Voldemort, still disguised as the rather unpopular Bill, watched happily as Robert Paulson was dragged off by a gang of burly Ministry security wizards.

He decided to take the rest of the day off. And find a better person to impersonate.

Later, Voldemort found himself a new body to impersonate. He'd tried, this time, to find someone good looking, instead of an unpopular, unattractive person like Bill.

Disguising himself as a mannequin, he'd hung out in the Men's clothing section of a wizarding Department Store. It had taken a while, but finally, he'd found a somewhat attractive looking man, and had knocked him out with a well-placed bash on the head with the arm of another mannequin, (As a security precaution to prevent people from shoplifting using magic, there was a protective curtain around the store that prevented spells from working), knocked out all the witnesses, and dragged the unconscious man out the door and apparated back to Malfoy Manor, the Death Eater Headquarters with him. Though the man's good looks were now slightly marred by the large bruise on his temple, Voldemort felt he would do.

After forcing Wormtail to go lock up the poor man in the cellar, he decided he now needed a new plan of action for wooing Dolores. Apparently flowers, love notes, and chocolate weren't very effective. He'd actually been surprised that none of his attempts had worked. From what he'd heard, women went nuts over candy, roses, and love notes. He shook his head in confusion. Maybe times had just changed?

Sighing in frustration, he picked up Nagini. She wound happily around his neck, and began hissing happily. Voldemort stroked her as he paced around his darkened study.

"What to do, what to do….", he mused to himself.

"Issssss sssssssomething wrong, Massssssster?", Nagini hissed in Parseltongue into his ear.

"Oh….just trying to think of how to woo the girl of my dreams", he muttered dreamily.

Nagini perked up. "That'ssssss sssssssso ssssssssssweet, Massssster!", she hissed, twining around him affectionately.

"Yes, yes", Voldemort stroked his chin and sat down at his desk. "She works for the Ministry of Magic, and all my attempts so far haven't gone very well", he admitted.

Nagini drooped sadly, and frowned a little snake-y frown. Oh well…..a snake could dream, couldn't she? Well, her Master was probably totally out of her league anyway.

"Well, ssssssssssometimesssssssss, assssssssssss a romantic gessssssssture, we ssssssssssssnakesssssss give each other dead ratsssssssss", Nagini suggested.

"Hmmmm…I don't know if Dolores likes rats…..and I really don't want to mess things up again", Voldemort said. He'd have been tearing his hair out at this point, if he had hair.

"Well, you could assssssssssk Luciusssssssss for advice", Nagini suggested. "Sssssssssssssomehow that bleach blond managed to find a wife….he mussssssssssst've done ssssssssssssomething right…."

"Good idea! Nagini, you clever snake!", cried Voldemort, jumping up.

He hurried to the door.

"LUCIUS! GET OVER HERE! NOW!", he yelled at the top of his lungs, smiling as he heard Lucius running in fear to come join his master.