Voldemort pretended to actually buff the floors while he waited for Umbridge to discover his latest delivery.

He dunked the buffing cloth/hose into the liquid, and pretended to earnestly be polishing the floor next to Umbridge's office door. Suddenly, he heard footsteps, and the door opened.

Umbridge stepped out, followed by Fudge and a red haired man who was apparently the Junior Undersecretary to the Minister. He looked suspiciously like a Weasley, but at the moment, Voldemort didn't actually care.

"…so, Minister, let me just check my in-tray, and then we can go to lunch, allright?", Umbridge was saying.

Voldemort sucked in a breath of delight. Finally, she'd understand. He was sure he hadn't made any mistakes this time! We watched with bated breath as she headed over to the in-trays.

"What are you doing?", demanded Fudge, looking down at the disguised Voldemort on the floor.

With a lot of effort, Voldemort looked up at him and smiled. "I'm just buffing the floors, Minister", he replied, trying not to think of how good it would feel to just Avada Kedavra Fudge on the spot.

"Huh, okay", grunted Fudge, ignoring Voldemort once again. Umbridge had now reached her in-tray.

Voldemort's face fell when he was the suspicious expression cross Umbridge's face when she saw the paper with the skull on the front. He held his breath as he watched her pick it up and open it.

Her expression then ranged from shock, to horror, to disgust, to offended, then back to shock.

"Minister, Minister!", she wailed, racing towards Fudge as fast as her stubby legs would carry her.

"What is it, Dolores?", Fudge looked concerned. "Is it another one of those insults? I assure you, the Auror office is hard at work trying to identify the perpetrator."

"Someone sent me offensive DEATH THREATS!", she exclaimed, brandishing the letter around and shoving it into Fudge's hands.

His expression changed, and he looked surprised and infuriated as he read the message.

"I do agree about that Potter boy, but this is an outrage!", cried Umbridge.

Fudge crumpled up the letter in his fist in anger, and strode to the middle of the atrium. The Ministry employees milling about stopped and looked at him curiously.

"Someone has just sent Dolores Umbridge, valued Ministry employee, and offensive letter that also threatens to kill muggles. Anyone with information MUST COME FORTH IMMEDIATELY! And whoever is responsible is looking at an empty cell in Azkaban, and I will personally destroy the key myself!", he yelled angrily, holding up the letter.

He walked back to Umbridge and the red haired Junior Undersecretary.

"This is getting completely out of hand!", he yelled in rage. "First that card and those flowers-it took me ages to get those roaches out of my pants-and now this!"

"Excuse me", the disguised Voldemort stepped forward. A brilliant, evil idea had just struck him.

"What is it, Janitor?", snapped Fudge, his face red.

"I-I think I know who did it", said Voldemort, pretending to sound nervous.

Umbridge, Fudge, and the Junior Undersecretary hurried towards him.

"Well blast it, why didn't you say so?", demanded Fudge.

"I think Robert Paulson, the Head Manager of Ministry Cleaning Services is responsible", he lied.

"I always see him staring at Madam Umbridge when she passes by him, and earlier, he insisted on scrubbing the walls around the in-tray's are, even though it's usually a two person job", he lied.

Umbridge began nodding. "Why, I'll bet it was him! I've never seen him before, but I bet he's suspicious!"

"What's your name?"asked Fudge to Voldemort.

"Uh, Bill", Voldemort lied, using the body's original owners name.

Fudge clapped him on the back..

"Well Bill, you've just earned yourself a promotion. You can start as Madam Umbridge's new secretary. Her old one was just fired after he spilled her tea. How does that sound?"

Voldemort nearly fainted with glee. "Thank you so much Minister!", he cried. He would now get to be near his darling Dolores each day! Well, whenever it suited his schedule, that was….

"If you take that hideous uniform off, you can start today!", said Umbridge cheerily.

"Now, lets go arrest that Robert Paulson", said Fudge, gesturing to a few security guards. "You've just done a tremendous public service, Bill. I'm sure it was hard to turn in your own boss, but you did the right thing".

Voldemort tried not to snigger.