Hey peeps! Sry this one is a little late as well, but I totally have a valid reason. I kind of had 6 days of serious ass-kicking school again. See, I'm volunteering at the NY Aquarium, so I was in training. We learned all this stuff and had hw every night and quizzes every day, and then at the end there was this massive exam, and if you got a 70% or above, you get to work for them FOR FREE.
How twisted is that?
Anyway, that's ok, because yesterday was my first day on the job, and even though my feet still hurt and my back is killing me, it was a lot of fun telling people about sea stars and horseshoe crabs and sea otters. Yay!
ANYWAY, that's why I've been super busy, either sleeping or working, and it wasn't until today that got to finish the second half of this chapter (I wrote the beginning, but wasn't sure what to do with the rest until during training).
Enough of my blabbing! Here are my review responses and then the story!
Responses:
Olioli80: Sry this took a little longer, but I hope you can forgive me. I actually had written more the very next day, but then had no ideas as to what to do with the rest of the chapter until a few days ago, with the help of my mom, strangely enough. Anyway, thanks. I really appreciate the whole 'queen-of-details' thing. Your the best! Hope you like this chapter.
H4L: Exactly! Yay for lemon! All romance fics need one...honestly. And yeah, Draco'll figure things out, but it's gonna take a while and a lot of confusion and drama to get through it. You'll see...
Dani4ever: I know! Sometimes when I think about it in context with the story it seems so odd, and then when I remember I *wrote* it, I blush even more!!! But whatever, it was important for the story's development. And I don't know about love at this point, just because personally I don't like to over use that word, because it's a very strong word and an even stronger feeling, but they definitely have stronger feelings for each other than either are really admitting to themselves. And the evolution is coming your way! Enjoy!
Akilah55: Awww, I'm gonna miss you. Promise to catch up when you get back? And it's totally ok about putting your personal life in your reviews. I do it all the time! And I like knowing about my readers. It's a bond, you know? They're your audience, and you have to know your audience to make compromises for what they like...your innocence thing being a perfect example. I don't mind putting up the A/N's if it'll make my readers happier. Anyway, congratulations on the ballet school! I hope you have fun, dance a lot, and make tons of friends! Sadly, I do not know the difference between...whatever those things are, but if you want you could tell me, I'm a music person and never mind learning about new instruments. My random fact: I went through most of my morning, which included playing the piano, with a blindfold on. I've always wanted to know what it's like to be blind, you know? Just curious... anywho, read on, whatever I've written since you've been gone, and don't hesitate to review!
I would like to dedicate this chapter to Ed Martin, my English teacher this past semester who passed away a few weeks ago. Not only was he my favorite teacher, but he had an outlook on school and life that I loved, appreciated, and respected. Mr. Martin taught at my school for 23 years and I doubt there was a single student of his who didn't adore him or his classes.
RIP
Chapter 23: And So It Begins
Hermione's eyes opened groggily. She looked around for her clock, wondering if it was too early to get up for a Saturday. What she saw instead was the sun peeking up from above the trees of the Forbidden Forest and stabbing her light-deprived eyes.
And the entire night rushed back to her in sharp relief. She had slept with Draco. And now she was still sleeping with Draco. Her senses took in the pillow, his black cloak which had provided at least a moderately comfortable mattress, and then...
Draco, she could tell, was lying face up behind her. He wasn't snoring; thank Merlin for that, just breathing very slowly. She was surprised the sunrise hadn't woken him up. Then again, Hermione was a fairly light sleeper.
And as she studied the sky, colored purple from the sun's slow ascent, she was surprised to find she didn't regret any of it. Last night had been like no other for her and Draco, and not just because of the sex. They had revealed intimate details of their pasts with each other. Hermione had learned that Draco had met Crabbe and Goyle when he was 6, and they had become friends immediately, that he had traveled all over the world and seen hundreds of different cultures and lifestyles, that his mother had always been and still was the person that brought the most, and sometimes the only happiness to his life.
Hermione had reevaluated him last night. Yes, she knew he wasn't now the person he had been before, but she had never really thought too much about who that 'before-Draco' really was. She had always assumed that Crabbe and Goyle were his goons, accessories rather than real friends, that he was entirely isolated in his own social society, that his relationship with both his parents was not especially strong.
She noticed, however, that except for the Death Eater story, Draco had barely mentioned his father at all.
And that specific memory Hermione found to be fascinating, though frightening. She had appreciated more than she could say that he felt comfortable enough with her to tell her something like that.
And his Dark Mark...Hermione had never looked at it, or noticed it at all. She wondered how she had missed it. She had seen him without a shirt enough times to make her blush, but Hermione hadn't actually considered that he still had it. Yet when she had looked down, there it had been, as if waiting for her to take notice. It was more faded than she had expected, but it was still there. The snake and skull were still dark enough to stick out against his pale skin. It surprised her that he had let her touch it.
Now, of course, his anger, confusion, riotous emotions made absolute sense. It was there, with his Dark Mark. She had asked him straight out about his life as a Death Eater. He had told her not to ask. Clearly that's what he was trying to hide from her. It all made sense. She wasn't sure how she hadn't seen it before.
If Draco wanted to keep that to himself, then that was ok with her, but Hermione got the feeling he was tearing himself up about it, and that wasn't ok at all.
Suddenly there was movement behind her and Draco, still sleeping, turned on his side and slung an arm around her waist. It felt good. Sometimes in her dreams and fantasies Hermione forgot that he was a real person. But here he was, flesh and blood, and she could feel his body pressing into her. Draco was warm and tangible and she felt more connected to him now than ever.
Of course that called into question how last night would change their relationship. She was still aware that she wanted to be his girlfriend, officially. But there was of course the question of their friends. Ron didn't know yet, and she doubted he would be especially pleased with the revelation.
But for now she was fine just lying here in Draco's arms watching the rising sun. It was so peaceful.
From afar this probably seemed so strange. They had hated each other by default for so long. Why wasn't it harder for her to forgive him?
"Good morning," a deep, bleary voice said in her ear.
Who was she kidding? It was the easiest thing in the world.
"It is, isn't it?" She was smiling.
He grunted in agreement. There was a peaceful silence between them.
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
"That to anyone else this whole thing would seem impossible."
He chuckled. "I had the same thought last night. To an objective observer we, together, is a ridiculous notion."
"Most of life is ridiculous to an objective observer," she stated quietly. "It only makes sense to those who are living it."
"Well aren't we feeling philosophical this morning?"
"Only a bit." Grinning, she turned onto her back and twisted her head to look at him. His arm remained around her.
They stared at one another for a long time. Hermione felt strange...older. A young girl would not be lying on a cloak having just spent a great night with her almost-boyfriend. A young girl would not feel this way about anyone—especially not a former enemy. She felt like...a woman. Then again, a young girl probably wouldn't have gone through all that Hermione had in her short life. Maybe I've been a woman all this time and not realized it until now? Whatever the case, she had never quite described herself as such, but at this very moment, no matter who or what was outside this balcony, she felt grown up, and as scary as that was, it was also liberating.
Draco's brow suddenly furrowed and she could see a question on his face before he even drew breath.
"Was it hard for you?"
Hermione remained silent, waiting for him to elaborate.
"I mean, last year...it must have been...difficult on you."
Hermione could see he was having trouble voicing what he meant, but she knew. He wanted to know how it had been for her during the war.
She sighed and looked straight up, avoiding his gaze. "Last year was difficult for everyone."
"Yes, but—"
"For me, yes, I know." She paused. What reason did she have to not answer his question? She wasn't hiding anything. And maybe if she was open with her own experiences, he would be as well...
Sighing again, Hermione sat up slightly, holding the blanket up with her, and wandlessly summoned her underclothes. It was unnerving to be so exposed when she was about to reveal herself even more.
When she had her bra and knickers back on, Hermione turned and noticed the surprised look on Draco's face. "You can do wandless magic?" he said, astonished.
"Of course" Hermione had learned it last year when she had had to share her own wand with Harry.
Pulling the blanket up behind her, Hermione lay down on her stomach. Readying herself, she took a deep, calming breath.
And so Hermione began.
"I guess it all started the day of Bill and Fleur's wedding, when Voldemort," Draco winced, "took over the Ministry. We had to run for it. But they found us anyway in a coffee shop in Muggle London..."
Hermione brushed through the first month or so. Eventually she conceded she had to tell him about the horcruxes when he asked why they were looking for some locket. Draco muttered something about 'so that's why he wouldn't die.' She explained their Ministry break-in, and their successive almost-capture, how Ron had been splinched, and how they had begun to live in woods and forests around the country.
"For a while the hardest part was just being bored. And hungry...Ron was being cranky and annoying about not having enough food, but we just dealt.
"And then he left." She sighed, rubbing her forehead. "That was the hardest. Harry and I are close, but...it had always been the three of us, no more, no less. To have him just abandon us—it hurt. I thought a lot about the fact that I may never see him again. Harry and I were pretty desolate for a while.
"Finally, after a lot of arguing, I gave in and we went to Godric's Hollow on Christmas. We visited his parent's grave." Hermione, having never seen Harry cry before until then, refused to betray such a vulnerable moment for him. "And then we went to see Bathilda Bagshot." She smiled grimly. "Turns out she'd actually been dead for months, but Nagini was hiding inside her empty body. She called Voldemort. It was one of the scariest nights of my life. I heard a crash and ran upstairs to find Harry being crushed by the thing. We were able to get out of there alive, but only just. I had to jump out the window and disapparate us in midair. Before that, though...it was the first time I'd ever actually seen him, all flat face and bright red eyes, and he was screaming, this noise that made my blood run cold. And I only saw him for a moment. The force we were fighting didn't quite hit me fully until that night."
Hermione paused after that, thinking of Harry's hallucinations, how she had taken care of him, frightened that Voldemort had managed to somehow curse him in the moments they had spent near enough, her relief when he turned out ok, and the subsequent realization and guilt about blasting Harry's wand in half.
Almost subconsciously, she took hold of Draco's right hand, which was lying next to his head on the pillow. He had not spoken in so long she had virtually forgotten he was there. It was good to remember his warmth next to her. Still leaning on her elbows, she traced the lines of his palm, letting her fingers roam the callused skin on his hand.
The sun rose slowly in the sky. She continued her story in a haunted voice. Just because Hermione had not suffered in the ways that some people had, did not mean she didn't have her scars.
She spoke of Ron's reappearance and her conflicting feelings about it. She mentioned the destruction of the locket and Harry's continuing disillusionment with Dumbledore. She described their visit to Xenophilius's, how she had saved them from another close call with capture and death. Hermione decided to skip over Harry's sudden fascination with the Deathly Hallows, even though admittedly they did turn out to be real. Soon enough she had come to the night they had been taken to Draco's house.
Hermione paused, unsure of how to go on. He knew what had happened just as well as she.
She sighed, long and low, trying to soak in the feeling of the sunshine. But it was hard at the moment.
"I never did thank you," she spoke softly.
He hesitated. "For what?"
She let go of his hand and folded her arms, laying her head down to stare over at him. "You didn't identify us. I was scared stiff, but I know you could have easily told them you recognized me. They still found the sword and all, and they figured it out eventually, but in retrospect it could have been worse if you had intervened.
"And then there was Bellatrix." Draco closed his eyes and noticeably stiffened. Hermione wondered if she shouldn't push the subject, but he had asked, so she was telling. "You know," she continued in a more detached voice, "I've never been under the Cruciatus Curse except that time, and I wouldn't want to again, but somehow it seemed even worse than my studies had led me to believe."
"Bellatrix has a certain fascination with that specific curse," Draco interjected suddenly. "She's been able to perfect the delivery to cause the most pain."
Their eyes locked. Draco had never talked about any of his other relatives before.
"Had"
"What?"
"She had a certain fascination. She's dead, remember?"
Draco seemed unable to speak, so he simply nodded.
Breaking gazes with him, Hermione buried her head in her arms, the memory of that evening suddenly fresh as an open wound. All she remembered was pain, infinitely deep pain. It had touched on every nerve ending in her body, from her scalp to underneath her toenails, simultaneously. She had felt like she was being lit on fire and sawed into little pieces at the same time. And then when it stopped and she thought she could finally start to breathe again, it started up just as quickly. Hermione was pretty sure she screamed, but the ringing in her own ears had been so loud she wasn't positive. Bellatrix had been laughing, a cruel, maniacal sound.
Hermione had been more frightened in that short period of time than she could ever remember being in her life, but somehow she had regained enough sanity to keep lying about the sword, keep from betraying anything that would put their mission in jeopardy. At the same time, though, all she wanted was for the pain to stop.
Hermione realized with a jolt that her eyes were pricking with tears. She was glad her face was shielded from Draco as she blinked them back.
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But Draco knew. He saw her breathing become labored, he saw her head furrow deeper into her arms, trying to escape. He understood more than he could ever express.
Wordlessly, he pulled her towards him, and her body curled into his. Hermione sought out his warmth and comfort to relieve the hurting, and though she didn't know it, Draco did the same. It was almost liberating to connect with a person who had endured at least a small portion of what he had, and as Draco's and Hermione's pain silently mingled, he felt his muscles loosen somewhat in relief.
And so the healing process began.
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An hour or so later, sitting for breakfast at the Slytherin table, it almost seemed like a dream, as if the balcony were outside of time and space (which, knowing the magical world, was disturbingly possible).
Hermione had eventually regained enough composure to tell him about their escape to Shell Cottage, Dobby's death, the Gringotts' break-in, and at long last the Final Battle. Draco had heard about the death of the Weasley twin, but he had been going through enough on his own that he barely gave it a second thought. Turns out a lot of people—Hermione included—were really broken up about it.
Finally, after what seemed like days, they had gotten up, gathered their clothes, and hesitantly left for their own rooms, to venture back out into the real world, though not without a swift but meaningful goodbye kiss.
Somehow Draco couldn't quite fit all that had happened last night and this morning into his thoughts on regular life. But it had happened, there was no doubt about it.
Draco stayed in a somber mood throughout breakfast, thinking things over, rolling them around in his head. He barely spoke a word to his friends, even though they were talking quite normally around him. His trance was broken, however, when McGonagall rose towards the end of breakfast to speak.
"Settle down, settle down. I have an announcement to make. As an extra credit project for Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor Zimmerman has asked me if I would be willing to let you all have a dueling competition." Draco's eyes widened as excited whispers erupted around the room. "Please note that only 7th years, as well as our returning 8th years, will be allowed to participate, though you may all come to watch." The younger students erupted into disgruntled murmurs and disappointed sighs. "As such, participation in the competition will go towards your NEWT scores, as an extra incentive." Draco's eyes met Blaise's and they grinned. It was a well known fact that Professor Zimmerman, the new D.A.D.A. teacher this year, was not only a lot of fun, but fairly lenient. This had his name written all over it.
"The contest will take place tomorrow evening at 8:00 here in the Great Hall. Dinner will be ending early because of this. Have a good weekend and I'll see you there."
The Hall exploded in chatter and Draco turned to Blaise. "You'll be signing up, of course."
"Why not? It'll be fun to show off my skills." Blaise paused and eyed his friend. "Are you going to?"
Draco shrugged. "I guess. I mean, there's no reason not to." In a way, there was, and usually Draco wouldn't want to draw attention to himself. But after this morning he felt more confident, less wary of his own abilities, even with the knowledge of how he had gained them.
Pansy broke in. "I think I might as well sign up too."
Draco was surprised. "Really?" She almost glowered at him, so he grinned to ease the tension. "Not that I think you aren't a good dueler, Pans. I know you've got talent. But this whole competition doesn't really seem like your usual cup of tea."
Usually Blaise would come in at this point to reassure Pansy as well, but ever since the confusion after they had made out Blaise was much less comfortable talking to Pansy. Half the time Draco had to be a middle man just for the 2 to have a regular conversation.
"Maybe not, but," she grinned mischievously, "I could probably find some enjoyment out of kicking a few fellow students' butts." Draco noticed an almost imperceptible glance toward the Gryffindor table, but when he went to follow her eyes, he couldn't make out which student she had been looking at. Then again, maybe he had been imagining things. Draco hadn't gotten much sleep last night, after all.
She turned away from him. "How about you, Greg? Feel like showing the world you're not a hunk of meat?"
Greg smiled at the long-standing joke between them, as his friends usually liked to tease him about the ideas which most of the school had about his personality, or lack-thereof. But he shook his head. "I'm not that great. There's no need to show off my lack of ability, is there?"
Pansy grinned. "I guess not...or are you just scared to loose to a girl?"
"First of all, I'm not scared of losing to anyone when it's just a duel and there's nothing on the line, and second, I don't even know if I'd be up against a girl, especially you. The chances are quite slim, if you think about it."
Pansy rolled her eyes. "You and your logic." They all laughed.
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Hermione glanced around the room anxiously. She honestly shouldn't be here. There was no way she was actually here. Why was she here again?
It counts for NEWTS!
And I might get myself killed.
Oh, come now, there's no need to be so melodramatic.
I don't know how you or Ginny or Harry or Ron ever talked me into this.
Just shut up and kick some ass. You know you can.
Well, I guess I have a bit more experience than most...
Like I said! What reason is there for you NOT to be here?
.......
Exactly
As she waited on line for the sign-up sheet, Hermione rubbed her temples, glancing around the Great Hall. The house tables had been pushed away from the center of the room and toward the front doors was a table set up with a quill, ink, parchment, and a very excited, goofy looking Professor Zimmerman. The line was not especially long, seeing as there was a limited number of students allowed to participate, but the Professor seemed to want to talk extensively with each student as they signed up, so the line was moving ever so slowly.
Steeling herself, Hermione finally stepped up to the front of the line.
"Ah, Miss Granger! I'm glad for you to join us."
"Yes, well," she paused, stooping to write her name on the parchment. "It does count for NEWTS."
"Oh, come now, that can't be the only reason you're here." He continued before she even got a chance to respond. "You're one of the heroes of the Wizarding World! I bet you'll do a bang up job in this contest."
Hermione, cringing at the way his voice rung out so loudly, and even more at the way he was proclaiming her importance, simply muttered an unintelligible response and backed away from the table.
Finding a group of seats taken up by 2 redheads and some guy with a scar and glasses, Hermione joined her friends.
"Sounds like you're getting along quite well with our Professor," Ron said, grinning.
Hermione slouched, putting her forehead in her hands. "Gah, I hate when people do that, when they just expect someone to be this way or that because of some rumor they heard. Or even worse, I hate how just because my name's in some newspapers, suddenly I'm the most important girl in the world."
Harry nodded. "I know just what you mean. I mean, I've learned to cope, but there are times when someone will walk up to me—either a student or some random stranger in the street—and go off about how great and noble and brave and whatever I am, and I just want to throttle them."
Harry made to close his fingers on an invisible throat in front of him. They all laughed.
The evening wore on until all the kinks had been worked out in the schedule. Pointing he wand in the air, Professor Zimmerman said a silent charm and a banner fell from the ceiling, containing a graph of the pairings. Pointing his wand now at his own throat, the Professor muttered a Sonorus and began to speak.
"Quiet everyone, we're about to begin! I'm very excited for tonight's contest, and I suppose all of you are as well. As for the rules, the duel will last as long as both contestants choose to continue playing. Throw up red sparks if you surrender, and remember, there is no shame in doing so! If you get injured, we don't want you hurting yourselves worse in the pursuit of glory. Also, if your opponent surrenders, stop firing. This is not about anger or revenge, and it is especially not about personal gain. We just want to let you exercise your own abilities as duelers. As for the prize, the winner gets their own personal trip to Hogsmeade with any of their friends, as long as everyone going is at least a 7th year. Your judges tonight will be me, of course, Headmistress McGonagall, and Professor Slughorn. I think that covers it. Our first pair are Mr. Weasley and Ms. Chang. Let's get started, shall we?"
Alright, so I was going to put the actual competition in here as well, but the chapter ended up being too long. I promise, the next one will be overflowing with action. It's gonna be fucking awesome! Are you excited? I'm excited. ;-)
Review, review!!!
-Ginger
