Disclaimer

Macross is owned by or licensed to lots of people - Tatsunoko Studios, Harmony Gold, Studio Nue, Streamline Video...note that none of them are me.

The same can be said of Ranma 1/2 - Rumiko Takahashi, Kitty, Shonen Sunday Comics, Viz Video. Not me.

I didn't create any of them, and I certainly do not own them. Any use of them in this story is meant as nothing more than tribute. Please don't sue me.


Wednesday's Child

Thirty: The Expeditionary Force

March 14th, 2012

"It is a shame that things didn't work out for you and your lady friend," said Nodoka.

Ranma shrugged. "We were good friends before, and we're trying to stay good friends now. We gave it a shot, and it didn't work. What more can we do?"

"At least you remained friendly," said Nodoka. "More than can be said for your father and I."

"Yeah, but unlike Pops, Misa ain't an idiot."

"That's not very nice, Ranma." She paused. "Unfortunately true, but still not very nice." She paused to sip her tea. "So at the moment, there is no woman in your life?"

"No."

"Why not?" asked Nodoka. "Surely you are enough man for any woman out there."

"The question is, are any of them enough woman for me?" Ranma shrugged. "Misa comes the closest, of all the women I've met, but she's just too...clingy, I guess. She gets jealous easily, and she holds grudges."

"And Akane didn't?"

Ranma snorted. "Akane had a gold medal in jealousy, and a silver in grudge-holding. But she never gave up, and she always wanted to be the best. Misa doesn't have that sort of competitive spirit." He bit his lip. "Well, she does, but not the same way."

"And the difference is critical?"

"I'm afraid so." He sighed.

"Well, surely you must know some other ladies."

"Well, there's Claudia, but she's not really my type, and I'm not really her type..." Ranma snorted. "Plus, there's the little detail that she was engaged to my best friend, who was shot down during the war."

"There's Minmay."

Ranma rolled his eyes. "Please, Mom. Minmay's young enough to be my daughter. Plus the fact that she's about as unlike me as you can possibly get."

"She worships the ground you walk on."

"And that's just a lot creepy, okay?" He shuddered.

"And there's Nabiki."

"I've already been engaged to her, all right? Longest week of my life. Plus, I've already married a Tendo, so the agreement's fulfilled."

"Yes, she told me the story."

There was a single knock at the door, and it opened. "Master."

Ranma looked up. "Yeah, Milia?"

Milia already wore her battle suit, her helmet cradled in the crook of her arm. "Commanders Jenius and Ichigyo await you in the jeep. We are at minus fifty minutes, and it will require ten minutes to reach the space port."

"Gimme a few minutes, okay?"

"Do not take too long. Commander Jenius is becoming irritating." She turned and stepped out, closing the door behind her.

"Who was that?"

"Hm?" Ranma glanced back at his mother. "Milia Fallyna. Assault Leader, and one of my students."

"She's lovely!"

Nodoka had a familiar look in her eyes, and Ranma decided to head her off. "Okay, three problems with that, Mom." He raised a finger. "She is a student of mine." A second finger. "She's also quite young—in fact, we recently found out she's younger than Minmay." A third finger. "She's Zentraedi."

"Zentraedi?" Nodoka blinked. "Wasn't she a bit short to be a Zentraedi?"

"Long story. Nabiki can fill you in." He stood up, and grabbed his duffel. "I'd love to stay and chat, but unfortunately, duty calls."

"Well, it's been good to see you again, Ranma, even if only for a few days." Nodoka stood and bowed to her son. "Good luck on your next mission."

Ranma grinned. "What's with the bowing?" He grabbed his mother in a bear hug, getting a surprised squeak out of her. "Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it. Then we can finish our conversation."

"I'm looking forward to it," she said.


The booster rocket was a large, unpleasant-looking piece of hardware. Four separate rocket motors, containing fuel tanks and other auxiliary equipment, were strapped to a coupling system designed to attach to a Valkyrie's hull. He'd never used one before, even on a check flight, and was uncertain of his checklist.

Luckily, Chief Warrant Officer Bell understood it fully.

"We've completed every pre-flight check up to number eighty-seven," she was saying. "The remaining forty-four have to be done during countdown, starting at T minus ten minutes. For the last twenty-seven, you have to be in the front office."

"Okay." Ranma examined his helmet, then pulled it on and strapped it in place. He took the clipboard, and started going through the list himself. Bell did not comment; it was not a sign of mistrust in her competence. No pilot would consider flying any hardware that he hadn't personally checked over, just as no skydiver would use a chute he hadn't personally packed.

"Looks good," he said as he reached the last ticked item. "You pull the pins at T minus three minutes. How are you getting upstairs?"

"Conventional shuttle," she said. "I wouldn't even dream of letting you fly this mission without my help."

He might be the pilot, but Bell owned the airplane.

"We'll be making a longer burn," she continued, "but with a lower acceleration. Overall, it'll place our arrival window about three hours after yours."

"And a launch window of...?"

"Two hours and fifteen minutes after you." She shrugged. "The Zentraedi commander has moved to low earth orbit, to facilitate the rendezvous. If he hadn't done that, we'd have to wait until tomorrow, and our flight time would have been about fifteen hours."

"Damn civil of him," observed Ranma. Bell laughed.

"You don't know the half of it. That orbit is gonna play hell with his fuel consumption ratios, and it isn't so good for the ship's space frame, either."

"You're right, Chief. I don't know the half of it. Nor will I ever understand it." He glanced down the flight line, at the other eighteen Valkyries present. All Skull Squadron birds. Switchblade still had her Jolly Rogers markings, but he'd not flown as part of the Skull for over a month.

For that matter, he was kind of surprised that Switchblade hadn't been reassigned. Technically, it was part of the Rogers' pool, but Ichigyo had given his replacement an unassigned Jaybird, and left Switchblade untouched.

Just as well. The YF-4 wasn't yet certified, the prototype needed work, and the Rogers wouldn't be able to co-ordinate with him, given the Lightning's new avionics. Better to be in a familiar bird; better still that it was Switchblade, rather than forcing him to learn a new bird's quirks and gripes.

He waved towards Ichigyo as the young Commander made his way to Skull One. Luckily, Max was still in command of the Diamondbacks, and would not be accompanying them on this trip. Not that Ranma disliked Max, but his continued disbelief in the curse was proving to be an irritant.

The PA system blared, and Misa's voice rang out. "T minus ten minutes."

"Okay," said Bell. "Fuel systems visual inspection."

Ranma nodded, and waited for her to point out the fuel systems, so that he knew what to inspect.


"T minus one minute."

"Avionics active."

"Guidance check." Bell was now in the bunker, still going through the checklist with him by radio. Ranma checked his INS, compared that to the GPS feed, and instructed the computer to solve the burn equations itself.

"All guidance systems concur. I have guidance lock."

"Elevating."

Switchblade shuddered, and began to rise, nose pointing skywards. The landing gear were already fully retracted.

The airplane finished its rotation, and he began checking the INS gyros again. "My angle of departure is thirty-nine point three five degrees."

"Recompute."

He was already doing so. "Navigation computer confirms departure angle, and main burn is recomputed. Match with ground computer and with mission control to six places."

Tell-me-three-times was a standard procedure. The odds of finding an error were much greater when the answer were computed three times rather than only twice, or—unthinkable!—once. Also, finding the failed component was much easier—simply look for the single wrong answer.

"T minus thirty seconds."

"Check cabin atmospheric pressure."

"Pressurized to one point two atmospheres, thirty percent oxygen."

"Confirm hands off stick."

He held both hands up to the camera.

"T minus ten...nine...eight..."

"Ignition systems active."

He couldn't see them, as the massive humps of the booster's rocket motors blocked his line of sight, but large flares—duplicates in all but size to the sparklers he'd played with as a child—were ignited by electrical fuses. They were spitting sparks and hot gas back and forth around the rocket nozzles. This was the part that really worried him; all that fire and crap around the tail of his ship, that was currently loaded down with hydrogen and liquid oxygen...

"Main engine ignition."

"Three...two...one...liftoff."

The acceleration build, slowly pushing him back into the seat, and he gritted his teeth in the "straining on the toilet" maneuver used by pilots and astronauts since the second World War. Even then, the three gees of constant acceleration were enough to cause his vision to fade a bit around the edges. And it wasn't angular gees, such as a pilot experienced during maneuvers, with their short durations, but a constant pressure against him, making him feel four times his normal weight.

You can take this...only seventy-five seconds at full boost.

It seemed to last an hour, and the acceleration was only increasing as the booster burned off fuel mass, but finally, it began to taper off.

"Main engine cut-off."

He shook his head to clear it, and glanced at the rear-view mirror above his head. The booster had propelled itself, and Switchblade, to just under five and a half thousand kilometers per hour—mach 4.6—and he was already forty-five kilometers down range of the launch site. More importantly, his altitude was now thirty-seven thousand meters, and Switchblade was in free-fall.

"Ten seconds to booster separation."

He quickly checked the computer, then the cluster of indicator lights. "My board is green for separation."

The jet shuddered, as the booster rocket was blasted free. The computer consulted its memories, waited fifteen seconds, then started the fusion engines.

"Elmendorf, my engines are burning on schedule, and my vector looks clean. ETA with the Zentraedi flagship is one point nine hours."

"Roger that, Switchblade. Enjoy the trip. For your in-flight movie, we have The Matrix, starring Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburne."

He snorted at Bell's tongue-in-cheek humour...then roared with laughter as his central MFD began playing the movie, as promised.


It took him an hour-long burn, and a third of his available reaction mass, to reach sufficient overtake on the Zentraedi ship, and about thirty minutes of coasting once that speed had been reached. He could see it growing large in his canopy well before the computer tumbled his fighter to face away from it. A short burn later, and he had matched velocity with the massive battlewagon. The computer checked his location against the NAVSTAR satellites, the INS, and the beacons on the flagship, before deciding he had the proper velocity and location, and finally turned control of the ship back over to him.

The Rogers had arrived more or less at the same time as he. Ichigyo's face cut off the ending credits of the movie as he opened the Tac Net to general broadcast.

"All Skulls, land on the lift-lock at seven hundred meters from the prow—there's a Zentraedi in a space suit there, he'll lead us in. Ranma, you might as well land there too."

"Gee, thanks, Boss."

The Valkyries reconfigured to GERWALK and swept down on the Zentraedi soldier. Upon touchdown, they reconfigured to Battroid Mode. Ranma was the senior officer present; he walked his Valkyrie up to the Zentraedi and offered a U. N. Spacy Salute.

"Permission to come aboard?"

"Permission granted." The Zentraedi's Basic was halting, and the audio over the poor-quality radio with which his suit was equipped was full of static. He produced a hand-held device of some sort, and twisted a control.

The lift-lock descended into the Zentraedi ship, taking all twenty people below. Overhead, the hatch sealed itself.

"Adding air will take two mil, Miclones. Please wait until then to dismount."

"Thank you, soldier." He couldn't see any rank markings on this clown. He also had no idea what a mil was, but decided that he could count on the Zentraedi to let him know when it was safe.


"Commander Saotome." The giant alien bowed formally to Ranma, despite their more than considerable difference in height. "I understand that I have met you before...though I have difficulty believing the tale."

"Commander Vwritlai." Ranma bowed to him in return. "It's been a long time since we last met."

"And greetings to the rest of your intrepid crew," continued Vwritlai. "Commander Saotome was the only one present who was at the interrogation, but I understand that you two—" He indicated Misa and Hikaru. "—showed up to rescue him."

"That's correct, Sir," said Misa.

"Exedol has informed me that of the two other people present during the interrogation, one has met death with honour, and the other is not assigned to your team," continued Vwritlai. "I would have been pleased to meet Commander Jenius again—do I use your names correctly? Exedol tells me that you use your Clan names in preference to your given names."

"Among friends, we use our given names," said Misa.

"How unusual," said Vwritlai. "Well, I welcome you to my ship, and hope that you find your stay comfortable. I have caused several Miclone-scale quarters to be constructed, enough for your entire party." He glanced over to Milia. "If you so desire, Assault Leader, the recloning chamber is available to restore you to full size."

"I thank you, Commander, but that will not be needed." She glanced over at Ranma, then back to Vwritlai. "My task on Earth requires that I be Micloned."

"Very well."

Ranma struggled to keep the scowl off his face. Only an idiot would have failed to notice Milia's glance at him. I keep hopin' I'll get all that obedience crap drilled out of her, he mused. But she still double-checks every action with me.

Worse, he could feel Misa tensing up next to him. She wasn't an idiot, and had caught that glance, just as Ranma had. But she doesn't know Milia as well as I do...she probably thinks Milia's tryin' ta get into my pants!

"Well, as much as I would love to chat," said Vwritlai, "I feel I should let you settle in."

"Thank you, Sir," said Misa. She turned, and stalked towards the hatch.

Vwritlai leaned down, head near Ranma, and whispered, "How did I do?"

His whisper was close to a Miclone-scale shout, and Ranma waited until the hatch closed behind the rest of the party. Except Claudia, who leaned back against the hatch, apparently waiting for Ranma.

"Pretty good, Sir."

"Colonel Hayase seems upset about something. Did I say something incorrect?"

Ranma shook his head. "No. She's mad, all right, but not at you." He sighed. "I gotta go talk to her."

Vwritlai nodded, and stepped back. Ranma turned and walked towards Claudia.

"Commander LaSalle." He nodded to her.

"Cut the crap, Ranma," she said with a grin.

"Okay, Claudia." He chuckled, then turned sober. "Listen, can I talk to you for a bit?"

"I think I know what you want to talk about," said Claudia. "And it's about time a LaSalle helped you, instead of the other way around. Join me in my quarters."


"Tea, Ranma?" Claudia held up a bottle. "Or do you feel like you need something a bit stronger?"

"What's 'stronger'?" he asked warily.

"Oh, it's just some white wine," said Claudia. "I always keep a bit in stock for emergencies."

"Ah." He nodded. "And a space mission to an alien battle wagon counts as an emergency?"

"Oh, please." She reached into her purse and pulled out two champagne flutes. "I've seen this coming for almost a year now. Probably longer." She looked down at the flutes and wrinkled her nose. "Not the best choice for a simple white, but I had to keep the bulk down..." She removed the cork and started pouring the wine. "Now then, you and Colonel Hayase seem to be having some problems."

"Tell me," he groused. "I won't play the innocent here; I know that I caused a fair number of problems between me an' Misa when we were dating. But I dunno what to do about the situation now. I like Misa—hell, let's not lie." He sighed. "I love her. But as a couple...we just didn't work. Ya know?"

"You seemed to be getting along all right during the war," observed Claudia. "And that's a lot higher stress than we're under nowadays."

"I pointed that out to her," said Ranma. "But she still said that she didn't want to get back together—"

"She what?" Claudia's brows knit in confusion. "But I thought—"

"So did I," said Ranma. "It seems that we both thought wrong."

Claudia sat in thought for a moment, then said, "Why did she say she didn't want to get back together with you?"

"Because we were good friends, and she didn't want to risk our friendship."

Claudia nodded, then asked, "And what do you think the real issue is."

"Milia." There was no hesitation in his voice. "Misa has a bad tendency to run away from issues, an' I think that's what she's doin' in this case."

"You think that she thinks that Milia is a threat to your relationship."

"I know that Milia is a threat to our relationship," said Ranma. "One way or another. I think that Milia's worked out enough of Human culture that she wants to give dating a try. And since I'm her 'Master', she wouldn't consider datin' anyone else."

Claudia raised her eyebrows. "And you don't like Milia?"

"Don't get me wrong," he said quickly. "She's a nice girl, and smart, and—let's face it—she's very attractive. But as long as she keeps this slave mentality, there's no way I can date her. An' she ain't bein' exactly subtle, either. Anyone with half a brain can see that she's interested in me."

"And Misa has considerably more than only half a brain," mused Claudia.

"She sees Milia's attempts clear as daylight, an' it rubs her the wrong way," said Ranma. "They got into it in the dojo the other day, gave each other a medium-sized set of lumps—though Misa took more than Milia. An' I think that if Milia really understood what was buggin' her, Misa would be in traction right now."

"Oh, dear."

"An' on top of that, Misa threw a freak-out fit on me last month over Minmay, of all people!" He threw up his hands. "And she's hinted that me an' Nabs are closer than we should be—and Nabs is my sister!"

"In-law." Claudia completed the sentence with a smile.

"Still. She's family." Ranma snorted. "I waited until Misa was gone before askin' to talk to ya today because she might start gettin' ideas about you. She gets jealous easily."

"And you had those sorts of problems before marrying Akane," observed Claudia.

"Yeah."

"Misa and I had a chat about it after the incident with Minmay."

"I figured."

"She can be very insecure, Ranma," said Claudia. "Don't forget that she's nine years younger than you—nearly ten years. Despite the fact that you look like you're only in your early twenties, you are in fact thirty-four. And she's got a bit of an inferiority complex, as well—patronage only gets you so far in the military; any further, and you have to fight to prove you haven't coasted."

"So what are you saying?" He frowned.

"Simple." Claudia paused to drain her wineglass before continuing. "She looks at you, and sees a demigod. How can she compare to that?"

"But—"

"Milia's a better fighter, and more experienced," continued Claudia. "Minmay's prettier—"

"No, she ain't," objected Ranma.

"Misa will think she is," said Claudia. "Nabiki is much more clever, and closer to your age—older, if I recall correctly."

Ranma nodded.

"So any of those three have more to recommend them—in her eyes—than you do," finished Claudia.

Ranma shrugged. "Yeah...save that I don't love them."

"Have you ever told Misa that you love her?"

Ranma paused, and frowned. "I...no. I haven't."

"Then how would she know?"


Ranma stepped off the slidewalk, onto the observation deck. Beyond and below this deck, Vwritlai and two of his officers stood on their observation deck, and below them, the work pit of the Nupetiet-Vernitsz-class dreadnaught's bridge.

"Commander Saotome, reporting as ordered, Sir."

Vwritlai turned, and nodded to him. "Thank you, Commander. We await two others."

"Yes, Sir."

The Miclone-scale door opened again, and the slidewalk brought Misa and Hikaru towards Ranma. "Commander Vwritlai," said Misa. "Surely we haven't arrived already. We've only been three hours in space fold."

"That is so," said Vwritlai. "It will be four days total before we reach our objective. However, there is something here that warrants our attention."

He turned, and gestured towards the display screen. Centered in the display was a wrecked ship. Misa frowned, and stepped forward. "That looks very familiar, Sir. But it's not an Earth warship, and it doesn't look like any Zentraedi ship I know of."

"It is an Inspection Army dreadnaught," said Vwritlai.

"Were there any survivors?" asked Hikaru.

"There is no atmosphere aboard, no communications running." Exedol was still micloned, and was operating a small-scale sensor system. "However, her powerplants are still operational. I would say that it was very recently destroyed."

Vwritlai frowned. "After the dispersal of the Main Fleet?"

"Yes, My Lord."

Misa considered the wreck for a few more moments, then turned back to Vwritlai. "Sir, I suggest that we conduct a detailed investigation."

"I can't authorize that," said Vwritlai.

"But this is only the second contact between the Inspection Army and Terrans," objected Misa.

Exedol turned from his console. "We have already given you all information that we have on the Inspection Army. Was that not enough?"

"But this is a new source of information!"

Ranma spoke up. "What are the chances that it's trapped, just like Macross was?"

Misa blinked. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Plus, there's the size difference." He frowned. "Commander, you called that a dreadnaught. What would it take, in metal, for your fleet to destroy one of those?"

"Nothing less than a Task Group," said Vwritlai. "Six of our dreadnaughts, twelve cruisers, and assorted screening units."

"So someone out there has sufficient firepower to slap one of those things," said Ranma. "There any other wreckage about?"

"None," said Exedol.

"Then whoever it was didn't lose any ships doin' it." He bit his lip. "Commander, how many ships in your fleet could kill that thing one-on-one?"

"Since the destruction of the Fortress, there is no ship that even comes close," said Vwritlai.

"Misa, I'd have to say that whoever did this is not someone we want to tangle with. An' we don't have any clue who it is, except that it ain't Zentraedi. I think we gotta go with the Commander's assessment on this, an' keep our noses away from the hornet's nest."

Misa nodded her agreement, but he couldn't miss the way her eyes narrowed.


Four days was a long time to spend in hyperspace without any proper recreational facilities and no real duties. Ranma had brought a couple of books, but had gone through them all by the end of the first day. So when the knock came at his door, he was more than quick to answer it.

"Claudia?"

The young woman's eyes were red-shot, and tears streaked her cheeks. "Ranma. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure." He stepped aside, and allowed her into his quarters. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, just bad memories," she said. She wiped at her eyes angrily. "I was stupid enough to go down to the flight deck, and I saw Skull One, and...it just hit me all at once."

"Claudia, I doubt it was 'all at once,'" said Ranma. "You've been holding back on your loss for two years now. You've always tried to be the backbone of the entire damn Spacy force." He shrugged. "Any wonder that it got to be too much?"

"I miss him like crazy," she said brokenly. "I thought it'd get easier, but it never does, does it?"

"No," said Ranma softly. "It never does. I still think of Akane every day."

"Tell me a story, Ranma," she said. "Tell me about when you first met Akane."

Ranma laughed. "You mean Nabs hasn't already told you?"

"I couldn't afford that one."

"Oh. Well, sit down," he said. "I'll make the tea this time."


"So Pops carries me into the house, kickin' and screamin', and dumps me in front of this older guy. He asks my name, but I guess he wasn't usin' his eyes real well, 'cause once he hears it, he grabs me an' hugs me." Ranma had taken the time to douse himself with cold water.

"What's odd about that?"

"Remember it was rainin'?" Ranma snickered, and pointed at her ample chest. "I looked like this at the time, and he called me 'boy.'"

"Oh."

"But once he hugs me, he notices a couple of things that he shouldn't have, and just to make sure, he squeezes me!"

Claudia laughed.

"And then keels over and passes out right on the floor." Ranma paused to sip her tea. "After he wakes up, Dad fills him in on the Jushenkyou thing. But Kasumi had chased me into the bath, an' then sent Akane in for hers—"

"Both at the same time?"

"She still thought I was a girl, an' in Japan, people often bathe together. Especially friends, an' Akane and I were bein' kinda friendly at that point."

"At that point," said Claudia. "But then you went into a hot bath, and—"

"An' Akane walks in on me, an' immediately goes into 'bash-the-pervert' mode." Ranma snorted. "So we told the sisters about Jushenkyou. And then old man Tendo tells me that I still gotta marry one of his daughters. He doesn't care which—can you believe that?"

"He probably wanted you to choose the one you liked."

"How could I like any of them at that point? We'd only just met." Ranma snorted. "But then Kasumi and Nabiki both turn an' volunteer Akane, an' she freaks. We insulted each other for a bit, which ended up with me gettin' brained. Again."

"She can't seem to stop hitting you, can she?"

"Yeah, well, that one I had comin'," she admitted. "But that first day did more or less set the tone for our entire courtship."

"I can see why," she said with a chuckle. "Did I ever tell you how Roy and I met?"

"Yeah," said Ranma. "Way back when we first met, in oh-five."

"Oh." Claudia chuckled. "And you were there for most of our ups and downs after that. I know one story I haven't told you—the first time he asked me out."

"Wasn't that the time he showed up with two other girls?"

Claudia laughed. "Oh, no. He asked me several times before I finally agreed."

"Okay, tell me this one," said Ranma. She kicked her heels up on the coffee table.

"Well, I was assigned at Northern HQ when the Anti-Unification rebellions were just heating up," said Claudia. "It was a liason post, but they were short-handed, so they stuck me doing radio work as well. The Chinese had the latest version of the Flanker, and they sent six of them in just to probe our defenses. I was in contact with an AWACS, who picked them up, so I vectored the CAP to intercept." She chuckled. "Turned out that Roy was the leader of the CAP."

"What were they flying?"

"The U. N. Air Force was operating the F-15 Eagle," said Claudia.

"A Sukhoi 37 will eat one of them for lunch."

"I know," said Claudia. "But Roy had four birds up against their six, and decided he could take them. But then he recognized my voice on the radio." She laughed. "He verified the order, and then said, 'You're quite pretty. Want to go out with me?'"

Ranma giggled. "Sounds just like Roy."

"Well, I didn't know he was going to say anything like that, so I had the freq open to the whole tower." She ducked her head in embarassment. "So everyone there heard him. I tried to keep as cool as I could, telling him to keep it professional, when all of a sudden, one of the bandits strafed the runway."

Ranma blinked. "And this was in ninety-six?"

"Yes," said Claudia. "We still don't know why he did it, but the Chinese later said he was acting rogue, and they'd punished him, and they paid some reparations. But at the time, it was pretty damn scary. The strafing run blew up a Hercules on the tarmac.

"Then Roy comes screaming out of the sun, and puts a burst from the gun straight into the cockpit."

Milia, firing her cannons into his crippled fighter.

Ranma shuddered. Don't need to be reminded of that right now.

"Then he pulled out of the dive, and buzzes the tower." Claudia had continued on, as if she hadn't noticed his reaction. "And as he passed, he looked out and flashed me a thumbs up." She smiled. "Every day, after that, he was pestering me for a date."

"Until you finally agreed."

"Yes, and that didn't go at all well." She laughed, and looked up at the smaller girl. "But you've heard about that."

"Reminds me of my first real date with Akane," said Ranma. "The other four prospectives showed up to interfere."

"Yes, but you didn't bring them with you!"

"True," she conceded.

"Well, I must thank you, Ranma." Claudia stood up and stretched. "A little girl talk made me feel a lot better."

"Maybe next time, you can find a genuine girl," quipped Ranma.

Claudia laughed. "On this boat? There are exactly three and a half females. Me, Misa, Milia and you. I didn't feel like talking to Misa—she'd just want to talk about you—and Milia knows nothing about girl talk." She shrugged. "That left you, or talking to myself."


OMAKE

The Miclone-scale door opened again, and the slidewalk brought Misa and Hikaru towards Ranma. "Commander Vwritlai," said Misa. "Surely we haven't arrived already. We've only been three hours in space fold."

"That is so," said Vwritlai. "It will be four days total before we reach our objective. However, there is something here that warrants our attention."

He turned, and gestured towards the display screen. Centered in the display was a ship. Misa frowned, and stepped forward. "That looks very familiar, Sir. But it's not an Earth warship, and it doesn't look like any Zentraedi ship I know of."

"My Lord." Exedol turned from his Miclone-scale console. "We are being hailed by the other ship."

"On screen."

The screen cleared, to show...Hayase Misa.

"This is Commodore Lisa Hayes-Hunter, in command of..." Her voice trailed off, and her eyes bugged out at the scene in front of her.

Misa cleared her throat, and stepped forwards. "Commodore. This is Colonel Hayase Misa. I think something odd is going on."

"We had just folded for Tirol, and something went very badly wrong with our space fold drive."

"Tirol?" Vwritlai looked puzzled. "I am unfamiliar with that system."

"But it was you, Commander Breetai, who gave us the co-ordinates—"

"Perhaps we should meet to discuss this," offered Hikaru.

The Commodore's eyes shifted, then widened. "Rick? What are you doing over there?"

"Huh?" Hikaru was apparently channeling his English dub character. "Sorry, but I think you've got the wrong guy."

"My Lord!" Exedol blinked at his display. "Incoming space fold."

Commodore Hayes was apparently getting a similar update from one of her own crewmen. "From the fold signature, it appears to be a Zentraedi warship, on the same scale as a Command Cruiser."

Space shifted and warped, and the new vessel popped into existence.

"Not Zentraedi. An Inspection Army heavy cruiser!" Vwritlai turned to Exedol. "Set condition alpha throughout the ship."

"My Lord...the cruiser is hailing us." Exedol looked a bit more green than usual. "I think we should accept communication."

"Eh? Very well."

The display screen split, to reveal...another Misa.

"This is Admiral Lisa Saotome-Hayes, commanding the Amaterasu..."

Again, her voice trailed off.

"Saotome-Hayes?" Ranma stepped forward. "Don't tell me—"

"Ranma?" The look on her face matched that of the Commodore's when she recognized Hikaru.

Hikaru dropped his face into his palm. "Lemme guess...Rick's family name is Hunter."

"I ain't your Ranma," he hastened to say. "I think we got one of those multiple universe things goin' on. Your Ranma, your husband, is still aboard your ship."

"Husband?" Now Admiral Saotome-Hayes sounded very confused. "Ranma is my wife."

"...Excuse me?"

"And the mother of my daughter."

"Okay, that's just wrong."

Admiral Saotome-Hayes bristled. "Now I am certain that you are not my wife. And I would insist that you speak of Vice Admiral Hayes-Saotome with the respect she is due!"

"Vice Admiral?"

"Incoming spacefold!"

"Another?" Vwritlai sighed. "Who is it this time?"

"Starship of type unknown, power system is completely unknown...and yes, My Lord, they are hailing us."

"On screen."

A three way split this time, and sure enough, another Misa. Or was it Lisa? Ranma was getting confused.

"This is Admiral Lisa Saotome in command of the..."

And another trail-off.

"Ranma! At last, we've found you!"

Ranma raised his hand. "Not your Ranma."

"What?" She glanced over at Vwritlai. "Commander Breetai! How could you kidnap General Saotome? In fact, how are you even here? I left you on Earth with our children!"

"Please tell me your Ranma was at least their father?"

"Yes, you are...Wait—what do you mean?"

"There seems to be some sort of quad-manifest conjugation in the fold matrix, producing a four-way tangent of probability lines," said Exedol. "Or something like that."

"In English, please?" Admiral Saotome-Hayes looked confused.

Ranma sighed, then turned to Commodore Hayes-Hunter. "You seem to be the only ship without a Ranma."

"Oh, no," said Commodore Hayes-Hunter. "Colonel Saotome and his wife Akane are aboard."

Ranma blinked. "Colonel Saotome. And we got a Vice Admiral Saotome-Hayes, and a General Saotome. Why the heck am I only a friggin' Commander?"

"Because the fic isn't done?" offered Hikaru, in flagrant violation of the fourth wall.

Ranma turned to Misa. "Well, that's one vote for Akane and two for you," he said.

"To tell the truth," volunteered Commodore Hayes-Hunter, "everyone was telling me that I should have married Ranma, instead of Akane."

Ranma rolled his eyes. "So two and a half votes for you. Seems someone wants us together."

Misa considered this, then said, "Want to hook back up?"

"I don't think we have a lot of choice." He shrugged. "Not that that's news for me."


A/N: The other three Lisas were, in order of appearance, from Macross One-Half by me, Dragon Lady of Macross by Calamity-Queen of Cordite, and Mirrors Multiplied by Jared Ornstead. All Ranma/Macross crossovers (though in Mirrors, it's only a couple of chapters...amidst the other hundred or so crossovers). With the exception of Commodore Lisa Hayes-Hunter, they were all used without permission.