Chapter 42

Wednesday

10:26 AM

Booth found her just where he knew he'd find her. Angela had been right, they were more alike than even he had realized. To the outside world, they appeared to be polar opposites. He was driven by his emotions. He believed in monogamy and true love and following your gut. She, on the other hand, was driven by science. She believed in biological needs and hard evidence. But they were both the same. They both believed in hard work and justice and truth. That's how Booth knew exactly where she would be. It was because he had gone to the same exact place when he felt hurt and lost.

Booth climbed the steps to the Lincoln Memorial. He could see the great president sitting on his throne through the pillars and the tourists walking up and down the steps, taking snapshots of the impressive memorial. He scanned the busy steps. He looked back and forth, studying every face, but she wasn't among the crowd. He started to think that he had been wrong. Maybe they weren't as alike as he thought.

He was about to give up when he saw her. She was sitting off the right side so that she was out of the way of the people and tour groups who were marching up and down the steps, gaping at the stone memorial. When he saw her, he was suddenly afraid. He had gone off to find her for one reason and one reason only. He was going to tell her how he felt. He thought about how he was going to tell her on his drive over in the car, but seeing her made all of his fears return. Seeing her made him ashamed that he had hurt her even when he had promised that he wouldn't.

As he got closer to her, Booth saw a tear roll down her cheek. He felt a tug at his heart. Not wanting to scare her, he was about to say her name when she turned and looked at him. Her soft eyes grew hard. Her tear was immediately wiped away. She stood up quickly, struggling to stay on her feet. Booth reached out for her, wanting to support her, but she took a step away from him.

"Bones..."

"How did you find me?"

"I...I just knew you would come here."

"Did Angela tell you?"

"No."

"Then how did you find me?"

"I just knew."

"You couldn't know something like that."

"Yes I did. I knew because I know you and I know us."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"This is where I came when I felt hurt. This is where I came when I thought I lost you…when I felt lost inside, Bones. This is where I came because it helped me clear my head. I knew you'd come to the same spot."

She wouldn't look at him. Looking at him hurt too much.

"I don't want to talk to you," she said.

"Bones, please..." He put his hand on her shoulder, but she brushed him off. She began descending the steps slowly. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"I'm fine," she insisted as she continued to walk down.

"I know. You're always fine. But, please..."

She stopped walking and turned to face him.

"What do you want, Booth? You made it very clear that you didn't want to be partners so what do you want?"

"Give me five minutes. That's all I ask. Please."

She thought about it. Angela said that she had to give him a chance. She wasn't sure exactly what that meant, but she was going to try. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Five minutes," Brennan agreed.

Booth took a deep breath. How could he say all that he wanted to say in only five minutes? He decided to just lay everything out.

"The moment I found out that you were missing, my heart broke. I've never felt such immense fear or pain. And then I was sent the photographs and…I knew they were you. No one would believe me that Collin Brown had you, but I knew. I knew all of the awful things he was doing to you." He paused. "Then I saw the video and my worst fears came true. I thought…I thought that was it. I thought I'd never be able to find you. I thought I had lost you. And even after we figured out where you were being held…when…when we got to that mall and I saw you…I…I failed, Bones. I failed."

"I don't understand."

"I didn't save you."

Brennan shook her head. "But you did. You didn't fail. You found me. You saved me."

"Not before he…he touched you." He wiped away a tear on his cheek. He hadn't realized that he had started crying. "Not before he hurt you. I failed because he got to you. I failed because I let him take you and I let him hurt you and…"

"Booth…"

"That's why, Bones…that's why we can't work together. I can't lose you. I can't see you hurt anymore. I can't be the reason you're hurt." He put emphasis on the word can't. He needed to make her believe that what he was saying was true. "There have been too many times, Bones. Too many times where I thought I lost you. When I watched the clock tick down to zero when the gravedigger had you, when Kenton blew up your refrigerator and tried to feed you to dogs...I can't do that again. I can't go through that pain…I won't survive if I lost you. That means we can't work together anymore, Bones. Because even though I love every minute of it, even though the best parts of my day are when I'm with you, I can't hurt you anymore."

She processed what he said. She tried to think about it logically, but there was nothing logical about it. She knew that losing someone could not cause someone to lose their life, but somehow she understood. It wasn't logical, but she knew that she wouldn't survive if she lost him.

"I understand that you don't want to lose me, but I would never ask you to give up something you love just because I was afraid."

He shook his head, confused. "What do you mean?"

"You're so afraid that I'll get hurt that you're asking me to give up what I love to do. Booth, I love going out in the field with you. I love not being in the lab all the time. You're asking me to give that up."

"I'm asking you to be safe. I'm not asking you to give up your work, Bones. Go back to doing what you fell in love with. Go back to identifying ancient remains."

"That's not what I want. That's not what I love anymore!"

"I am trying to protect you!"

"I don't need your protection!" She had to stop and take a breath, calming herself. They had had their fair share of arguments, but this was a big one. "You say you don't want to work together because you don't want to put me in danger, but what about you? How many times have I come close to losing you? When Pam Nunan pulled that trigger and they told me you were dead…I…I felt that same pain you felt when you found out I was missing."

"It's different."

"How?"

"Because our emotions are different, Bones. You…you compartmentalize everything. You can work through anything. I can't."

"Is that what you think about me?"

"Tell me it isn't true. Tell me you wouldn't have gone right on working if I had really been killed. Damn it, Bones, you didn't even cry at my funeral!" He had never told her how upset he was to see her so calm, cool, and collected at his funeral. To him, it meant she didn't have the feelings for him that he had for her.

"You're right, I didn't! I didn't cry! But do you know why?"

"Because you don't belief grief is a tangible, necessary feeling."

"Because I didn't have any tears left!"

"What?"

"I spent every night crying over you! Yes, I went to work and I functioned and I did what I needed to do, but I spent every night crying! I spent every night alone in tears thinking I would never see you again! So don't you for a minute think I didn't care! Don't you dare think that it was easy for me! Because it wasn't easy! It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do! I've never hurt as much as I hurt that day!"

Booth saw the emotional pain on her face and he knew that she was telling the truth. She did care.

"Oh Bones, I'm…I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was angry, Booth. I was angry at you for not telling me that you were alive. I was angry at myself for falling apart. And it was easier to pretend that I was the unemotional one because that's why everyone expected of me."

"I'm sorry."

Neither of them said anything. They were both trying to process everything that had been revealed.

"I don't want to do anything else," Brennan whispered. "I don't want to do anything else except be your partner. I'm willing to accept the risks. Please be willing to accept them with me."

"I don't ever want to see you hurt."

"And I never want to see you hurt. But we accept the risks…together."

Booth wanted to protect her with everything he had. He wanted to keep her away from harm. But, as he looked into her eyes, he knew what he had to do. He wanted to work with her as much as she wanted to work with him. He couldn't just let her go.

"I don't want to work with anybody else, Bones. Nobody but you."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him close. He looped his arm around her waist and held her. They were both silent as they clung to each other. They both knew that they had brought their relationship to a different level and it had nothing to do with physical advances. He was finally ready to open up.

"Bones, I…"

She unattached herself from him and looked into his eyes.

"Wait. I need to say something."

"Bones…" He needed to tell her.

"Please." He would never be able to deny her anything so he nodded, allowing her to continue. "I'm not like you, Booth. I don't understand emotions most of the time. Since I lost my parents, I never let anybody else in. I never allowed myself to become emotionally involved with someone nor did I allow anyone to become emotionally involved with me. But Angela told me that you know you're in love when the first thing you think of in the morning is that person and when you want to talk to that person whether you've had a good day or a bad day and you want that person beside you at all times." She took a deep breath. "If that's why love is then I…I love you, Booth."

Brennan held her breath, waiting for him to respond. He didn't move. He couldn't think. His mouth was slightly open in awe. Those three words traveled through his mind over and over again. Brennan blinked, trying to blink away tears. She had opened herself to him again and he wasn't reciprocating.

"Angela says that after somebody admits something like that, the appropriate response would be…"

"I can't believe you said it first."

Brennan blinked rapidly, not sure what he meant. She had never told anyone before that she loved them, but she was pretty sure that what happened was not what was supposed to happen.

"I…I realize that love is an emotional response to a physical need and so maybe I misread what you were feeling and maybe I…" She wasn't making sense. She was rambling, which wasn't something she was used to. She only ever rambled about evidence and scientific facts, but never about her emotions. She didn't know what she was saying.

Booth put his finger over her lips and she stopped talking.

"I love you, Bones," he stated.

"Wh…what?"

"I said I love you. I've loved you since the moment I met you."

"That's not possible. To love someone, you have to get to know them and there is no way you could have…"

"I thought you didn't know anything about love, Bones," he teased.

"Well, I don't, but…"

"Bones?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

Brennan connected her lips with his before he could even finish his sentence. She kissed him with passion and hunger and, for the first time in her life, love. She looped her arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the base of his neck. Booth had one hand wrapped around her waist and the other buried in her hair. They held each other like both their lives depended on it.

"Get a room," somebody grumbled as he passed by them on the steps.

Booth and Brennan pulled apart, but Booth refused to completely let go of her. He kept one hand at her waist. It felt so natural being with her in that way. He didn't feel worried or scared anymore. It felt right. He had a huge smile on his face.

"Why are you smiling?" She asked.

"Because I'm happy. And because you have no idea what that guy meant, do you, Bones?" Booth asked.

"No."

He laughed. "Didn't think so."

"Do you think they'll still let us work together?" Brennan asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Now that we're involved. Will the FBI still let us be partners?"

Booth shrugged. "Nothing is going to stop us from being partners, Bones."

"You can't know that."

"Yes I can."

"How?"

"Because I love you."

This time she smiled. "That's not a good reason, Booth."

"It is for me. Besides, Bones, they won't separate us because we're too successful. We've got the best percentage of cases solved the FBI had ever seen. We're like their golden couple."

"We do work every well together."

"Yes, we do. And now that we are officially a couple, we'll work even better together."

"Oh? How do you know that?"

"Because I love you."

She giggled and Booth couldn't help but laugh. He had made Dr. Temperance Brennan giggle. He had never heard a more amazing sound.

"I know that, Booth," Brennan said. "You already said that."

"Well, I spent years not saying it so I'm making up for lost time."

She leaned up to kiss him again. It was as if she couldn't get enough of him. She had never felt that way towards any of the other men she had been in relationships with.

"Booth?"

"Yes, Bones?"

"Does what that man said have anything to do with sexual intercourse?"

Booth couldn't help but smile again. "Yes, Bones, it does."

"I would very much like to have intercourse with you, Booth."

He couldn't help but blush. "I've never had anyone say it quite like that before."

"Is it unacceptable to admit that to someone?"

"No. It's just…not usually how it goes."

"How does it usually go?"

"Usually it starts with dinner or a movie or something. But this works too."

"Booth?"

"Yes?"

"I…I am very interested in sex with you, but…I…I don't think I'm ready for…"

Booth silenced her with a small kiss. He put his hand on her cheek. "We can take as much time as you need, Bones. Trust me, I'm very good at waiting. I've been doing it for years." He kissed her again.

"I love you," she said.

He laughed. "I know Bones. You already said that."

"Well, a wise man once told me that after spending years of not saying it, I have to make up for lost time."

"He is a very wise man."

"I would very much like to go to dinner or a movie."

He smiled. "As you wish…my girl," he said as he kissed her forehead. He took her by the hand and they walked down the steps together.

Author's Note: I hope this chapter didn't disappoint! I know a lot of people assumed they'd meet up at the diner, but I couldn't help but put my own little spin on the location of them pouring their guts out to each other. There's still one more chapter to go because I just can't say goodbye to this story just yet. Thanks for reading!