Letter Number 3

July 5th 1998, Malfoy Manor

Hermione,

I've just come back from the Hospital and I'm both beat and grumpy. So this won't be the happiest letter ever written. Not that a letter like that could ever come from me, but that's not the point. The point really is that this letter will be blunt and right to the point, because that's just the way I do things and I'm not in the mood to soften anything right now.

I'm guessing that you already know that I have to go to back to St. Mungo's once in a while to get a little more of the antidote and to get a spell cast on my weak muscles. They have forbidden me to fly my broom and play Quidditch until I'm done with their treatment. And that really sucks. I miss feeling the wind in my hair and on my face; I miss the excitement and the thrill of the game. But I'm far from stupid, no matter what you may think of me Granger, and I'm going to take the healers advice. The only problem is that the treatment drains me. I'm tired and I feel weak. I hate feeling weak and I've already been sleeping too much lately, but you know that already.

Okay, then what else can I write about? I really need to keep writing else I fear I might fall asleep and, believe it or not, it's more fun writing you than it is sleeping.

By the way, when are you going to stop seeing my mom? I mean, I'm out of the coma I'm going to be fine so you don't really have anything in common anymore. She is really giving me grief about you all the time, and I don't like the fact that my mother is taking some girl's side over her own son's. That's just not right, you know. She should support my decision and let you alone. But no no, my mom doesn't do that. She keeps seeing you and then she talks about you when she comes home and if that wasn't enough she even bugs me about how stupid I am for letting you go. Yeah, my mother is a hoot.

Just yesterday after she had come home from coffee with you she came into my room, sat on my bed and simply started talking about you. She told me about your job-offer. Why you didn't take it is beyond me. I mean you were asked to start Auror-training but instead you choose to go back to school? That's just backwards. And then she started talking about your house and how you even had room enough for another person. She even had the nerve to suggest that since I wanted to move out I could ask for a spare room at your place. But I simply won't do that. First of all I'd be living with Potty and a screaming baby. Besides the entire point of me moving out was to live alone and hold my own. You know depend on no one else but myself.

About school then you probably already know that my mother is forcing me to return and finish my seventh year. So it looks like you'll have someone there who knows you just like you asked for. I just can't guarantee the other things you wanted, like us being friends. You must admit that the thought of that is totally up-side-down. Just imagine what people would say if they saw us together. And not just that, what if they saw us passing each other without one cruel, mean word and perhaps even smiling at each other. They would totally freak out and Hogwarts wouldn't be the same at all. People rely on our quarrels and without that they'd be confused. Our fighting would be the only normal thing in a totally changed world. Okay that was very over the top and totally unrealistic but still you get the idea.

But anyway, we'll be back in school together. It's just very annoying that I can't do what I really want to. Okay, don't laugh when I tell you this, but what I really want to do is be an Auror. That's why I simply don't get it that you could just pass up the opportunity. You wrote me that I'm considered a hero. I don't believe that. If that was true, then why have both you, Potty and Weasel gotten a letter from the Auror-department when I haven't? It doesn't even matter now. I have to go to school and forget about being an Auror. Just as you have to forget that I ever told you this.

I really don't know how you could do it. I mean write all those personal things in your letter to me, a guy you don't even know and have a way too unrealistic view of. Just writing to tell you what my hopes for the future are is hard enough for me I can't imagine how you got the courage to tell me all the other things. Or perhaps I have you all wrong. Perhaps that wasn't courage at all. You said it yourself you were afraid that I wouldn't wake up. So you might have figured that I wouldn't ever read those letters. Hmm, no that's not really your style. Knowing you Granger (even if I really don't) you probably just have the courage and the confidence to be open and honest about yourself.

It's not I'm not confident, not at all in fact. I'm just so worried about being perceived the wrong way. I'm afraid of what people would think of me if they knew certain things. This is probably where I should show courage and tell you one of those things, right? Merlin, life just isn't easy by birth, huh? Okay, remember what you said about my relationship with my father? Well, you were right about that. We were never close. He might love, like you have pointed out yourself, but he's never shown it or told me. Not even after I've awoken. He's still like a stranger to me that I'm ultimately quite scared of.

Okay, enough with the soppy sharing. I'll finish for this time.

Draco

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