Chapter 20

Friday

10:24 PM

Booth followed the nurse out of the elevator and down the hall. He was trying to stay positive. He was trying to have faith. Positive thinking was the only thing keeping him walking down the hallway towards an unknown future. Dr. London had said she was still alive, but Booth was still terrified. Even though he had already seen her, he wasn't sure if he was already to see the real damage left behind by Collin Brown.

"Room 417," the nurse said. "Right here."

"Thank you," Booth replied.

"We don't normally allow overnight visits in the ICU, but Dr. London told me that he'll be allowing you to stay overnight with your girlfriend."

"She's not my…" Booth didn't continue. He was tired of correcting people when they made the assumption that he and Brennan were an item, especially when that was what he desired the most.

"Let me know if you need anything," the nurse said before walking away.

As soon as the nurse was gone, Booth stood at the doorway. He looked into the room. There was a curtain pulled around the bed, blocking Booth from seeing her. Taking a deep breath, Booth walked into the room. He stopped in front of the curtain. He put his hand on it, ready to push it aside. Before he did, though, he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Please," he whispered. "Please."

He pulled the curtain aside and opened his eyes. He immediately had to hold back the tears. He approached the bed slowly and took it all in. She was lying there with her eyes closed, almost as if she were peacefully asleep, but the rest of her body told otherwise. Booth looked over her. Her head was bandaged, her right cheek badly bruised. Booth remembered Collin Brown slapping her hard across the face in the video. A tear fell from his eye and fell onto the bed next to her. He saw the breathing tube in her mouth and her bandaged wrists and hands. The blanket was tucked up to her chest, underneath her arms so he couldn't see the rest of his body. He was left to imagine the horror that lay beneath the blanket.

Booth pulled a nearby chair next to her bedside. He sat down and put his hand on her arm. Normally he would hold her hand, but with the bandages wrapped around her wrists, he didn't have the access he wanted to her hands. With his free hand, he reached up and brushed her hair away from her face, stroking his finger down her face before removing his hand.

"Bones," he said quietly.

He didn't know what to say. There were so many emotions flowing through him that he didn't know where to start. He wanted to tell her how he really felt. He was tired of hiding, but it wasn't the right time. The first time he told her he loved her, he needed her to hear it. He needed her to really hear it no matter what the consequences.

"I'm sorry," he settled on. "I'm sorry I brought him into our lives…into your life. I'm sorry that I ever took that phone call that he was being released. I'm sorry that I let him get to you. I'm sorry that I couldn't find you…that I didn't get to you sooner. I'm so sorry, Bones."

He looked at the beeping monitors that surrounded her. Aside from what he knew from watching hospital dramas, Booth didn't know what any of them were for. He just knew that none of them could be good. He thought about what Dr. London said. Her body needed to heal, but it wasn't just her body he was worried about. He looked up at her bandaged forehead. It was her brain. He knew her body could heal and it would heal, but what scared him the most was that Collin Brown could have done irreversible damage. Collin Brown may not have taken Brennan from Booth in a physical sense, but he may have taken everything Booth loved about her. He may have taken Dr. Brennan the person and that scared Booth the most.

"I'm here, Bones," he said quietly. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

Booth leaned over and placed a kiss on her skin right where the bandage ended. He let his lips linger on her forehead longer than necessary. Even though she would say that it was ridiculous and scientifically impossible, he hoped that she could somehow feel him.

Saturday

10:32 PM

Angela watched him as he slept. His arm was draped over Brennan's body. His head was resting on the bed right next to her shoulder. He was still sitting in the chair that he had dragged over to her bedside. The sleeper chair that was in the room had remained unused.

Angela walked quietly into the room, placing the bag of donuts and the two coffees she had brought down on a cart next to Brennan's bed. She knew she should wake Booth. There was no telling how long he had been asleep, but she knew that however long, he was going to have a terrible backache when he woke up. Sleeping hunched over like that wasn't good for anybody.

Before she woke him, though, Angela had to see Brennan. Like Booth had done, Angela took time looking over Brennan's body. She was a trained artist and, just as she memorized the faces of everyone she met, she had memorized Brennan's. As she looked at her once smooth, porcelain skin, she noticed every imperfection. Every cut and every bruise jumped out at her. Angela couldn't stop the tears. She allowed herself a few minutes of silently crying over her hurt friend before she grabbed a tissue and dabbed at her tears. She put her hand on Brennan's arm and leaned in close to Brennan's ear.

"I know you're in there, Brennan," she said. "You need to wake up. We all need you. And he…" she looked over at Booth. "He needs you the most. He might not be ready to admit it, but he needs you. Come back to us."

Angela straightened and walked over to the other side of the bed where Booth slept. She put her hand on his shoulder and shook him lightly. Booth's head shot up like a rocket.

"What? What's happening?" He looked at Brennan's face and quickly checked the monitors. As far as he could tell, nothing had changed. He wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

"It's just me," Angela said.

"Angela? How'd you get up here?"

"The elevator," she answered, trying to keep the conversation light.

"No, I mean…I thought they said only family could be up here."

"They did, but Sweets gave one of the nurses one of his famous psychology lessons about how important it is for patients to be surrounded by the people they love and who love them during their recovery, blah, blah, blah."

"And it worked?"

"Well, the jelly donut I tempted the nurse with helped." She picked up the bag she had brought in. "Donut?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Have you eaten since you've been up here?"

"One of the nurses brought me something," Booth answered, pointing to a hospital tray that was resting on a nearby counter. Angela walked over to the tray and took the cover off.

"This hasn't even been touched."

"I'm not hungry," he repeated.

"That's what I figured you'd say, which is why I brought your favorite." She reached her hand into the bag she had brought and pulled out a donut. "Double chocolate with chocolate sprinkles."

"Ang…"

"Eat it. Please? For me." She batted her eyelashes at him and handed him the donut. He took it and took a large bite.

"You're a powerful woman, Angela."

"Thank you."

"No wonder Hodgins does anything you say. You bat an eyelash and any man is powerless to resist you."

"It's a gift and a curse," Angela joked. She handed him one of the coffees.

"Thanks."

Angela pulled over another chair and sat beside Booth. She noticed that he still had his hand on her arm. He refused to be disconnected to her.

"How is she doing?" Angela asked.

"I don't know. A nurse came in a few hours ago and said nothings changed."

"Well, that's good, right? At least she's not getting worse."

"I guess."

"Dr. London said the first forty-eight hours are critical. Well, she's made it through the first twenty-four so we're halfway there."

"Yeah, but it's also not a good sign if she doesn't wake up in the first forty-eight hours, either."

Angela put her hand on his shoulder. "She will. She has too much left to live for not to wake up."

"Like what? Like identifying thousand year old bones? Like going to the next major catastrophe to sift through debris and garbage to identify human remains?"

He knew he was being unnecessarily coarse, but he couldn't help it. He was angry. He was angry at himself. He had always been so sure of himself when it came to what he wanted. He never let anyone stand in his way. Not when it came to the army or the FBI or his relationships. He always got what he wanted, but not with Brennan. She had changed him. She had made him suppress his feelings. She was the only one who had ever denied him what he wanted and he had let her. He had let this little charade that they were just partners and that he had no feelings for her go on for so long. Maybe if he hadn't, she wouldn't be lying on the hospital bed.

"It's what she loves," Angela said.

"It's not a life."

"I know that. And I think she was just starting to figure that out. And it's all because of you, Booth. You've shown her that there is more to life."

"Yeah, and where did that get her? Here. If she had just stayed in the lab…"

"Don't go blaming yourself again. None of us can make Brennan do what she doesn't want to do. She went out into the field with you because she wanted to. She went out because she wanted to be with you."

Booth stood up, separating himself from both Angela and Brennan. He walked to the opposite side of the room and crossed his arms over his chest.

"She shouldn't be here. Not like this."

"You're right. But she is here and the only thing we can do for her is to let her know that we're here."

They were both silent for a few moments. Booth was collecting his thoughts. He wasn't going to be the man that Brennan had made him into. He was going to be the man he wanted to be.

"I'm going to tell her," he said, turning to face Angela.

"Good."

"You don't even know what I'm going to tell her."

"Yes I do. I've just been trying to figure out how long it was going to one of you to break."

"You've always known haven't you?"

"Always. I kind of always thought the two of you would be alone on some stakeout somewhere and you'd be in some heated argument as always and finally you'd both just snap and spend the rest of the stakeout making hot passionate love in the backseat. But…this works too."

Booth smiled. "You are quite a woman, Angela." He rubbed his neck and sat back down in his chair.

"Go home," Angela said.

"What?'

"You've been here for twenty-four hours, Booth. Go home."

"I'm not leaving her."

"I'll stay. You're not the only one here for her. Cam, Hodgins, and Sweets…they'd all be here in a second if we asked them too. We're a family, Booth. This is what we do. We take care of each other. Let us take care of her…and you."

"What if she…"

"You're only a phone call away. It's just a few hours. Go…eat, sleep, shower, go for a run for all I care. Just…do something."

"And if you'll call me if…" he couldn't finish the sentence.

"I'll call you," she assured him.

Booth sighed. "Ok." He looked down at Brennan. "Can I…have a minute?"

Angela didn't say anything at all. She simply stood and walked out of the room. Booth stroked Brennan's hair and leaned in close to her.

"I'll only be gone for a little while. I promise I'll come back, Bones. I need you to stay strong for me. Angela, she's…she's a mess without you." He knew he was talking more about himself than Angela, but, even though Brennan was unconscious, he was still easier to project his feelings through someone else. "They're all a mess, Bones. All the squints…and Sweets although I think he's becoming more like a squint every minute. We need you. We're the center, remember Bones? The circle can't hold without the center and the circle must hold. Please, Bones." He kissed her forehead. "Please."

It took great effort for Booth to step away from her and even more effort for him to walk out the door. But, as soon as he saw Angela's face standing right outside the door, the steps became easier. She was right. They were a family and he had to put his faith in someone else. It wasn't easy, but Booth stepped into the elevator and left.

Author's Note; I hope you liked this one! And, on a side note, I hope I'm not the only one who was yelling at the TV during the end of last night's episode. Every Bones episode seems to cause me emotional pain as if the characters were real. I think I really need to get a life! Writing this story is the only thing that's keeping me sane! Anyway, thanks for reading and please review!