Author's note: A warm welcome to Googlemouth and 5! And also to the more quiet ones sitting in the back; zelwicka, delba, KatetheGreat777, meribu and RavenBeastboy19. We're still a small, intimate crowd, but oh, it's a good crowd!

Again, if anyone else stops by, please drop a note to let me know - a bard likes to know to whom she is telling her tale ;-)

Now, on with the story... Xena will soon be arriving, so we have to hurry and get a few more things established first.

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ACT IV

in which the women go on strike, which proves harder for some than others.

The days flew by and became weeks with the sexual strike still in effect. Most of the women had taken up more or less permanent residence on Acropolis, where Lysistrate remained commander in chief.

Initially a few men had tried to force their way into the temple, but they had – according to Lampito – been 'scrawny laddies', as all fit men were off fighting. Even when a whole dozen scrawny laddies had arrived at the same time, they couldn't keep up with Lampito's fists or Gabrielle's stick. They had withdrawn almost immediately.

No new attempts at attacking Acropolis from the outside had been made recently, but a new kind of threat was lurking; this time from within.

"Halt!" Lysistrata demanded as a woman discretely tried to sneak away from the temple. "Where do you think you're going?" The innkeeper stared her down, while the woman herself looked in all other directions.

"I just realised that I forgot to turn off the stove!" the woman chirped.

"You've been here for a fortnight. The fire is either gone by now, or your house has burnt down completely. In either case you might as well stay here."

She signalled for Lampito to escort the pouting woman back to the others.

"If only you knew how that fire burns and burns…" the woman mumbled, barely audible, but Lysistrata heard. The innkeeper sighed and a slender hand was laid on her arm almost immediately. She raised her head, apparently letting her gaze travel from the hand along a slim arm until she met our heroine's concerned, light green eyes.

"Is something the matter?" Gabrielle wanted to know.

"You could say so!" Lysistrata shook her head. "Several of the men are at home on leave, and the bad morale is spreading like lice among the women. So far five horny women have tried to sneak back to their bedrooms, and that's just today! Always offering the most pathetic, far-fetched excuses."

"That's a good sign!" Gabrielle insisted in her ever-optimistic way. "That means the plan is working. If the women are dying from lust already then imagine how their men must suffer! There'll be peace before you know it."

"I suppose you're right... I guess it's just because I myself am beginning to feel the lack of-" Lysistrata looked past Gabrielle for a second and instantly raised her voice: "Hey, you two! What are you playing at?"

Gabrielle turned around and spotted two women with guilt written all over their faces. She recognised one as the loud-mouthed redhead from their first group meeting. This time she looked a lot less cocky.

"My sheets need fresh air, otherwise they'll be eaten by moths," she said in a seemingly casual tone, but her left foot betrayed her by drawing nervous patterns on the stone floor. "And so I thought I might as well put them on my bed!"

"Oh you did, did you," Lysistrata growled. "And you? Are your sheets in danger as well?"

The other women shook her head. "I am very ill," she said earnestly. "I have a terribly itching eczema which requires immediate attention!"

"If you're looking for relief, you'll have to scratch that itch yourself… Or try a bucket of cold water out in the back." She pointed into the temple with her thumb. "Now get back in, both of you!"

The women hesitated for a moment, until Gabrielle demonstratively attacked the air with a couple of swift, graceful strokes of her staff. The women looked at each other, then took a step backwards and disappeared into the shadows.

"Thanks," Lysistrata said.

"No problem." Gabrielle put her stick down, once again transforming it into a perfectly harmless wanderer's staff. "But I see your point. They'll be deserting by the dozen unless we do something about it soon."

"What more can we do?" Lysistrata leaned her head against the temple wall. "I am guarding the entrance around the clock and yours as well as Lampito's fighting skills have already been put to use."

"Don't worry. I'll keep them occupied." Gabrielle poked Lysistrata's soft stomach with an index finger. "Did I mention that the Academy of Bards actually did offer me a spot?" She smiled knowingly. "Wait and see... They'll be glued to the floor!"

And with that Gabrielle climbed onto a small altar in the middle of the temple and began telling stories. Before she had finished her first – the one about her and Xena finding a child in a stream – a dozen women were eagerly listening on the floor. Somewhat into the second approximately half the women had found a spot in front of her, and by the time she was telling her third tale every single temple squatter was wrapped around Gabrielle's finger.

"But what happened to Callisto afterwards," a woman wanted to know, "didn't she come back for revenge?"

"She did, in fact," Gabrielle admitted and began telling her fourth story. Fortunately she had more than enough to last throughout the strike.

Gabrielle didn't allow herself to take a break until nearly all of the women had dozed off. By then the sun had set. She ought to be exhausted as well, but for some reason couldn't find rest and volunteered for the night shift at the temple entrance.

There were no clouds that night, but the city lights made it impossible to make out the many constellations that she and Xena could see when they were sleeping under open skies far from the comforts of civilisation. She wondered if the warrior princess, wherever she was right now, was able to see more stars? She imagined her friend curled up next to a fire, fast asleep. Her calm breathing. The flames making her dark hair glow. The soft shadows playing across her temporarily peaceful face… Picturing the scenario in vivid details was easy for Gabrielle; she had watched Xena sleep oh so often and each time fought the urge to reach out and touch her.

Almost three weeks had passed since they last saw each other and Gabrielle sorely missed the closeness of the older woman, but knew from experience that their reunion would prove anticlimactic. Reality never lived up to Gabrielle's blissful reveries in which the reunion entailed much more than a platonic embrace. In reality, she always missed Xena just as much when she was actually around as a constant reminder of what was missing from their friendship. The young bard had bit back her frustrations up until now but they were building like tumour in her abdomen.

"Wut's eatin', luv?"

A question posed in a heavy Spartan accent interrupted Gabrielle's thoughts. She hadn't been aware of the sighs she was uttering, much less noticed that someone else had joined her in the dark.

"Suppose it's some laddie?" Lampito suggested as she sat down on the floor next to Gabrielle.

"Not really." Gabrielle put on a smile, but knew it didn't reach her eyes. Hopefully the night shadows would hide as much.

"I must say, you have more backbone than most of us."

This time the voice belonged to Lysistrata. She picked a spot across from them so the three women formed a kind of circle and handed Gabrielle a bowl of steaming stew. Its tempting spicy scent mixed with the cool breeze. How the innkeeper managed to cook it out here, in the middle of Acropolis, was beyond Gabrielle.

"Thought you'd need it after entertaining all of us for hours. You're not a camel, after all," Lysistrata automatically added. It was probably one of the innkeeper's favourite phrases, Gabrielle mused.

For once, the bard's ever hungry stomach remained unmoved by the prospect of food, but she stuffed her mouth anyway, hoping Lampito would forget her initial question. Unfortunately, Lysistrata took over instead.

"Tell me, how do you manage to keep going all those months on the road? Three weeks without men and the rest of us are ready to jump the nearest door knob," the innkeeper drily remarked.

"That's because you're all spoiled lassies," Lampito interjected. "Military school from the age of five, divided by gender – that's how proper women are bred!"

Lysistrata arched an eyebrow. "I seriously doubt Gabrielle has attended military school, Lampito." She turned her attention back to the bard. "But what is your secret? Do you have a man waiting for you in every province?"

"Suppose it's easy for you to pick them up, even if you are a bit scrawny," Lampito mused. "Many a laddie does prefer a wee wifey, so he won't have to fear being hit back when he beats her."

Gabrielle cast a horrified glance at Lampito and was shocked to find that the Spartan woman appeared absolutely serious.

"You're mistaken, both of you," she said with conviction and a head shake. "The only men awaiting Xena and me with regular intervals are thugs and thieves. And then of course the ones we help and the ones we fight. Frankly, we have no time left for other men," she concluded before shovelling enough stew into her mouth to prevent her from answering any more questions in the near future.

"Sounds superhuman to me," Lysistrata said simply. Then, accompanied by something in between a sigh and a yawn, she added: "But you're lucky; it must spare you from a lot of frustrations."

And with that, the innkeeper got up and disappeared into the temple. Lampito followed her example, and Gabrielle was, once again, alone in the dark.

"I'm not at all superhuman," she mumbled to herself. Huffing, the bard pushed the empty bowl away with more force than intended. It rattled noisily across the stone floor, heading directly for the flight of stairs leading up to the temple, but stopped in the very last moment and was left balancing on the edge of the first step. The sound of pottery breaking into a thousand pieces was only – like so many other things – in Gabrielle's imagination.


END ACT IV - after a short refreshment break, we shall return for act V, in which the arrival of a certain warrior princess lets Lysistrata put two and two together, and Gabrielle learns new skills. Cheers!