Chapter Fourteen

Hermione

"Can you please tell me what the bloody hell you were thinking? You do realize that's Malfoy, right? You know, the Death Eater?" It was Harry who said that, and I found myself wincing at his words.

I knew telling them was a bad idea. I knew they would react like this. Somehow, I still ended up by the lake, pulling my sweater closer to my body to keep more than the November chill out of my bones. They were reacting precisely like the logical side of me assumed they would.

"You won't let me explain-" I tried, futilely, because Ron simply plowed over my words.

"You've obviously lost your marbles, or he's brainwashed you, or something. This isn't the Hermione we knew, traipsing about with Malfoy."

"Ron's right, 'Mione. Are you sure you're not just lashing out? You did go through a lot this summer…"

I don't know if it was being lectured by a girl who was younger than me or what she was throwing in my face, but I really did lose it for a minute.

"You know nothing about him. Nothing! You know what I realized last night? He's faced just as much as any of us. He was in the war too. He saw just as much bloodshed as we did. He lost family. And for what? Nothing. He didn't get a damned thing out of it. He was a child, and last night, I saw he still has that inside of him. He isn't a bad person; he's a victim of circumstance, and I will not sit here and listen to you say all these terrible things about him when I'm pretty sure he's treated me better in the last 24 hours than any of you have in the entire time I've known you!"

Harry was first to break the stunned silence, "You… You really like him, don't you?"

My shoulders slumped, "Gods, Harry… I think I love him."

"Oh… 'Mione…" Harry said as he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Wh-What? What is this? You're showing her sympathy? She's obviously delusional, Harry. You can't side with her on this!" Ron yelled. I was getting really tired of his voice.

"Ron, she deserves to be happy. Just because we don't like the bloke-"

"He's not just some bloke Harry! He's a Death Eater!"

They went back and forth like that for a minute or two before my vision began to swim. I shook my head and raised my voice again, determined to not let them stress me out.

"Just shut up, all of you. I am with Draco Malfoy. I do not know where it is going, I don't know if there's even a label on us yet, but I do know I love him. You can go quarrel inside, because right now, I just want to be alone."

"You have no right-!" Ron began but Harry grabbed his arm, shutting him up, and dragged him (almost literally) back up to the school. Ginny was the only one who looked back, shooting me a troubled look, before running to help Harry.

I sat on the edge of the water, looking out as the thestrals did their lap over the water. Being able to see them, since it took actually witnessing a death, brought back so many unwanted memories. I wondered how many other students here could see them, and I began to weep for the loss of innocence.

That was how Draco found me, however long later. The tears had stopped, but I could feel the salt trails they left behind. He sat next to me, saying nothing, and put his arm around my shoulders.

"You want to talk about it?" he whispered quietly after a moment.

"I don't know. I just… I just don't know."

"Well, I'm here if you need to vent."

I don't know what possessed me to say it, but before I knew it…

"You know, it was your aunt, Bellatrix, that did all of that to me, the one who left all those scars…"

He stiffened. "No, I didn't know that."

"Yeah. We had just found the fifth horcrux, and a group of Death Eaters caught us. They brought us back to your house, the Malfoy Manor, and she was waiting there for us. She separated me from the boys since they weren't giving up any information. I was the collateral damage. The first time she used the Cruciatus curse on me, I screamed, the second and third times as well. The fourth… I didn't have anything left in me to scream. That went for the fifth and sixth times as well. That's when she gave up and tossed me in a cell. The next time she brought me out, she began to cut me. There was magic behind it, that's why I have all those scars. I didn't give in, though. I couldn't. Too much was riding on it.

"I've used my… strength to help me reconcile the things that happened to me, but every time I think back to that final night, or what I remember of it, I also remember the few weeks afterward when I was barely human. I couldn't eat, I couldn't speak, I had to be drugged so I'd sleep… It was hell.

"But I got over the worst of it, and yet Ginny told me she thinks I'm just lashing out because of everything I faced. That I'm throwing some sort of tantrum like a little child would. I know, somewhere, that she's wrong, but there's also some part of me that wonders if she might be right."

He was quiet for a few minutes, taking everything in, I guessed, before he turned my face so I was looking at him. "Hermione, I believe that you are a very strong woman. I feel like you can make rational decisions, all on your own, and I have no doubt that you are in a perfect state of mental health. I saw you laugh, and smile, and sleep soundly. I know that you still hold pain inside of you, but you're beyond strong enough to deal with it. If you have any doubts, any at all, I will give you the time to come to those conclusions on your own. I will be here waiting, but I'd understand."

I touched his face, almost not believing he was still there with me after everything, and kissed him. Somewhere, in the deepest, darkest parts of my soul, I felt something starting to heal.