Handcuffs...FAIL!
Renji was walking down the hallway to go get Chimpette to go on a mission. He opened the door to the room and his jaw fell to the floor at what he saw:
Senbonzakura was laying down with his wrists and ankles handcuffed to the bed and Chimpette's ankles were handcuffed to his while her wrists were handcuffed behind her back. She was sitting up almost straddling Senbonzakura's hips and groin.
Renji folded his arms and looked at Chimpette, "Do I even have to ask what the hell happened here?"
She looked at him, "The last thing I remember was being at the club. We were drinking with Rangiku and Haineko then passed out. When I woke up, I was handcuffed to him and he was handcuffed to the bed. I swear we did not do anything."
"What makes you think I am going to believe that?"
Chimpette pointed across the room from behind her back.
Renji looked where she pointed and tilted his head.
Rangiku and Haineko were passed out on the floor with about ten sake bottles piled around them. Rangiku muttered about Captain Hitsugaya and Haineko muttered about Hyourinmaru. They were both drunk and blushing. Everyone could see the resemblance between them. They were both the same.
Renji sighed then looked at Chimpette, "Alright. I believe you. Where is the key?"
Chimpette looked at Senbonzakura, "I have no idea. Do you know where it is?"
Senbonzakura looked at Renji, "Rangiku put it on the chain that Chimpette wears all of the time."
Chimpette looked at him, "It was on the chain around my hips? Why didn't you say something earlier?"
"I didn't think about it."
"Yeah right. I think you just like the feeling that my body is ontop of yours and you can't touch me with your hands," Chimpette said, her cocky smirk on her face.
"Get over yourself. Why would I want to touch you?"
"Because I have a killer body and you have been looking at my cleavage for the last two and a half hours."
Senbonzakura grumbled, "I-I have been doing n-no such thing."
"Then why are you stuttering pretty boy?"
"Will you STOP calling me pretty boy? I have not been staring at your cleavage," he lied.
"You are lying through your mask."
"Give me one reason why I would be staring at your cleavage."
"Because my breasts are just about the most noticeable thing about me."
"That is true."
"So you admit you were staring at my breasts."
"I did not say that!"
Chimpette smirked, "No, but you were thinking it."
Renji yelled, "Will you both just SHUT UP?!"
The two looked at Renji.
He picked up the key then uncuffed them, "Why the hell do you two constantly get into these situations?"
Chimpette shrugged, "You think we plan to end up together in these situations? No. It just happens."
"Then why don't you two try staying apart for a while."
Senbonzakura looked at him, "That will be quite difficult."
Chimpette looked at him and cocked an eyebrow, "And why do you say that?"
"1) Because Snakey is in the World of the Living, 2) you would get depressed if you sit around worrying about him, and 3) I'm your source of entertainment, at least, that is what you told me."
Chimpette scratched her head and laughed nervously, "You got me there."
Renji walked out the door not bothering saying anything to the two. They watched him leave.
"He has issues."
"So do you."
"What is that supposed to mean pretty boy?"
"You are his zanpakuto."
"So?"
"You have more issues than anyone could count."
"Why you!"
XD
A/N: Are these two funny or what? I swear. They are the easiest two in the Bleach anime to write about. It all gets funnier. Trust me. R&R.
