Chapter 34: Epiphanies and Cuticle Oil
Previously in Chapter 33:
"So, when you gonna tell her you're in love with her?" Emmett asks quietly.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
"Ha fucking ha, Em!" I chuckle at my best friend. That's preposterous, crazy, twilight-zone talk.
When he doesn't join my mirth, I turn to look at him guardedly. I see no humor in his face (which is scary enough in itself, Em is rarely serious….ever!) His eyebrow raises and he shrugs.
"Em, c'mon man, you know I don't do the whole relationship love thing. Not interested. I'm the wham bam thank you ma'am type, always have been." I shuffle my feet nervously, looking repeatedly over my shoulder to make sure Bella has indeed went to shower and not witnessing this clusterfuck of a conversation. Internally sighing as I hear the water in the tub start….thank God she's taking a bath instead.
"Yeah, I know that's what you've always done, E, but not this time. You're crazy about her, all singing birds and flowers, you're head over heels….and you know it. You know it and it scares the shit out of you." Emmett says quietly, but with intense conviction.
I shake my head negatively, "You're wrong, Em. We're undercover….it's an act, that's all. Just an act." I mumble, wondering who I'm trying to convince more him or me.
"Really? Well, who are you acting for here? Who are you acting for in that bed together every night? I've seen the way you look at her, man. It's the same way I look at Rosie, the same way that Jasper guy looks at Alice, hell, even the same way my ol' man still looks at my mom…and they've been together since dirt was new. You keep telling yourself that, dude. We'll see who's right when this is all over." He chuckles as he pats my shoulder, Jake trotting out the back door with him and leaving me alone with my racing thoughts.
I'm not in love with her….I'm not. I mean, I like her, she's funny and feisty. She wicked intelligent and seems to be a caring, kind person. She's sexy as hell and makes me see God in the sack…but this is our job, that's all. I mean for Emmett to think it's anything else is just crazy. He's probably doing this just to fuck with me. It's what we do; we bug the shit out of each other on purpose.
Scenes of last night flash involuntarily through my mind, the soft way I touched her and how I felt when I heard her sultry voice groaning out in pleasure and a smile ghosts across my lips. That's different, that's fucking. The voice in my mind screams out at me instantly knowing that it wasn't. That was the closest thing to making love to a woman that I'd ever done. It felt different; in today's light it still feels different.
I can see flashes of her head thrown back in laughter at the Farmer's market, our foreheads touching as she spoke to me outside the club that night that I nearly lost my head to my temper. I can almost feel the warmth of her body beside mine in the bed each night, the way we fit against each other like joining pieces of a puzzle. My head shakes slowly….it's just an act, it's just an act.
I picture myself after this is over going back to my regular life, with my regular apartment and the thought of my bed, that I've always loved cold and empty as I crawl into it at night makes me ache.
I'm gnawing at the skin of my thumb, worrying the flesh in my teeth in my signature tell of nervousness. No, no, no. I can't be in love with her. That's not possible, I don't know how to fall in love, much less be IN it. My body slumps down into the barstool as I stare hard at the countertop of the island in a blank stare.
Christ almighty, I'm so fucked!
I've got to put this out of my mind. I just can't go there….not now, hell, I didn't think I'd ever even consider going there kicking and screaming. My palms are sweaty as I hear the water shut off upstairs and it scares the hell out of me. Shit, is she going to know as soon as she looks at me? Do I look different with the realization that Big Bad Edward who has escaped love's clutches for this long fell for the woman he has no business falling for? Fucking hell! Two seconds of realizing I have indeed taken the plunge and I'm falling the fuck apart. See, this is why I don't do love!
I grab my phone from the counter and press a couple of buttons, pressing it to my ear and blowing out a calming breath. Alice's soft voice answers and I clear my throat.
"Alice, hey honey, it's Edward. I need to talk to Jasper for a minute if that's ok?" She agrees and I hold listening to her voice murmur and the soft smack of lips meeting lips.
"Edward, hey, you're up early. I thought we were putting off meeting until tonight so you and Bella can work out the scene?"
"That's why I'm calling you Jas, I need your help." I say the pleading in my voice evident to me.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Now, I've had anal sex…probably more than the average healthy warm-blooded American male has, not that I'm bragging or anything. Usually though, it's with women that have been around that block before and after copious amounts of alcohol that make it falling off a bike in its simplicity. This….this is different.
Number one, Bella's an ass virgin. Number two, for some reason, I'm aching to make her enjoy it, so I know I need to take it slow to watch and listen for her body's reactions. And third, and as much as I'm uncomfortable admitting it to myself, I'm in love with her. It still tastes funny on my tongue even admitting that.
I've followed Jasper's instructions implicitly. I've thrown a sheet over our bed after making it up. Jasper suggested that our bedroom might put her more at ease than the playroom for her first time delving into the back door shuffle. I've collected the small silver bullet vibe from the playroom and it sits on the bedside table. I hear water moving as Bella finishes her bath and the water runs down the drain. I'm ready…I think. Fucking shit! Lube!
I don't want to be gone when she comes out of the bedroom so I run to her nightstand and pull it open, praying to anything I can that I'll find what I need. I spy the clear flip top bottle and have an aha moment as I grab it and the door to the bathroom opens.
Her hair hangs in dark wet curls down her back and across the white expanse of her robe. She looks content and comfy and most importantly relaxed. She looks at the bed and I'm surprised as a mischievous smile plays on her lips.
"That anxious to get into my ass, Masen? Typical." She says with a chuckle.
"Well, I know we need to practice and I thought we could you know, practice. Hey, wait a minute, what do you mean typical?" I ask a little offended.
"Oh, c'mon, that and having two women make every straight man weak in the knees. I'm not that obtuse." She spies the bullet and her eyes widen.
"That's not fair to lump all men into that theory. I mean…" I start to say and she gives me a deadpan look, "fuck you're right it sends me over the fucking moon, alright?" I mutter and her almost child-like giggle is infectious.
"So," with a flourish the robe is gone and I'm staring at her creamy naked perfection, "where do you want me?"
"Oh, what a loaded question that is, sweetheart." I chuckle as I pull off the sleep pants and am not surprised in the least to see Kong standing at attention, his head darkening with the rush of blood and seeping a pearl drop of pre-cum. "On the bed, on your back, pet."
I resist the urge to stroke myself as I watch her graceful strut. She crawls up into the middle of the bed on all fours and I have to bite back the groan. She's tempting me on purpose, the little minx.
She falls unceremoniously onto her back, spreading her hair out on the pillows and her feet planted on the mattress. I take the time to take her in, and I see the subtle giveaways that she's just as nervous as I am. The soft trembling of her hands and the jerky movement of her chest as it rises and falls.
I reach out my hand to smooth over her face, turning her face toward me. "Bella, honey, I'm not going to hurt you, okay? We're going to go slow and I'm going to make it pleasurable for you if it kills me, alright? If at any time you change your mind, all you have to do is say so and we'll think of something else, okay?"
Her head nods softly as she releases a calming breath and gives me that small smile I adore. I take the bottle of lube with me and crawl up from the end of the bed between her legs. I know she can feel my hot breath against her, but her legs tense up in anticipation or dread. I place my palms against her thighs, pressing them open softly as I whisper, "Relax baby."
As her legs cautiously splay open, it catches my breath to see her this up close and intimately. She may be nervous, but I can see the dewy wetness clinging to her lips. I bring my mouth close to her and breathe across her heated flesh, my fingers kneading her thighs in my hands.
"You are so beautiful here, Isabella. Tell me, sweetheart, tell me you want me to put my mouth on you to lick and suck you until you explode all over me. Tell me you want it to." My voice rumbles out in a husky timbre.
"God, yes….please, Edward….please." Her voice rises to a higher octave as the words wail from her mouth as I take the first long lingering lick, flicking my tongue over her clit without mercy. I pull her ass closer as I give no reprieve and attack her flesh with gusto, sliding my tongue in and out of her depths. Her fingers slide over my scalp, pulling my hair in her hands as her hips arch up sharply and meaningless words tumble from her throat, the view is staggeringly beautiful.
I quietly open the lube and coat my index and middle fingers copiously. Carefully as my mouth moves wildly over her quivering heat, I touch her softly tracing around her puckered hole. She starts momentarily and I take the moment to whisper "Shhhhh" as my mouth is surrounded by her body and she shivers. I take that as a good sign and double my efforts, my tongue relentless as it licks….sucks….nibbles on her wet lips and the moans reach a louder crescendo.
I press more firmly with my finger, opening her just a hint and smile with pride as a surprised "oh!" leaves her throat. Not 'no', though, so I continue as my lips wrap around her clit and suck. I feel her body clamp down for one….two…three seconds and her clit convulses on my tongue and I feel her body sag as she releases and I take her sated frame as my opportunity.
My slickened finger slides inside her ass easily and holyMaryJosephandJesus it's so fucking tight I swear my dick whimpers in anticipation. She gasps and her head flies up, meeting my eyes and hers are wide and shocked.
"Are you ok?" I ask, feeling the wetness from her release coating my chin and lips.
"Ye….umm…yes." She says softly.
"Does it hurt?"
"Erm….well, no."
"Tell me what you feel?" I implore her.
"Your finger in my ass, what the hell do you think it would feel like?" She asks with a snort….yes, a snort.
"Christ, Bella! A little help here, is it unpleasant?" I ask as I roll my eyes.
"Well, no…it's just, fuck, I dunno Edward. It feels weird." She says, watching me closely and biting that sinful lip.
"Hand me the bullet on the nightstand." I ask with a strangled voice. I groan as I feel her body move complying with my request and I feel my finger tightly encased inside her. She shyly hands me the bullet as I lay it on her stomach to turn it on. She giggles and wriggles as it jumps to life on her soft skin, which inadvertently moves my finger out and back in.
"Oooh shitfuckinghell, what was that?" She asks in wonder as her head drops back and her legs fall open farther, answering my wildest dreams.
"What, baby, this?" I say darkly as I experimentally thrust softly in and out of her ass, squirting more lube onto my appearing finger while the bullet dances a jig on her stomach.
"Oh hells bells and little baby fishes, that feels goooood!" She says, pushing her hips down with each thrust and gasping at each thrust inside. This woman is going to be the death of me. I swear my dick is making a mess on this sheet, leaking is the understatement of the century.
"I'll make it feel so good baby, just feel it." I say as I bring the bullet to her wet clit with my unoccupied hand. The scream of pleasure from her sends her body into a wild motion, thrusting down onto my hand fiercely and arching up into the vibrations on her clit. She's mindless with pleasure and she's a fucking picture of rapture….beautiful rapture.
My tongue slips inside her, curling up against her walls and rolling against the roof of her pussy as I add my middle finger into her ass as well and she wails loudly. Oh fuck, she's so into it….thank you little baby Jesus, she's loving it. My face is buried flushly against her, shaking my head as my tongue is inside and it's too much for her to bear.
Her hands tear at the sheets and her hair is flying as the shudder starts at her shoulders and rolls down her breasts. My fingers are thrusting strongly and I press the bullet tighter against her trembling bundle. I pull my face back just in time as she cums gloriously, a geyser of liquid squirting from her body and splashing against my neck and chest.
"Fuckk,dontstopdon'tstopdon'tyoueverfuckingstoopppp!" She growls throatily as wave after wave takes her over almost dislodging my hand as she arches, her ass completely leaving the bed, coating the sheet below her in a large wet spot. One final guttural scream and she collapses back to the mattress, breathing heavily and tiny tremors rolling over her frame.
I slide my fingers from her body and remove the vibe turning it off. I can't keep the shit eating grin off my face as her head falls to the side, spying the bottle of lube lying beside her.
"Edward, why is my bottle of cuticle oil on the bed?" She asks with a quirked eyebrow.
"Cuticle oil?" I ask confused as I pick up the bottle and read. Is "Oops" the right word for this situation?
