Months went by, slow, silent, and lonely months. Everyday the same, nothing ever changed, not anymore. He never got those late night visits, a good morning smile and kiss, hands together as they walked into the school yard.

Nothing anymore.

It was all lost. Every shred of hope, lost.

Why did this happen? Why now? So early—He had so much more to live for, they're only 17, they were together for two years, could you believe that? Neither could he.

And with one fatal strike, it was gone.

Just a distant memory, nothing else now.

Sure, he kept items that Kid had giving him, hell, that day he had carried the Reaper back, he kept that shirt—His own, blooded, but that's not why.

It still smelt like him. Passed all the irony scent of the blood, it had the scent of Kid. No, he couldn't explain the smell, of course not, it was unique, all of it's own. He had that shirt, wrapped up and hanging in his closet, Black Star told him it was creepy and he had to throw it out—But of course he didn't listen, because no one else understood why.

But he just couldn't get rid of it.

Now here he was, months later, locked up in his room like any other night—Why? Because grief was setting in again. It'd been so long, why couldn't he just get over it?

It wasn't fair! Why'd they take him? Why him out of everybody—He had so much more, he was in line to take his fathers place, to be the next Lord Death, he had so much he wanted to do, hell, he'd admitting to Soul that he wouldn't mind spending the rest of his life with him—

Oh…

Now he understands.

The smile, that one, ominous smile that sat to his features even in death, he understood why now.

Because he had spent the rest of his life with the weapon, down to his dying mark. He was right there, beside him, holding his hand and begging for him to live, just to hold on until they got him medical attention.

Now it all made sense…

Feeling his heart sink down to the pit of his stomach hands slammed onto the wall, head ducking down as tears dripped out of crimson hues, fingers curling into to make fists as he just sobbed. He didn't care how loud he was, if his partner could hear him, or even the neighbors—He just couldn't hold it in anymore. His whole body shook, breaths being taking in quick and shaky, eyes squeezing shut as he let out one, rippling yell of agony and pure heartache.

The one he entrusted his heart with—No, not his soul even, but his heart, was gone, and Soul understood everything now.