13 – The Boy Who Pet the Tiger
As the first rays of sun bounced off the black lake, Snape turned back to Hogwarts, looking anxious. "Where is she?" He walked along the water's edge looking for Lily and watching the giant squid, which had taken quite an interest in him. "What?" he asked the squid, nowhere near being in earshot of him but still seeming to pick up everything he said. "Are you wondering how you can use me too?" The squid splashed some water his direction as if responding, and then dove back into the deep abyss, only to pop its head up moments later.
The conversation between Dumbledore and Slughorn continued to replay in his mind, reminding him of the time his parents took him to the Spinner's End Carnival. As a young boy, it was the first time he experienced what if felt like to be used, but the story didn't start that way.
His first carnival had started out perfect. It was a cool, sunny day, only slithers of white clouds in the sky, and masses of happy people were gathered in the town square. Elephants were being paraded around, shooting water from their trunks into a crowd of children. There were majestic lions, fierce-looking tigers, and monkeys swinging from bar to bar in their cage. There was a man juggling swords engulfed in flames, freakishly huge clowns walking around on stilts, magicians performing card tricks, and food unlike anything he'd ever eaten at home—cotton candy with a blue and pink swirl, ice cream sodas, caramel popcorn, waffles, gelato, frozen drinks from all colors of the rainbows… Every direction he turned, there was something new for him to see. And for once, his parents, Tobias and Eileen, seemed to have forgotten about their fight earlier in the day. They were all holding hands walking through the crowd in the town center, enjoying the carnival as it was meant to be.
After pestering his parents for an ice cream soda, Snape was surprised to hear Tobias willingly agree. "Why don't you go get him one, Eileen?" There was a gleam in his father's eyes. "I think they're over there." He pointed to the red, neon sign that said Coke Floats in cursive on the other side of the square.
Eileen smiled and patted Snape on the head. "I'll be right back."
When she was a few paces away, Tobias turned to him. "Quick. We don't have a lot of time." He took Snape's hand and walked in the direction of the tigers, the only carnival animals not in the square; they were in the neighboring park, kept in a cage under the very close watch of their keeper, Safari Jim—at least that was the name stitched on his shirt, though he looked more like a Western outlaw, someone who should have a name like Blade or Nighthawk.
"Were you upset at me this morning, Sevy? When the shelf crashed on my head?"
"No," lied Snape. But that was exactly how he'd felt. Tobias had accused Eileen of destroying his favorite Sinatra single, "All of Nothing at All." Where the record once had a picture of Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner, there was a crack separating the lovers and vinyl into two. Tobias blamed the ruined vinyl on Eileen's magic (when it had everything to do with him drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels and stepping on the record himself) and threatened to show her what he would do with her ridiculous hocus pocus. At that moment, a shelf collapsed on his head. He looked directly at Snape, examining him like an investigator would a murder suspect at a crime scene, but before he could say anything, Eileen apologized that it was her fault and she would fix the shelf and record.
"Safari Jim? Hey, Safari Jim?" Tobias called over to the tiger keeper, who was sitting on a stool next to the cage. "One of these tigers ever club you?"
There were three of them, two cubs nestled with their mother, all of them sleeping soundly.
Safari Jim seemed annoyed by the question as if he were asked this every five minutes. "Never. If a tiger respects you, it won't attack."
"I've just got a million questions to ask you. I'm so glad you're here."
Safari Jim didn't want to hear this at all. "Sir, you'll have to ask the other tiger keeper. My shift is over, and I'm getting him now. "
"That's great. We'll just wait here." After Safari Jim walked off, Tobias's eyes regained their gleam. "That was too easy, Sevy, but we have to act fast. I think he's right. If they respect you, they won't hurt you."
"Why do we have to act fast?" asked Snape. "Can't we stay until mom comes back?"
Tobias leaned in closer to him. "I just meant, we need to act fast if you want to be the only boy in your class to pet a tiger." He looked around. The other keeper wasn't in sight, and the rest of the crowd was walking by with an occasional glance but nothing of substantial interest—everyone seemed preoccupied by Caspian the Great, a magician currently handcuffed, getting into a water tank to perform an amazing escape. Caspian was center stage, certainly not the tigers, and Tobias knew it.
Snape was shocked by what his father suggested. Petting a sleeping tiger didn't seem incomprehensible, but what if one—or worse, more than one—awoke and attacked him? But, it would be an amazing story for school. He imagined that instead of walking alone on the playground, the others would be circled around him, intently listening to his tale. He was sure he wouldn't be alone after that—he would be The Boy Who Pet the Tiger.
"We don't have much time, Sevy. Just squeeze between those bars and go pet the mom." Tobias continued to look for the keeper who was nowhere to be seen, and Eileen was still in line for the Coke float across the square. "If those tigers awake, just use some of your magic to keep 'em away." Tobias laughed. "I know you have it in you."
Snape was aware that he was different from the other kids at school, except for maybe Lily Evans, and he knew it had everything to do with inheriting his mom's abilities. This was something he was secretly proud of, and something he never dared talked about, for Tobias blamed everything on Eileen's hocus pocus. In fact, Tobias seemed to downright despise her because of it. This had confused him for a long time, but he was starting to believe his father disliked her magic because she had it and he didn't.
But with the tigers, he wasn't sure if any magic could help him if they awoke. Truth be told, he wasn't sure how he made the shelf crash that morning on his father's head.
"Go now." Tobias pushed him forward.
Snape didn't have time to think it through, and he felt that something or someone else was controlling his body as he slid between the bars into the tiger cage. He was in a deep trance, and his feet were moving him towards the unknown.
The mother was much bigger than she looked from the outside, and the cubs were several times his size as well. Their stripes, so beautifully offset by their orange fur, looked like black lightning. As he inched forward, their chests rose and fell. Any time their eyes fluttered—and it seemed like hundreds—his adrenaline surged.
He was now arm's length from the mother, and just before he reached out his arm to pet her, he heard Tobias. "Come on boy. Show me that magic." His father let out a shrill whistle.
The mother's eyes opened, and his trance vanished. Suddenly, the dreamlike state turned to panic, and he realized that he couldn't move. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't even breathe.
His legs wobbled and he felt like he might vomit, but he refused to unlock his eyes with the tiger's. For some reason, it seemed important that he keep the gaze with her and not show any signs of weakness. After a few moments, he still wasn't sure if the tiger would strike him. It seemed to be waiting for him to make the first move. Somehow, he slowly stuck out his arm and pressed it gently to her fur, stroking it back and forth several times. After doing this for about a minute, he swore that her eyes were smiling at him.
That was until his mother's scream went through the air. She immediately shouted, "Somnus!" A gust of wind shot through the cage, and the tiger shut its eyes, falling back to sleep and nestling up to her cubs.
The hours that followed were a blur. How he left the tiger's cage and made it home to his bed, falling asleep as his parents argued violently, was all a bit of a mystery, but when the sun rose the next day, no one spoke about the incident at the carnival. His parents didn't say much of anything to one another, and it was almost as if everyone had forgotten that he pet the tiger at all.
It had been a long time since Snape thought of that day, and it wasn't until years later that he saw the day for what it really was. His father had used him as bait to see if he had magical powers like his mother, and he never understood what Tobias planned on doing with that knowledge. Maybe he didn't plan on using it for anything in particular at all; he just wanted another reason to remain bitter and take things out on his mother and him. Whatever the reason, the carnival incident had always left him feeling hollow—left him feeling used.
Now Dumbledore was using him as bait to see what Voldemort was up to.
Snape paced furiously on the water's edge and kicked some of the sand into the lake. Voldemort was trying to make a secret pact with him whereas Dumbledore was keeping secrets from him. "It's a load of witch's brew," he said out load. He wasn't sure why Dumbledore's conversation with Slughorn was infuriating him, but he couldn't stop thinking about it.
If it weren't for the red pigtails quickly approaching the black lack, he probably would have thought about it all day. "Severus! Severus!" Lily called out to him. "I'm sorry I'm late. You'll never believe this!"
"Is everything okay?"
She stopped to catch her breath. "Yes, it's fine." She handed him a book, the top right had a warning emblazoned on its cover: RESTRICTED SECTION ONLY. Beneath this, it showed that the book was checked out the previous day, and before that, it was checked out over ten years ago.
Snape raised an eyebrow. "You stole a book from the Restricted Section of the library?"
Lily shrugged. "It was worth the risk. It only took a simple banishing charm to get it out. Look at page ninety-four."
He opened the book, and there were several handwritten notes on that page. His eyes widened a little as he came to the bottom. "I'm presuming these aren't your notes?"
She nodded. "They're not mine."
"If they're not yours, then someone wrote these over ten years ago?"
"Yes. And you won't believe who. It was—"
"Wait. How can you be sure? You have proof?"
Lily showed him her welcome letter to Hogwarts and placed it next to the notes in the book—the handwriting was identical. At the bottom of the welcome letter was the signature Albus Dumbledore.
"This can't be," said Snape, shaking his head in disbelief. The headmaster's writing practically came to life and jumped off the page:
Two more doppelganger roots needed for the 4th curse, The Dark Tourist.
