Letter Number 2

July 2nd 1998, Malfoy Manor

Hermione,

Okay, normally I wouldn't admit to something like this, but I've been feeling guilty about the letter I sent you. It's really unlike me to admit something like that, but my mother has been driving me crazy lately. She talks about you none stop, and that made me realise just how nice you've been to me even though I haven't done anything to deserve it. And with that said let's move on to other things.

Right, well, there really isn't anything important to tell. There really wasn't a reason for this letter besides the fact that I felt guilty about the former one. You know, the one where I called you naïve and told you how to feel. Yeah, my mother told me about your reaction to that letter. By the way, I can't believe that you told her! You were supposed to forget about me! And talking to my mother is not the right way to do it. Now she keeps on talking about you, how horrible I was and how I made you cry and now I can't forget about you. It's a mean cycle, that's what it is! Never before have I felt guilty about something I've done. I've always been content with myself and my place in life. But reading your letters, feeling your presence during my come and hearing my mother talk constantly about you has changed that. And I don't like that change! Guilt isn't funny at all.

You see, the truth is, that the Draco you think I am is the Draco I want to be. Even if that means guilt trips once in a while. I'll just have to try and keep those on a minimum. I just want to belong somewhere and be loved, not for my family values or my last name but for who I really am. Not that I really have an idea who that is, but the Draco you described in your letters sounds much more likeable than how I feel.

Now that that's said, I want to make it absolutely clear that I don't regret you I have been. It was fun and all it just doesn't cut it in the real world. It's time that I put the mean Draco Malfoy behind me and reinvent myself. I fear that it's much harder than it sounds. My mother has faith in me, of course she does. My father thinks me weak. I don't plan on changing everything I am.

I don't want to lose myself. Merlin, I should quit talking about this, it makes me seem like some wuss and that's definitely not who I am.

Okay, forgetting all about what I just wrote. You really didn't need to know all of that. It's just so easy to open up to someone through a letter, even though I've never really worded that to anyone before, besides my parents. And it just feels like I know you. Merlin, I'm so confused. I feel like I know you, but still I don't know you at all. Through your letters I've gotten to know a more sympathetic and loving person than I thought I knew, but still I don't know if I like you or not. There is still some of the old resentment underneath all the new feelings.

My mother keeps telling me to give you a chance. She thinks we would be good together. Actually, she thinks you would be good for me. Apparently my moral needs to be altered and you are just the right person to do that. Pwf. Yeah, perhaps my moral has its flaws but I don't need anyone to help me fix it. No thank you I'm strong enough to do it on my own.

Which is also why I'm leaving the Manor. As soon as I'm physically strong enough to live on my own I will. I don't need my mother's constant fuss or my father's constant blame. I'm better off on my own. If I could I'd leave right away, but my legs and arms aren't strong enough yet.

Merlin, I don't need to tell you all of these things, but then again it is just so easy to do it. I mean, you did it to me. Ha, and look where that got me! Confused and irritated. I really want to hate you, Granger, don't get me wrong. But after reading those letters I don't think I can. But I'll say it again this doesn't mean that I actually like you. There is no need for me to write you these things. There is no need to tell you about my childhood or my present or what I want for the future. But I've been without someone to confide in for so long. I never thought that the person I wanted to confide in would be you Granger. But Merlin, there's so much I want to tell you and yet I'm afraid to do so. I'm afraid that suddenly I'll like you against my better judgement. I'm afraid of how you'll handle the things I have to tell you. And then again I shouldn't worry about you, I never have before. Merlin's grey beard Granger, you have seriously messed with my head!

Normally right and wrong wouldn't bother me. I'd just do what I wanted. But now it's like your letters have given me a conscience. I'm still deciding if I should thank you for that you be mad at you.

I must stop talking now, this is so unlike me. Rambling on without anything real to say. Normally I would keep my mouth shut and wait for the opportune moment to spit an insult at someone. But I haven't wanted to do that since I woke up. Not really, anyway. Not like I used to. Granger, you messed me up for good! With you stupid letters and your warms hands on mine. And I now think that it's appropriate to thank you. You've given me a blank page and a new starting point. Thank you.

You make me say 'thank you' too much. I don't like it.

Somehow I think that I will keep writing you. I don't care if you answer any of my letters. I don't expect you to anyway. I am usually very forward about the things I want to say, and some of the things I'm thinking might shock you. Don't answer my letters if you don't want to. If you do, however, I can't guarantee that I'll read them. That's just a bit too personal for me. I don't expect to become you favourite pen friend, Granger, that's not my intention at all. I just need someone to ramble to. And I don't do diaries. I'd rather pretend that I'm talking to a real person. It doesn't seem that sappy.

So just as I was your confident you shall be mine.

Draco

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