There were a number of unofficial rules that surrounded meal times at the Himeno Koujin, each enforced by different judges, juries and executioners. First, no talking with your mouth full, administrated by Fumi-obaachan. Second, no fighting at the table, verbal or physical, controlled and made useless by Shizuru. And last but far from least, for god's sake, don't look at what Natsuki's eating, as enforced by their stomachs.

Today, while the rest of the home was enjoying Fumi-obaachan's homemade pancakes with syrup, Natsuki was eating mayonnaise with pancakes. Yesterday's more traditionally Japanese breakfast had had the same fate, and while mayonnaise and fish had been somewhat tolerable, very few people in the house knew how the bluette could stomach mayonnaise-flavored rice. The only reason the Miso soup hadn't suffered the same fate was because mayonnaise tended to make unappealing floating blobs in liquid that even the mayonnaise junkie didn't like to look at.

The only one who seemed to be exempted from this rule was the enforcer of law number two, who seemed to be disapprovingly amused as only she seemed to be able to. But then, one could argue that there were very few things that had the property of being related to Kuga Natsuki that Fujino Shizuru didn't find either amusing or interesting. Those included the stories the bluette had shared and was sharing in between bites to the other tenants about her new partner, the man whom sixteen years old romance novel junkie Himiko had described as "a total hottie."

(While Shizuru had found him to be ruggedly handsome, she had felt no attraction whatsoever - she blamed her young age... maybe)

Shizuru hadn't found him to be unpleasant at all, unlike Natsuki apparently had. Much the contrary, she had found him to be a polite, likable person with a good sense of humor, whom she was sure Natsuki could easily grow to be friends with if she simply bothered to give him the chance. However, she knew Natsuki, and she knew Natsuki's old partner, Kumaji-san, and the kind of hole the young (relatively speaking) detective had to fill to replace him.

She knew perfectly well Natsuki had been intentionally making herself detestable to her new partner – something that Shizuru knew first hand Natsuki could do very well indeed. Her friend had a stubborn streak that reached the point of foolishness sometimes, and this, she felt, was one of those times. She knew Natsuki well enough to guess what plan she had: to push everyone away until Akitori-san put her back with Kumaji-san.

She seriously doubted the uncompromising Chief would do anything of the sort.

She also knew words wouldn't make Natsuki change her mind until she went through at least half a dozen partners, who would be increasingly less competent or compatible with her than Tanaka-san. Thus, her most precious friend would be in more danger, or at least wouldn't be as happy. Just thinking this made Shizuru frown lightly in disapproval (a reaction extreme enough for her that the tomboyish Yumei asked her if everything was all right through a mouthful of syrupy pancake, and was of course scolded gently by Fumi-obaachan).

No, Shizuru decided, this simply would not do.

However, perhaps… perhaps there was a way…

-

Half an hour later, Shizuru walked back inside from escorting Natsuki to the police car as she always did, and surprised quite a few tenants when, instead of completing her morning routine by picking the novel she was currently engrossed into, she headed directly for the two antique-styled but fully functional phones as soon as she entered the main room. Those tenants immediately wondered what number she dialed, a number she had apparently memorized, despite never having been seen actually calling anyone before. A few seconds after she had hit the last number, the look on her face told someone had picked it up.

"Yes, I am Fujino Shizuru, a friend of Natsuki. I would like to speak to Chief Constable Akitori-san, if it is not inopportune of me to ask."

Everyone recognized the name; the seemingly redoubtable police chief had featured in quite a few of Natsuki's stories. Shizuru made a small acknowledging noise to whoever she was talking to, then waited a few more seconds, looking deep in thought. There was a light in her crimson eyes that made some of the older tenants nervous; something… mischievous.

Shizuru was also known throughout the orphanage to be a girl with a surprisingly impish sense of humor. The fervently Buddhist Tsubasa-chan closed her hands around her beads and sent a short prayer at Natsuki.

"Yes, I did," Shizuru suddenly said; she was apparently talking to the police chief. "Am I right to believe you would like to see Natsuki and Tanaka-san cooperating with their partnership?"

A short pause later, she continued, "yes… will you listen?" Whatever the answer was on the other side, it made a smile-that-was-not-a-smile appear on the fourteen years old brunette's face. "Then here's my idea…"

A few seconds later, another prayer was sent Natsuki's way.

-

As she listened to the young teen over the phone, a smile grew itself on Chief Akitori's face. It was not a nice smile. In fact—

"Chief, I got the reports you asked for abou---EEK!" Insert the sound of a pile of paper shuffling to the floor here.

"Ah... Just a second, Fujino-san-- Ichidouji, are you all right?"

"…s…scary…"

Not a nice smile, indeed.

-

-------------

-

Being a receptionist in a police station meant that one heard about the most lurid criminal actions perpetrated by some of the worst felons in Japan, just as much as some of the most insignificant minor infractions committed by the rejects of society. This ranged from theft to burglary, from missing people to kidnapping and ransom, from minor injuries to murder, from assault and battery to—

--squeak"---assault against common sense!"

--assault against common sen—huh?

Shocked out of her boredom-induced stupor, Sakurazaki Haruko watched as the team now known throughout the station as Princess and Tanuki (Haruko tried not to wonder to what point the nickname fit him; this, of course, meant she failed) walked in through the front door, and caught only the end of what seemed to be an argument on… music?

"I mean, come on, Techno is just mindless boom booms with electronic beeps thrown around. A crashing computer can do that," Princess was saying.

"Techno does not sound like a crashing computer," Tanuki sounded offended.

"…all right, I admit it, you're right," Natsuki suddenly and surprisingly declared.

"I am?"

"Yup: a crashing computer comes with a lot of cursing, so I guess we can say they actually have lyrics, which Techno doesn't have."

"You're saying Metal has lyrics!"

"Yes it does!"

"You can't even understand them!"

"I do know some English!"

"'I am eating an apple' or 'I like Mayonnaise' do not count as knowing English. Besides, I wasn't only talking about English metal, even Japanese Metal is impossible to understand; they could be repeating "I like to jog freeballing" and you wouldn't know it. They all sound like some constipated guy is sitting on the crapper and pushing, with a bunch of car accidents happening in the background----- Ah, Haruko, which is better: Techno, or Metal?"

The pretty-faced receptionist blinked at suddenly being included in the discussion, then "hmm"ed thoughtfully before replying, "Well, I've always been more of a J-Pop fan myself, so…" she trailed off a the incredulous looks she received. As one, the two partners turned to look at each other.

"Let's ask someone with musical tastes that matter," princess suggested. ("HEY!" went the receptionist.)

"Agreed," said Tanuki.

Haruko huffed in irritation. "Then go ask the Chief, she wants to see you two again."

"Again!" Tanuki groaned. "If this keeps up, I'll get the habit of going straight to her office first thing in the morning."

"Besides, she likes those boring songs with trumpets… um… Jaws or something—"

"Jazz?" He supplied. She nodded.

"She likes that, anyway," she finished, before freezing as she seemed to realize something. "Er… wait, did anyone remember to—"

Anticipating her question, the receptionist raised her steaming cup of coffee over the counter ("Kiss the cute ones," said the pink heart-shaped speech bubble said by the cavity-inducingly-cute super-deformed purple rabbit drawn on the cup) "Three people did," she replied, "we received Thirty-three bags this morning; the problem won't be running out, but it'll be drinking it all before it goes bad."

The little girl sighed in relief; Yuuki echoed the feeling. Cyclone Akitori had hopefully regressed to a severe tropical storm.

-

The chief wasn't alone in her office when Yuuki knocked at the door, but she motioned them in anyway. After the pair had settled themselves on the available chairs, the voluptuous woman proceeded to introduce the fourth occupant of the room.

Rokubungi Shigehiro was a graying aged officer whose wrinkled face was stony and serious-looking, with a neutral frown and pinched lips set in a thin line. His uniform, which he wore so impeccably it might as well have been an example picture taken from a trainee's textbook, proclaimed him to have the rank of Lieutenant. His eyes were cold an emotionless, his shoes were too meticulously clean and shiny—hell, even his nose-pinching oval-rimmed glasses were too clear, and even as she looked, he pulled out a handkerchief from his uniform's chest pocket and wiped some imaginary speck of dust from them. In Natsuki's rapidly shaping opinion, he seemed to be way too serious to be any fun.

Plus, his name was the biggest mouthful she had ever heard.

"Lieutenant Rokubungi's team was recently split," the chief continued after introducing him, "and seeing as I've been starting to have doubts on the grounds of your partnership, I've decided to introduce you to the-- alternatives. Should you end up working with them better than with your current partner, the transfer will be made permanent by this evening."

Both Yuuki and Natsuki mentally cheered (betrayed by a small kick from her short leg and a tiny twitch in his tanned cheek), but while the latter ignored the tiny pause in her words, the former noticing it and filing it for later. The Lieutenant seemed to be a total bore and, Yuuki deduced, was most likely the source of the split, which meant the other prospective partner couldn't be as bad; took a wild guess and decided the other partner would probably come later; there wasn't any seats left, after all.

"Kuga-san will therefore be assigned to the traffic-control division under the title of Lieutenant Rokubungi's partner for today," the Chief said, to the mild consternation of the young teen, who had obviously been wishing she'd get the other one. "Any questions?"

"Just one." Rokubungi spoke up in a nasal voice. For a moment, Yuuki was expecting him to wonder if this was a joke, as, no matter how you looked at her, the brat was simply too young to do police work, but the older officer surprised him: "Has Kuga-dono been informed of the regulations concerning the tasks expected to be performed by agents affiliated to the Traffic Control Division, Shochou-dono?" (1)

Yuuki snickered silently while the little girl's face paled in horror; he sounded even stuffier than he looked! It was obvious, from the look in her eyes, that she was wondering something along the lines of 'why the hell do I end up with the stick-in-the-mud!'

The Chief pretended not to notice and answered, "I'm afraid she hasn't for the moment; I trust you can correct that, Lieutenant Rokubungi." At his nod, she turned toward Yuuki. "Detective Tanaka, give Kuga-san's key to Lieutenant Rokubungi." And he did, under a positively horrified green-eyed stare. "Now get going, and Kuga-san, please explain how your collar works to Rokubungi-san. Be sure to tell him properly, we wouldn't want him neutralizing you by mistake."

And, to Yuuki's surprise and Natsuki's complete horror, the graying man showed no signs of surprise of any kind, as if little girls wearing collars capable of knocking them out with the push of a button were nothing unusual, before getting up and leaving, hesitantly trailed by a very, very reluctant Natsuki. The door shut behind them with a soft click, and Yuuki let himself hope this would be the last time he would see the little girl.

In a not-dead way, of course; he didn't hate her that much.

…Mostly, he decided, because he hadn't had the time to.

"Now, as for you, Tanuki," she said with none of the protocolar distance she'd obviously been using for the Lieutenant's benefit, "your partner for today is waiting for you in your squad car, in lot 27. There's a missing animal case flagged for you two, it's unimportant enough to test how you two work together."

"Can you tell me a bit about him... or her?" Yuuki asked hopefully as they stood. The chief opened the door.

"He," she stressed, to his mild disappointment, "is a recently promoted detective, like you. His name is Oyama Junbo, and--"

The door shut silently, leaving the office deserted. Not a minute later, it opened once more and the chief, alone, entered. She immediately went to the window, picking her steaming cup of coffee ("My bite is worse," said the super-deformed toothily grinning bulldog printed on it) from her desk along the way, and gazed down at the parking lot, easily finding the long-haired officer as he headed for the car and met his new partner. A toothy, shark-like grin drew itself on her face.

"Here's your new partner, Tanaka-san," she muttered smugly, taking a sip from her cup, "I hope you don't get along."

-

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MaiHiME

Book 1

Fresco

-

Disclaimer:
I don't own Mai HiME
So all you lawyers should stay away
I also can't write poetry
To save my... um... poultry?

Special thanks to: Sebastian Palm for pre-reading this chapter and preventing me from making a fool of myself (too much).

-

Chapter 3: Violet Python

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-

When one thinks about hell, generally, a mental picture of a desolate fiery wasteland covered with lava, brimstone and acrid smoke, inhabited by horrible sadistic demons enjoying the tortured screams of the mutilated souls of sinners comes to mind. However, Natsuki, as she gazed longingly outside the passenger window of the squad car she was caught inside, decided that while they had the torture and mutilation right, those who had initially made this description were wrong on quite a few points. First, there was no lava or brimstone, only metal and glass, and the only smoke there was came out of the car's exhaust pipe.

Second, while the horrible being sitting in the seat beside her and--

"Section 10, Paragraph 3, concerning dual-wheeled motored vehicles, the police car should remain at least three meters away and use the siren to avoid endangering the safety of the delinquent…"

and quoting entire paragraphs of boring traffic-related regulations couldn't possibly be human, he didn't exactly seem like he was enjoying torturing her with boredom. Of course, the cold expressionless face might be his kind's way of showing amusement, she amended darkly as she did her best not to listen.

'Please put me out of my misery... let someone ram into this car in just the right way to hit the red button...' This was something else that bothered her; whereas Kumaji and Tanaka had both usually stored her collar's remote in their pockets, Rockybungee (as she had started to think of him while picturing the old man 'enjoying' said activity, which involved a bridge built over a quarry of particularly sharp-edged rocks and a Bungee rope just a few inches too long) was keeping it right next to the handbrake. His reasoning had been sound, though; "It's easier and faster to access it if I leave it there."

...this, of course, meant that either he didn't trust Natsuki, either he wanted to leave her a message or either he was simply not thinking outside of the rule that said he was required to keep it close at hand at all times in her presence (which she now regretted mentioning). After spending the last hour in his presence, she had little doubt the latter reason was the real one, as the man seemed to need regulations to eat, drink and breathe.

And while she didn't exactly feel threatened (he wouldn't do a thing as long as she didn't do something stupid, like summon her Child inside the car for no reason), it was a constant reminder of the fate literally hanging from her neck, which she of course didn't appreciate.

"--at all times and are you listening, Kuga-dono?"

"Uh...? Oh! Um, yes!" she slowly lied, internally wincing as he frowned disapprovingly - it barely showed.

"Then, tell me what, in order, a police officer assigned to the Traffic Control Division should do in the presence of a suspected drunk driver."

"Uh... a drunk driver, hm? ...um... heh… uh…" she stammered, racking her brains. Internally, she cursed. Damnit, why did she end up with him? There was no way that damn pervert's partner was this bad.

-------------

'The damn brat's partner can't be this bad,' Tanaka Yuuki decided mentally with a sideway glance at "Junbo". Be it one of fate's quirky jokes, a self-fulfilling prophecy or a cruel parent with an educated guess, the other detective's name, which oh so sounded like Oyama (Great Mountain) Jumbo, fit him like a glove.

A very large glove. Like most of his clothes, probably.

Yuuki was fairly sure the other detective cheated or sneaked his way through the mandatory routine health inspections, because there was no way the downright obese man sitting on the passenger seat and filling it completely (and then some) with his voluminous behind could pass them. Had the Chief allowed him to see a picture of his face, he would have seen the problem right away; he had a protuberant double chin and squirrel-like bulbous cheeks, and his neck seemed to ooze out of his too-small uniform, which appeared to be ready to burst at the seams despite being the largest size available.

"…so then I said 'I'll take a box of those jelly ones,' and she said 'Will you want a coffee with that'… get it? Coffee with jelly donuts!"

…He also had the worst sense of humor Yuuki had ever had the displeasure of suffering through. And his laughter sounded like a pig with a bad cold trying to sniff.

"Hehe… omph, take a reft he'e," Oyama said through a mouthful of donuts, extracted from the half-empty box lying on his bulging belly. The map was open, resting its bottom edge on his blubbery legs and help upright by his chubby fingers stained with donut grease. The confection was releasing a strong sweet odor that he found to be sickeningly uncomfortable, and even his open window was barely enough to make it tolerable.

He turned left at the next corner, then gave a glance at his 'partner', who was masticating loudly with his porcine cheeks puffed and his mouth partially open. "And now?"

"Now, um..." a brief inspection of the map later, he swallowed his bite and said, "…Oh, we should have turned at the next one, sorry. This street leads to… uh… which direction are we going in again? North or… uh… East or West?" (The latter was delivered even as the car sped past a street sign showing this path bore the name of "Iwakura Avenue South", which he had, of course, not noticed.)

He also couldn't keep his bearings straight on a map.

Resisting the urge to curse, Yuuki looked around the street searching for a place to turn around for the third time since they had left the station (experience having taught that it was a bad idea to let him redirect him), while ignoring the nauseating way his partner stuffed the rest of his donut in his mouth.

Oh, how he wished he had got the brat's partner; at least he seemed to be remotely competent.

-

-------------

-

"60... 61... 52..."

Resisting the urge to yawn, Natsuki continued to read the numbers on the speed-o-meter as cars passed fluidly on the fast lane in front of them, none of them daring to step over the 65 km/h limit in their presence. Her partner hadn't moved an inch since they had parked themselves in the vacant parking lot, both hands tightly clenched on the steering wheel and one foot just above the accelerator, a look of tense readiness in his eyes that made the young bluette feel uneasy.

He reminded her of a hunting cat getting ready to pounce for the kill. An absolutely boring old cat, of course.

"62... 60, 60, 61..." Today was officially the pits. "63, 62… 64, 66--gawp!"

The latter was squeaked when the old officer suddenly flicked on the siren and crushed the gas pedal, sending the patrol car flying into traffic. Natsuki screamed as they almost ran into a van, squeaked nervously when she saw the rapidly approaching eighteen wheeler on the driver's side - her remote! - and let out a relieved sigh as the squad car set itself on the lane and began the chase.

"What was that for? You could have killed us!" she shouted over the blear of the siren.

Instead of replying, he picked up the radio handset and said, "Rokubungi to station, Code 3-A, one above, 10-28 for H5J 7ER," with enough fluency to make Natsuki's head spin.

"...uh... 10-4... I think," was the radio operator's much less enthusiastic reply.

After a short-lived chase, the docile overspeeding - barely! - driver slowed to a stop on the leftmost lane. (2) Once the patrol car was parked behind it, Rokubungi turned toward Natsuki and said, "Since you aren't old enough to drive, I will have to ask you to do the intervention."

"M-ME!" Natsuki gasped. "B-But--"

"Regulations demand that at least one driving-capable officer remains in the car during the intervention, to offer assistance in case of resistance, or use the radio to call for help, or to drive the officer directly to the hospital in case of injuries."

"But I can use the radio," the little girl protested, "and I can use my powers, so I'm a better support if--"

"The rules say that I must use the remote if you summon your elements or your Child without proper authorization, and nowhere in the Traffic Control Department Regulations is it said when it is legal to authorize it. Therefore, any use of your powers will result in your collar's activation in the manner I see fit."

And Natsuki stared in complete shock. Without her HiME powers, she was just normal thirteen years old girl!

"Don't worry, I will complete the contravention for you; I have not forgotten you are not a sworn officer and are therefore not sanctioned to write up contraventions," he continued, completely misunderstanding her shock and confusing it instead for horror at supposedly breaking the rules. "Simply get his name, address and phone number, I can handle the rest after that. Now get going, he might decide to leave if we dally further, and might hit someone; I believe I am also allowed to use it if you show dangerous levels of disobedience."

Flinching, Natsuki reluctantly picked up the blank contravention and the pen he handed to her, then walked out of the patrol car nervously; she could feel her knees wobbling, although she wondered why; it wasn't like giving someone a contravention was as scary as stopping a murderer (been there), killing an Orphan (done that), or catching a thief (got the T-shirt he stole as a gift).

Of course, that wasn't scary nearly in the same way. Death threats and physically dangerous situations, she could handle easily enough; she was HiME, after all. Embarrassment or humiliation, well...

...she was thirteen, after all.

She had never felt so helpless since her Crowning; she did not like the feeling.

The driver of the other car, a clean-shaved Japanese man wearing a blue shirt with the top two buttons undone and a mostly untied necktie, stared at her bemusedly through the door mirror as she approached, and lowered his window before she even had to ask.

"Um, excuse me, is this a joke?" he asked, "Because I'm almost late to my daughter's piano show, and she'll be mad at me for days if I'm late."

Feeling utterly foolish, Natsuki felt her mood darken from fear to annoyance.

"It's no joke, you were overspeeding," she replied grumpily. Unfortunately, the driver seemed to misunderstand her bad mood as an attempt to look tough, because his bemusement turned into irritation.

"I know I didn't..." then, his irritation turned into surprise, then, to her surprise, delight, "Wait, this is one of those camera jokes, isn't it? What show is it for? Where's the camera?"

"It's not a joke, and you crossed one Km/h over the limit... uh..." she faltered when his eyes widened incredulously, then sheepishly explained, "my partner is... um... special."

"What, he's six and a half?" the driver joked, looking around for the camera. When he didn't find one, he shrugged. "Look, kid, these shows are fun and all, but I really have to go. Wait, what show is this for, anyway? Yumiko-chan might forgive me if I'm late because I'm on TV--"

Rolling her eyes, Natsuki decided to cut it as short as she could, even if she had to play along. "I'll need your name, your address and phone number."

"Wha--is there some kind of prize?" She shook her head. "Uh... well, I'm not giving my real name on TV--is there a micro somewhere? Where's the camera--is it that light over th--"

"Please tell me, so we can both get going."

"No need to be rude, kid... it's... uh... oh wait, I know... the name's Smith."

"Smith?" She repeated flatly; he looked as American as the emperor.

"Yes," he replied with a grin. "John Smith the third. Junior."

She rolled her eyes, wrote it down, not caring if it was true or not, then asked, "Phone number?"

"Phone number too? Um... let's see... 346-1564."

'Hitogoroshi. Cute,' (3) Natsuki thought as she dutifully noted it down (although she didn't get the first half of the joke, and why he had said it in English – and wasn't six supposed to pronounced Shi-ku-su and not Se-ku-su?), then asked again, "Address?"

"Address... um... 1600, Tani ni pen."

'1600, Pens in the valley…?' she repeated mentally with a puzzled blink, not quite getting it either, but wrote it down anyway, before setting off toward the patrol car with a flat, "Thank you."

"It might be funnier if you'd smile a bit, kid," he noted. She rolled her eyes.

Once she got to the Patrol Car's door, Rokubungi took the contravention from her hands through the open window and read it...

"Did you ask Mister Smith for proof of his ID?" he asked.

"Yes," she lied.

...without realizing the "subterfuge" at all. In record time, the dour officer had completed it, and she found herself handing a whopping five hundred yen contravention to the other driver.

"It even looks like a real one," he noted cheerfully with a grin. "So, what show am I on?"

"Camerajokers, it hasn't been announced yet," she lied. Sometimes, it was better not to hold to the truth. "The camera was in that window over there, thank you for humoring our viewer."

The driver had been too busy looking at the electronics shop she had pointed at and saying "oh, I see… clever, clever," to notice her ill-disguised jab at the overbearing Lieutenant. "Well, I have to go now," he said. "Yumiko won't forgive me if I'm too late. Have a nice day, Chibi-tantei!"(4) the latter was delivered in a winning tone and a matching smile that were most likely meant to whatever 'viewers' would see him, just before he closed his window and set off cheerfully.

Natsuki spared a thought to wonder how he'd react to learning he really was supposed to pay five hundred yen for having crossed one Km/h over the limit (under the name of John Smith III jr., no less) as she climbed back in her seat in the police car. Once settled, she turned toward her partner.

"So, what now?" she asked.

Then, he handed her the speed-o-meter, and she started to regret it.

At least the damn pervert had been interesting to talk to, she thought darkly.

-

If you need to know, mister Smith Junior III ended up being late enough to earn himself a good afternoon of fussiness, but was forgiven quickly enough. His daughter never did believe him after the mysterious show never aired, but three scoops of chocolate fudge ice cream in a candy-sparkled cone proved to be an acceptable bribe to begin the conciliation talks.

-

-------------

-

In a city as tightly cramped as Tokyo, single-family houses are a rarity, usually exclusively found in richer areas of the city, such as the district this house was found into, the anime-famed Azabu-Juuban.

The house in question was two-stories tall, with a small window peeking out from the side near the driveway hinting on a basement. White-walled and black roofed, it seemed to be quite spacious and, in a city where room was a precious commodity, was obviously extremely expensive, easily in the hundreds of millions of yen. This was a house meant for a director, a university teacher, a famous artist or someone equally wealthy.

Yuuki had given an impressed whistle as he had slowed their police car to a stop in front of it. His partner had to have the facts pointed out to him before he understood.

Their client, a very attractive young woman, had opened the door when he had rung. She had an almond-shaped face fit for a model, dyed red-black hair and traits that, had they not been marred by intense worry, would have probably been absolutely stunning; as it was, they were merely beautiful to look at. Her figure was almost perfect, a bit thin at the waist perhaps, and her legs were fine and toned beneath the knee-length skirt she was wearing. Even her hands were beautiful, especially the left one, where a beautiful ornate ring that reflected the sun's light with its multiple diamonds told Yuuki she was already married.

...damn.

The woman had proceeded to tell him about her cat, Yukihime, named such ('Snow princess') from her thick coat of uniformly white fur. Yukihime was apparently a picky eater, scoffing at cat food and accepting only what the rest of the house was eating (which had caused them to eat more fish than they would have otherwise), and easily recognizable from a particularly visible case of Heterochromia; her left eye was a deep blackish green, while the other was a blue as bright as the morning sky, as shown in a picture of her the woman had shown him.

Yuuki had seen something else from that picture; the family's daughter, a pretty brunette around the brat's age (Damnit! Why were they either all taken or too young!) who had obviously taken her looks from the mother, was very much attached to this cat, as proved by how she had her arms flung around it and was grinning widely, and at how the cat didn't seem to mind the overbearing contact.

As for the case itself, Yukihime had apparently not been seen in the last four days, despite the woman's best efforts to find her. Her daughter was due to come back in two days, and she would be devastated if Yukihime wasn't back by then. Yuuki had assured her he would find her, and had left.

Finding lost cats wasn't all that complicated, especially if they were as distinctive and rich-bred as that one. Cats were territorial, after all, and in four days, she couldn't have gone very far. Had the cat been male, the story might have been different, as it would have been possible that another male would have chased it out of the area, but female cats tended to be much less aggressive toward one another unless they were approaching heat. He felt confident he could do it.

When he had come back to the police car, he had related this information to his partner, who had stayed in the car to, quote, "make sure no one does anything to it", unquote. To be honest, Yuuki was fairly sure he simply couldn't get up from his seat. He was willing to believe the man's bulk was stopping his blood vessels from reaching his legs.

He had replied, while pensively stroking his double chin with his fat fingers, "Four days... it could have gone anywhere. You might as well go back there and tell her we'll never find it. It's probably roadkill, by now. Or maybe some dog ate it."

…which brought Yuuki to his current situation: the realization that his new partner was truly useless. Despite repeated hints, he had completely failed to grasp where one would be most likely to find a lead on a cat who liked to eat only human food, and was very used to eating fish - a restaurant or a fisher shop - instead preferring to launch himself on some half-thought story about how the cat had most likely found its way to a garbage barge (in four days, despite the nearest access to the water being quite a distance away and thus quite outside of its range) and would be very hard to find on a Junkyard Island somewhere. If it wasn't dead already.

And he continued to believe it, even as Yuuki had explained to him the multiple reasons why this couldn't be true; the main one being that the house cat, used to the luxuries of living in a human house, would have never had the speed or the stamina to reach the shore in four days, and that, being a picky eater, it would not go for trash if it could.

To which Junbo had replied an emphasis on "if it could", as if there was no other source of food for wild animals in all of Tokyo except for trash, along with some fancy story Yuuki doubted immensely about some cat managing to swim from Hokkaido to Okinawa either in 1920 or 1930 (as he had used different dates throughout the story).

At least the brat's arguments were logical for the most part, he reflected darkly.

And about that, he had caught the chief's message about the one-day partnerships loud and clear: "Cooperate with each other, or face the consequences". Personally, he thought the blame could mostly be put on the brat's shoulders, but he did have to admit having been less than enthusiastic about it.

She was thirteen, for God's sake!

Just as Yuuki had expected, it had been easy to find a lead on the missing animal; about two streets away from the house, the owner of a sushi restaurant admitted to having seen and fed one such cat with leftovers just this morning. A few interrogated nearby shop owners had said to have seen it not so long ago, on Friday and Saturday; its white fur made it stick out like a sore thumb, and the eyes made it quite memorable.

Within an hour, he had made himself a fairly good idea of what its territory was - it was small, as expected, and included its mistress home within its bounds - and there were very few areas it could have made its 'home' into.

There were also few reasons for it to have escaped from its cozy home like that, and he had the sneaking suspicion he knew what it was. This suspicion was amplified by the fact that, while it had been quite active for the first two days, no one had reported seeing it yesterday, yet it had been seen, apparently very hungry, this morning.

Yes, Yuuki was seriously thinking the cat might have been pregnant, and had given birth yesterday. He cursed himself for not asking the woman if it had acted unusually or gained unexplainable weight; the daughter was young, so perhaps she couldn't tell and had simply thought it was gaining weight, and the woman had honestly not looked that close to it, so it was possible she simply hadn't noticed; it was a very furry cat, after all.

This meant getting Yukihime back to her mistress was going to be a chore, unless he had help to carry both the cat and the kittens.

A glance at the officer sitting on the passenger seat later, Yuuki sighed.

Now just where was he going to find that help?

-

He did manage to get his 'Partner' to get up when he had decided they'd gathered enough information to start looking for real, but only after threatening to tell the Chief that Junbo was being uncooperative. The obese detective seemed to be at the limit of the fearsome Chief's patience, and didn't want/couldn't afford to piss her off further, thus making her a redoubtable weapon to use against him.

The two detectives spent the next few minutes wandering in the alleys behind the shops, where Yuuki felt they had the best chance of finding their quarry. He had dismissed his partner's hungry suggestion of waiting in one of the restaurants she had visited before, as they didn't have the luxury of time to wait (at least, he didn't think so, having promised to bring her back to her mistress as quickly as he could) and, mostly, because he had no wish to see him stuffing his face again.

Japanese police had a good reputation; it wouldn't do for the public to see that, and especially from two detectives on duty.

Junbo was complaining about being tired and hungry - that is, twenty minutes after having left the car - by the time they found her, at an intersection near a residential side-street; peerlessly white fur seeming to shine on its own under the noon sun, one brightly shining blue and one almost black eye giving the impression that one of its eyes had been switched with a sapphire or an obsidian, it saw them just as they did--

"THERE IT IS!" Junbo exclaimed, pointing. The startled cat immediately burst into a dead run back into the alley. Cursing, Yuuki followed, while his partner took two wobbly steps forward, stopped, then shouted, "I'll go back to the car… uh… someone might steal it!"

Understandably, Yuuki muttered something unrepeatable at the transparent fool (what total idiot would steal a police car, anyway!). The little white blur up ahead ducked around obstacles with the grace of... well, a cat, between the rows of chain-link, wall or hedge-fenced backyards that framed the alley. Yuuki tried, but as he wasn't a cat, he ended up--

Thump--frap "OUCH!"

...tripping over a stray garbage bag and falling on his hands, scraping them on the pebbly alley ground. Wincing and pushing himself up on his knees (wincing again at the slight strained pain in his ankle), he watched as Yukihime ducked through a hedge on the left side.

"Damn cat..." he muttered darkly.

Inspecting the fence a dozen seconds later, he discovered the cat had apparently found a part of the hedge-fence where the plant had hooked a branch into the chain-link fence below and slowly raised it with the strength of its growth; she had only had to dig a little to make herself a path under the fence. Yuuki knew there was no way he was doing to make it through. Instead, he climbed a neighboring chain-link fence - "Tokyo police, just passing through," he told the alarmed grandmother sitting on the second floor balcony of the house the yard he stepped into was part of - ran all the way through to the street, turned toward the house with the hedge-fence and--
...stopped in utter shock.

"…no way."

Yukihime had gone home on her own.

-

It had turned out to have an interesting conclusion. The mistress of the house had been completely unaware of her cat's presence in her own yard, proving Yukihime hadn't returned to her. An inspection of the fence from inside the yard had proved that there was no escape route except through the way the cat had gone through, or rather, no escape route that led away from the yard.

One of the basement windows on the left side of the house, the closest side to the hedge where a few spiders had comfortably made their webs thanks to the sheer lack of visitors it received, had been open - the woman had recognized the room it had left to as a disused storage room that contained nothing old coats, extra blankets, Christmas lights or other very rarely used objects, and thus was supposed to remain firmly shut.

Once inside the room, mistress and cat were reunited (amidst much annoyed mewing from the latter's part) and, lying blind and naked in a warm nest of discarded blankets, a half dozen perfectly healthy day-old rat-like kittens had been found, sleeping soundly.

The woman had offered sincere apologies for the 'useless' disturbance and thanked him profusely with a struggling cat in her arms. He had replied, with a winning smile, that it had been no problem and that it was his job.

She hadn't even blushed.

Damn whoever came up with the concept of marriage, anyway.

Or maybe that was because his uniform was still dirty, and his smelled sweaty from having run so much?

He'd had plenty of time to reflect on this afterward, as it took a good half hour for his useless partner to find the street and fetch him.

-

-------------

-

"Aniki, how much longer? She's trying to bite through the gag."

"Mph---"

"Not much... Beru-kun, what time is it?"

"Don't call me that, Tetsuo!"

"Can it with my real name, will you? She heard it!"

"Doesn't matter, she won't live long anyway."

"Mph!"

"It's... half to noon. How about we do it now?"

"Hm... let's see..." the sound of something shuffling, "heh, red: let's do it now. Bro?"

"Mpphh---"

"Don't worry, girl, this won't hurt me one bit. Hehehe."

"Mph!"

"H-hey, don't fight--hey-ow! Why you--OW! Stop kicking! OW!"

-

-------------

-

"...seventh Orphan attack in United States territory handled by the US army's special Anti-Orphan division, known as Orphan Destruction Regiment, or OrDeR, since its inception last year. While the Orphan was indeed destroyed, the damage dealt is evaluated to be in the hundreds of millions of American dollars, and witnesses say that not only did OrDeR cause at least half the damage, but they also received substantial help from two volunteer HiMEs."

Natsuki resisted a yawn that almost forced its way through her mouth. The news, the international news at that, were playing on the radio, and while the thirteen years old HiME couldn't care less about them (except, in her pride as a HiME, to give a great mental "hah!" at what common sense claimed to be stupid idea), she had to admit it was better than the stony silence that had ruled in the police car before she had managed to convince her grouch of a one-day only (thank god!) partner to turn it on.

Apparently, even semi-senile regulation freaks were still vulnerable to crocodile tears. It bore noting.

"That's all for international news, this was Hashimoto Izumiko, for Nack5," the monotone 'bad news' female announcer concluded, and was immediately replaced by a preppy young man with a grin in his voice and a catchy rapid beat in the background.

"Good morning everyone, and welcome to Meister Miyavi's Musical Noontime! This is the man, the Meister himself, talking to you live from our studios here at 79.5, Nack5, Tokyo's number one pop music station. Let's go straight to the songs that were most requested through our number, 795-NACK, 795-6225, or our website at triple double-u dot Nack5 dot co dot jp, since this time yesterday, and please keep voting for your favorite song. In tenth position, we have, once again, the song that's easily the most cutely addictive song ever written; loss of one position since yesterday, we have Dimitri from Paris, with their surprise hit… well, you know it by now, I hope!"

Natsuki froze. She was not a regular listener of the radio, but that name... she remembered that name… it couldn't be…

The first notes started to play and she had to resist the urge to reach over and turn the radio down; it had been hard enough to convince Rockybungee that no, the radio wouldn't get in the way of their precious duties that—

Eek, here it comes--

"♫Neko-mimi mode!♪" (5)

-

…then the screams started.

-

-------------

-

Slow, evenly spaced and long lived guitar chords and clopping feet obviously meant to resemble the footsteps of a slowly marching horse accompanied a somewhat melodious, if depressing, mournful male voice that told of unfolding tales of woe. Every few lines, a violin went and added a lingering monotone hum while the singer took a deep, somewhat exaggerated shaky breath before resuming.

And, over it all, there was this sound, like a discordant, badly crafted fiddle being tortured by a wailing cat, that went like this:

"Oh when za san raizas' ovaa za vareii, Ai'ru be bakku in yuur armzu mai Honei"

Wincing at the sound (and vowing he would get his MP3 player unpacked as quickly as he could), Yuuki made another heartfelt wish that he could kill the radio, or at least his partner, the source of the wailing in question. It had been his bad surprise to find out the obese man currently sitting in the driver seat not only enjoyed country music (which he personally thought of as the badly sung whining of randy cowboys), but also enjoyed Karaoke.

And had an Engrish accent worthy of landing in a bad science-fiction Anime.

'He must be the life of a party,' Yuuki reflected wryly, flinching as his partner missed a particularly long and high-pitched note. 'A cancerous party in terminal phase, that is.'

As the song entered a mournful instrumental of mishandled guitars (to which Junbo hummed along, to Yuuki's horror), the Kansai detective turned to gaze outside, hoping to see something that would take his attention away from his ears' panicked pleas.

The white and black police car was close the northern limits of Minato-ku, where it shared its border with the ward of Chiyoda. The neighbor was home to the Imperial palace and most government buildings, and it showed increasingly in the surroundings as they approached the limit. A two stories tall office, home to a bank and a lawyer's office (a winning combination if he'd ever seen one), was squeezed between a large affiliated Manga shop and a jewelry shop. On the other side of the street, beyond the voluminous mass of his partner, there was some kind of small antiquity museum/shop, from where a wrinkled harried woman guiding a small flock of bored-looking kids was exiting - most likely a daycare center group, as this was golden week and thus school trips were out of question.

The car was stopped by a red light at a large intersection framed by a large sushi restaurant and an elaborate souvenir shop filled with tourists by the time the music mercifully ended. Soon after the final few notes, a tonal man with a smooth, trying-to-be-excited low pitched voice Yuuki personally found sounded like a frog croaking on a 2 piston engine started to speak.

"You've just heard the 'ballad of the traveler' and its haunting melody," he said ("Haunting in a 'make the dead cry for release' way, he means," Yuuki muttered under his breath), "up next in our Greatest Country Songs of the winter, we have "Welcome home, honey", followed by "White Cow Blues"." Yuuki groaned as guitars started again, this time accompanied by a slowly humming contrabass. "I can guarantee you; it will rock your world."

...and the street exploded in a shower of dust, rock and concrete.

-

-------------

-

Natsuki watched in horror as a literal cloud of debris suddenly rose about fifteen meters ahead as the street and sidewalk were ripped apart by something monstrously large bursting through it. A mini-van that had been crossing the intersection found itself thrown in the air by the blast, crashing deafeningly and skidding to a stop at the police car's side; through her window, Natsuki could see the van's driver, hanging limply upside-down by his safety belt, an ominous red strain growing in his hair.

"Kisu, Kisu, Kisu...♫" the radio obliviously droned on.

Through the dust, a massive outline drew itself, at first looking like some kind of giant gorilla, but slowly defining itself as the dust settled. It was a monster that looked like an odd mix between the lobster, a scorpion, a large monkey and a mutated ant; huge reddish orange pincers rose from short stocky arms connected to an orange humanoid chest and torso, from where the body became insectlike with at least a dozen yellowish legs and two crimson scorpion tails sticking out of a large abdomen. Its head, as red as the rest of it, was that of an ant's, complete with two pairs of sharp-looking mandibles, elbowed spindly antennas and---

"♪Neki-mimi mode de!♫"

...and ridiculous, furry, orange cat ears on its head.

Even as she looked, those little ears swiveled around, attracted by the screaming of a small group of terrorized children. With unexpected swiftness, the Orphan whirled toward them, one of its scorpion tails accidentally ramming into and shattering the front windows of the Sushi restaurant in front of Natsuki and Rokubungi's car amidst the terrorized screams of the patrons inside. Then, its many angular legs started to move, pushing the beast forward with surprising speed toward the children.

"Shit!" Natsuki cursed, throwing her door open and materializing her elements. Another Orphan! This had to be some kind of record!

She made six steps toward the monster before--

"Kuga-dono, you will dematerialize your Elements and get back in the car this instant," Rokubungi ordered. Natsuki wouldn't have listened, had he not been holding her remote in his hand with his thumb perilously close to the green button.

-

-------------

-

The instant the Orphan had turned to look at the kids, Yuuki had known it was about to attack them; its body, albeit as alien as could be, seemed to be tensing up for attack. He also knew they didn't have a chance to fight against the onslaught, and they were far too terrified to run; they clung in horrified panic to their teacher's legs, herself unable to move out of fear, and even if they could, the way it had adeptly spun on itself in surprisingly little time, he knew it could move much faster than them.

The idea of not helping them did not even cross his mind.

What did, though, were what options he had to stop it; jumping out and catching its attention was a gamble; there was no telling if it would even look at him, and if it didn't, they were doomed. Japanese Police officers do not carry guns, with which he could have at least made it look his way – it was a well known fact that even a Tank couldn't take out a rampaging Orphan – but the street was littered with enough jump from the cracked street that…

…yeah, that could work. But what then? The Orphan would just chase his way, and he would be in those kids' shoes—

The car! Of course! He could use it to trip it, hopefully for long enough to let him, his partner and the kids escape!

Plan in mind, he shoved the passenger door open and jumped out—

"Wh-Where—"

"Oyama," Yuuki interrupted, "ram the car into its legs on my signal!"

"Wha—"

He didn't wait for the rest of his partner's answer before picking up two stones from the ground and aiming at the charging Orphan; it had just started to move forward, but had already crossed the street – an unfortunate pole holding a streetlight above the ruined pavement found itself in its path and was promptly shoved out of the way by a careless push of its pincers; the metal tube bent with a deafening creak and the base was easily torn out of the sidewalk.

The first stone flew too far right, flew right in front of its multiple mandibles before crashing through the second floor window behind it; the monster didn't even blink. The second one, struck a raised pincer in the process of crushing a parking meter, and harmlessly bounced off with a somewhat hollow plastic-like sound.

"KYAAAHH!"

The screams of one of the little kids grew shriller and galvanized the rest into starting to run. It was too late, though. The monster was nearly on them. Cursing, Yuuki picked up a third piece of pavement, desperately aimed...

…and lady luck smiled on him. The monster suddenly stopped and let out a surprised shriek, which sounded like rusty breaks trying to stop an overspeeding bus, as its face became closely acquainted with low-hanging power cables hanging between the small museum and a nearby utility pole, causing a crackle of electricity. His target immobilized, Yuuki threw the rock; it flew a bit high, but clipped its cat-like ear as it passed--

"--SCREE---!"

To Yuuki's surprise, the monster let out a sudden shriek and moved one of its enormous pincers toward its head, to protect the obviously sensitive ears. The sudden movement tore two of the cables straight off the building they connected to with a bright flash of lightning and a sharp electric snap, and the rest were tugged sharply as it turned its head to stare with unreadable yellowish compound eyes at the detective.

Good. He had its attention. Now to drive it away from the buildings so Oyama could ram into it. The intersection was a waste and the streets peppered with debris, but there was fortunately a path for the police car to take, all he had to do was bait it and stay far enough to avoid its pincers; a difficult thing, considering that, had the electric cables not been hampering its movements, it was at about two seconds from reaching him.

The cables, though, held it back for a few seconds, at least until it gave a sharp tug and tore them off right the concrete utility pole, giving enough time for Yuuki to run to the other side of the street. Almost as soon as it started to run, he made the signal toward the police car (doing his best to ignore the way the Orphan had shoved the utility pole out of its path, breaking it sharply at the base), then waited...

"VRRR---!"

He welcomed the revving of the police car's engine with a smile, not taking his eyes away from the monster - just in case it was smart enough to tell his plan. However, the smile soon vanished...

"--VRRRrrrrrr..."

...when the sounds of the car grew dimmer. Risking a look, he saw the white and black car performing a beautiful backward U-turn, moving away from them as quickly as it could.

His cowardly partner had bailed.

"FUCK!"

And in front of him, the Orphan's massive pincer rose toward him. There was little doubt as to what it was planning to do: crush him to a bloody pulp. Yuuki tensed, getting ready to jump out of the way...

-

-------------

-

Natsuki watched as the Orphan dashed forward, leaving the pavement behind it peppered with holes made by each of its ten back legs, running toward the children who stupidly remained rooted in place. Instincts bred over four years of dangerous police work screamed at her to go for it and help. Her conscience was doing the same, and only her sense of self-preservation, drunk and generally ignored slob as it was, was holding her back. Not because of the danger, as she wouldn't be much of a HiME if she was scared of a fight, but because--

"Kuga-dono, this is your last warning," Rokubungi said, with that thrice damned remote in his hand. "You will dematerialize your elements and reenter the car or face the consequences."

...but because of that.

"B-But--" the Orphan screeched; she gave a look and found it to be entangled in electric cables. Good, that meant it wasn't too smart. Still, it had shoved a lamp post out of its path as if it was nothing, so she didn't expect a bunch of rubber and tin cables to hold it back for long. She had to hurry. "But those kids! That Orphan's going to kill them!"

"Slaying Orphans is not among the duties of the Tokyo Police's Traffic Control Division, and there are in fact rules against officers entering situations they are not properly equipped to handle." She opened her mouth, but he continued, "and before you mention them, your Elements may not be used under the current rules, not without demanding authorization. I'm afraid those children may not be saved legally."

"Screw the r---" she cut herself off and forced herself to calm down. She could not afford to piss him off now, not with his thumb so close to that damn button. If she was knocked out, she would lose, those kids would lose and everyone who would be hurt would lose.

The Orphan let out a strident screech; something had hurt it. Was it another HiME?

No, focus. She had to find a way to convince Rokubungi that she had every right to help. There had to be some way

Some way… some loophole…

Law… Yes, that's it…

What would that woman be saying right now? What would she say… something…

"Your Honor, laws are the guidelines of society. They exist to protect the innocent from those unscrupulous who would seek to harm them, and to insure Justice is given to those who deserve it. Yet there are moments when they act in unexpected ways to harm those who have not wronged intentionally."

…yes, she would have said that. She had said that. But in this situation…

No, Rokubungi would not bend. Rules and laws seemed to be sacred and unbendable to him…

Wait… rules…

"-Did you ask Mister Smith--"

That's it! He probably was gullible enough that...

Thinking quickly, she asked, "How much to you know about the HiMEs' rules?"

He frowned pensively. "Nothing, why is it of relevance?"

Excellent, she thought with a mental smirk. This meant he didn't know there was no such thing.

"One of the first rules is that HiMEs have to fight and kill Orphans whenever we see them," she lied semi-smoothly; they had no such obligations. From the corner of her eye, she saw a flash near a utility pole; a bunch of electric cables that had been hampering the Orphan were breaking rapidly. In front of her, Rokubungi seemed thoughtful, as if considering her words. She hammered the last nail, "and I'm not really a police officer, but I am a HiME, so those rules have priority, right?"

Please say yes, please say yes…

"I was not aware of this law," Rokubungi said after a short pause. "The rules about your collar are clear that you need an authorization to use your abilities, and that law, I believe, is sufficient." The seal came back down over the green button, to Natsuki's relief. "You should have informed me of this earlier."

Deciding she had wasted enough time convincing her stupidly rule-loving hopefully-not-partner-for-much-longer, she turned toward the Orphan; it was walking toward a blue-clad figure standing in the middle of the street, apparently intent on crushing whoever it was to a pulp. She cursed people stupid enough to hang around with Orphans about, and set off to do her "job".

"DURHAN!"

-

-------------

-

"I should have stayed away from Tokyo…"

It was funny how being in danger of death seemed to slow everything down to a crawl, Yuuki reflected as he watched the pincer high above him. He could have sworn it had been standing in that pose for whole minutes before the enormous claw started to go down. It was too big to avoid, moved too fast to dodge, and was far too massive to block There was no way, he knew, he could survive this.

So, he closed his eyes…

--shhhhhhhHHHHH!-YANK! "Garg--!"

--and was promptly yanked off his feet by something grabbing him by the uniform collar, something small and cold that definitely had fingers, that was moving very rapidly and, perhaps above all, was cursing in a familiar lilted voice.

"Tanuki! Agh--You're heavy damnit!"

"Kuga!" He gasped, moving to look—

"DON'T MOVE!" She shouted in alarm. Too late, it seemed, as both suddenly found themselves airborne as the little girl lost her balance on whatever she had been riding. Her little hand let go of his collar a few instants before his shoulder hit the rapidly moving ground. He then entered a painful and dizzying series of rolls that left him bruised, scratched and feeling like he had spent the whole morning in the spin dryer.

"That hurt damnit!" came from the girl. He stretched his neck to look at her and saw she had come out of the rolls with nothing more than a headache betrayed by her body language and a tear at the knee of her baggy, tomboyish jeans; the white glow of her Elements' shields flickered and vanished from around her upper arms even as he looked. Her brilliant green eyes turned toward his with a sour frown.

"You eat too much," she said.

"You're the skinny one," he replied while getting up on all four to stand up, wincing as his body protested.

The Orphan, somewhat behind him, was raising its massive pincer from the jagged crater it had left in the pavement, its face looking in their direction. He could tell, though, that he was no longer its focus. Antennas waving, all four mandibles moving in a semi-random pattern, it was obviously looking at the bigger danger: Natsuki and her Ch--

--Holy Sh---

His thoughts were derailed when he saw the wolf-Child again. Hovering a short distance behind the little bluette, it seemed to have lost its feet; the holes there they had been were glowing oddly, as if extremely thin smoke was blowing in front of a light inside them. Its shape had changed lightly, and the more he looked at it, the more it looked like...

...like some kind of freaky heavily armed wolf-styled hoverbike. And even as he looked, its leg-stumps/jet engines spun towards the ground, and the metallic claws popped out. The little girl noticed his boggling and welcomed it with a grin.

"Isn't he cool?" she asked.

"Wh-wh--" Oh great, so now she had a built-in bike, too? Never mind a flying one! Collecting himself, he gave her a flat stare. "Brat, if you tell me it can turn into a giant Mecha, I'll hurt you."

The wolf let out a menacing growl; the girl pacified it with a pat of her hand and a whisper of something he couldn't hear, then turned toward him with a shrug. "Fine, I won't. Behind you."

"Uh?" He looked--

"AH!"

--and quickly dashed out of the Orphan's path a few seconds before it run over where he had been standing. Ignoring him, it continued its dash toward the little girl, who grinned savagely and fired her element-guns.

When the cold blasts splashed harmlessly against the chest of the monster's lobster-like carapace, her grin vanished. With no prompting on her part, the wolf ducked its head between her legs and pushed up; she found herself sitting on the back of its neck between its cannons, with no hint of surprise even touching her face. The Child then avoided the Orphan's attacking pincer with surprising agility; in one jump, it reached and bounced off the small museum, leaving small claw dents in the brick next to a second story window, then landed in the middle of the street behind the Orphan.

"Load Chrome Cartridge-FIRE!" Natsuki shouted, her hands going to her ears a second before her Child fired the High explosive shells. Unfortunately, the Orphan had whirled around fast enough to bring up those damned pincers and---

---BANG!---

...block the shots with a minimum of damage on its part. The little girl made an irritated noise.

"Load Silver Cartridge, FIRE!" she shouted, and her Child obeyed as before. And, like the last time he had seen that blast, the shell divided in thousands of ice shards that struck the pincers...

...and froze them solid. The savage grin returned in the bluette's face. "LOAD CHROME CARTRIDGE!"

Understanding her plan, he grinned... and quickly took cover behind a utility pole, feeling quite useless and in the way.

"FIRE!"

---BOOOM!---

Smoke and wind flew past him around the pole, ruffling his uniform and long hair. A flying rock ricocheted off his makeshift cover with a crack that was frightfully close to his ear, while a large piece of something orange flew a dozen feet to his right, right into the window of the bank beneath the lawyer's office, shattering it with a deafening shower of glass. The Orphan's screech made the rest of the soundscape. Once the worst of it seemed to be over, he quickly looked beyond the pole.

Both of its titanic arms were flailing around, spreading purple ichor from their tips where very white flesh was visible beneath the jaggedly cut hole that had once been deadly weapons. The pincers, weakened by the cold, had been completely blown away. In front of it, the wolf-riding little girl gave a loud whoop of victory.

"Load Silver Cartridge!" she shouted, waited for the ammunition to enter the cannons, then shouted: "Fi--awp?"

Or, at least, she tried to; one of the Orphan's two scorpion-like tails was suddenly flung forward at such blinding speeds that Yuuki was quite surprised Durhan even had the time to jump backward to dodge it, nearly throwing the little girl off its neck. The second tail flew forward and was also narrowly dodged while the first was retracted only to strike forward again like a whip, leaving deep gouges in the pavement as it missed the agile Child and its mistress (who was hanging for dear life on one of its cannons, looking like she wished she was anywhere but where she was).

Green eyes narrowed. The wolf, reacting to an unvoiced command, suddenly leapt sideways toward the Museum, rebounding off the wall once again--

---CRASH!---

--barely in time to avoid the tail that smashed the brick wall into as much rubble, and landing behind it...

Correction. Landing on what had been behind it; in another display of formidable agility for something its size, the Orphan had started to spin around as soon as Durhan had touched the wall, and so when the metal wolf landed, it found itself facing the Orphan's front again. Worse, it had one tail raised and sent it forward before they had even landed. Natsuki stared in horror as she saw the pointed tip heading straight for her chest and found herself taking it directly--

"KUGA!" Yuuki yelled in alarm.

-

-------------

-

The damn thing was fast.

Natsuki had fought her fair share of Orphans in the past, from the extremely weak like yesterday's mutated Koosh Ball to some that would have caused an army to turn and run with their tails between their legs. This one, she decided, didn't score very high in terms of attack strength (breaking walls and tearing through the street? Big deal.), but in terms of annoyance, there were very few Orphans she'd fought that were nearly as irritating as this one.

First, there was its shell; she had tested it with rapid element blasts, and it seemed the rest of it was as solid as the pincers had been, or at least the parts she had tested were; she had tried to get to its back, but the damn thing had moved too fast for her to try.

Which brought her back to the second problem; the damn thing was fast. She was halfway tempted to have Durhan take a silver shot at its legs; the only reason she didn't was because materializing them were a strain on her Child, and she knew she would need as much of his strength as possible to break its shell for the killing blow. She had thought blasting off the pincers would have made it an easy target, but it had recovered its wits too far quickly and started using those damned tails, forcing her to take evasive actions that took her to her current situation; standing directly in front of it, staring at its upraised tail, twitching in a pattern she had been quick to recognize as a signal to attack.

'Move,' she sent to Durhan through the link she shared with him as his HiME.

'Overbalanced,' he sent back in fewer words than basic feelings. 'Worry, protect self'

With a mental curse, she raised her arms and triggered her shields, just in time to block the tail; the bone-jarring impact sent her clearly off Durhan's neck in a low flight that sent her rolling on the pavement (she vaguely noticed her partner shouting her name in alarm). The shield had accomplished its purpose, though, as the skewer-ended tail did not come close to piercing her flesh, and she came out of the rolls without a scratch.

That, however, did not mean she wasn't hurt; while the shield had acted brilliantly to keep danger away from her, it had done nothing to cushion the impact of the tail, and thus when Natsuki tried to push herself up—

…she fell back down on the pavement with a gasp of pain, her shoulders burning from being pretty badly sprained. She felt a sudden surge of alarm from Durhan that made her look up; the extended tail that had struck her had curled tightly around her Child's flanks and was now holding him up about five meters above the ground, even as its many feet pushed its massive body forward toward her, its second tail raised for the kill. Natsuki knew she wouldn't be able to block another shot.

She was done for.

However, it continued to approach even as she came inside what she knew was within its tail's range, only stopping when it was less than four meters from her. Its arm-stumps rose and, for an instant, Natsuki wondered if it wanted to humiliate her by pounding her flat with them, but even as she looked, the stumps in question twitched and bubbled, as if something was pushing behind the faded grey flesh, and—

SPPLRSHHH!

And the pincers regenerated with an explosion of purple ichor that splattered across the ruined street; the furthest drops reached the sidewalks on both sides. Shoulders still screaming, Natsuki could do little more than turn her head away as it splashed against her, staining her hair with its cold, sticky and jelly-like substance. She, therefore, didn't see it raise its pincers for the killing blow, didn't see (though she did feel) Durhan twist futilely in its solid grip…

…didn't see Yuuki throwing another rock at it, bumping against the upraised pincers to fall down on its cat-like ears---

"SKREEEEE!"

Though she certainly heard it screech, and—

"Gawp?"

--felt the newly released Durhan pick her up by the hood of her shirt by its jaws – skrrt went the fabric as it tore – and haul her on his back, speeding away from the Orphan in Hoverbike mode. She settled herself more comfortably on its back, then caught the gist of what had happened from her link (though only vaguely, as basic feelings did very little to transmit complex ideas); something about… a rock?

'The damn thing can take Durhan's blasts without flinching, but it's hurt by a damn rock?' she thought disbelievingly as she and Durhan spun around to face the Orphan again…

Or rather, to face its left flank, as it had turned to target the source of the thrown rock, a certain Kansaijin police officer hiding behind a utility pole, who had apparently just noticed he was about to get squashed flat…

-

-------------

-

'OhShitOhShitOhShit' was the mantra that repeated itself infinitely in Yuuki's mind. Throwing the rock had been a good idea, judging from the lack of Natsuki paté on the pavement. It had, however, visibly pissed the Orphan, who was now getting ready for some good old retribution. Fortunately, he had a utility pole between him and the Orphan...

...the Orphan who then casually reached forward and crushed the offending pole at the base with its pincers before casually tossing it aside as if the massive concrete pole weighed nothing more than a bicycle.

'OhShit,' Yuuki repeated again, bursting into a run. At full pace, he was a little faster than it was, but he knew very well he didn't have the stamina to keep it up for long enough to escape it. He couldn't even pretend to have a chance against it if it caught him.

There was only one way to survive; to hide inside a building and hope the brat recovered fast enough. However, there was only one building between him and the shattered intersection; a sportswear shop. He reached its door easily and put his whole weight into pushing it open; it didn't work. Doing the same while pulling had the same result.

The door was locked shut.

Through the window, he saw the cashier curiously peeping from behind the counter, eyes wide in fear.

"OPEN THE DOOR!" Yuuki screamed, hoping he would hear. To his relief, the cashier had heard; with a few harried nods, he moved around the counter and fished in his pocket for the keys...

...which he dropped in shock the instant he looked up at Yuuki again. The Kansaijin saw the shadow that had fallen over him and slowly turned around, knowing perfectly what he would see there.

The Orphan was right there, pincer raised and ready to crush him to a pulp--

"HEADS UP!"

--Wha--"URK!"

For the second time, the little girl that was his partner came swooping on her bike-Child to yank him off his feet by the collar (strange, her hand felt oddly firmer this time around...). This time, though, she held firm and carried him away from the battle, guiding Durhan toward the roof of the large-scale Sushi restaurant. He was released on the rooftop a few seconds later, although he wished it had been shorter; he was fairly sure the fear of being dangled several meters over the ground by his uniform's thin fabric held by a girl he could probably pick up with one arm had cut a few years from his life. And at the very least, his uniform had served very well to cut off his breathing; he took a few seconds after landing getting his breath back and massaging his neck. When she felt he was fine enough to answer, Natsuki, still sitting on the once more quadruped Durhan, spoke:

"You hurt it. Tell me how."

"I don't know," he replied truthfully. "I think it has something sensitive on top of its head -- maybe those antenna or those ears, I'm not sure..."

"Hn... worth a try," she muttered, "thanks."

And the wolf's legs slunk inwards, transforming it into its Hoverbike mode again, and they flew back toward the Orphan, leaving him alone on the rooftop. Fortunately, he could use the access stairs to go down and--

...wait a sec, hadn't she been a bit far to be holding him? And where had she found the strength to carry him?

A stray gust of wind game him a final clue in the form of an unusual chill on its back. A quick inspection of his uniform's back found large holes near the collar, as if something sharp like a pair of pikes had run through it.

Pikes, or fangs. Like the fangs of a certain metal wolf. Not an inch from his neck. Catching him at high speeds.

That little----! She was out to kill him!

-

-------------

-

It had indeed been the ears, as Natsuki had tested. A single blast from her Elements had proved to be enough to make it screech like a wounded cat and turn her way again, pincers raised protectively. This time, though, Natsuki wasn't about to let it take the offensive and continued to fire at its head, even though its pincers blocked the way; the chill her blasts caused was apparently enough of an incentive to force it on the defense even as she circled around it.

However, while she reveled in finally causing it some pain that didn't involve Durhan's cannons, she could plainly see she wasn't doing anything permanent. She would need to use Durhan after all.

Using the link, she took control of the ever-obedient Durhan, slowed down sharply and turned toward the Orphan. Neither liked to shoot while in hoverbike mode because, without proper grounding, the recoil was hell to recover from. However, she didn't have time to shoot that she was forced to strafe up with enough strength to bump her chin against her Child's metal back; the Orphan had thrown a tail she had barely avoided in time. She found herself once again moving in a circle, firing her guns to keep it distracted while trying to think up a plan.

How had it known she had stopped, though? With those pincers blocking its face, there was no way it could have seen her, and it didn't seem to have any other eyes anywhere else...

--shhhhh--

A momentary lull in the battle brought her the answer; it had to have been following the sound of Durhan's engines! If its ears were excellent, that would explain why they were so sensitive - even Orphans didn't usually have a weakness like that without a good reason.

But then, if it guided itself by its ears, it meant...

...yes, she decided. That would work.

She moved Durhan under the sole remaining street light and grabbed the pole it hung from in passing, using the momentum this gave her to swing her slight weight up on it (wincing at the pain this caused in her sore shoulders). She settled herself shakily on it, wishing it wasn't too big for her to close her small hands around it, or at least that the ground was closer.

"Ooh boy... just think of it like a big tree with just one branch, Natsuki," she muttered to herself while locking her legs around it.

As she has expected (read: hoped), the Orphan continued to face Durhan as he circled around it, pincers raised in defense; its ears were apparently sensitive enough that it didn't want to risk exposing them to her guns, even to check if she was even still on Durhan.

Steadying her balance on the pole with one arm, she pointed the gun in the other at the back of its ears and aimed carefully, grinning. It was going to regret focusing on her Child.

With pinpoint precision, the rapid-fire shots she launched at its ears hit their target and froze both of its ears solid. The screech it gave was like nails forcefully gouging trenches into a blackboard, and in its sudden flinch, one of its tails slammed down into the lawyer's office with enough strength to shatter it completely and cause the walls of the bank below to buckle ominously. It was quick to turn around and protect its weak point against her, however, and started walking toward her, its body tilting unsteadily as it navigated on the ruined street through a haze of pain.

Natsuki grinned. Perfect.

"FIRE!"

BANG! went Durhan's cannons as he finally shot the silver shells it had loaded previously. The ice blast hit the Orphan's backside and froze it solid as she had hoped, but through the overwhelming pain from its frostbitten ears, it didn't seem to notice and continued to approach her.

"Load chrome cartridge!" she ordered, getting a bit nervous. It was almost in range of hitting her with its tails…

'Loading,' she felt from Durhan.

Then she noticed it; a certain twitch in its left tail, the signal she had been dreading. It was about to strike.

'HURRY!' she sent.

'Ready!' Durhan returned.

"FIRE!" she screamed, bringing up her shields as the spiked tail shot forward—

-

-----BOOOOOM-----

-

Pieces of the Orphan's carapace flew from their normal positions as the HE shells rammed through its weakened back, penetrated the weak flesh beneath and exploded from inside. The tail, on its momentum alone, barely missed chopping her leg off as it flew too low, until it reached it maximum length at which point it fell downward forcefully, digging a final crater in the pavement. Its purple ichor-blood covered the street, but even as she looked, it and the Orphan's body itself burst into bright green flames and disintegrated in a smoke of green sparks.

It was dead. She had won.

Natsuki let out a relieved sigh. It slowly turned into a small giggle, which quickly grew to a loud laugh that echoed in the empty, devastated street.

"Oh yeah! Who's the best!" she crooned, bouncing on her precarious perch.

-

Durhan brought her down on an intact piece of pavement in front of the sushi shop around the same time Yuuki walked out of it. He little girl gave her partner a victorious grin.

"Did you see?" She said with childish excitement. "That, mister, is what a HiME can do if she lets loose! Hah! You saw me kick its sorry ass, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," he replied off-handedly. "you did pretty well, once you figured out what to shoot."

The little girl petulantly crossed her arms and huffed. Her Child gave him a ferocious growl, making him back off a bit.

"Kuga-dono," came from the side; it was Rokubungi, walking toward them, with the bluette's remote in his hand with the green button unsealed. "The Orphan has been neutralized, your authorization to have your Child and Element materialized is therefore retracted. You will dematerialize within the next five seconds, or I will use this."

The metal wolf gave another growl and moved protectively in front of Natsuki. Rokubungi frowned.

"If your Child moves any closer, I will activate your collar. You have five seconds to make them vanish. Five, Four..."

Yuuki gave a look at Natsuki, seeing her horrified look and the way she had her hands clenched around her Elements…

"Three,"

...he remembered her saving his life twice during the fight...

"Two,"

…and decided to intervene.

"One---"

"I'll authorize it," he said, interrupting Rokubungi's countdown.

"On what grounds? There are no rules in the Investigation Department's regulations that say when a HiME can use her powers--"

"But it doesn't say anywhere when she can't, right?" Then, quickly just in case there was such a rule, he continued, "Besides, she's my partner."

"That is inaccurate," Rokubungi protested. "Kuga-dono is my partner for the day, and we have proven to be a sufficient enough team to make it permanent."

He gave a surprised glance at the little girl, wondering if she really approved, and the look on her face told him she did not, in any sense of the word, agree with Rokubungi's words.

"Too bad, my partner was... unsatisfactory," Yuuki replied with as much diplomacy as he could; he was sure the words 'was a useless fat ass who really should get himself kicked out of the police force' would be looked down on by someone as protocol-loving as Rokubungi.

"That is unfortunate. Fortunately, your division doesn't require a partner as much as mine, therefore you can continue your functions without one."

Ok. This wasn't working. What---oh wait...

"About your partnership's success, maybe you should try asking her what she thinks?" And there we go. The ball's in your field, brat.

"Hm... I believe so. Kuga-dono, our partnership was efficient, was it not?"

The little girl blinked once, then twice, as if surprised someone was letting her choose what she wanted, before turning to Rokubungi and slowly replying, "If we're... a good team...? Hell, no! You're a boring stick in the mud, you're too uptight, your job is boring and frankly, I'd choose to be partnered to the janitor before I'd pick you. Forget it."

Yuuki snorted while Rokubungi's mouth gaped in absolute shock. The little girl crossed her arms and grinned in satisfaction, as if she'd been waiting for a chance to do that all day.

"So, that's it. I'll take her key back," Yuuki said as he picked the remote control from the older officer's unresisting hands, flipped the seal back on the green button and put it back in his pocket.

"Th-This is most irregular... I... I'll file a complaint..." the aged officer muttered.

"Hmhn," the Kansaijin noised with an uncaring nod. Both partners watched the aged officer shakily board his car, perform a textbook u-turn before rolling away just below the speed limit.

"Um... thanks," Natsuki said after a few seconds of silence. "Why did you help me, though?" Yuuki shrugged.

"Well, first, I need a ride. My 'partner' bailed with mine. Don't ask," he added quickly when she seemed to be about to do exactly that. "Second, do I really need a reason? And third, you saved my life back there."

"Twice!" She reminded him with a cheerful grin.

"I saved you back once--oh, and about that, thanks for almost letting your Child bite my head off back there."

"I did not!" She protested immaturely as they mounted Durhan's back.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Had Durhan's eyes been visible, they would have rolled upward. As it was, Natsuki was fairly sure he had sighed at some point.

-

-------------

-

Haruko hated FreeCell. The main reason for that is that she was awful at it. The other reason is that she only played it when she was utterly bored, and thus by association, she had grown to dislike it. Damn the chief and blocking out dating contact sites from her terminal, anyway. She had never felt desperate enough to use them herself (yet), but there were some major Beefcakes to look at there. She could have used all the extra time she found herself with fishing around for them...

'course, most of them didn't stand a candle-in-a-typhoon of a chance faced with the station's newest recruit. Given the chance, now there was one man whom she'd love to--

--squeak-- "-ost ripped off my shirt!"

--rip off his--eh!

"Did not! I have more control than that!"

--EGADS?

Haruko stared in shock as the aforementioned beefcake and his tart-sized partner stepped in, arguing as they always did. As they headed toward the changing rooms - together, him talking about her ripping off his shirt, itself bearing suspicious large holes near the neck-- and wasn't Princess walking oddly? - Haruko's mind leapt the short distance it had to go to enter the realm of dirty thoughts with practiced ease and a smile at the customs.

"Just put on another shirt and I'll get my mayonnaise."

Mayonnaise: white substance with an odd consistency.

"Yeah, yeah... I have no idea how you can stuff so much of it down your throat, though."

Stuff down the throat.

"Hey, don't knock it 'till you've tried it!"

----!

And the door closed behind them. It opened again a few minutes later to let the two partners leave for their lunch break. A short while later, her friend Eriko passed a hand in front of her face and asked if she was all right. Haruko gave no answer, shell-shocked as she was. One of the other administration bunnies later told her she saw smoke pouring out of the brunette's ears.

-

-------------

-

Shizuru sighed and closed her book, finally giving up. She had spent most of the day trying to focus through the worry she was feeling for her closest friend, but to no avail; she had, at most, read one or two pages, and if someone had asked her what were on those pages, she would have had to divert the question somehow to avoid answering an embarrassing "I do not know".

She looked at the clock. It was nearly five in the afternoon; Natsuki should be back any time, now…

The rumble of a car stopping outside the building made Shizuru smile in relief. Setting the book aside, she stood and went to the front door, then waited. The handle turned, then the door opened, allowing her most precious friend inside.

"Oka-erinasai," she said, barely managing to stop her surprise at the state of Natsuki. Her clothes were dirty, her jeans had a bunch of impressive rips in them, her hoodie had two large holes, like something had bitten it through, and her hair, normally silky-soft and smooth, was a mess. Her body language told of exhaustion, but her lips were smiling as she replied:

"Ah… Tadaima."

"How was your day?" Shizuru asked, although what she had wanted to ask was 'what the hell happened?', which would have been entirely improper. She had expected some long tired tirade about it being the worst day ever, or some off-handed comment about police work being a total drag, but to her surprise, the other HiME shrugged dismissively.

"It could have been worse," she replied, then winced as she pushed some of her hair behind her shoulder. "Urgh, I need a bath."

Shizuru blinked in surprise as Natsuki stepped past her. Hadn't Akitori-san assured her Natsuki would be placed with the worst possible candidate? 'it could have been worse'?

Bath?

"I will join you," she said. Natsuki only shrugged.

-

-------------

-

The next morning, Haruko welcomed them with a variation of what she always seemed to say:

"Captain Kumaji wants to see you two in the briefing room."

"Kuma-jiji? Why?"

"If it's about Roku-what's-his-name, no matter what he wrote in his complaint, we can explain--"

Haruko smiled and interrupted: "It's not about that - the complaint he gave us is currently being treated by the proper authorities at the recycling center. No, he wants to see you because there was a theft; a jewlery near the border with Chiyoda."

The partners shared a troubled glance as it registered.

That's where the attack had happened.

A theft at an Orphan attack, just like that time at the fruit shop.

Could it be…?

-

-

Author's notes:

I swear this chapter wasn't this long on paper, either. I mean, at first, I was worried it wouldn't be long enough! But the battle stretched on an on… I created a pretty tough critter for Natsuki to smack around… Or be smacked around by, as it may be XD

Orphan Destruction Regiment (OrDeR)... to redeem myself, I have three words to say: Generable Enigmatic Matrix (GEM). 'nuff said. (Couldn't they at least have used Energy instead!)

I seriously doubt Neko-mimi mode was a musical success in Japan (if it was, it'll only steel my thesis that the Japanese are certifiably insane, no offense intended), but the idea jumped into my head and wouldn't let go. If you haven't heard it, count yourself lucky; that song gets stuck in your head and stays there for days.

The battle scene was fun to write, if a headache to organize. I hope the Orphan was intimidating enough XD

BTW: the musical notes are respectively Alt+14 and Alt+13 using the numpad. There's lots of signs you can write that way, but strangely, every time I try to make a list for further reference, I can't seem to get past code 245 without causing a monumental crash… Hn.
If you didn't see them, blame Fanfiction(dot)net's Nazi anti-formatting rules.

About that, I sent a pretty complete complaint letter through the bug report. Didn't get an answer yet, my letter is officially "open". Taking bets on whether or not I'll ever get a response... not.

Japanese notes:

(1): Shochou means Chief of Police, which I would have simply ignored in favor of Chief Constable, but it wouldn't have worked with the honorific –dono, itself an archaic, unusual and respectful honorific; it just sounded right ;;

(2): Japanese drive on the left side, so the left lane is the slow one.

(3): 1 can be read Hito, 5 is go, 6 is ro, 4 is shi; Hitogoroshi means murderer. It's a pretty common pun.

(4): Chibi-Tantei means "cute little Detective".

(5): "Nekomimi mode" literally means "Cat ears mode", and is one of the über-cute opening songs of the Loli-scented anime Tsukuyomi Moon Phase.