iClue
Disclaimer: I'm not the monkey person that owns iCarly or Clue. That's another monkey person. I'm just writing here.
Author's Notes: OKKAAYY... Well, time for another chapter of iClue. This is where our story REALLY begins! The other chapters just explained what was going on but now- NOW we finally get to the mystery. I'm going to risk everything and say it. SKLEE!
Chapter 4: iFind Spencer's Dead Boddy
Ya know how morning always seems to come to early? Well, that's the case in these dreams, too. I awaken earlier than when I wanted to because of the stupid sun poking through my windows. The light falls across my face, slowly forcing me from my slumber, and it would have been peaceful had I not been so tired. Sure, I can force myself to go to school and stuff, but every kid does that. Now, waking up is just annoying.
"Gr... stupid sunlight," I mumble into my pillow, before launching it into the window, as if that could solve the problem. Seeing as it didn't, I force myself to regain consciousness before picking up my pillow, which had fallen uselessly to the floor, and grabbing some clothing, praying that the bathroom is still free.
Hallelujah! It's still open!
Claiming it as my own by locking the door, I proceed to go about my daily routine (You don't need to know about THAT!), and exit the bathroom, hair still wet from showering. And guess who I run into. Three guesses.
If you guessed Sam/Scar, you'd be right.
"Watch where you're going, Professor Nub!" Sam/Scar snaps at me. What, you thought we just passed each other? No, I ran into her quite literally. And she's still the same, even if she doesn't know about the world outside my mental world. I think my mind recreated her to be as much as the original as possible. Heh, just what I need. A Sam Puckett on my heels.
"Sorry, Sa-Scar," I stutter, struggling to get her name right. Her annoyed/angry look fades into one of confusion.
"Did you just... almost get my name wrong?" And now she laughs, "Seriously?! It's not that hard a name to remember, 'Professor'!!" She bursts into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Right about now, it's taking all of my self-control not to strangle her just to see what would happen. Then again... if I did that, I'd be dead for real. Yeah, better just bite down that anger. Sam, dream or not, is the scariest demon to haunt my nightmares.
She stops laughing, and looks at me. No anger, no confusion, no amusement, just... I can't even tell what it is! "Well, come on! It's breakfast time, and momma's hungry!" I couldn't help but chuckle at that last part, and we head to the dining room, chatting idly all the way.
Once in the dining room, Mom/White serves us a delicious smelling breakfast. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but I like it! Then again, this is my mind... of course I would like the food!
"So," I begin, as a conversation starter. This silence is kinda creepy, "Has anyone seen our beloved host? I haven't since last night,"
Carly/Peacock continues where I left off, finishing off her drink first, "Yeah, I haven't seen him since he came into my room last night to say 'sweet dreams'. Should we be worried?" Since none of us really know the answer to that (Hey, I just met the guy last night! Spencer or not, there are SOME differences!), we turn to our server. She smiles gently at us all.
"Don't worry," She reassures us, "Mr. Boddy often disappears during the mornings for what can seem like hours at a time. He always turns up eventually," Sam/Scar is about to say something, but instead, another plate of ham is shoved in front of her by our oh so jolly server. Sam/Scar gets into it immediately, just loving the taste of ham. I can tell you that from the way she slowly chews the ham, simply savoring the taste. I take this as a cue to eat my own (Untouched) bacon, before Sam/Scar moves on from her ham craving.
"Hey, how did you guys get here?" Asks Carly, "I was going to call a cab, but I decided to walk instead, and when that got boring, I hitchhiked here," She giggles, as though hitchhiking was a comical joke on iCarly. That's the one thing I could never imagine Carly without: a sense of humor. It just doesn't fit her not to have one, just like it doesn't fit Spencer not to be crazy, and it doesn't fit Sam to not be completely obsessed with various meats: From bacon, to the ham she was devouring now. We're discussing how we got here (My experience with Lewbert being voted strangest), and Sam/Scar is trying to force the meat of the ham down her throat.
"Slow down, Miss Scarlet, or your going to choke your little self!" Howard/Mustard snaps at her. He didn't mean to sound caring (Which he didn't), and probably didn't intend that joke. He had meant to sound condescending, as if he were better than her. A dead SQUIRREL is better than Howard! Though I didn't say this aloud, just nonchalantly consume my delicious breakfast. Made by a maid that looks like my mom.
Okay, this is still beyond weird.
Breakfast went along normally enough: Sam/Scar and Carly/Peacock spent the time comparing ex-boyfriends, to see who was the worst guy chooser. That, I tune out. Howard/Mustard and Gibby/Green are debating the need of male shirts in society (HA! I knew Gibby would always hate shirts!), and Mom/White grumbles something about 'inconsiderate brats', while cleaning up our breakfast. I had mostly only played with my food during the meal: not actually paying attention. It's only when my plate is taken away do I realize that nothing good is coming of me just sitting here, so I get up and follow the lead the others have already taken; leaving the dining room.
It's so easy to forget how big this place is! Like last night, I head to the observatory. No one is in there, so I pick up a piece of paper and once again begin scribbling random notes down. I'm not even sure half the stuff I'm writing is real, but it's a good way to get my emotions out of the way.
And the door opens.
Startled, I turn around, a random umbrella from the room in my hand as though it's a fencing sword. Ah, fencing. The only thing that's not technical stuff that I actually enjoy/am good at. Sure, there's music and stuff, but I prefer the feel of a fencing sword in your hands, the pride after mastering a new move. It just makes me free I guess. Anyhow...
Carly/Peacock is shocked by the fact that my umbrella sword is right next to her face. Then, she bursts into giggles, "What, lost your sword, o knight of sciencey stuff?"
"Don't sneak up on me like that," Was my non-humorous response to her humorous statement. She glances at me softly, though I can't tell if it's from sympathy, or just cause I'm pathetic. Either way, we start talking.
And I realize how strange it is without my friends to talk to. I miss the randomness of even our non-webshow conversations, the craziness of Spencer's cut-ins (Which always seem to be at the best available time), the wackiness of dealing with our messed-up neighbors... it just didn't feel right without the constant insanity that is the life of the iCarly trio...
"...Professor? PROFESSOR!" Oh, when did I tune Carly/Peacock out? It didn't seem like we were talking that long, "Did you hear me?"
"Uh, no," I reply honestly, chuckling lamely so she'd know it was a mistake, "Could you repeat that, please?" She sighs in annoyance.
"I ASKED if you could get my coat from the front hall. Please?" She smiles sweetly, and even Sam couldn't say no to that face. Because after that pitiful little child act, she's swelling up with real tears, ready to cry and make me seem like the bad guy. This happened sometimes when we were little, but the worst that ever happened was a stern talking to. No biggie.
"Be right back," I promise to her, and head out to the front hall. It's not a long commute, just that no one else is here. Not sure where, but they're not here.
And I open the door. My jaw falls in shock, and I might have screamed, but I can't be sure. In the center of the room lay Spencer/Boddy. He had plenty of swollenness all around his head, his chest had been stabbed multiple times, and he looks positively pale. I can hear the others behind me, and all at once the room became wild and panicked. A simple whistle was all it took to calm them down, though.
"Thank you, Miss Scarlet," Sam/Scar rolls her eyes and walking away, and Mom/White steps up to the platform. She sends Gibby/Green and Carly/Peacock to send a message, though no one will get it in time for the party (She's still throwing that?), and the rest of us stay here to tend to the body while Sam/Scar gets the medical stuff. It's hopeless though; he's already long dead. As the assignment ends, and Spencer/Boddy is returned to his room, the only one of us who can say anything is the one person who shouldn't say anything: Gibby.
"Well, at least we know where he was all morning now, right?"
Oh, Gibby... I pity you. The hardest parts were the filler dialogue. Dialogue in general has never been my strong point. But I'm getting better!
Do a poor dead Spencer/Boddy a favor and review. At the very least, tell me how corny the chapter title was!
