Chapter 6: The Feelings Mutual
As I approached the table, all eyes were on us. My table, (along with the remaining cafeteria) frozen, mouth agape. However, Rosalie and Jasper looked mad. Their expression read more of betrayal, while Alice and Emmett looked happy and relieved. Though I wasn't quite sure how correct my assumptions were. But none of that truly mattered to me. I was walking towards heaven on Earth. The room could have been on fire around me and all I would have seen was her smile.
I slid into the chair directly opposite her, and cleared my throat before speaking, She suddenly looked shy and nervous. At lest we had that in common.
"So are you ready for the gossip that is sure to follow today," I asked as jokingly as I could.
"Well, I was hoping we could make all the rumors true." I didn't know if she was being funny or serious, but it was exactly what I wanted to hear.
Suddenly, a feeling of complete easy came over me. My nervousness was gone, and I felt as if I was having lunch with an old friend, rather than the long awaited love of my life. Bella looked over at her usual table, shaking her head and laughing silently. Would I ever know what that was about?
"So are your brothers going to beat me up for taking you away from them?"
"No. They know I can't stay away from you anymore. Besides I think you can handle yourself. You seemed to do quite well this morning."
"Why had you been trying to stay away? I would have welcomed your company."
"Really, is that so? You look like the suffer in silence and alone type."
"I guess I am, but I would have made an exception for you."
"I wish I had known that a week ago."
"I wish I wasn't scared to say something to you a week ago. Now I feel like I can't go another day without hearing your voice. I may go insane."
"Well lets not test that theory. While you are concerned with my brothers, should I be concerned with your two girlfriends who have not yet to take their eyes off of us since you sat down?"
At first I was confused, not knowing who she meant. My eyes glanced over at my previous table, a table I had no intentions on ever going back too, to see Jessica and Lauren staring at the two of us. I bent my head, laughing.
"No, trust me they don't hold a candle to you."
"Yeah, for some reason I wasn't really concerned." We both laughed at that. Emmett, Alice, and Angela seemed to enjoy what appeared to be happy banter between Bella and I. Rosalie, Jasper, Jessica, and Lauren each looked as if they could tare both our heads off. Bella seemed to notice the divide also. I was suddenly sadden when the bell rang; our hour was up, and though we were both headed to Mr. Varner's Biology class, I knew we wouldn't be able to talk like this. I was already addicted to her voice, and laugh, and I didn't want our time to end.
"Shall we," I asked as I notice the cafeteria was empty, besides us. I didn't care if I was late; I would have left that very moment if she wanted too!
Our walk to Biology was quiet, and I suddenly felt nervous again, but I didn't know why. Bella and I sat down at our usual table taking turns looking at each other. I wanted to touch her. I wanted her to sit closer. I wanted to make her laugh, not only to make her happy, but to feed my addiction for the sound of her voice. I could tell she wanted to say something to me also, but I didn't know what was holding her back. Just at lunch it seemed we had no need to second guess ourselves, our obvious feelings for each other. Now we were both a ball of nerves. Final bell rang just as Mr. Varner rolled in the old TV/VCR. The class was in an up roar. Mr. Varner mentioned what we were watching, but I couldn't hear over the excited screams of my classmates. Or maybe it was because I was so concentrated on Bella, who was staring straight back into my eyes.
The lights went off but I could still see Bella's face. Suddenly, there was a pull in my chest that would have sent me hurdling on to her if I hadn't grasped for the edge of the table. I sat there; playing tug of war with some unseen force, and honestly it was winning. Could Bella feel it too? She seemed distracted from whatever was on the television, yet she couldn't look at me. By the time the class was halfway over I was only sitting an inch from her, and her intoxicating scent swirled around me. I though I would offend her, being so close, but she only smiled at me, and continued to stare into my eyes. Was she doing this? My attraction to her was so strong that trying to move literally hurt. She seemed happy, and I stopped fighting it. We were no way near paying attention to the TV screen, as our bodies were completely facing each other, all but touching. I wondered how we looked to everyone else. I was so lost in her eyes, her smell, the coolness of her breath; I couldn't hear the thoughts of the rest of the class around us. It was too painful to look away from her. We never said a word to each other but it seemed we knew more now about one another than ever before.
Suddenly, the light was back on and a matter of seconds later the bell rang. Mr. Varner shouted we would continue the movie tomorrow. I only looked forward to sitting with her like this again. And again. And again. And again.
"Wow, that was . . . interesting," I said trying to figure out why I sounded so exhausted and out of breath, as if I had been running.
"Yeah . . . ," she said never taking her eyes off mine. "I've got to go. I'll see you later?"
"Yes, of coarse! Please." Ooh great, now I was begging. She almost ran out of the class to a waiting Alice.
After school I didn't know if I should wait on her or not. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to feel that pull I felt in Biology. I stood outside my car, almost pacing. Leave or wait? I turned to wave goodbye to Erick, who called my name from across the lot.
"I am glad you hadn't left." I turned, hardly disappointed, knowing the source of my sudden inability to take steady breaths.
"I didn't know if I should or not. I hope I didn't upset you earlier. If so, I apologize."
"No, not at all. I . . . enjoyed Biology today." We both smiled. I wanted to brush my hand along her cheek. I had been yarning to touch her since the day I met her. But my arms felt like lead – unmovable.
"Well, I better get to my family. See you tomorrow."
"Can't wait."
That is when I began to dream about Isabella Cullen:
It started as a typical day in the parking lot of Forks High School. As our eyes met, the humming of voices and cars around us disappeared. I could feel the pull in my chest again, but I didn't fight it. This time I allowed it to pull me to her. As we approached, closer to one another, things faded to black. There were no cars. There was no objecting eyes or whispers. There was only us, surrounded by total aloneness, as she was finally in my arms. While she approached with great eagerness, she was suddenly very still, almost afraid. I went to touch her cheek, as I longed to do since I laid eyes on her. She closed her eyes, but she looked too sad. As my hand fell upon her face, she felt hard as stone and cold – too cold. She looked even more sad. I brushed away a lose strand of her hair from her face and stared into her deep black eyes. There was a pain there that I couldn't soothe away from her.
"I promise to never leave you Isabella Cullen."
With that the scene changed to all white, as I leaned down to kiss her lips. Time stood still . . . .
. . . except in reality where my alarm clock sounded.
I was sad that not even in my dreams was I able to kiss her full lips. But I quickly cheered up as I knew I would soon see her. For the last week, she would come running to me as soon as Rosalie stopped the car. She would let me walk her to, and from, classes and we would sit together at lunch. Only thing we hadn't done was touched. I often time tried to hold her hand, but she always pulled away. My heart would sink every time.
Today, I vowed to change that.
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