Better than myself Part 18
(Sequel to As a Man)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm not making any money, and all the wonderful characters belong to the lovely JE. I would borrow Ranger for awhile, though.
Warning: Graphic language, disturbing scenes
Ranger's POV
I know it is time, after talking to JJ; it is actually far past time. I need to take care of Thomas, something I should have done years ago. My own cowardice and selfishness let Thomas hurt someone else. It was different when it was just me, but JJ, that is unforgivable. As Tank said, Thomas is a rabid dog; he needs to be put down.
I need to do something, run, hit something, but I know it is because I want to run away from the sadness I feel because of JJ and some sadness from myself. Looking at JJ was like looking in the mirror. JJ didn't have to tell me exactly what Thomas did, I can remember, hell… some nights I can still feel it. I will take care of this for JJ, I am the best, there will be no trace to me or the family and it will just look like a break in gone bad. I hope knowing that Thomas can never hurt him again, will help JJ. I will make sure that he has everything he needs.
Tank walks outside and asks if I am ready to do this? Almost, I just need to ask him not to react to anything that he hears tonight, if there are any questions I will answer them when it is all over. But please, no reactions while we are in front of Thomas. I don't imagine he is going to go quietly and anything he can do to take me down with him, he will try.
"I can do that, we need to make this clean, can Steph do that? Gloves and everything, in an out in an hour or less. Anything more will draw suspicion to the vehicles."
I think my Babe can do anything, just give her the specifics and she will follow. Hopefully nothing blows up. Tank laughs, "Yeah, something can always happen, when Bomber is involved."
We bump fists and Steph comes out. Tank tells her to come see him when she is done out here. He will brief her on the mission.
I am so glad Steph is here; I walk over and wrap my arms around her.
"Ranger… Carlos are you sure you want to do this? Tank and Lester could take care of him for you."
"No, this is my mess, my closure, I NEED to do this. I put this off because I didn't want to face it; I am ready to face it now."
I also give her the same speech I gave Tank, any questions when this is over, but not during. And not to react to Thomas at all if she can help it.
I can't believe I am opening myself up for questions, but I am so sick of hiding from those I love. I need to practice the same advice I gave JJ. If you need help, ask.
She nods and I give her a kiss, just to show her that I love her. Off to talk to Tank, while I take a little bit of time alone. This is the way I approach every mission, I just clear my mind of everything except the objective. This is more personal than any mission I have ever been on. I hope that I can come back from this.
Tank chose the witching hour to arrive at Thomas', midnight, when most people are sleeping, so our arrival will be less noticeable.
Steph picks the lock to the back door (anytime is a good time for practice), I am proud of how fast she does it and that she is wearing gloves. We go in quiet as mice; we leave Steph in the kitchen, because as much as she has learned, stealth will never be her strong suit. Tank and I split up, he checks upstairs and I look at every room on the ground floor. Tank returns quickly with a shake of his head and then I know exactly where he is. Alone in this house, that son of a bitch is in the basement.
I just walk down the stairs, not caring about being quiet anymore. Thomas is lying on the bed and looks up and smiles when he sees me. "Did you come back for more?"
What? What did he say? Fuck that, I draw my gun and pointed at him. I know I can't do this in an uncontrolled rage, but I want to just empty my clip into his head.
"Boy, are you going to shoot me? You think you are a man with that gun? Does it make you forget how you would beg for it? How you would beg me to fuck you? Will killing me, make you forget, how I felt how I tasted?"
I feel myself start to lose it, "Get on your knees, boy" I say with a sneer. I am surprised I am not screaming.
Thomas gets up and stares me in the eye.
"Does your girl know? Does your friend? Do they know about all the boys you screwed in high school? Big strong Ricky, did you take it like you did from me? Or did you were you on top?"
I can't believe he is still talking. I tell him that this is not about me; it is about what he did to JJ. JJ was his flesh and blood. I wouldn't kill him for myself, because if that was the case it would have been done years ago. He actually looks angry. "JJ told, I told him to never tell. You never told, I am going to…."
I press my gun at his temple and repeat, "Get on your knees."
On her way down, I place a kick on his kneecap and I feel it dislocate on his way down. He cries out in pain, Tank goes behind him to make sure that most of the pressure is on the dislocated knee. I start to talk very quietly.
"I used to think I was going to die in this room. I remember being eight years old, peeing blood and being afraid to tell anyone. I was in so much pain, I wished for death. And before we leave this room, you will wish for death also, but your wish will be granted."
I grab his hand and break all of the fingers. It is very satisfying to feel the breaking of those bones. He is starting to cry. "How does it feel to cry out in pain, knowing that no one will help you?" I take out my knife and look at the blade. "I wonder how this will feel going into your leg. Do you want to see?"
Tank makes a noise next to me. Oh, I guess I can't torture him because we need to make it look like a B&E and that Thomas fled to the basement. The broken fingers can be explained away, but not if I carve him up. Okay, let me rein it in.
Tank and I pick him up and take him to the end of the stairs. I look Thomas in the eye, "I want my face to be the last thing you ever see. You stole my childhood, you stole from JJ and it stops now!" I reach up and snap his neck.
Tank arranges him to look like he fell down the stairs and he goes up with Steph. I hear them upstairs moving furniture and breaking items. I know I should go and help, but I am stuck, staring at Thomas. The culmination of all of my nightmares is lying dead at the bottom of the stairs. And I feel nothing. It didn't change anything for me. I honestly didn't think it would, that is why I never took care of it before. My reality does not change with his death. But I hope now JJ will feel safe.
Stephanie comes down the stairs and shakes me. "Are you ready to go? Tank has already taken some things to the van. We have to get out of here."
I don't say anything, I just follow her up. It is time to get out of here. I need to go and talk to JJ and Jason in the morning, but then I think I need to put some distance between myself and Boston. Not the people, just the place.
A/N: I hope this was satisfying. I wanted it to be darker, but I came up with the idea of not having any loose ends regarding his death and this idea just came to me. Also, I don't think torturing him to his death would change Ranger's hell.
Please leave reviews. I think the next chapters will come faster. (Less violence, more emotional)
