Better than myself Part 29

(Sequel to As a Man)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm not making any money, and all the wonderful characters belong to the lovely JE. I would borrow Ranger and maybe Tank, at least Tank as I write him.

JJs POV

We are finally here, and I see why some of the research I did, called it Hotlanta. I was hoping that the all of us would love it. But Mom and Dad are acting weird and not answering any questions. I know that there is something going on. I hate when parents act like kids don't know anything and cannot see what is going on around them. Dad is staying in the apartment in one part of the house and Mom is staying with me in the main part of the house. It isn't that bad, I don't think they are fighting. Nothing really has changed with the way they act towards each other. I think they are going to get a divorce, I don't know how I feel about that. I wish they would just be honest with me. And until they decide to tell me the truth, I am going to spend all of my time with Uncle Ranger and Steph.

The apartment that they share on the top floor of the office building is huge. Ranger has the best entertainment system and every DVD I could ever wish for, I think he bought them for me. The office building even has an Olympic sized pool. Bobby has been teaching me how to dive. I always wanted to learn, we just never had time in Boston. I think I am getting pretty good. I have also spent a lot of time in Ella's kitchen. She is the best cookie maker I have ever seen. Not just your normal chocolate chip either, she comes up with the best combos, I am the official taster. The best one so far has been Bacon and Brown butter cookies. It sounds weird but everyone at them up.

Uncle Ranger has been really busy getting things set up, I don't know how businesses work, and he does seem stressed out. He takes time out to teach me self defense moves, I am not as good at that as I am at diving, but I know Ranger loves it. We have also had some great long walks, where he will answer any question I have for him. Even really hard ones about Grandpa. I know he doesn't like to talk about Grandpa, his eyes look far away and his voice is really flat. But there has never been anything that he hasn't answered. He has even showed me some scars that he still has on his back, from some of the things that Grandpa did to him. I know that there are things about Grandpa I don't want to think about, but Uncle R doesn't hold back. I love him for that.

Dad and Uncle Ranger have been spending a lot of time together too. I know it is making up for lost time; it was funny watching Dad try to play basketball. Uncle Ranger was being easy on him because I have watched him play with the rest of the guys and he plays hard. I accidentally walked in on them when they were having a serious talk. I don't know what was said, but it was one of the few times I really saw my Dad cry. I don't understand how he didn't know what happened to Uncle R, when they lived in the same house. But I know better than anyone that you can hide anything you want, especially when no one is looking too close.

Mom has been spending time helping Steph get Arielle's Haven going. I haven't been to the building yet, but I know that Mom is excited about working there. When she told me about the job, she just held me really close to her. I think she is glad that other kids will have places to go when they have trouble. I know not everyone has great parents that will try to help them. I wish Ranger had a place like that to go when he was little. That is probably where he got the idea from. My new counselor is going to work there too. I can't wait until I can stop thinking about Grandpa every day. He is gone, but it just feels like what he did to me is leaving a cloud over all of my happiness. I have talked to my counselor about it, and he says it will never go away; it will get better in time. I don't know if I believe it will get better

I think that fear is what started the panic attacks. It feels like all of the air is sucked out of the room and I can't breathe. I just have to do some deep breathing and I can get through it. Uncle Ranger says that he used to get them all of the time. He surprises me every day with how much he is willing to share with me. I would think that because he is a big strong army guy, he would be embarrassed by things that made him look weak, but with me he says he will never be embarrassed.

Eli is moving next week, not to Atlanta but somewhere an hour away. I knew that Eli would never live in the same place as us. He is so funny about making sure he keeps his own space in the world. I can't wait to have him taste Ella's cookies. He is a big sweet eater and we have polished off many of batches of cookies together.

I miss my sister, but she has her own life so I didn't see much of her anyway. I am sure that in the long run the rest of family being close will be good for everyone. Mom is making new friends, Steph, Ella and Grandma Mazur have practically adopted her. Dad and Ranger are getting closer. I have met great guys at Rangeman who can't wait to teach me all kinds of fun things. Without all of the ghosts from Boston. I see good things in our future.

A/N: I thought it would be good to show Atlanta from JJs point of view first. No one gets as excited as a kid about new things.

Please review, I love to hear what everyone is thinking.