Better than myself Part 4
(Sequel to As a Man)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm not making any money, and all the wonderful characters belong to the lovely JE. But if I could rent to own my very own Ranger, I would be very happy.
Stephanie's POV
I am so angry and hurt; I am unsure how to react. I am taking my time getting to the bonds office, I am afraid that it will be the last time I walk in there. I thought that Connie and Lula were my friends. Part of me just wants to walk in there and start screaming at them, how dare they spread lies, they really no nothing of my relationship with Ranger. I guess there was a part of me that didn't trust them because they never knew the depth of my feelings for him, never really knew what was going on with us. There were some things that were so special; I just wanted to keep to myself. It is good that I did, because it would be all over the 'Burg by now.
I stop at the Tasty Pastry and pick up a dozen Boston Crème's (for old times' sake), I think I am just going to go in there and play it by ear. I want to see how they react to me, before I react to them. But I will not leave without telling them what I know and how I feel. I cannot live in denial anymore. No matter how much I would rather just pretend I don't know.
I walk into the office and Lula grabs the box without speaking, she looks as if she has been crying. Probably over Tank, but maybe she should have thought about that before she opened her mouth about his best friend. I sit next to her on the couch and just wait for her to start talking, the one thing I know about Lula, give her some food and she will spill her guts. Now I am not sure how much she told me was truth.
"Tank and I broke up last night. He said he wasn't sure he knew me at all and wasn't sure he wanted to know me anymore."
She starts sniffling, like she is trying to hold it together. I pat her hand and ask her why, she said that he overheard a private conversation and overreacted. "Lula, Tank doesn't usually react, much less overreact, maybe I can help."
I wonder if she is going to tell me what she said. She says that he overheard them (probably meaning her and Connie) relating what Joe has been saying about me around town, and because no one has seen me for a few days that people are believing what is being said. I look over at Connie and she looks away quickly.
Is that guilt I saw?
"What are they saying; it can't be any worse than usual? I haven't spoken to Joe in a little bit, so he doesn't know what is going on with me, he hasn't even bother to call and check on me, no one has."
Lula goes on to say, that Joe has been telling anyone who would listen that Rangemen is using me for sex, because no respectable woman would sleep with them (bullshit, they are all gorgeous). That sex was my payment for everything Ranger has done for me and it has been going on for the entire time we have known each other.
I am starting to get pissed again; I know Joe has said some horrible things about me, but what about what they said.
"That is funny; I heard from TANK, that you and Connie were also saying that I was Rangeman's whore. That Ranger couldn't possibly want to be with me, because I was not "experienced" enough for him and he is just using me! That is why Tank broke up with you, because you made it sound that Ranger was passing his "woman" to all of his friends and I couldn't measure up in bed."
I am trying to hold back and not just start screaming, I think I am doing it, but just barely.
Lula says, "We didn't really start anything as much as we added to the story that Joe was already spinning. You know how gossip is, the person telling it is like a celebrity for a bit. We didn't really mean anything by it."
Is she trying to justify her part in making Ranger look like a fool and ruining my reputation?
"Oh, so you wanted to be a fucking celebrity, by dragging our names thru the mud! Now all of Trenton thinks they know the truth, because it came from YOU! So, you think it is good that I am playing the role of the whore? I wouldn't want to take the title from the actual whore, now would I? I thought we were friends Lula? I only ever wanted to help you, when everyone else said that they would not bother with a Stark street 'ho. That a 'ho never forgets their hustle. Is that what you did Lula? Did you hustle me? Did you?"
I guess my yelling brought Vinnie out of his office, he is standing there looking like I have grown and extra head. "Steph, you need to stop yelling."
"What? Stop yelling, you couldn't stand up for me, not once. You just let them talk about me, like we aren't family. Thanks Vinnie, I am done with you and this place. And when Ranger returns I will make sure to talk to him and have him reconsider his association with you. As a man of honor, he stands up for those he considers family."
Connie starts speaking now, "Rangemen, men of honor, bullshit Steph and you know it. Ranger is a mercenary, willing to kill anyone for the highest price. And don't think those that he works with are much better. I know all about the kind of "military" work they are involved in. The only reason Ranger helped you is because he owed something to me. I know you are doing something, I know that men like that never do anything without some form of payment. He gives you cars, helps you with your skips, and sends out search parties for you, all because of your personality? Yeah, because people really work that way. What are you giving him Steph? A man like that wouldn't want someone like you without connections in the city. Ranger is a man who is always planning and looking towards the future, you cannot help him in any way. He turned me down; I am very well connected and could help him move forward in this city. You can do nothing for him, nothing, but sex."
Oh, so that is it, she tried to get with Ranger and was turned down flat.
"Connie, most men don't want to be with a woman who has more facial hair than they do, for starters. Maybe no one would help YOU without you doing something for them. People are not just nice to me because they are scared of the "family" they are nice to me because they chose to be."
I take a deep breath and go to walk out the door but Lula steps in front of it. I want to stun her and just walk over her body, but she starts to speak.
"You think that everything you do has no penalty because Ranger will drop everything for you. But he also makes Tank drop everything for you too. I am left in the cold many times because of your stupid actions. Everyone puts Stephanie Plum first, everyone is always talking about how brave the "Bombshell Bounty Hunter" is. I think you are starting to believe your own hype, you think you don't know any explanations for your actions to anyone. You disappear when you want and everyone is waiting for you, with hugs and fucking kisses. You jerk Morelli and Ranger around and no one calls you on it. The real world does not work that way, you are not the center of the universe and I was tired of being behind you! I thought if I took you and the great Manoso, down a peg, make them doubt what they are seeing when they look at the star-crossed lovers. Then maybe Tank would be noticed for the great man he is, and I would be seen as more than your sidekick."
I am done with this; I calmly look at her and say, "You obviously do not know Tank at all, to think that he wants to be noticed for anything he does. Tank and I are so much alike, I don't want all of the attention that I get and he doesn't want any attention either. I do see you for who you are, though, Lula, a jealous, whore. There isn't anything else for me to see here."
I walk out of the bonds office and into my car driving away from the bonds office; I only get so far before I start crying so hard I have to pull over.
I have lost some of the people who I depended on in my life; it is good to know what they really think of me. I know this is only the beginning of the people I will lose in the next month and a half. The weight of that knowledge is almost crushing. The only thing that I know is that what is waiting for me when this is all over is a great future, with the love of my life. But will we be able to have that future in New Jersey?
A/N: I thought about this confrontation in many different ways and from many different views. I think that this is the one that worked out the best. Thanks for everyone who has left me feedback, it is much appreciated.
