Voldemort strode into the Ministry Atrium, once again disguised as an employee. He hadn't been able to get ahold of the head of Auror offices again, but he'd found some other worker to turn into. He immensely disliked the body he'd currently transformed into. He was short, balding, and rather round. He shook his head and grimaced. A few witches nearby gave him odd looks, and moved away. He quickly smiled at them and hurried off in the other direction. Big mistake!
"THERE YOU ARE!", boomed a loud, deep, voice. Voldemort had almost run smack into a tall, buff man wearing a red cloak emblazoned with "MINISTRY CLEANING SERVICES" on it.
"Bill, I told you to buff the floors of the Auror offices YESTERDAY!", the man yelled, grabbing the disguised Voldemort by the arm. Voldemort was not happy. He managed to resist the temptation to Crucio the man into oblivion.
He tried to jerk away, but the man was too strong. "Do you want to lose your job, Bill?", snapped the big man. "Don't forget, you're just a newbie in the Ministry janitorial services. I can fire you in a second!".
Voldemort cursed his bad luck, and allowed himself to be dragged along by the man, whose nametag identified him as "Hello! My Name is: Robert Paulson (Ministry Cleaning Services Head Manager)". He gnashed his teeth, vowing to kill this Robert Paulson character FIRST when he came back later to take over the Ministry. He shifted the box of chocolates in his arms to try to avoid dropping it.
Robert dragged him down several flights of stairs and down a corridor, into a small locker room that smelled like mold.
"I'm gonna have to dock your salary Bill, you're not in uniform!", he growled, throwing a bundle of ugly red fabric at him. Voldemort reluctantly opened the bundle of fabric, revealing a hideous, red, tight-fitting polyester uniform, unattractively emblazoned with "MINISTRY CLEANING SERVICES", along with the logo, a smiling mop and bucket. He shuddered.
Suddenly, another employee, a young man with a handlebar mustache, walked in the door. He bowed, seeming scared, to Robert Paulson.
"Er, Mr. Paulson?", he stammered.
"Get up, Arkie! I am a busy man you know, I don't have all day!", yelled Robert, turning away from Voldemort to glare at Arkie. Voldemort sighed, relieved, and wrapped the chocolates and the note in his cape.
"S-so, er, you told me to b-b-buff the floors of the Atrium, near the M-minister and his cabinets offices, but Penelope and her team were there and they told m-me to g-go buff the floors of t-the auror offices", Arkie stammered nervously, bowing again.
Robert Paulson glared. "Fine. Bill here can buff the floors by the Ministers offices then. You hear that Bill, you incompetent fool?"
Voldemort nodded, seeing red. Literally. He bit down on his lip so hard he tasted blood. It was so hard not to just Avada Kedavra the Robert Paulson moron. If ANYONE had treated him that way while he wasn't in disguise trying to win a woman's heart, he would haveā¦..well, actually, they wouldn't even have been able to treat him that way, because they'd already be dead.
Suddenly, a group of Employees wearing the same hideous red uniforms flooded into the locker room. "Lunch break!", one of them cheered gleefully.
Robert glared at Voldemort. "Bill, change in the next thirty seconds and meet me outside, otherwise I'm gonna fire your sorry ass", he snapped, stepping outside.
Voldemort cursed under his breath and began changing into the itchy, hot uniform.
"Aww, is widdle Bill afwaid of big bad Mr. Paulson?", a singsong voice asked. It was a young, blond woman, who was leering at Bill.
"Haha, and he can't even put on his uniform right!", chuckled a nearby man, pointing. Voldemort looked down to see that in his fit of rage, he'd accidentally, tried poking his foot through one of the arm holes of the shirt.
Loud laughs rang out. Voldemort gathered that the man he was impersonating, Bill, was not very popular among his coworkers.
Suddenly, a hand reached out and grabbed the box of chocolates that he'd so cleverly hidden in his cloak.
"Fudge flies?", laughed the man who'd grabbed the box.
"Give that back!", demanded Voldemort angrily, yanking the uniform shirt over his head.
"Oooh, and what are you gonna do about it, huh, huh?", laughed the perpetrator, dancing away with the box.
"You eat FUDGE FLIES? You're so disgusting!", yelled an onlooker. People kept laughing, and someone else shoved Voldemort from behind.
"Oops, did you trip, Bill?", joked someone behind him.
"LISTEN YOU MORONS! WHEN I COME BACK TO TAKE OVER THE MINISTRY YOU ARE ALL GOING TO BE VERY SORRY!", yelled Voldemort, losing it.
He then realized what he'd just said, and clapped a hand over his mouth. Luckily, it didn't seem to matter.
He was just greeted by another chorus of laughs, then someone shoved him out the door, right into an angry Robert Paulson, and tossed the Fudge Flies after him.
"Bill! You idiot! For Merlin's sake, watch where you're going!", yelled Robert. "This way! Cleaning supplies!".
Twenty minutes later, Robert Paulson had strapped Voldemort into a large contraption, which rested on his back, with a long hose attached, which had a buffing cloth on the end. The machine made light whirring sounds, and gently emitted clouds of sweet smelling lavender smoke. Voldemort hated it. He was also assigned a large bucket, full of a greenish liquid for him to dip the buffing cloth hose into every few minutes, which was magically enchanted to follow him around.
Robert finally dropped Voldemort off in the Atrium, near Fudge and Umbridge's offices, and left with the warning, "If you aren't done in half an hour, you're good as dead!".
Voldemort quickly checked to make sure the coast was clear, then he dropped the box of Fudge Flies and the love letter into Dolores's inbox. Even though he was dressed in a hideous janitors uniform, nothing could go wrong now!
