Well that's a healthy way to pass the time.
Severus?
Severus?
Yes, it is me.
What are you doing here?
I'm bored shitless.
So, you're sitting on the toilet while messaging us?
Uh… maybe?
Ew… Have you washed your hands lately?
Uh… no not really.
*sterilizes hands*
What she did.
So, now that I have washed my hands, what happened when Hagrid got wasted?
Um… you really don't want to know.
Even I don't know.
Be happy you don't. I was there and was puking for the next week whenever I thought of it.
WHAT HAPPENED??
You're gonna regret asking…
Just tell me.
Your funeral. He ejaculated all over.
EW…
EW…
I told you. *pukes into trash can*
*pukes into trash can*
*pukes into toilet*
(All) EW…
Note to self: LISTEN TO MINERVA!
Bought time you cottoned on.
I'm going to go permanently curse someone now.
Why?
I just ruined a perfectly good bottle of Felix Felicious by puking into it.
Ew…
Ew…
You have no idea. It looks like liquefied shit now.
*pukes into same trash can*
*pukes on Fawkes*
(All) POOR FAWKES!
Oh. He officially hates me now.
What clued you in?
He just shit all over my bed.
So now you and Minerva have to go to her rooms now?
Pervert.
YOU DON'T DENY IT?!
Well… *rubs back of neck*
Minerva and I play quite a bit of chess late at night. I always come out with the upper hand…
EW… BAD IMAGES! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! *bangs head against wall*
Albus, I think we just killed him.
Probably.
You do realize I just got the best blackmail material ever, right?
YOU WOULDN'T DARE!
He would.
Nice to know someone has faith in me.
What do you want?
You do realize how much you sound like a slut right now, right?
Shut it.
She's MY slut. Back off.
Albus, if you want to live, shut up.
Technically, you should be asking me to stop writing. I'm not making any noise.
And of course Minerva would know if you made noise.
Shut it. Your innuendos suck.
And you would know.
Minerva! I thought you were my slut!
I am. Man-whore over there is just being a perverted asshole.
Oh. Okay.
So now are you going to have apology-sex?
My rooms. Be there in 10 minutes.
Albus!
FOR FREE?!
Albus, if you respond I will castrate you with a wooden spoon.
Or you could just use your teeth.
Severus…
Oo. A growler.
I'm leaving now.
For Albus's rooms?
…
…
Albus, is she there?
Mhm… Albus.
EW! EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *burns eyes and cuts off ears*
Sucker.
That's what she said.
