Responses (these are gonna be fast, because I'm a bit low on time):

MysteryShadow101: thank you so much! And yes, the joke is kind of funny, even though I don't like my uncle very much. Random fact: I speak Spanish! Gracias, y lea este. Espero que le gustes.

Olioli80: as usual your reviews leave me smiling. That is an AWESOME DREAM!!!! I wish I dreamt about Draco Malfoy the Sex God. Fuck, that would be amazing. Thanks for reviewing and see you in a week.

HPGW4eva: I liked Draco beating Harry too. I mean, I kind of wanted Harry to win, simply because he always wins. I made it clear that, had Draco not interfered, he would have. But that's not how I wanted the chapter to go. Anywho, can't wait til you start your new story. Read on!

RG: Thanks, I appreciate it. That's pretty funny, that no one knows your such an avid fanfictioner. All of my friends know, but Ihaven't very many of them, so it's not a big deal. Random fact: I am taller than my sister, even though she's 5 years older. Thanks a million and enjoy this chappie.

Akilah55: I don't agree with your outlook on the graphic stuff, but I respect it, so in this chapter (since it does get a bit crazy) I've put in notices of when it starts and ends just for you. See what I do for my reviewers? 3. As for a random fact, I actually used to hater HP! Everyone else liked it when I was little, so I immediately thought it was stupid. The of course the 1st movie came out...after that I was hooked...anywho, enjoy the update!

Kristina: I'm not exactly sure what possessed me to do it, but I guess it was that I was about to give up for the day and then I got your review and it spurred me to keep going. See, it wasn't just, 'i love your fic, update!' but you told me about how you wanted to cry even though your family was in the room, and it was just really sweet, so...um...yeah. And I totally agree with you about Draco! How about, we would ravish each other? Yeah, that works (though secretly I'd be happier if he just ravished me and I could go along for the ride, but that's beside the point). Random fact: I've only ever been to 1 concert, and that was for Regina Spektor. Have you heard of her? If not, go on youtube or iTunes and CHECK HER OUT! She's incredible. Alright, read on...

Now get ready for some Draco angst coming your way...

Chapter 19: Chivalry is not dead

What's she doing here?

"Draco, are you ok?"

"Peachy," he said maliciously, turning away from her.

"Look, what Ron said was completely out of line. It was insensitive and outrageous and ridiculous for him to get so bent out of shape for nothing." He remained silent, leaning against the stone rail, trying to contain his anger. "You shouldn't be upset about it." She began to walk toward him from across the tower. "Believe me, Ron can be a jerk. I know—"

He whirled around as her hand came to rest on his shoulder in a comforting manner. But it did nothing to console Draco, only make him more enraged. "You know? YOU KNOW? Don't pretend you know anything, Granger—anything. You don't know me. You think you do, but you don't."

Hermione had stepped back from him at his outburst, but her eyes softened somewhat when she said, "but I want to."

"No, you don't" he grumbled, turning again to face the edge of the tower. She shouldn't be here. She shouldn't see him like this. Hell, she shouldn't see him at all. He was dangerous. Whether or not he had wanted to be, Draco was a murderer.

Weasley had hit a serious nerve back there. His words had poked a hole in the thin barrier in his mind that kept those memories at bay, and now they were rampaging through his head with tripled force, as if in vengeance of being contained.

He could hear one young girl's screams, see his friends writhing on the floor in agony, men in chains, blood dripping from their noses, eyes filled with dread and resignation before they went cold and dark altogether.

Images flashed across the backs of the eyelids that Draco was scrunching together, hoping to block them out.

A muggle family of 5, dead on the floor of their living room, the dinner table set for the meal they would never have in the next room. The countless Dark Marks hovering over what seemed like a thousand different houses in front of a thousand different skies, but they all meant the same thing. His Aunt Bellatrix laughing maniacally as she pointed her wand at a screaming teenager…a young woman with frizzy brown hair.

"AGHHHHHHHHH" Draco was trying to keep from crying. He clutched the stone tighter, scraping his palms and fingertips. His entire body was tense with the force of the memories barraging his mind.

And then he felt it again, that warm hand on his shoulder. As if from a distance, her voice came to his ears. "Draco? Draco, what's wrong?"

Draco wanted more than anything to melt back into that embrace, to let lose the pent up sorrow and anger and self-hatred that had festered and grown inside him over the past year and a half.

But he couldn't. Because it was Hermione. Hermione was the one writhing on the floor of his sitting room, screaming so loudly her voice had begun to go hoarse. It was Hermione, agony written plainly across her face, who refused to say anything that would betray her friends, even if it would alleviate her pain. And Draco? Draco just sat in an armchair and watched as his Aunt tortured this girl, this girl who was now no longer screaming on the ground, but standing in front of him with worry in her eyes as he faced her.

He hadn't protected her then. He had to protect her now.

"Go."

"Draco, don't be ridiculous. There's obviously something up with you. Why won't you just—"

"I said get out of here." When she didn't move, Draco pulled his wand from his pocket and pointed it at the witch he cared for more than he knew how to express.

She merely cocked an eyebrow at his wand and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Please, Granger, don't do this." His voice broke.

"Do what?"

"This—this helping me thing! You shouldn't be here. I have to—to protect you."

Hermione snorted and spoke defiantly. "Protect me from what exactly?"

Draco could not explain it to her, she would never understand. So he pulled his anger back out from the temporary recesses of his mind.

Draco pulled back his wand, and thought Stupefy!

But the spell shot not at Hermione, but across her left shoulder. A piece of stone was blasted by the spell and crumbled next to the tower door. It was a threat, and it worked. She jumped, sufficiently shocked.

"Go," he demanded.

And she did. But not before giving him a hard, piercing gaze as she closed the door.

And when it finally clicked shut, all of Draco's energy leaked out. He slid to the floor, too exhausted to stand. The emotional drain of the day's events had him struggling to breathe normally.

And still, even in his tired state, the images would not go away. They never left. All those horrible months. He had been so scared, so confused, in so much pain, both mental and physical. It had seemed to stretch on and on, with no hope of reprieve. He had had to play the part so he didn't get killed, so his parents didn't get killed. But playing the part included losing part of himself along the way. Torture and death—nothing but torture and death—he had cast the Crutiatus Curse more times than he could count. The flash of green light coming from his own wand threatened to make him sick every time. But he'd done it, because he needed to survive. In a time like that, all anyone could do was survive.

Slowly regaining his strength, Draco stood. The anger was gone now, as was the exhaustion...mostly. Instead, they were replaced with frustration—frustration over being unable to banish these memories from his mind, frustration over not controlling his emotions, frustration over pushing Hermione away...

Draco needed to clear his head. He had to reconstruct the turmoil that was presently his mind.

He picked up his broom and flew off over the trees of the Forbidden Forest, into the early evening dusk.

0000000000000000

As Hermione walked back through the castle, she played the scene over in her head. What had it all meant? Draco had been so angry and hurt and torn and she couldn't figure out why. I mean, Ron was being an arse, yeah, but why did it make Draco go so completely nuts?

He hadn't said much, so even with Hermione's incredible brain power, she had little to go on. But he had said something interesting...

'I have to—to protect you'

Protect her from what? Voldemort was gone, the war was over, she wasn't under any threats anymore...right? Right she said to herself. So who was she being protected from?

From himself? A small voice in the back of her head spoke quietly. But that doesn't make any sense. Why would I need to be protected from him? Why should I be afraid of him? And yet, somehow, Hermione had a gut instinct that that was what had just happened. Not that it made sense to her, and she rarely listened to her gut, but at the moment it was the only thing that fit.

Hermione finally arrived at the statue of the dragon, which eyed her as she muttered the password—"Pumpkin Juice"—while still deep in thought.

Plopping down in an armchair, Hermione wondered what had brought on this sudden self-betrayal for Draco. It had obviously been something that Ron had said, but what? Why? This was what stumped her. So Ron yelled at him and said a bunch of stupid, idiotic jibes and insults. So what? Why would it get Draco in such a rage? Why would he suddenly feel the need to keep away from people—from her?

Hermione sighed, rubbing her temples, and decided she needed a hot shower...or a bath...yes a bath would be just the thing to help her relax.

000000000000

About an hour and a half later, once evening had really started to set in, Hermione stepped into the Gryffindor common room. Unable to focus on her schoolwork, she had decided to seek out her friends and try to forget about the whole thing. That might not work especially well, seeing as Ron had been the attacker and Harry the referee, but it was worth a shot.

There were still signs of the party that had occurred only a short while ago, but obviously the Gryffindors were too upset about losing to really do much partying. The common room wasn't especially crowded.

She spotted Ron in an armchair near the fire and went to join him. Surprisingly enough, he looked just as confused as she felt. Why on earth would Ron be confused about anything? Actually, that was ridiculous, he was always confused...but this was different.

Folding her legs underneath her as she sat on the couch next to him, Hermione asked quietly, "hey, what's up?"

Ron started, but only looked at her for a brief moment before going back to staring at the carpet. "I'm such an idiot."

Hermione grinned. "We already knew that, Ronald. So what did you do this time?" she joked. But he didn't seem to find this funny, simply lowered his head even more.

"What, is this about earlier? Because you know I've forgiven you about that." Though I doubt Draco will, whatever's wrong with him.

"No, no, it's not that."

Hermione sighed, annoyed with the way he was beating around the bush. "Ok, is it about schoolwork? Did you get a T on some essay? Have you gotten a month's worth of detentions?" She really had no idea. "What, did you make a move on Rachel and she told you that you were a bad kisser?" Hermione laughed at that, but Ron was actually scowling.

"It didn't happen like that!" he exclaimed.

Hermione's laughter stopped abruptly. So it had been about Rachel. Merlin, Hermione, how tactless can you get?

Hermione said nothing, simply urged him on with her eyes. He finally relented.

"So I went and found her after the consoling party kind of failed. She started yelling at me almost the moment I came near her. I mean, Rachel's no fan of Malfoy, but he's never directly hurt her, and so she was just generally pretty pissed at me. Seems like everyone's pissed at me." He sighed, running a hand through his bright red hair. "Anyway, I kind of wanted to shut her up, and she looked really pretty when she was in a rage." Ron's ears turned red as he said, "so I just kind of grabbed her and kissed her."

Hermione bit her tongue so she wouldn't laugh out loud. Besides the fact that it reminded her strangely of her and Draco's first kiss, go figure that Ron of all people would do something like that to a girl. What is that? I mean, really, do girls just suddenly look incredibly hot when they're yelling at guys? Or is it just some automatic mechanism for them to get us to stop being angry? I mean, it works, but still, the theory behind it is a bit ridiculous. Again, Hermione had to stop herself from snorting.

Leaning back into the red couch, Hermione battled the grin on her face, before finally giving into it and saying, "she didn't tell you you were a bad kisser, did she?"

Ron looked up indignantly. "Of course not!"

"Of course not what?"

Ginny had appeared behind Hermione in the middle of the conversation. As Ginny skipped around the couch to sit on Hermione's right. "Oh, Ron was just about to tell me about his...ahem...'close encounter' with a Ravenclaw friend of his."

Ginny grinned. "What, did you finally ask Rachel out?"

Ron stared at Ginny. "How did you...I never...have you been..."

Ginny simply giggled. "I'm not an idiot, you know. I see the big mooning eyes you make at her all the time. Besides, I'm a girl. Girls know these things." She winked at Hermione, who smiled.

"Fine, but I'm not going any further now that you're here."

"Why not, Ron!" Hermione said. "She's your sister, after all."

"Yeah, exactly, she's my sister, and a foul little traitor of one too. I swear, if she ever gets wind of anything juicy on me, it ends up as the day's gossip."

Ginny had the grace to look sheepish. "Aw, come on Gin, don't do this to him. I mean, I get it, but just this once, don't go telling everyone about this, ok?"

Ginny harrumphed, folding her arms over her chest, but relented, putting her feet on the coffee table and getting ready to listen to Ron's story. "So what's I miss?"

Ron sighed, but Hermione cut in before he was forced to tell the story again. "Ron went to talk to Rachel, she started yelling at him, he kissed her to shut her up."

Ginny laughed out loud. "Why do guys always do that?"

Hermione's eyebrows shot up and she grinned. "I know, right? It's like, are we somehow exponentially more attractive when we're angry?" Both girls turned to Ron as if expecting him to have the answers.

"Er, well, I guess sometimes, yeah"

Hermione giggled. "Alright, go on. So you two were snogging. Then what?"

"Erm...well, after a while of that we stopped and she looked like she regretted it, and so I asked. Basically, she doesn't want to go there yet. She said she had some things she had to sort out first before she could get into a relationship."

"But she wouldn't say what?" Ginny said quietly.

"No."

"So what're you gonna do?"

He sighed, but then straightened. "Nothing, just like she asked. I'm gonna let her figure her own issues out by herself, and when she's ready, I'll still be here."

"But, Ronald, that's almost chivalrous...and smart!" Ginny looked scandalized.

"Yeah, Gin, it does happen on occasion, actually." Hermione laughed.

"So, er, Gin, where's Harry?"

"Oh, I think he's in the library finishing up that Transfiguration essay."

He coughed awkwardly, then rose. "I think I'll go find him and help him out with that."

As he walked away, Hermione whispered to Ginny, "more like talk to him about Rachel and some new snogging techniques."

They giggled loudly, but no one else looked up. The common room was normally full of giggling girls.

Hermione spent most of the evening with Ginny. They went down to dinner minutes later, and then, wanting some privacy, returned to the Head common room. Hermione was surprised to find that Draco still wasn't back, or at least he wasn't in the common room.

However she was even more surprised to find out Ginny's take on the day's events. She was in fact ambivalent in many respects. She agreed with Ron in that Malfoy had been a Death Eater and had possibly cheated, but she also recognized that the boy hadn't been half as nasty or spiteful as in the past, and the fact that he had chosen the passive way out that afternoon, instead of deuling Ron, showed her something.

It was at that point that Hermione wanted more than anything to reveal to Ginny everything that had been going on between her and the Slytherin. But as strong as the impulse was, Hermione held back, because just then she wasn't on very stable ground with Draco, and didn't even know at the moment where they stood. Finally, Hermione decided to wait until Draco's breakdown blew over before revealing anything to her best friend.

Almost immediately after that conversation moved on to another, Draco walked in. Both girls' heads snapped up and Hermione took in his appearance. He was still wearing his Quidditch robes. His hair was messy and ruffled and he was holding his broom slack in his left hand. His stance, though tired, also seemed healthier. He was no longer stiff or on edge, and a glance at his facial expression no longer showed anger and hurt, just exhaustion and some confusion.

As he stepped into the room, he made to speak, then snapped his mouth shut and started again. "I'll go upstairs then."

Hermione gave Ginny a meaningful look, and said "wait, it's ok, Ginny should probably go soon anyway."

She jumped up off the couch, the ambivalence plain in her face as she eyed Draco. "Yeah, it's gotten pretty late. I'll see you in the morning, 'Mione." And with that the redhead left the two together.

0

Draco was no longer mentally a mess. The flight over the forest had certainly helped to calm his nerves, and the memories were finally locked once again in the back of his head. But he was still a bit fragile. Anything might set Draco off again, and then he would have to go through it all again...

Draco wasn't sure what to do. He stood in the center of the room as Hermione changed positions to kneel on the couch, facing him. As the dim firelight framed her, Draco felt a tug somewhere inside of him.

He shook his head slightly, remembering what he had decided before. He couldn't let her get hurt again.

But before Draco could force his legs to move, she had spoken.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," he murmured. What was she doing? Why was she being nice to him? Hadn't he just pushed her away?

"I see you went for a ride."

Draco's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"I mean, you look like you've just been flying for a while. That's where you went, isn't it?"

"Oh, er, yeah."

0

Hermione got up from the couch and walked around it toward them. She didn't come too close, not wanting to invade his space, but ended up near enough to vaguely be able to feel the warmth of his presence.

Hugging her midsection to keep from reaching out to him, Hermione looked up into his stormy grey eyes and breathed deeply. "I'm here, you know."

Draco said nothing, simply cocked one eyebrow at her, but she noticed his hand stiffening on his broom. She was going to do the smart, chivalrous thing here. "Look, I get that something's up with you, and that for some reason you feel you need to push me away, because you are somehow not safe to be around."

He began to stumble over his words. "How did...you weren't...I—"

She cut him off. "Call it a mixture of logic and instinct. The point is that I may not get why you suddenly feel this way, but you can talk to me about it if you want. You don't have to, though. These are your problems and I have no right to intrude upon them, but if you need me, I'm here."

For a moment he looked surprised and almost relieved, but then his eyes clouded over again, and she recognized that, for some inexplicable reason, he was angry again.

"You don't get it Granger, that's just the thing! You can't be there. You just can't! And I can't come to you at all, because you would never, ever understand—"

But Hermione had finally had enough of his angst. She pulled a leaf out of the guy's handbook.

Stepping forward, she roughly took his face in her hands and pulled him down so their lips met.

(A/N: if you don't want graphic scroll down now. Look for the bold as a sign that it's over)

It certainly did the trick. How could he be angry with her when she was kissing him so deliciously? How could he have ever imagined pushing her away when all he wanted to do was pull her as close as their bodies could be.

Hermione could feel him loosening, but was surprised when he simply forced his tongue into her mouth without further ado. It seemed he was venting all the day's frustration into her. Draco began to turn them and step forward. With every pace he took, she took one backward until her back met the wall next to the stairwell and he crushed their bodies together. He was taking control of the situation and that turned Hermione on even more. She moaned into his mouth when he pushed against her harder and all thought flew out the door. Before she knew what she was doing, her leg had lifted seemingly of its own accord to latch onto his hip.

Draco's groan reverberated in her chest and he immediately pulled away from her mouth only to begin peppering kisses down her neck. He suckled her collar bone, causing her to shiver. As his deft finger reached for the buttons on her blouse, her own hands had pushed the robes off of his shoulders and were now tugging at the hem of his shirt, yearning for more skin-on-skin contact.

Hermione wasn't sure exactly how it had gotten this far this quickly, but could honestly say she didn't care, as Draco had finally gotten the last button open and was pushing the shirt off of her shoulders. They broke apart for a mili-second so they could, together, pull Draco's shirt over his head. In the process Hermione's leg fell back to the ground. She only got a glance at his perfectly sculpted chest before he was back on her, kissing her frantically.

Then Hermione was the one kissing his neck. She bit down on his pulse point and grinned when Draco's breath hitched. Her head moved lower and she licked the hollow of his neck. As she kissed his upper chest, her hands explored every dip and curve of his abs. Wow, he really does work out, she thought.

Every kiss on his chest and brush of her fingers was driving Draco crazy. He wanted nothing more than to carry her upstairs and throw her on his bed before ravaging her. And yet this felt so good he couldn't even order his muscles to do much more than stand there, palms facing the cool stone wall and let her discover him.

But as she bit down on one of his nipples and Draco groaned involuntarily, he decided he wanted even more to give back some of the pleasure he was receiving. He pulled her back up, kissing her once on the mouth as he pushed her back against the wall. Draco's lips immediately dove down and landed above her left breast, kissing the soft flesh almost tenderly. He kissed his way between her unfortunately clothed breasts.

Surprisingly, Hermione herself pulled slightly from the wall and reached behind her to unclasp her black lacy bra. As the offending garment slid down her arms she watched Draco's face. She was a bit uncomfortable under his scrutiny and bit her lip. Trying to keep from covering herself up, Hermione raised her arms above her to cross and lay on top of her head.

Draco, on the other hand, was ecstatic, and simply stared for a while before latching his mouth onto one nipple and taking the other breast in hand. Hermione, not expecting his sudden onslaught, cried out and arched her back as lightning shot through her, pulling one arm down to grip his neck. She was suddenly acutely aware of the pounding heat between her legs.

Finally, after laving each breast with a copious amount of kisses, Draco righted himself and kissed her slowly, passionately. Hermione could have died from pleasure right there and not been the slightest bit annoyed.

Instead, the next moment, she almost died of mortification.

(A/N: all done. You can open your eyes now ;-)

" 'Mione, I think I.....forgot..."

Ginny's voice died away as she caught sight of the scene before her. Having pulled from the kiss at the first sound of intrusion, Draco's and Hermione's eyes met and they stared at each other in shock.

"You gave her the password?" he muttered.

"Well, yeah, I, erm, I thought, um..." she trailed off, turning redder by the second

Luckily the only thing Ginny could really see properly from her position across the room was the expanse of Draco's back, but it had to have been obvious what was going on when Hermione looked over Draco's shoulder and the two friends' gazes met.

Ginny's mouth was hung wide open. She looked like someone had just smacked her across the face.

Hermione was entirely unsure of what to do. She couldn't simply step out from behind Draco and reprimand Ginny for walking in like that. Besides, she was half naked! How would that have looked? More than suspicious. But then again this entire scenario was already way more than suspicious. Hermione's brain worked in overdrive as she weighed her options.

Finally, locking eyes with Draco once again, she muttered almost inaudibly, "Just stay there for a second, ok?" Using his body as a shield, Hermione ducked down and grabbed her blouse, which was luckily within reach, and hastily pulled it on, starting to button it. Quickly, she motioned for Draco to grab his own shirt.

However, even though he picked it up, he didn't put it on. Instead he turned to face the still-shocked redhead, who looked at him as if he were some sort of alien.

Hands on hips in nothing but a masculine stance, he said, "cat got your tongue, Weaslette?"

As Hermione stepped forward from buttoning her shirt, she saw that he was smirking, and almost looked as if he could start laughing at any moment. Admittedly, the situation in some ways was actually kind of funny, but now was not the time.

Ginny looked like she was about to respond, when Hermione put a hand on Draco's arm. "Draco, go upstairs. Let me handle this." She spoke softly, but firmly, and he had no choice really but to relent.

When they were finally alone, Ginny put her own hands on her hips, and looked murderously at Hermione from across the room.

"What the fuck was that?"

Hermione sighed. There was nothing for it, she would have to explain.

"Come on, Gin, I'm tired. Let's go to my room and I promise, I'll explain everything."

Slowly but surely, the two girls climbed the steps and turned down the hallway to Hermione's room.

This was going to be a long night.

So, what did you think? Is it finally clear how truly messed up Draco is? And what did you think of Hermione's strategy of making him feel better. I'm actually kind of sorry about that. I didn't really plan for it to go that far, but I was feeling a bit randy at the moment, so I was just like fuck it, and I rolled with it.

And now Ginny's gonna find out! Ohhhhhhhhhh! What do you think her reaction will be? I know, it seems like everyone is finding out, but only the people they trust, so it's ok...well, it's ok except for the dark shadow in ch17. But I'm not telling you who that is just yet!

Hahahahaha, ok, so I'm proud of myself for actually updating on time. I'm also, thought, disappointed in myself for putting off doing the rest of my homework (which is a massive amount, jsyk) until around now. Fuck.

So that just shows you how much I love you all, and this fic.

Review! Tell me what you thought! Tell me a random fact!

I have bad luck with sunglasses.

-Ginger