"Ichigo, wake up!"

Ichigo was drawn out of his relaxing sleep by the whispered voice, and groaned loudly. "What? What do you want right now?" he asked without opening his eyes.

Rukia was kneeling by his bedside impatiently, her own sleepiness making it difficult to argue with the stupid orange-head. Poking him in the side, she reminded him, "Baka, it's three in morning, you need to leave for training now so nobody notices!"

Ichigo groaned again as he remembered what day it was. Yeah, Rukia was right, he needed to get up but damn his bed was comfortable. Sighing noisily, he swung the covers off himself and onto Rukia's head as he climbed out. Walking over to his desk he unlocked a drawer and pulled out his shinigami representative badge, then looked around his room as if to take a mental picture. I'm gonna miss this place while I'm gone he thought, but it seems like I'm forgetting something...

He didn't have time to remember though, as Rukia finally pulled the covers off her head and threw them at him. A nerve pulsed on her forehead as she whisper-shouted, "Baka, your covers smell worse than a hollow! Don't throw them on me!"

The two glared at eachother, their sleepiness not helping their moods at all. Before either could speak, however, a short knock on the window got their attention. Looking over they saw Shinji upside down with a lop-sided grin, holding a squirming Kon.

"Kon! That's what I was forgetting!" Ichigo slapped his forehead. Without Kon his body would just lay on the floor and look dead, which would be difficult to explain when he returned. The lion plushie jerked at that and starting ranting.

"Ichigo, you orange-haired ogre! How dare you throw me out the window so you could have Nee-san all to yourself! And then you forgot about me?" he whined.

Shinji tossed him on the bed as he swung in through the window. "So, Ichigo, ya ready ta get outta here and train? Ya know Hiyori misses ya, 'specially after the other night..." he teased, looking around the room with joking eyes. "This yer room? Eh, I woulda thought a big'un like yerself woulda needed a little more space. Yer gettin fat since ya stopped trainin, y'know."

Ichigo snorted, "Give it a rest, Shinji, and keep your voice down dammit, if my dad hears anything in this room he'll think things I don't wanna hear about. Plus, he can't know I'm leaving!"

Rukia nodded in agreement. She knew all too well what sorts of thoughts Isshin had in his perverted brain. And she had caught Shinji trying to look down girls shirts when he was in their class, too... Men, they're all the same.

"Eh? Your old man, Isshin? Why not?" Shinji's question stunned them.

"Wha-What? You know my dad?" Ichigo fell back in shock as his mind raced. Suddenly he remembered a particular moment, one that he'd cast off as nothing.

The hollow growled. "Screw you, King. My name's Ogihci Abihs. Yeah, it's your name spelt backwards, but guess what? That's my name."

Ichigo turned a curious eye as he twisted what he was certain was a doorknob. "Abihs? That spells..."

"Shiba," Ogihci interrupted. "Yeah, your old man's a liar. If you were better at sensin Reiatsu maybe you woulda figured it out, dumbass."

"My dad's a shinigami!" he exclaimed, a wide grin replacing his shocked look. "Oh, that old pervert doesn't think I know! I'm gonna kick his ass!" Ichigo said, pounding his fist into his hand.

Rukia was still confused. It wouldn't be possible for Isshin to be a shinigami, she would have detected him by now! The only shinigami capable of hiding themselves from her senses were the captains, so either Ichigo was wrong or... No way! Kurosaki-sama might be an ex-captain? I don't remember anyone looking like him though...

Shinji just smiled and tossed Kon on the ground. "Lion-o, I think you should explain to'em," he suggested to the plush-toy.

All eyes were on Kon, who closed his eyes and proudly recounted the story of how he'd been saved from Grand Fisher by the elder Kurosaki, who also had a captain's haori. He was in the middle of explaining how he had valiantly held off the Arrancar until Isshin arrived, protecting beautiful women and valley goddesses from harm when a loud yell interupted him.

"Ah-HAH! You bastard, you thought you could hide shit like this from me, huh?" Ichigo yelled from inside his dad's room. He had left halfway through Kon's story to go confront his dad. Sounds of a scuffle could be heard, with Isshin making muffled yells as Ichigo laughed maniacally. "I'm gonna hold this over your head forever, old man! You hear me? A fucki-OOF!"

"Language, my son, language! Don't want to teach those grandbabies growing inside my third-daughter any foul words, do we?" Isshin managed to break free just as Shinji, Rukia, Kon, and the newly awakened Yuzu and Karin opened the door. What they saw could not be unseen, unfortunately.

Isshin was in nothing but his custom-printed Masaki boxer-briefs, sitting on Ichigo's face, smiling as he braced himself against the wall. Ichigo's body was flapping wildly, trying to get free from such an awkward position. Isshin broke into wild laughter as a small fart released on Ichigo's face. The next thing anyone knew, Ichigo had used his substitute badge to escape his body and was coughing heavily.

"A-Ack! What the hell you freak?"

Isshin didn't reply immediately, but stood up and brushed himself off. Flashing a smile to the small crowd gathered in his room, he got serious.

"Ah, my son... I suppose it is time stopped hiding things from you... But first, Shinji?" he looked from the Vizard leader to his two daughters pointedly. Shinji nodded and with a flash the two girls were knocked out, their memories erased by one of Urahara's inventions.

"Thank you, Shinji. Rukia-chan, Ichigo, you deserve an explanation." Isshin looked over at the massive framed portrait of Masaki hanging over his bed. He had really hoped that their children would be spared from involvement in Soul Society's business, but apparently fate had other plans. Oh, Masaki, I am sorry about this...

Ichigo sat down on the floor and pulled Rukia down next to him. "Go on, old man, start talkin'!"

"I'm a shinigami, Ichi-"

"I KNEW IT!" the younger Kurosaki interrupted triumphantly. Rukia knocked him on the head and signaled to shut up.

"Eh? Thank you, Rukia-chan. As I was saying before my bull-headed son rudely interrupted, I'm a shinigami, and..." he paused for dramatic effect, "A former captain."

Silence.

"What? You aren't surprised?" he asked curiously. He was certain they'd be stunned by that news. Damn, I waited forever to do this and they aren't even surprised?

Ichigo snorted. "Yeah, right. Like an idiot like you could be a captain? You can't even win against a locked door!"

"That was one time! Besides, it's true! Shinji, tell him it's true!" Isshin whined.

Shinji shrugged. "Yeah, he was a cap'n back when I was. I dunno how he got the job, right, but he was a cap'n anyways."

Isshin grinned. "Shinji and I had our share of adventures with Urahara, eh, Hara-kun?"

Shinji's glared as he ordered, "Told ya not ta call me that, Shiba-dono"

"Shinji! You gave away my se-!"

"Would you just finish your story, dammit?" Ichigo shouted, no longer worrying about the neighbors.

Isshin turned back to the pair on the floor and continued, occasionally shooting looks towards Shinji, miffed about ruining the part about his last name.

"Well, as you could probably guess thanks to certain people and their loose lips, I'm not actually Kurosaki Isshin. I'm Shiba Isshin, and I'm the former captain of Eleventh squad. The Greatest Kenpachi of them all! That's what they called me!" he said proudly.

Ichigo and Rukia sweatdropped. This buffoon had been the captain of 11th squad? What if Soul Society had been attacked? He was supposed to help defend?

Isshin checked his watch as he explained his story, and stopped. "Ichigo, it's time to go. The Onmitsukido patrol comes at daybreak, in an hour. You need to get into the Vizard hideout before then."

"W-wait! You haven't explained shit! Why'd you leave Soul Society? Why haven't you been helping out? How come Rukia's never noticed you before?" Ichigo asked, then asked the one question Isshin knew he had been waiting to ask his whole life. "Why didn't you protect mom that night?" the son asked the father, with his voice cracking slightly.

Isshin sighed. "Ichigo, I promise you, I will explain in due time. I just wanted this to be a short explanation today. I'll come visit you while you train, of course. We can talk then."

Shinji tapped Ichigo on the shoulder, "Oi, time ta go, aight? Stick that mod soul in your body and say g'bye, it'll be bout a month."

Rukia and Ichigo stood up, Rukia still looking in awe at Isshin, Ichigo glaring, and after popping Kon into the shell of Ichigo's body they walked back to his room to prepare.

As soon as they got in his room, Ichigo shut the door and sighed. He looked over at Rukia and flashed a smirk.

"What?" she asked.

"Heh, you have to deal with that dumbass while I'm gone, and you're gonna have to watch Kon. It's just funny tryin to picture a midget dealin wit-OW HEY!"

Rukia glared up at Ichigo, her fist three inches into his gut. "Baka, you'd think you could be a little nicer since I will be taking care of this place while you're gone!"

Ichigo winced, then asked, "That reminds me, Rukia, how are you gonna take care of things on your own? No offense, but you still have school and there are a lot of hollows that show up."

"Fool, don't you remember who was in the room when you woke up at Urahara's?"

Ichigo looked up as he went through the names, "Inoue, Ishida, Chad, you, Urahara... Well Urahara's never been much help, and the others have scho-"

"Renji!" Rukia shouted. "Renji was there! He's going to help. Golly, you'd think you would remember his hair at least, fool."

Ichigo couldn't help but laugh, "Okay, wait. Golly? You know nobody says that anymore, right? And Renji? Really? That dumbass couldn't beat me back when I was weaker than the hollows that are showin up, how's he gonna beat the hollows now?"

Rukia mumbled something about getting stronger, but Ichigo wasn't listening.

"On top of that, doesn't he need one of those visor thingies to find anything?"

Rukia huffed. "No, he doesn't, now stop talking and leave!"

Ichigo held up his hands in protest as she began pushing him towards to window. His heel caught on something on the floor and he tumbled backwards with a yell, falling backwards out of his window and hitting the ground with a loud thump. Rukia stood staring out the window with her "schoolgirl" smile plastered on her face, waving dramatically.

"Bye-bye, Ichigo! Have fun training and becoming stronger! Don't come back til you aren't weak!" she teased.

Ichigo pushed himself up just as Shinji turned the corner, the bag of Ichigo's things in his hand.

"Ne, Ichigo, that girlie really has the hots for ya, huh?"

Ichigo shook his head, "What? As if. Why, are girls supposed to ALMOST KILL YOU when they like you?" he said, shouting up at the open window. Before he could walk away, a book flew out the window and cracked into his skull.

Nerves pulsed in his forehead as he picked up the dusty tome, and Rukia's voice called out from his room.

"You might want that! I saw you reading it yesterday..."

Shakespeare: The Complete Works... Huh... Guess the midget can be nice after all. "Hey, Rukia? Be sure to take care of my family."

With that, and one last look at his home, Ichigo flashed away with his new mentor, ready for more of what he knew would be the toughest training of his life.

Meanwhile, Rukia sat in Ichigo's room alone. It felt weird without him already, since his reiatsu was almost always surrounding her.

"Eh, at least I finally get the bed."