Better than myself Part 28
(Sequel to As a Man)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm not making any money, and all the wonderful characters belong to the lovely JE. I would borrow Ranger and maybe Tank, at least Tank as I write him.
Tank's POV
I don't want to talk to her, but I know neither of us have any kind of closure. Lula still doesn't understand why her actions were so hurtful and ended our relationship. She did the right thing by going to Ranger with Mrs. Plum's plan to have Stephanie killed. That could have ended so badly, not just for Stephanie, but the vengeance Ranger would have demanded would have rocked Trenton. I hope this means we can come closer to being friends. I don't make it a habit to leave a trail of broken hearted women in my wake.
The morning of the move, I go over to her one bedroom apartment. It is funny the things that you miss, I have missed this tiny place. It was much too small for people of our size to both occupy, but it she made it very comfortable. I knock on the door; I don't want to try my key. I don't want to know if she still left me free access into her home.
When she answers to door, she looks shocked at first and then smiles, "Tank, I knew you would be back, baby."
I was afraid she would think I was coming back to her. I need to nip that in the bud. I go in and sit on the couch; I gave her this purple couch when we broke the other one. I remember that evening so fondly and how she yelled that I was going to replace it, since I was the one who couldn't wait to get to the bed.
"Lula, I don't know if you knew, but we are all leaving Trenton today. I wanted to personally tell you good-bye. I couldn't leave without seeing you another time."
There is really no reason for me to ever come back here, the only reason I was here is because of Ranger and Rangeman. Once that is gone, I will make a home in Atlanta. From Ranger's plans, I don't think we will be leaving Atlanta once we set up shop there. He is desperate to set up roots also. We have been transient for far too long.
Sitting in her apartment, remembering all the love we shared here. I wanted her to be the woman I set up a home with, the woman that I laid down roots for. But, nothing has changed, she can't respect my family, then she doesn't respect me. I cannot be with a woman who doesn't respect me and my choices.
"Tank, you don't have to leave just because they are leaving. You can stay here with me, without Stephanie and Ranger in the way; I know we can fix this. They don't care about you like I do, no one does."
I think about what she says and I realize that she doesn't get it, she never did. Ranger has always been my brother. Now with Steph and Ella I feel like I have a family again, a home. That is important to me. The more I think about it, Lula doesn't know what that feels like. She has taken care of herself for so long, I don't think she knows what it is like to need other people. I know she has lived a screw or be screwed life for so long, that maybe she doesn't understand loyalty and family.
"I am going, they are my family. I think this move will be good for all of us. "
"Family… Tank, they would drop you in a heartbeat if something better came around. Ranger is your boss, not your `brother' and Steph, is a user. She is using Ranger, just like she used Morelli. Don't you think that she always knew all the dirt Morelli did? Wasn't it convenient that she kept it all inside until Morelli didn't suit her needs? Face it Tank, you and Ranger don't know Stephanie as well as you would think."
I can't start to think like that. I have spent enough time with Stephanie to know that she is not a user. I know Lula thinks everyone uses everyone all the time. I tried to show her that it wasn't true, but I know that unless a person wants to change, you can't change them.
I stand up and give her a hug and hand my key. "Take care of yourself Lula. I really did love you, but I know we have to move on."
She doesn't say anything else; I don't know what I was expecting. I didn't come here for reconciliation, but leaving feels so empty. It feels like I am leaving part of myself behind.
It is time to leave what I wished could have been and go forward towards what is. Camille and I have been talking more about the future and what a future with me would look like. I would never ask her to change the life she is accustomed to, but I don't know if I would feel comfortable openly dating a woman who everyone knew as married. Not just married, married to Ranger's brother.
I know the house that they purchased in Atlanta has a mother in law suite, because she would never want JJ to live apart from his father. Maybe that is a step in a great direction for us. I am not in a hurry, she is a wonderful woman and I want to get to know her so much better.
A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting. Life has gotten crazy since school let out. I will go to once a week posting, unless I get extra time and then that will be a bonus!
Thanks again for everyone who is following and reviewing this story. Next stop Atlanta!
