I don't own HP or Alice in Wonderland. Enjoy.


Eileen followed Cheshire until she saw a large set of tables. To her astonishment, the scene looked like déjà vu to her. She shrugged it off as she saw the three occupants of the table – Mally the dormouse, the March Hare, and who she could only assume was the Mad Hatter – waking up from their various stupors.

The dormouse appeared from a teacup, yawning loudly for her size, the eyeball of the bandersnatch resting on her hindquarters. The March Hare stretched before noticing she was there and began stuttering. The Mad Hatter was the last to awaken, and his eyes seemed to light up like emeralds, and Eileen recalled the words of her rescuer.

"He has my eyes you know, and my orange hair. I had him at the end of my child-bearing years. He was my only one, and now… I'm the last Hightopp… our family is doomed, and the last of the hatters for the queen…"

Eileen considered that this man was her son, but before she could do so for long, he was up and standing on the table, making his way towards her by walking across it and knocking teapots and cups every which way.

"Watch what you're doing!" Mally yelled angrily as he did so.

"It's you," he breathed as he reached the end and leapt down looking at her.

"No it's not!" Mally protested. "McTwisp brought us the wrong Eileen!"

"It's the wrong Eileen?" the Hare asked as he yanked down on his ears and his eyes widened in horror.

"It's absolutely Eileen," the hatter said assuring them. "You're absolutely Eileen, I'd know you anywhere. I'd know him anywhere!"

Mally and the Hare giggled and laughed (respectively) at his words.

"Well, as you can see, we're still having tea, and it's all because I was obliged to kill time waiting for your return. You're terribly late you know – naughty," he scolded gently as he picked her up and carried her across the table and set her down beside him on a set of books. "Well, anyway, time became quite offended and stopped altogether. Not a tick ever since."

Cheshire cat appeared as the hatter said offended, startling the March Hare into flinching and jumping slightly in his seat and ramming his cup on the table without realizing it. The March Hare began laughing at the hatter's words before noticing something and frowning.

"Cup," he said sadly.

"Time can be funny in dreams," Eileen said.

"Yes, yes, of course, but now you're back you see, and we need to get on to the Frabjous day," the hatter said.

"Frabjous tea time!" the hare and dormouse rejoiced before giggling and laughing.

"I'm investigating things that begin with the letter M," the hatter said thoughtfully before turning to Eileen and leaning towards her. "Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?"

"Down with the Bloody Big Head!" the hare, dormouse, and hatter spat and said, respectively, in unison.

"What?" Eileen asked incredulously.

"Down with the bloody big head, bloody big head being the Red Queen," the cat explained calmly as he tapped his spoon on the edge of his cup.

"Come, come, we simply must commence with the slaying and such! And therefore it is high time to forgive and forget, or forget and forgive – whichever comes first, or as in any case, of most convenience! I'm waiting," he said quickly and pulled out a pocket-watch and stared at it.

"It's-it's ticking again," the March Hare said as he pulled his out of his teacup and looked at it as it ticked loudly before he put it back in the tea.

"All this talk of blood and slaying has put me off my tea."

"Well, the entire world is falling to ruin. And, poor Chessie is off his…tea," Hatter drawled as he fidgeted with something in front of him.

"What happened that day was not my fault," he retorted, and the entire area became suddenly quiet as the hatter darkly stood up with his emerald eyes turning a bright orange and black shadows were created immediately under his eyes as his whole countenance darkened.

"Oh dear," the March Hare murmured quietly as he shrank back into his chair to hide.

"You ran out on them to save your own skin, you guddler's scuttish pilgar lickering Bar lom muck egg brimni -!" the hatter began darkly and quietly, raising his voice to the point that he could be heard a ways away.

"Hatter!" Mally yelled, and he immediately stopped short and his countenance returned to the normal that it had been when he'd seen Eileen. The black shadows were gone now, to be replaced with a bright baby blue above his eyes and a baby pink below them.

"Thank you," hatter said strained.

"Ooh, meow," the Hare smirked.

"I'm fine," the hatter snapped.

"What's wrong with you, Tarrant? You used to be the light of the party! You used to do the best Fudderwacken in all of wits end!" Chessie smirked as he tapped his spoon against his teacup some more.

"Fudder-what?" Eileen asked curiously.

"Fudderwacken!" the Hare grinned stupidly as he stood up.

"It's a dance," Mally explained as the Hare started dancing.

"On the Frabjous day, when the White Queen once again wears the crown. – on that day, I shall Fudderwacken vigorously," Tarrant said with a smirk as he stalked around the room, growling out this last word and Harry and Mally and the Hare laughed maniacally.

Within seconds they were hearing a horse's neighing in the midst of their laughter.


I'm sure you all know what happens next. But, anyhow, I simply loved this scene in the movie, and just couldn't bear to change it!

Please tell me what you think. As an un-birthday present?