Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the second to last chapter before you guys get to read the wedding! I decided that it would be far more hilarious if I combined the parties into one chapter. It will be separated accordingly so hopefully it won't be confusing. I just want to thank all of you for the support and all as I wrote what turned into a hilarious series! There will be a sequel to Not Completely Crazy and will be written after the second G. movie that will be coming out…unfortunately that won't be till sometime in 2013 so I shall have plenty of side stories to fill in! ENJOY!

Chapter 5: Party Hardy!

Strippers?…Nah

"What do you mean no strippers!?" Ripcord wailed in despair as he followed an amused General Hawk.

"There will be no strippers at any of the parties. This is a military base, not a cheap hotel. Strippers could become liabilities if we let them in," General Hawk explained as he walked into the training area. "Besides, Snake Eyes already asked for a tame bachelor party," Hawk said as he turned a blank look to the pilot. "And I'm going by what he wants, since it is his party," he said before turning back around to see the oddest sight he's ever seen. "Stone, Slaughter, what the hell are you doing?" he shouted to the two men across the training area.

"We're doing what Haywire asked us to do," Stone replied with a shrug as he lowered his paintball gun. General Hawk walked cautiously over to stand next to the two men holding paintball guns and stared at the white wedding dress that was carefully hung up on the wall.

"She asked you to…paintball…her wedding dress?" General Hawk asked in confusion as he examined the careful swirl pattern that delicately curled up the side of the dress to the hip line.

"Yep. We were worried that it would look wrong but, it's actually turning out to be pretty awesome," Sgt. Stone said as he brought the paintball gun back up and took aim at the dress before firing off a couple more paintballs in varying shades of pink. Ripcord and General Hawk looked at each other before turning on their heels and heading back out.

"Well that was different…but I can understand that it was Haywire's idea," Ripcord said. General Hawk nodded his head in agreement before leaving the pilot behind to check on a few things. "Wait so it's still no on the hookers?!" Ripcord shouted down the hall.

"It's a hell no, Rip!" General Hawk shouted.

Bachelor Party

Snake Eyes shook his head with a smile as the guys around him sang "For he's a jolly good fellow", changing the fellow part to ninja. He went without his ninja attire and mask, so it was clear to everyone that he was amused.

"You guys are ridiculous," he signed once the crowd settled down. "Thank you guys for this," he signed with a sincere smile.

"Alright, alright, so thanks to General Up-Tight," Ripcord said while giving a pointed look to General Hawk who was sipping his brandy, "we aren't going to have strippers," he said with a sad face. Some of the guys groaned in disappointment while others laughed at the faces. "So instead, we're having a clean bachelor party, which includes the following activities that my lovely assistant, Duke, will point out," Ripcord said with a big smile while Duke scowled at being called "lovely".

"So, over by Stone, there is a sharp-shooter competition going on," Duke said as he pointed towards the back area where a training simulation was being set up. "Then over by Storm Shadow, we have a poker game being set up. And yes, we are betting money, so hopefully ya'll brought your wallets," Duke said with a smirk. "And over near Sgt. Slaughter, we have a table set up for you guys to write your funniest memories of Snake Eyes and Haywire," Duke said. "The bar obviously is open and the snacks will constantly be filled tonight, so let's all enjoy Snake Eyes' last night as a free man!" Duke said to the shouts and applause of the gathered Joes.

Bachelorette Party

Haywire was laughing right along with the other girls as they talked over wine and painted their toenails. While the guys were enjoying the various guy activities, the girls were enjoying a quiet night just talking and eating junk food while getting ready for tomorrow.

"Oh honey, I can't believe you're getting married," Emily said as she carefully painted her pinky toe a subtle shade of blue. Nightshade nodded her head in agreement as she grasped at Scarlett's hand in order to add flower details to her red nails.

"When we first met and started to become friends, I never figured that someone would be able to handle you," Nightshade said in a teasing tone as she reached for her wine glass.

"Well if anyone can handle Haywire, it's Snake Eyes," Scarlett said as sipped her wine and carefully popped pieces of popcorn into her mouth. Haywire simply smiled as she bent over her knees to finish off the bright pink on her toenails.

"What do you think he'll say when he sees what Slaughter and Stone did to my dress?" Haywire asked with a mischievous smile. The others simply laughed as they all agreed that he wouldn't be surprised.

"Hon, if he was surprised at the dress, then he wouldn't be the right guy for you," Emily reasoned as she pointed at her daughter with the nail polish brush. Haywire just stuck her tongue out at her mom. Nightshade finished touching up Scarlett's nail then moved over to the TV to start the romantic comedy that all the girls agreed on.

"A quiet night in doing hair and nails while watching romantic comedies and eating junk," Nightshade started as she looked at the different shades of pink nail polish that matched the bridesmaids' dresses. "I wonder what the guys are doing," she pondered out loud. The others all stopped what they were doing to stare at one another.

"I'm not sure I want to know," Haywire said with a small shudder.

Bachelor Party

"Snake, Snake, Snake," was chanted as the guys all encouraged him to beat his own personal high score at the shooting simulation. "YEAH!" They all rejoiced as the score was replaced with the latest high score.

"And to think that was with a few drinks under your belt," Highlander jested as he slapped Snake Eyes on the shoulder. "Now come on, it's time to give you your presents," he said as he led a smiling Snake Eyes to the table in the center of the room. "Alright so the first one is from all of us here," he said as he moved to the table.

"Alright Snake, now close your eyes and hold out your hands," Ripcord said with a smile. Snake Eyes quirked an eyebrow but conceded with a sigh. His eyes flew open when his hands were brought rapidly down to the ground.

"The hell is this all about?" he signed when he let go of the heavy chain that attached the ankle cuff to the cast iron ball.

"Dude, it's the old ball 'n chain!" Ripcord said as some of the guys busted out laughing. "That's what Haywire will be when you two get hitched," he said with a laugh. "And it was Highlander's idea," he said as he backed up from the slight glare.

"I take no credit for the idea. It was Storm Shadow," Highlander said with his hands up in self-defense. "I mean look at him," Highlander said as he gestured to the other ninja, "he's not even denying it!" he said with a flourish.

"I'm not denying it because I took no part in it," he said with a smirk. "Though I find the idea to be quite entertaining," he said with a chuckle as he stood behind Snake Eyes and looked at the ball and chain. "How does it feel to know that this is your last day as an unattached man?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

"I'm excited but nervous as well," Snake Eyes signed after a moment of thinking. "I think you could understand if you decide to settle down," Snake Eyes teased his sword brother.

"That, my brother, will never happen," Storm Shadow said as he patted Snake Eyes on the back before heading towards the bar for another drink.

"So wait, does that mean Nightshade is open for flirting?" Highlander piped up.

"No, she is not open for flirting," Storm Shadow said with a glare. Highlander and Snake Eyes shared a look before smiling in evilness.

Bachelorette Party

Tissues were being passed between the women who were lounging on the various bean bags and pillows as they sniffled at the ending of the movie.

"That had to be the sappiest movie I've ever seen," Haywire said as she dabbed at her eyes.

"It was, but I can't help but cry at the end," Scarlett said as she giggled through her tears. Nightshade tried to discreetly dab at her eyes but it was pointless.

"Alright ladies, it's time for us to finalize make up ideas for tomorrow," Emily said as she moved to the folder with the makeup sheets in it. "I like the idea of keeping it light with the touch of Asian," she said as she looked at the various details. "And Nightshade, I have to thank you for providing the 'something borrowed' with the hair comb," she said as she admired the hair comb that was placed in a small oriental box.

"It's no problem. But how are we going to cover the 'something blue'? I mean the color scheme is after all pink and silver," Scarlett asked with a thoughtful look on her face.

"Well isn't that normally on the undergarments?" Baroness asked as she got up to refill their popcorn bowl. Scarlett and Haywire looked at each other and both smacked their foreheads at the obviousness of it.

"So she'll have blue underwear, got it. Now what else is there?" Nightshade said as she lounged back in her bean bag.

"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue," Emily recited as she looked over final plans for tomorrow. "We have the 'something borrowed' with the hair comb; the 'something blue' is covered both literally and figuratively with the undergarments, now we're onto the 'something new'," Emily said as she got up and reached for the small wrapped box that was sitting on the table next to the wine bottle.

"This is from all of us," Baroness said with a smile as she took it from Emily and handed it to Haywire.

"You guys didn't have to get me anything," Haywire said in shock as she carefully unwrapped the present. She opened the lid and held in a gasp as she stared at what was inside. She carefully pulled the antique necklace out of the tissue paper and started to tear up a bit. "Oh you guys," she said with a smile.

"It was your mother's idea to get it fixed for you. We know how important your grandmother was to you, so in a way we're taking care of the 'something old' and the 'something new' since we had it fixed, as well as engraved," Scarlett explained as she smiled at the happy tears in Haywire's eyes. Haywire stared in awe at the repaired silver locket. The delicate flower with its filigree leaves glinted as she moved it to read the back of it.

"Don't regret anything that ever made you smile," Haywire read with a smile. "This is amazing you guys," Haywire said as she wiped a couple tears away.

The Couple

The couple were cuddled up under the covers of their bed and simply smiled. They heard scratching noises coming from their bedroom door.

"Timber wants in apparently," Haywire said as she got up and shuffled over to the door. "Hey boy, come on in," she said to the wolf. "What'cha got there hon?" she asked as she followed the wolf to the bed. Snake Eyes took the small package that Timber was carrying. He unwrapped it and smiled at the collar that was revealed.

"Look love," He signed after handing her the collar. It was silver in color and had a sakura blossom shaped tag.

"Oh, it's so cute. Now he has something to wear to the wedding tomorrow," Haywire gushed as she moved to put the collar around Timber's furry neck. She moved back to admire it with a smile. "Well don't you look handsome," she said before Timber moved to the open bathroom so he can look in the mirror above the sink. Snake Eyes and Haywire laughed as they watched his tail wag in happiness.

"Tomorrow we're wedded, together forever," Snake Eyes signed to a smiling Haywire.

"I can't wait," Haywire said before laughing out loud when Timber jumped on the bed to lick them both.

The last chapter will be posted tomorrow! And don't forget to review because reviews make sure you get what you want to read! Thanks!