Big, long author's note at the end, so I'll keep this short and sweet.
Thank you to ReadingRobyn for all your hard work as a beta, you're the best.
Everything you recognize belongs to Miss J.K. Rowling.

Read&Review Please&Thanks
.:x:.

Ginny sat in the Hog's Head refusing to talk to anyone. She knew that she was mostly safe in the bar, but more importantly she knew that few people who would come in would recognize her. The only students from Hogwarts that were regulars to the notoriously grungy pub were the members to the "alternative" crowd at the school. They were the students who would listen to music that screamed and would match their House colors with shades that purposely crashed. The alternative crowd wore their hair in their face and would always be found in the corner of the pub doing shot after shot of Ice Liqueur, the alcoholic opposite of Firewhiskey.

Ginny turned over another shot glass after downing the liquid and shuddered. No one bothered asking her how old she was; the bartender just understood her silent desperation and kept passing shots of mystery liquor to her silently. Ginny hugged her coat around her shoulders tightly and looked down at the six empty tumblers that were staring back at her. She squeezed her eyes shut quickly when she thought she saw Lela's grey eyes glaring at her from the reflection in the glass.

You can't get away from me, Ginny Weasley, just accept it.

"Shut up...shut up…" Ginny muttered. She felt her cheeks flush when she realized the bartender had heard her pleas to no one.

He placed another shot in front of her and wiped his grimy hands on the apron he wore.

"Take enough of 'em and the voices'll stop," he said in a gruff but sincerely kind tone. "Prolly not good fer a girl like ya, but I ain't gonna be the one to try an' stop ya."

She managed to give him a small smile before tossing the alcohol back. It didn't burn on the way down like she expected, but she could feel it slide down in an eerily greasy way. It was almost as if she'd swallowed oil, oil that tasted like cinnamon mixed with metal.

"What have you been giving me?" she managed to cough out at him.

"Called Sag, dunno where from," he put two more shots in front of her and walked into the back room.

Ginny stared at the silvery liquid and shook her head as Lela's voice came back into her ears.

Take them; I'm not going away just because you're drinking. I told you I wouldn't leave Ginny, and I fully intend on keeping that promise.

Ginny was shaking her head so furiously now she didn't notice when the boy slid onto the stool next to her. She didn't see him when he leaned his elbows against the bar in order to stare at her more comfortably. She was not aware of his presence until he put a hand on her shoulder and she jumped away.

"What the hell," she spat out as her heartbeat pounded in her ears.

The boy quickly swallowed a laugh. He had dark brown eyes that were still staring intently at Ginny; they were so dark they were almost black. His hair was black and messy, but the kind of messy that clearly had been made to look that way. His skin was a creamy white and his lips were a very light pink. He was very attractive, and the devious smile that was on his face showed that he obviously knew it.

Ginny couldn't help but notice the green and silver tie hiding behind his black sweater vest. The boy who was wearing cut up fishnet stockings as gloves underneath his colored shirt was a Slytherin.

"I just wanted to know if you needed any help with those shots," he said in a strangely low voice. She had expected someone who clearly spent so much time concerning themselves with how they looked to speak more femininely.

She shook her head, nervously tucking her hair behind her ears. "No, I'm fine. I can handle them."

He gave another sly, crooked smile that only went on the right side of his face. "Well it seemed like you were giving an adamant no to them."

Ginny instantly stared at the floor and began to wring her hands, forcing her nails to scratch at her wrist.

"I wasn't saying no to them…I was…"

"It's okay; everyone in here is a little crazy. Nothing to be ashamed of."

She looked back at the boy were narrowed eyes. "I'm not crazy."

He laughed. The sound of it sent chills down her spine.

"I'm not," she repeated in a low, suddenly steady voice.

He shrugged and tossed back one of her shots easily and handed her the empty glass. "Darling, we're not judging, just flirting. But if the voices in your head aren't company enough, feel free to join us over there."

With that he walked away to a table where two other boys were sitting. The other two she knew, they were Ravenclaw twins in her grade. She couldn't remember their names exactly but she knew they were something like Lyle or Luke. They were both infamous for be able to cheat on exams without ever being caught and for the fact that they were orphaned when their werewolf father attacked their mother. They were the poster children for daddy issues.

Maybe being with people who had bigger problems than her was just what she needed.

She tossed back the remaining shot of Sag and stood, smoothing the wrinkles out of her jeans. She didn't know why she felt compelled too, but she followed the mystifying boy over to the table. Perhaps it was because she was starting to feel dizzy and lightheaded from the liquor, but she needed another distraction. Besides, the boy with the dark, chocolate eyes was right, the voice (now this would stay voice because she knows it's only one.) in her head was definitely not company enough.

"We're going to need a lot more to drink," she said as she plopped down in the empty chair and she saw the boy smile.

"I'm Dodger," he said as he twisted the metal spike that was in his earlobe. "Those are Leaf and Lucas."

The twins nodded at her and each of them put a shot in front of her.

"Keep up, Weasley," one of them said, though she wasn't sure which one he was.

She ran her hands through her hair and tossed both of them back. She figured it wouldn't be a problem. All the liquor in the world couldn't numb Ginny enough from the terrible feeling of being left behind by Harry and for finally realized she was completely crazy.

Ginny awoke with a start. She sat up straight in bed until she became aware of her situation and realized the most terrible feeling for a girl to realize.

She was naked, and did not remember falling asleep.

She quickly recoiled against the headboard of the unfamiliar bed and wrapped the sheet around her torso. She still felt tingly from the liquor, but no longer was warm. She was freezing and scared.

Good job, Ginny. I'm so proud of you for finally slutting it up.

She silently cursed Lela for making her more embarrassed about her circumstances. She looked over and saw Dodger sleeping soundly. The hazy memories of the previous hours came rushing back to Ginny even though she didn't need them to know what had happened. She grabbed her hair and absentmindedly pulled it into a knot on the back of her head, pushing the guilt from her mind and searched the floor for her pants.

They're by the door, stupid. Remember, you two didn't get far.

"Lela, no one asked you," she snapped as she pulled her jeans on. She quickly hissed at herself for being so noisy and shut her mouth. Dodger barely flinched.

Ginny pulled her shirt over her head and stuffed her bra her pocket. She tiptoed around the room and grabbed her sweater and shoes before exiting the room as quickly and quietly as she could. Something told her Dodger would barely remember her face, much less her name. Somehow it made it easier to leave and easier to not feel bad about what had happened.

Maybe if he didn't remember, then it didn't happen.

Whether it was the alcohol or something else, Ginny didn't regret it. As she pushed through the portrait hole and made her way down the unfamiliar hallway from the Slytherin quarters, she didn't feel like she owed anyone an apology or felt like she was any different. She just felt empty, and that wasn't any different then when she had gone into the Hog's Head in the first place.

Being with Dodger didn't make her feel better, but it didn't make her feel worse though either. It was just a little reminder than if Harry could do what he wanted, so could she. It was a reminder, a sort of solidification in Ginny's mind that even though she felt like she was falling apart, she still had at least an ounce of control over what she did.

If she didn't have choice, she had nothing.

Ginny walked around the hallways, not even trying to be quiet. For some reason she was not worried about the consequences of being caught out of her room after hours, stinking like a bar no less. She didn't feel or care about anything, it was oddly liberating.

It's just you and me. I, for one, am proud of you for finally doing something other than pining for Potter.

Ginny couldn't help but giggle at Lela. Dodger had been wrong; the voice in her head was really all the company she needed.

"Ginevra Weasley!"

Ginny turned around slowly to face Professor McGonagall. She pushed back a giggle, though she had no idea where it had come from. Running into the head of her house at three in the morning while she was still drunk was no laughing matter, but the urge to snigger kept coming.

"What on earth are you doing out of bed? And what is that smell?"

McGonagall's nose twitched and her eyes widen when she recognized the burning smell of Firewhiskey.

"Miss Weasley…have you been drinking?"

Ginny nodded and shrugged. "Firewhiskey and Sag. Sorry Minerva, it won't happen again."

Professor McGonagall's mouth pressed into that thin line that meant she was truly angry. "Miss Weasley at this school we address our superiors with respect, which means you are to call me Professor McGonagall. Now, given what you've been through lately I'm willing to excuse this little mishap and not deduct points if you head straight to bed. We will, however, be discussing detentions in the morning, after you've slept this off."

A giggle made its way past Ginny's lips and she clapped a hand over her mouth as she continued to laugh. McGonagall's pursed mouth formed even thinner lines which, for whatever reason, made Ginny laugh harder. She laughed until her sides hurt while her head of house just stared at her. She laughed until the remaining air started to become loud, painful hiccups, which just made her chuckle even harder than before.

"I don't care, do whatever you want. I'm fine, really, I'm fine," Ginny managed to say between her giggles and hiccups. "There's apparently nothing I can do that will bother me, nothing I can say that will make anyone listen. I can do whoever and whatever I want and I still feel like a bloody statue, isn't that funny? So Minerva, do whatever you want to. Because I really don't give a damn."

And then Ginny puked all over the floor.

(A/N: So, why write a high T drunken chapter for our heroine? I felt this chapter may need a little bit of explanation, so here it is.

As a girl, I'm sure many of you can relate to this, you take a really bad break-up ten times harder than you would usually expect to. I think pretty much every girl who has had her heartbroken can relate to feeling out of control, hysterical, crazy, wild, pathetic, or all of those at the same time. And when those emotions take over there really is no telling what you'll do.

I'm sorry if the concept of having a one night stand offends anyone, but I know I'm not the first person who went out and got smashed and screwed some guy she barely knew to try and escape from loving an ex, and I'm not going to be the last to do. I can relate to it and hopefully others can to, whether they've done it or not. I hope some can relate to the feelings in this section.

My Ginny is not a Mary-Sue, and she is not two dimensional. She makes mistakes. I also did not want to keep writing whiny "I'm so scared" Ginny. Because after a while, you stop being scared of being crazy and just accept and roll with it. This chapter is Ginny moving past depression and onto acceptance, in a way. She's still scared, lonely, and sad, but now she's willing to live with feeling that way.

PS: I listened to Lady Gaga's song "Dance in the Dark" on repeat while writing this, so maybe that will help.)