A/N: This one is a bit longer than the last couple of chapters. I just couldn't get around the end of it without making it go on for a little while longer. I hope you enjoy it, and I would love to hear what you have to say!

Thanks,

Chaos.

Chapter Eight

Hermione

He left me at the shop by myself, and I was somewhat grateful for that. He was so obnoxious, being nice and making me laugh one moment before insulting me the next. He was just… so confusing. I didn't want to have to deal with that, not after the nightmares I had the night before. I hated waking up in tears from things I could never really remember. They were the worst kinds of nightmares- the ones where you don't know what you should be afraid of...

"Did that boy do something? He seemed to rush out of here pretty quickly," she said when she saw me.

"Nope. He's always like that. He never really liked me all that much. I think having to work with me this year is killing him."

"Stupid boys. He'll learn. Girls don't have cooties, you know."

I laughed. "I know. It's more an issue of… of blood status really."

"Oh, is he that Malfoy? Those hoity-toity purebloods?"

"Yeah, he's one of them. It happens, I guess. But enough about him! I need a dress for this stupid ball."

"Oh? You don't want to go?"

"Not really. We're celebrating when so many have died. I know they wouldn't want us to be sad, but this is a little extreme."

"No, sweetheart, it's not. You should never mourn someone, you should rejoice in the memories you have. This is just what the school needs, something to lift the heavy hearts of all the students," the woman said with a sigh. She knew that I was pretty darn close to a lost cause when it came to this. "But about your dress… What are you looking for? Any ideas?"

"Well, no, not really. I want something nice. It's a masquerade, which is probably my favorite thing in the world, and the colors are black and silver, so I'd like them with a pop of color. Maybe purple or something like that. I just want something that looks good. If I have to go, I may as well go all out."

"Okay. Well, let me sketch something up for you and take your measurements. This is for Halloween, right? So I'll have plenty of time?"

"Yeah. Just don't go overboard. I don't need a full princess skirt or anything. "

"Don't worry, I think I have just the thing."

A few minutes passed as I wandered her store. She sold all sorts of clothes, from school robes to dress robes to Muggle dresses. It was nice to see the variety. I always loved coming to this place for whatever it was I needed.

"Done," she said. "Come take a look."

I sighed happily when I walked over the counter and saw the image. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. "Oh, you did it again. I think this will be perfect. Do you think you could find a mask to match it?"

"Do I think I could find a mask to match… Dearie, what do you take me for? Of course. Now, let's take your measurements so I can send you on your merry way. I have an appointment in 20 minutes."

October approached much too quickly. I had smoothed things over with Harry, Ron, and Ginny. I hated fighting with them, but they had to learn to not make my living conditions any worse than they had to be. I decided I would just meet them in the Gryffindor common room if we ever wanted to hang out.

I was also impressed that, until the day after our first meeting with the prefects, that the word about the dance didn't get out. I knew there were only a few of us who knew, but stranger things have happened. I was just happy Malfoy and I were able to get the prefects under control. They had hated the idea of working together on this project- or I should say that the Gryffindors and Slytherins hated the idea- so they argued for the first 20 minutes until I flipped out on them, apparently instilling enough fear in them that they shut up for us to explain the rest of what would happen. By the end, they were all resigned to the idea that this might actually be fun, so they should stop acting like it was the worst thing that would ever happen to them. We were able to settle on a date for the trip to Hogsmead, delegate tasks to each of the houses, and make plans on when to meet so we could decorate the Great Hall before the dance actually began. I was impressed.

As they all filed out of our dorm, I stretched and went out to the kitchen to put water on for some tea. I made a habit out of asking if Malfoy wanted any, and it seemed to annoy him. He always grumbled a yes, though.

"Do you think we're actually going to be able to pull this off?" he asked suddenly.

"Well, I don't think they would have given us the task if they thought we wouldn't. I know they do things a bit… strangely… But they are good judges in character."

"Working with all those people… It's going to be rough."

"Well, the way I see it, you can handle Slytherin and the half of each Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw that associate with your house, while I can handle the Gryffindors and the other half of each of those houses who- shall we say- don't get along with Slytherin so well. If we stick to it like that, then we should be okay."

"That's… that's actually a good strategy."

"We should also agree that if the people doing the tasks we assign them misbehave, the other should step in and reinforce the message as well. We'll really have to do that with the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws since our own houses shouldn't have an issue listening to us."

"When did you get so good at planning strategies? It's a little unnerving."

I hesitated before finally pouring water into the tea cups and speaking, "I was the one who planned the details of our expedition into finding the Horcruxes that Voldemort used. I plotted every step, and with that, came the need to develop strategy. Ron… he just barged head first into everything, and Harry let emotion cloud his judgment far too much. I was the only levelheaded one out of the bunch. Someone had to take responsibility."

I brought the tea over to the table in the common room like I always did and sat on the couch across from him while I let my tea cool a bit. He was studying me for some reason, and I felt myself growing anxious.

"Why did you go with them? I never understood. You had the most to lose out of either of them, aside from Potter, of course. Your parents were Muggles, so you probably could've escaped to somewhere. Maybe to Australia, where you sent them. Why did you decide to go?"

I was taken aback again. I sighed and reached for my tea. It was still too hot, but the pain was nothing compared to my thoughts when I took the first sip. "How can I explain it? They're my friends, Harry and Ron, and I didn't want to abandon them to this mission. Harry could have figured things out easily enough, he's not stupid, and with Ron there, they would have been fine. I might have even saved them some complications if I had decided to stay back. But there's more to it than that… When I discovered I was a witch, I had never been happier in my life. I didn't realize, until the first time you called me a Mudblood, that they might have been something wrong with me. I was a blissfully ignorant child before that moment." He squirmed as I said that, but I pushed on. "I pushed myself even harder to prove that I was worthy of my spot at Hogwarts. No matter how many perfect scores I got, I still wasn't satisfied. I was disgusted my parentage as you seemed to be.

"When I saw the extent of Voldemort's hatred of Muggle-borns, when I learned of his heritage, I realized he probably had just as much resentment as I did, just as much to prove as I did; he just went mad under all that pressure. I wasn't going to lash out, nor was I going to retreat. I wanted to prove that you could be good and stand up to all of this. I wanted to prove that I was stronger than the Dark Lord because I hadn't given in to those self-destructive emotions. I wanted to protect my friends, save my family, and face down the man who told me that I couldn't.

"So I did, and sometimes I wish I hadn't. When I think back, when the nightmares are too much to bear, I wish I had someone erase my memory as well. I wish I had gone to that beach in Australia with my parents. But I didn't, and I realize how many lives I helped save, and it makes it just a little easier to deal with those memories."

I finished the rest of my tea and stood before he could speak.

"I'm going to go shower and head to bed. We have that test in potions tomorrow, and I do hope you studied. I don't want my grade to suffer because of you."

With that I walked away and into my dorm, not quite sure why I told him all of that when I hadn't even confided it to Harry or Ron or even Ginny. I felt like I would regret it in the morning, but at that moment, the hot lavender scented water erased all the walls I had put up. I leaned against the wall of the shower and cried until there were no more tears left to shed.