Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight.
Hello, beautiful readers!
You know, I spent all day that day writing that damn chapter 3 times before I got it right, and you guys made it all worth while!
I know I sound like a stalker, but I pretty much love you guys to death.
My chapter question today should be answered because I'm deciding on what you guys say.
And that about sums it up.
Reviewer(s) of the chapter-
ElspethGordie- for liking my erratic 14 year old writing, lol, and my girlly Edward! (and for giving me my Alice and Jasper meeting place and idea!)
Sanders61584- for noticing that it was an empty bottle… and foreseeing cold showers ;)
Angel27eyes- yeah… so dreamy…
Lynne0731- for reviewing all the chapters and wanting to be Bella!
MidnightTulip- because I surprised someone in the Medical Academy ! I dare you to ask your teachers about it…
- she brought up an interesting point… Edward DOESN'T HAVE A SEXUAL BACKGROUND… and that will be explained later.
(I wanted to put more of you in…)
And special thanks to (in no particular order)- futurecullen11, TwiDi, edwardandjakeloverr, ArizonaSky, MusicIsMyBoyfriend33, ErinCullen, evanescence107, brebredh93, twilightgirl80, Ms. Jessica Cullen's BIGGEST FAN, and my epic beta.
VOTE FOR PEDRO-
LAST ON SILENCE-
I bit my lip before getting up gently, as to not wake Edward up.
I walked slowly to the computer and went to Wikipedia.
I typed Antiandrogen in the search bar.
An antiandrogen, or androgen antagonist, is any group of hormone receptor antagonist compounds that are capable of preventing or inhibiting the biologic effects of androgens, male sex hormones, on normally responsive tissues in the body. Antiandrogens usually work by blocking the appropriate receptors, competing for binding the cell's surface, obstructing the androgens' pathway.
Antiandrogens are often indicated to treat severe male sexual disorders, such as hyper sexuality (excessive sexual desire) and sexual deviation, specifically paraphilias, as well as use an antineoplastic agent and palliative, adjuvant or neoadjuvant hormonal therapy inprostate cancer.
CURRENTLY ON SILENCE-
Holy fucking shit.
I think I may have whimpered a bit, looking at the screen. As if I didn't already have enough physical attraction and sexual longing for him?
Now you're going to tell me that he has increased sexual drive?
I shuddered, thinking wistfully.
Well… I suppose there's also another possibility, but I had a bunch of trouble with that one… I didn't want to imagine Edward with cancer… he couldn't…
"Bella?" I heard his deep, hoarse from sleep, confused voice.
"Damn…" I whispered before shutting off the screen and erasing my history.
I'm glad I remembered to erase the history, what dumb ass wouldn't?
"Right here, Edward." I answered back in a calm voice.
"Why aren't you sleeping?" He was clearly annoyed by this.
"Well… um… I wanted to change into pajamas." That made sense.
He nodded drowsily before falling back asleep.
Did antiandrogen make you tired?
Maybe.
BASBASBASBAS
As you can probably guess, I was too anxious to get to sleep last night, although I did go to bed, my mind was still in overdrive.
So Edward actually woke up before me and by the time he had everything packed and put away, I was still asleep.
"Bella, wake up, I want to be out of Idaho by lunch." He said, lightly caressing my shoulder awake.
I was certainly up at that.
Once we were all situated in the car, Edward started driving, as promised.
I fiddled with my fingers.
I had to come up with a plan, though… I couldn't just up and ask if he had increased sex drive or cancer. That's rude.
"What's wrong? You're all fidgety. Oh, you didn't eat breakfast this morning. Is that it?" He nodded, agreeing with himself, "Yes. We'll stop at an IHOP in about 10 minutes."
I smiled weakly in response.
What would I do? Maybe I could… just subtly bring those up and see which one he reacts the most to?
Yeah, because sex drive and cancer can be subtly brought into every day conversation.
The negative part of me countered and I pursed my lips.
I peeked at Edward from my seat. Well, I couldn't very well try to bring it up if there wasn't any conversation. And I was too nervous to start one.
BASBASBASBAS
After we ate, we had been driving for another hour and all I could think about during that time was asking Edward about sex drive or cancer.
He obviously noticed, "Bella… is something wrong?" He'd only asked me a million times and a half.
I always shook my head.
He narrowed his eyes at me, "Just tell me, Isabella." He meant business this time.
Okay… doing it this time!
"Well… yes… there is actually… I was wondering what… your step family is all like again?"
Fail.
And although I didn't find the information I had set out on a mission to find, Edward and I had spent the rest of the five hour drive talking about his family. That information was useful too.
Esme was passionate about interior design, and was the most loving person anyone ever met.
Carlisle was amazingly smart, he was high up on the town's respect list, and he had a gentle heart.
Alice, on the other hand, was a free spirited shopper with a devious mind.
But he said I would love them all; I had no doubt that I would.
BASBASBASBAS
We got to the hotel at 12:47 today, and I grumbled that I could've slept in more.
I was excited. We were in Salt Lake City ! Although I was too tired to appreciate it.
Edward disagreed, saying this was more efficient and I rolled my eyes because one day we left at 2 o clock.
Efficient my ass. Why did he want to get here so early?
Once we got up to the room, Edward grabbed something out of his bag, but I couldn't see what it was.
He said he wanted to go get Alice a present at the mall. I asked if he wanted help and his answer hurt me.
"No! I mean… it's just that it's Alice 's birthday in about a month and I wanted to go alone…"
I blinked. "Well… alright, then… I'll, um, stay here then."
He nodded before leaving.
BASBASBASBAS
He came back about 30 minutes later, looking easier. I wasn't though; I didn't know why he was so abrasive earlier.
Apparently it showed clearly on my face and Edward sighed from behind me, walking up and giving me a hug.
"I'm sorry I was so incredibly rude to you before, Bella." His voice was sincere, and right next to my ear.
I had trouble saying it was alright. Gah! I was a mess around him.
"You didn't get anything though?" I asked when I saw nothing in his hands.
He bit down on his lip, clenching his fist and it sounded like clicks against plastic.
"Um… no… maybe you could come out with me later to get her something?"
I looked at him, perplexed, but nodded anyways.
We went to the mall and ended up getting Alice a hair curler, and a ton of new beauty products we knew I had guessed she would like.
Neither of us got very restful nights of sleep last night. And we both had walked drowsily to the car.
Luckily for me, it was my turn to drive…
He was sleeping again. Lucky…
I wanted to just shake him awake and yell at him the question that had been bothering me all day.
BASBASBASBAS
We made it to Wyoming just a few hours later… only 15 more hours to go and I was tired of driving.
I stretched my arms above my head when we walked into our hotel room.
"What is it, Bella?" He asked suddenly as he tossed our bags on a sofa.
I looked at him, confused, "What do you mean?"
He rolled his eyes, "You've had something on your mind all day, and you should probably get whatever it is off of your chest before you combust."
I blushed, looking down.
"Now I have to know." He said.
I locked my gaze on the floor.
I felt a warm pressure on my chin, manipulating my gaze upwards. My heart fluttered.
There Edward was, gazing at me with piercing green eyes, his face about 3 inches from mine.
He had the tiniest of smiles on his face as my breath hitched.
"Won't you tell me, Isabella?" He said, his voice liquid sugar. I'm pretty sure I made the tiniest of moans… or an embarrassingly big one…
His eyes looked a little bit darker than before and he licked his lips. I wanted to do that.
I collapsed under his pressure, having to force myself to breathe.
He let me fall to the bed, smirking slightly.
"Won't you?" He asked me again. He climbed up next to me, his thigh placed against mine deliberately.
"I… uh… well… wasn't thinking of anything." I said nervously.
He clicked his tongue at me, cocking his head to the side.
"Are you sure about that, Isabella?" I shuddered when he said that.
Holy fuck… that was hot.
He looked me over once more and gasped.
Suddenly, he hopped off of the bed, looking horrified at something. He shook his head fast, walking back outside to the balcony, pulling on the roots of his hair.
I sighed, I'd ruined it. Edward had been disgusted by me.
I breathed deeply. No… he said he wasn't disgusted by me…
What else could it be?
Why did he walk away then?
I thought over that for a moment. I looked out to him as he looked like he was chastising himself.
Oh… oh! Oh, God. I finally thought. He was trying to stop himself.
And if that was true, then there had to be other indicators. I thought.
Edward took one, long, slow lick off of my ice cream, never breaking eye contact.
His gaze shifted to my chest and he smirked, "And I guess I was right."
"You know, groping someone like that in their sleep would be considered rape." But he didn't look bothered.
My jaw fell to the floor.
BASBASBASBAS
I spent the next hour after that trying to calm myself down.
Calm down, Bella… you only have a very sexually frustrated Edward to spend the night with in a bed…
I gulped.
But I immediately felt guilty. This had to be hard on him. How long had he been trying to be celibate? I gasped at that thought. How… how many times had he had sex?
Was he having the urges now?
All of these questions and more swam through my head. I felt so overwhelmed. And then I looked to Edward, who was currently beating himself up outside.
But there was only one question that really mattered to me… how many times had he had sex.
I frowned, it wasn't the time to think about that, if Edward was upset, then I had to go and find a way to comfort him.
I walked outside and heard Edward mumbling to himself, but I couldn't quite make out what the words said.
"Edward?" I said, asking his name like a question.
His head snapped up to meet mine… I saw many emotions in his eyes.
Something like guilt and happiness, but the guilt over shadowed the happiness.
"Why are you so upset?" I had to ask, I couldn't just come out here, knowing what was wrong.
He sighed, running one of his hands through his hair.
"I went too far, I went the farthest, and it fucked the whole thing up… just… never mind, okay?" His words were all so mixed together but I could barely understand them.
Edward didn't sleep at the usual time again that night; he stayed out on the balcony for longer than I had anticipated. But it gave me more time to smile like an idiot.
Edward was hypersexual.
I did an internal dance, chanting it over and over again.
And then I frowned again, what made me think I'd get anything out of that? I wouldn't. I was just Bella Swan… but he had said that it didn't matter what he thought of me before.
I thought over the road trip again, yeah, there were some instances where he looked like he could've been showing some tiny interest in me.
The thought swelled my heart with hope again.
BASBASBASBAS
The next morning I woke up and Edward was awake. He was packing his suitcase, and mine too, with a tight jaw. His actions were planned. He looked… angry.
"Edward?" My sleepy voice croaked.
He looked up at me and he forced a smile on his face. But it disappeared as his eyes flashed down, some other expression greeted his face, it looked like… I don't know, I couldn't quite place it.
I looked down as well to see that my tank top that I'd slept in had ridden down some and to the side, revealing part of my chest.
I blushed as I replaced it, I was going to have to be more careful if he was trying to go celibate, which I think he was, and who was I to stop him?
He shook his head, clearing it.
"Get ready, we're going to go soon, sleep in the car, I'm driving."
I nodded groggily and he handed me clothes.
After I changed we went to the car, but I didn't fall asleep. Why was Edward so uptight today? What's his deal?
I sighed, I didn't have a use for saying those questions in my head, and I wasn't going to be getting any answers any time soon.
I opted for this. "What's wrong, Edward?" I asked quietly, hands folded in my lap.
He sighed, his eyes looking strained against the road.
"Nothing's wrong, Bella. It's something that you wouldn't want to know about, but you can be confident in the fact that it isn't about you, and it won't affect you at- I mean… it won't… just it isn't about you." He said.
He shot me a tiny smile though.
We drove further and further, and my question dug itself further and further to the forefront of my mind and fast.
"Um… did you know that the average American has sex about 7 years of their life?" I blurted, and then my hand shot over my mouth and my eyes widened.
Where the hell did that come from?!
Edward looked at me and blinked, there was amusement and that thing I couldn't place in his eyes.
"Oh?" He asked, playing along as he looked enjoyably on at my mortification. "And how do you know that?"
I shook my head, digging it into my hands.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I repeated to myself. And with reason. What was I doing? Talking about sex to a celibate hypersexual?
I looked up, my face hot, "Never mind…" I said as I sank low in my chair.
He chuckled, but he moved to adjust his position.
A few minutes later he sighed, looking disappointed in something and he stopped at a gas station.
He stayed in there for about 10 minutes and then strolled back out with a lazy smile on his face, holding no bought goods from the store.
Less than 5 minutes later, he grew tense again.
BASBASBASBAS
I had to remind myself to breathe easier on the rest of the ride. His constant sexual frustration… and sexual release had me gasping for reason why I shouldn't just do whatever I wanted to him by the end of the ride.
Seeing as he tensed up every second, you couldn't really blame me. He hadn't done this on our last trips?
What made today so sexual for him?
Oh well… I tried not to think about it.
Our hotel was nice, naturally like all of the rest, and Edward moved to sit on the bed.
I went to sit next to him, and he went rigid. "Um… I'm going to go find the remote."
Edward said, because… huh… fancy that, it wasn't on the coffee table.
After 5 minutes of searching for the remote, he began to grow seriously frustrated.
His phone vibrated on the bed next to me.
I glanced at the screen. Alice .
"Edward? Alice is calling you." I called and Edward sighed, looking at his situation, balanced on two chairs and looking on top on the big screen.
"Can you pick it up? She probably doesn't want much anyways." He said dismissively.
I bit my lip as I flipped his phone open.
Flamboyant Alice didn't wait for my greeting as she started talking.
"Edward, Daddy kept saying you need more antiandrogen and I have it, just to let you know. Still kind of ironic, though, don't you think. I didn't think someone could love sex too much… but you can… more power to you… hey, by the way, how long has this whole thing been going on? Because how can you love sex so much if you've never-"
I finally cut her off.
" Alice ! I'm not Edward…" I said with laughter in my voice.
Alice gasped, "Um… oh God… please don't tell Edward anything I just told you! Because from what he's told me… you sound a ton like this Bella chick and oh my gosh I ruined everything!"
She kept ranting.
I rolled my eyes, "I already knew, Alice ."
Edward chose that moment to glance in my direction warily, but then shook his head.
"-And everything's just going to be so- wait what? How did you know?" She asked questioningly.
"Does that matter?" I asked.
I heard her sigh, "I guess not… but that boy has tight lips… I can't believe he told you… he must really-" She continued talking in a high voice.
"Oh dang I ruined it again! Oh never mind… just tell Edward that I have his pills, I'm going with the assumption that he doesn't know you know… so just tell him that in a confused voice." She instructed.
I said okay and pulled his phone away from my face, looking at him, " Alice said to tell you that she… um… has your pills with her…" I said.
Edward's eyes widened. "Um… alright… tell her thanks."
I almost raised the phone back up.
"Did she elaborate?" He asked, looking hurt.
"On what?" I replied, trying not to let him know that I knew.
He nodded, looking pleased with something.
"Bye Alice ." I said as I shut his phone.
BASBASBASBAS
The next set of driving didn't actually take that long, there wasn't much traffic to worry about so we got to our next destination an hour before we had planned.
That didn't mean we weren't tired though.
But, we did only need to do ten more hours of driving. That's a plus, right? Well, it is compared to 35.
When we got to our room, I didn't even pause to admire it, instead laying down and closing my eyes. I heard Edward bustling about. I heard plastic make noise and water running. I huffed against my pillow when he gulped loudly.
"What are you doing?" I said in a monotone with my eyes closed.
He hesitated, "Oh… I'm just… watching TV?"
My eyebrows pinched together, "The TV isn't on, weirdo."
"Shit…well I was just about to…" I heard the TV go on.
"And back to you Monty."
I laughed, sitting up to look at the TV, "You're watching the-"
I was cut off by a voice on the screen.
"I-I just… need her back, you can't understand the pain… unless you're going through something as horrible as this… if you see her, she looks like that and her name is Isabella Swan. She responds to Bella… the town and I are pretty sure she was kidnapped by a guy named Edward Cullen. I just want her back…"
Hey, guys! How was this one?
Sorry it was out a little late again… I don't usually wake up early on weekends so it's slower on the weekends…
Pix- So Eddie doesn't have cancer! Oh thank Carlisle. Hmm I would love my very own Sex driver Edward yummy! Hehe. So, I'm going to go and review, but now what are YOU going to do? Review, maybe??
Chapter question- SHOULD I GET A TWITTER ACCOUNT JUST FOR FF SO YOU GUYS CAN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE STORIES? WOULD YOU READ THEM? (Maybe get some spoilers… update times… things like that.)
REVIEW!!!
