Immortal Undeath

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis.

Chapter 15: Satana's Wedding

Satana was staring at herself in the wedding dress she had selected. While many brides would select a white dress for the big day, the red-headed half-demoness had selected one that was sure to make her the center of attention; red. And, it was not just any ordinary red, but the color of blood.

There was a lot of planning into this wedding, and, much to the sorceress' surprise, Farrah had offered to be the maid of honor for the ceremony and help Satana with her big day. Satana looked in the mirror,

"Are you sure this is a good look for me?"

Her fiery locks of hair were done in a more traditional way; instead of red and frazzled like her hair normally was, her hair was refined and her eyes flashed brilliantly. The were-cat, dressed in a more demure light blue dress, looked at her former rival,

"I don't know, I'm not the one getting married."

Satana smirked,

"I can guess the reason why you're doing this; you want to enjoy the fact that I'm getting hitched with Deadpool and not your man."

She laughed,
"It must really burn you up that I'm getting married before you are."

The lioness had a dark look on her face as she said simply,

"I practically own Leon anyway. With him and my cubs, we're a stable family. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me he belongs to me."

She flashed her claws,

"I have my own way of marking what's mine."

Satana winced,

"Ooh, kinky. I bet he likes it."

Farrah checked the dress again,

"He's good to me. He knows never to get on my bad side."

There was a knock at the door. Farrah looked over,
"Come in, Leon."

There was a short pause before Leon, dressed in a tuxedo, opened the door. Before he opened his mouth to answer, Farrah said,

"You're predictable. And, Satana's dress is done. Is Superman ready?"

Leon nodded silently and blinked, wondering what to make of his girlfriend's perceptive instincts. Satana blew a kiss to Leon,
"Wish me luck!"
She dashed for the altar. Farrah looked at her boyfriend,

"Something else is up, isn't it?"

Leon nodded,

"Yeah. I just have a feeling Damion Hellstorm is going to show up here and ruin it all. He's a pretty powerful sorcerer himself."
The white-haired woman shook her head,
"I wouldn't worry. He can't be this overprotective with his sister, can he?"

Leon shrugged,

"I don't know. Anyway, we had better get going. Deadpool is getting a little hard to handle."

At that precise moment, Deadpool could be heard screaming,
"NO! I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THIS! THIS ISN'T IN MY CONTRACT!"
The merc-with-a-mouth marched to what he thought was a camera,

"You insane maniac! I know you're doing this for the ratings! You can't have me, Deadpool, Marvel's greatest property, get married! What makes you think that the fans would go for it? You tell me!"
It was either this, or Marvel was going to kill you off.

Deadpool looked aghast,
"Kill me off? How dare they? I single-handedly saved that company from extinction, and now, they would have the audacity to kill me off!"
He flipped the bird to the camera,
"You see this! This is what I think of all the head honchos at Marvel, and what I think of you, you insane author man, you! It was bad enough that I succumbed to this insanity when Squirrel Girl defeated me! I will not do so again for any reason! I will not marry Satana, I don't care how high the ratings are going to get if I did it."

Wade, don't you ever read your contracts?

Deadpool blinked,

"No. Why?"

You would know about a very special clause that I have put in place that, if you do whatever insanity that I come up with, and the reviews or ratings are high enough, you get your very own story.

Deadpool looked at the camera and nearly pulled it off,

"WHAT? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT EARLIER? NOW, I AM GOING TO MARRY SATANA, AND THEN, I'LL GET MY OWN SHOW!"
He then marched away. Leon and Farrah both blinked in confusion and the red-eyed member of the Howling Commandos asked,

"Do you know what that was all about?"
Farrah shook her head,

"No, and I'm the crazy one around here."

A few minutes later…

Deadpool, wearing a tuxedo over his costume, and still wearing the mask, was standing at the altar, waiting for his blushing bride to appear. He grumbled,

"I'm not letting anyone get the better of me and prevent me from getting my own show."

Leon looked over at Arsenal, who was standing on the groom's side. Arsenal was visibly nervous, and he had a right to be. He had no idea what Satana was capable of, and Leon knew that. He had a taste of her power and her wrath once, and it was not pleasant.

In order to accommodate such the hellish union between Deadpool and Satana, the ceremony was taking place in a gothic cathedral, where iron maidens with skeletons in them lined the outer aisles, as bats chirped a dirge of darkness. The altar was the only thing original, despite the fact that two large pillars of fire stood on either side of it. The place looked completely different from a traditional church marriage. It was not a large ceremony; many of the Howling Commandos were there, as well as Superman playing father of the bride, and Wonder Woman, Hippolyta, Zatanna, and Captain America.

The minister looked nervous as the music began to play. Leon fought to keep his eyes from rolling as he saw Superman, genuinely uncomfortable with the whole situation, escorting Satana down the aisle. Diana looked on and shook her head, whispering to her mother,

"There is no way I would ever walk down the aisle dressed like that."

Hippolyta whispered in agreement,

"I agree. It is so much better to just be naked."
The Amazon princess looked at her mother in stunned silence as Satana passed by. Steve cleared his throat in nervousness and watched as Satana was escorted to the altar. The minister began,

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to-."

Satana yanked down on the minister's collar,

"Get on with it. I'm in heat right now."

The minister was pulled back and nodded,

"Right. Deadpool, do you take Satana to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and-?"

Deadpool saluted,

"Yes, I do, sir! I do it for chimmichangas everywhere."

The minister blinked in confusion and then went to Satana,
"Satana, do you-?"

A dark glare came from the demoness as she said,
"I do."

The minister then continued,

"If there be anyone that can show cause why these two should not be married-."

Suddenly, the door burst open and a red-headed man with a pentagram on his bare chest, holding a pitchfork weapon, roared,
"SATANA, STOP THIS INSANITY AT ONCE!"
Leon held his head,
"Somehow, I saw this coming."

Satana shouted,
"Damion Hellstorm, this is my life and leave me alone."

Damion looked aghast,

"But, you can't marry this…this…fool!"
Deadpool laughed,

"Hah!"

He then realized,

"Hey, you insulted me!"
Damion looked at Crisis,

"You had something to do with this, didn't you?"

Leon answered diplomatically,

"Well, it was sort of like this-."

Satana bluntly said,

"Yeah, he did. He got me paired up with a hot guy and I want to marry him. Get over it, Hellstorm! I am happy!"
Damion cast a glowing evil glare at the red-eyed commando,

"YOU HAVE RUINED MY SISTER'S LIFE, FOOL!"
Leon shot back,

"Would you have approved of her marrying me instead?"
Damion looked at the precognitive powerhouse,

"At least you would be sane."

Satana looked on in anger,

"You mean, after all those times you claimed he tried to seduce me, you actually would have approved of him?"

Damion's lips twitched a little, saying quietly,

"Maybe."

Satana rolled her eyes,
"Oh, yes, of course! Coming from the guy who divorced his wife because she couldn't bear the thought of being your wife!"
Damion shot back,

"You leave Patricia out of this! She's been through a lot!"

Just then, a red-headed woman dressed in a yellow and blue cat costume acrobatically flipped into the room and stood perfectly on her hands on one of the pews. She waved,

"Hi, there!"

Leon smirked,

"Hey, Hellcat."

Hellcat giggled and then looked at Damion,

"Come on, Damion; let your sister have the man she wants. It doesn't make her all bad."

Farrah quipped,

"Wait until the kids show up. She'll give a whole new meaning to the expression 'hell on Earth'."

Damion shouted,
"That does it!"

He grabbed Satana's arm,

"You are coming with me this instant."

Satana pulled away and slapped her brother,

"Not until I get married! I am so sick and tired of you controlling my life!"
She slapped him, causing a stir in the crowd. Superman wanted to step in, but Leon grabbed his arm,

"Trust me, you don't want to do this."
Damion looked at his sister and, waving his pitchfork weapon and chanting a spell, created a massive oil stain on the dress. Satana looked on in aghast and, with a burning rage, shouted,

"DIE!"
Leon ordered,

"Everybody out, right now!"
Ten seconds later, all but Satana and her brother were outside. Deadpool laughed,

"Wow, this has turned into an awesome wedding!"

Wonder Woman asked,

"Shouldn't we break them up?"

Damion could be seen running, panting,

"Oh, come on! You can use magic too, you know?"

He was being chased by Satana, who was carrying a flaming war axe. She swung, shouting,

"You ruined my dress, you control freak! I'm going to kill you for it!"

Farrah said,
"I think we should wait until they tire out. It could be a while though."

The Last Son of Krypton shook his head,

"We can't let her hurt him. I'm going to stop it."

As he was making his way there, Leon sighed,

"It's not going to end pretty. I warned him."

Superman then found himself getting chased,

"Ahh! That's hot!"
Satana shrieked,

"You don't know the half of it, buster! No one gets between me and my vengeance!"

Next Chapter:

Tigra goes on a personal quest to finish Bast's request! Stay tuned, fellow readers!