Chapter 5
When Iris came in, Vicky was there, and the nervousness in her was only too apparent.
"So you are Victoria Winters?" Iris said cordially "I heard plenty about you, but never got to meet you personally."
"Yes. I am. And... and who are you?"
"Iris White. I am Barnabas' very close friend. All right, lover. These are the eighties and there is no need for euphemisms.
The look that Vicky gave her was three parts amazement and one part distrust.
"I bet that you are wondering whether vampires can have normal sexual relations. Well, they can, and Barnabas does."
There was a deep blush coming into Vicky's cheeks.
"I am sorry. I forgot that you come from a more sexually repressed time. What we call the sexual revolution had just started when you disappeared. You married a virgin, didn't you?"
Vicky's blush deepened even more. She could not bear to hear these things discussed by complete strangers.
"Anything wrong?' Phillip asked, coming in.
"It seems I put my foot in my mouth" Iris sighed. "I don't mean to, but..."
Vicky managed a brave smile "It is all right" she drew a deep breath "I was warned that things had changed since I... went away. But now I am finding out how much."
"I didn't want to hurt you, in any way, please believe me." Iris said earnestly. It is just that..." Iris stopped. With all her good intentions, she would go on saying the wrong things.
And where her intentions really good? Barnabas had once been in love with Vicky, and she was now burning with jealousy, even if she denied it. She had come to take a look at her rival.
"I guess that I'll be going" she said lamely "I can see Barnabas later."
Vicky saw her get up, go to the door...
"Wait! Don't go!" she begged.
Iris turned "Do you want me to stay?"
"Will you tell me about Barnabas?"
Iris looked puzzled "What's there to tell? I can't help being crude and..."
"I remember reading your name in the paper. He had attacked you when I was... still here."
"But that was years ago!" Iris blurted out, then added regretfully "but for you it is still yesterday, isn't it?"
Vicky nodded.
"I am sorry." Iris said again. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"It is not your fault." Vicky steeled herself to listen She should not expect people to accommodate her. "I just want to know how come, after the way he hurt you, you can be so... so friendly with him."
"Did he ever hurt you?"
"He could have. He wanted me to run away with him. If we had... if he had his way..."
"But it didn't happen. And there is little danger of it happening again."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because if he ever looks at you that way I'll take him apart with a blunt nail file."
"You would?" Vicky's eyes widened.
"Just kidding."
"But why doe he want me to move in with him?"
"Because you need help. You are not the first bird with a broken wing that he has taken in. There was Phillip, and Louella Loomis and Amy..."
"Louella Loomis?"
"Sure, Willie's wife. Didn't you know that Willie married? And he has his own shop, selling all kinds of electrical appliances."
"Willie... married..." Vicky shook he head in amazement.
"A bit of a rocky marriage I understand. But at this moment it seems to be on a better footing. But I shouldn't talk about rocky. My own relationship with Barnabas is rocky."
"Why is it rocky?"
"Because our personalities clash, and because I am not sure how much of a commitment I want."
"And he... he always." Vicky swallowed saliva, not knowing whether or not to speak of it. "he is still attacking girls."
"He does not need to take it by force now. And that was the worst part of it. The way he does it, it is almost painless, and with no bad effects whatsoever." she opened her collar so that Vicky could see the scars. "he can make it feel very nice. Very friendly and affectionate."
Vicky looked skeptical, but said nothing to this.
"But don't you worry. He'll keep away from you as long as that is what you want."
"He's already been at me... in Wyncliffe."
"Did he hurt you?"
"Hurt me?" Vicky laughed without humor "He saved me. If it wasn't for him I would still be catatonic. I feel rotten about it. If it wasn't for what he does, I would still be staring at the ceiling. Why can't I feel gratitude at least? Why can't I keep from shivering when I think of him, and thinking of what might have happened if we had run away together?"
"You have been through a lot" Iris said sympathetically "You are pulling yourself together and it is a long process. He understands that., and he does not mind your taking your frustrations on him.
"He won't mind?"
"It would not be the first time a patient got unreasonable on him."
"A patient?" Vicky's voice rose in pitch "Is that all I am? A patient?"
She wondered why she would feel so hurt. It was true after all...
"At the moment, yes."
Vicky felt her face burning, felt the tears fighting to get out, felt her fists close, as if wanting to beat against something... Why did this have to happen to her? Why? She lifted her fists, but let them fall again...
...There was no need anymore... she wasn't in the bottle anymore.
She was free. She was back in Collinsport. And she was lost...
Peter was dead, hanged. He was as lost to her as Burke was. Everybody had changed. Only Barnabas remained, and she was only a mental case to him...
Iris was still speaking but she could not listen to her anymore. Nothing made sense. How could Barnabas be what he was, do what he did, and still command so much love and respect? What sense did it make?
A creaking door told her that Barnabas was about.
"Iris" he sounded somewhat uncomfortable "have you met Vicky?"
"Yes. We have been talking, the two of us."
Vicky was looking at him, the way she always did. The same painful mixture of longing, fear, anger, and something else he could not name. As if she expected him to find her answer when she did not know the questions...
He should give her time, as he had given Phillip. But with her it was different. In the back of his mind there was always the fear that, unable to cope, she would retreat again into herself.
He could bite her again, but shouldn't. It would solve the situation temporarily, but also shatter whatever fragile trust she had in him. And if she didn't trust him, he could not help her.
He led Iris away where they could talk.
"What do you think?" he asked.
"She seems very confused, to say the least. I wonder if it is a good idea to have her here."
Barnabas nodded.
"I know, you area going to say that I am jealous" Iris continued, defensively. "still the way she looks makes me uneasy."
"It makes me uneasy too." Barnabas admitted "I agree that she should not be here. But where else can she go?"
"That's a good lobster" Kenneth sucked on the claws. "don't you agree?"
"Yup" Julia nodded.
"We should do this more often"
"We'll try" Julia hesitated "But I am so busy lately..."
"I should go to work at Wyncliffe."
"Why? Julia asked, surprised.
"So I could see you more often. The fact is that Barnabas sees more of you than I do."
"Kenneth... he's just working for me."
"That's what I said. The only way to see you is to work for you."
"But... but..."
"Of courses, I know that there is nothing between the two of you. I am not jealous of him. But I am jealous of your work. You are just too wrapped up in it."
Julia cocked her head, defiantly.
"I know that you are dedicated. So am I. But I can still find time to read books., to go to the movies, to do something else besides work, work, work. You are a workaholic, Julia."
"I have a big responsibility."
"Learn to delegate it. The clinic won't come crashing down just because you get somebody to share the load there."
Julia shook her head.
"I have to be there, to make sure that Barnabas does not try another of his crazy theories."
"He's been right up to now, hasn't he?"
"Yes, but..."
"But the fact that the hasn't got a degree gets under your skin, eh?"
"It is just that..."
"Julia" Kenneth said quietly "I didn't want to say this, but somehow I feel like...like we are never close. That we don't have a life together, you and . It is like you have your own life, your own concerns, and that I am just an intruder."
"How can you say that?"
Barb' face was white with fright.
"What's wrong?" Barnabas asked her.
"Donna. She was killed " Barb sucked up breath "she hitchhiked on the wrong car. As you said it would happen... She was raped and killed..."
She could not finish. Barnabas held her in his arms and let her cry. It could have been her, she was thinking. She could have gotten in the wrong car..."
"Did you know her?" she asked.
"I talked with her a couple of times. Not much, but..."
She continued crying for a while. Barnabas let her do. Then once she had no more tears, he made her sit down and gave her brandy.
"What do you want to do?" he finally asked.
"I guess I should start fighting for the bus service" she said, dully "Until we get it, none of us will be safe."
Her resolution struck him. "It might be a long fight" he warned her. "They can make life miserable for you."
"I don't care ! You were right! Something has to be done, and if I am not willing to do it, no one else will."
"I am trying to do something about that. Mr. Torrance is involved in it..."Barnabas' voice trailed. He knew how little encouragement Torrance had given him.
"But it is my fight. Mine and the other girls'"
It was quite late when she left. He had not been able to shake her off from her conviction that something had to be done and that she was the one who could make it happen.
And so she drove away, a diminutive Norma Rae, with nothing but her stubbornness and her innocence to prepare her for the trouble that lay ahead.
