Better than myself Part 15
(Sequel to As a Man)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm not making any money, and all the wonderful characters belong to the lovely JE. I would borrow Ranger for awhile, though.
Warning: Graphic language, disturbing scenes
Tank's POV
I'm in my office, trying to make sure everything is ready for our little overnight visit to Boston. The plane is always fueled; I think that Lester will be our pilot for this trip. I need to be focused on the task at hand and I know Les will not repeat anything he accidently overhears. He doesn't always understand Ranger, but he is family, so he will do anything for him. I am questioning if we are taking the right plan of action. I know that Thomas deserves whatever will happen to him, but is Ranger the one to do it? There has to be a reason that he hadn't done it years ago. I know he has thought about it. I know he is capable of it, even making it look like an accident, so there has to be something that held him back. I hope he figured it out, but if not, I can and will gladly take care of this threat for him. Not just for him, Thomas is like a rabid dog and you know what is done to rabid dogs. They are put down.
Ranger comes into my office, locks to door and takes a seat. He must have just gotten back. This is new, he never comes in here. He usually just calls me to come to him. This must be something.
"Before we leave, I have to thank you. You always have my back and have been doing it for so long, that I don't want you to think I take it for granted. You are my brother, in whatever sense the word means. I would do the same for you.
While I am talking, I know I still need to apologize for leaving those letters for you to find. I know what you thought when you found them and I can't say you were wrong. I am still not clear on my intentions that day. But I know that my death would have crushed you, the same way yours would crush me. I give you my word that will never happen. If I think I am shaky, I will come to you, like I should have that day."
Ranger leans forward and put his arms on his knees, not his normal posture. He doesn't have to thank me, like he said we are brothers. There are no words needed because he would and has done the same for me. He might feel he does all of the taking, but whenever there has been a crisis, he has stepped up. After the death of my parents, I thought I would die too and he was there through the entire thing.
Regarding his suicide plan, because I have to call it like I see it, even though he won't. Yes, his death, especially by his own hand, would kill a part of me. But if he says he will come to me, then I have to trust him. I just look and nod, "No worries, brother."
"But since I have you and we are baring our souls," I snicker a little at that. "I have something to tell you before we get to Boston. "
I knew I had to tell him, to prevent any awkwardness, or any more awkwardness.
I tell him about all of my late night conversations with Camille. I think something is growing between us, but it is early, I am not sure what it is. I know she has feelings for me, but nothing that anyone wants to act on. But I didn't want him to go into the situation completely unaware.
"Cami? Jason's wife? Man. Do you know their situation? You know that she will never leave Jason, no matter what? The marriage is not traditional, but there is love there."
I know I would never ask her to change anything. I don't know what this is, but there is something that draws me to her, I can't explain it. I know you know all about that. I laugh a little.
He doesn't seem angry; I don't know what I expected his reaction to be. It sounds awful, that I am falling for his brother's wife. But it isn't the same as it sounds.
He just explains that he doesn't want me to get hurt. He knows I wanted to marry and start a family with Lula and that isn't something I can have with Camille. He knows that Jason has been with someone else for years. So if we wanted a relationship, it wouldn't be a problem for Jason. If it isn't a problem for Jason, it will never be a problem for him.
Good, that is all I wanted to hear. I am not sure where, if any place this will go, I am glad it will not cause trouble.
I change the subject to JJ, I want to know how he is going to approach JJ and get him to open up. He replies, "I will be as honest as I can and try to get him to tell me exactly what happened. If I tell him some of what happened to me, it might help him open up. I want him to know he is not alone, I know how isolating it feels to have a secret."
Maybe they can help each other.
Next order of business…. Thomas. I ask him if he is going to be able to take care of it, or does he need me to. Ranger's eyes turn to ice; this is the Ranger that I have seen many times on missions. "If he did anything to JJ, he just forfeited his life. It isn't what I am going to do to Thomas; it's what Thomas has ordered up for himself. I let him go for his actions towards me because of the guilt I felt for my part in it, but his actions towards another child will not go unpunished."
That is what I needed to hear and if Steph and I have to work to keep him from shutting down. Then that is what we will do.
A/N: I am going to take a couple of days to plan to make sure that I give the conversation with Ranger and JJ the attention and sensitivity it deserves. So if there is a longer time before the next couple of chapters, that is why.
Thanks for reading and reviewing. There is still a lot more to come.
