Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½

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You Want Us To What!

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Chapter three

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She was certain she was going to regret this decision, but she still managed to drag herself down to the Nekoten so early in the morning. She was clearly unsuccessful in her attempts to destroy Ranma and Akane, but this was desperation on her part to actually come visit Shampoo to seek aid. In the past she always worked solo on trying to win Ranma over, only meeting Shampoo halfway during her effort. Or, whenever they met on the battlefield- which was quite often.

Sighing, she loosened the strap on her spatula in case the Amazon tried to turn this calm meeting into a blood bath and casually approached the restaurant, sliding the door open. Her eyes quickly scanned the area and found Shampoo tending to a table of four: parents, one boy, and a girl. Another sigh escaped her lips and she encouraged herself that his had to be done. With Shampoo's help the girls could off Akane and with her gone they could fight amongst themselves to see who would get Ranma. With that last thought in mind, the girl poked the waitress on the shoulder. "Hey, Shampoo."

"Is only ramen, yes? Someone be with you shortly then. Thank you for wait." The minute they were face-to-face, Shampoo's sweet act dropped and a more smug look was apparent on her face. "What Spatula Girl want? Shampoo very busy now!"

The nerve, Ukyo thought angrily to herself as Shampoo brushed past her and escaped into the back to deliver the order. She couldn't just greet me properly? Ignoring her instinct to tear the girl to shreds then and there, she instead jogged after her, keeping her facial expression indifferent. "Shampoo? I need to talk to you."

"I say I very busy. Unlike you store, Shampoo really has customers."

That was the last straw. "What did you say?! I'll have you know that my store is doing very well!" Ukyo leaped over the counter and went into the back, ignoring Mousse's protesting quacks. She was pretty sure that if she walked around with such a skimpy waitressing outfit, she would have a lot more customers as well! Shampoo continued mincing the vegetables, completely ignore the okonomiyaki chef. After a few minutes she ordered the now male Mousse to finish the order.

"What you want?" Shampoo said finally, drying her hands with a towel before tossing it back in the sink.

"I... I need your help." Ukyo responded hesitantly.

"Shampoo help? With what?"

Inhaling deeply Ukyo started the story from the very beginning, from when she first created her special sauce and how Ranma messed with the ingredients and how him and Akane were now pretending to be married. She kept watch of Shampoo's facial features, never seeing such a flurry of emotions evident on a single person's face. "The problem is," she continued miserably. "They're doing this whole married thing really well. Like really, really well. That's why I'm here to ask for your help. We need to find a way to prove that they're not married."

"Stupid pervert girl try sleep with Ranma before Shampoo," the Amazon growled, denting the counter with her fist. "Shampoo no allow it. Ukyo, I help you stop stupid Akane."

Ukyo felt a sudden weight lifted off her shoulder as she smiled. "Just the response I was hoping for."

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Akane squirmed uncomfortably, causing another sigh to erupt from the pigtailed boy next to her. "What?" She challenged, and he turned so their faces we next to each other. She instantly blushed and began to squirm once more. How could she not be uncomfortable under these circumstances?

"You keep moving around."

"I'm uncomfortable."

"Lose weight and they'll be enough space between us."

"Oh, really? I'll lose weight when you become a real man!"

"I am a man! A man-among-men, even!"

"Yeah, and pigs can fly," she countered, ignoring his next comment of calling her "uncute". She didn't know what Nabiki was thinking, putting them up to this. It was the middle Tendo's idea to make Ranma and Akane practice sleeping in the same bed so that they wouldn't be so nervous while doing the real thing. Which was ironic, however, considering she was a lot more nervous now. Whenever they went to sleep, she tried her very best to fall asleep quickly so she wouldn't have to deal with her head swelling with thoughts of Ranma and feet brushing every once in awhile. But now she was forced to be in bed with Ranma for practice– while Ukyo wasn't even here!

To make it even worse, Nabiki had forced Ranma into wearing his usual garb when he was sleeping: boxers and a tank top. She advised him to get accustom to it since he would be wearing the actual thing tonight. Akane squirmed once more, followed by Ranma's customary sigh. What was bothering him anyway? This was his third time sighing since they arrived into her bedroom. "Hey, Ranma. Are you okay? You're sighing up a storm."

"I'm just thinking."

"You? Thinking? This can't be good." She joked, sticking her tongue out after Ranma shot her a glare.

"I think there has to be some way to end this quicker." Staring intensely at Akane he added: "a date."

"A date?" she repeated, her eyes widening. Did he know what he was asking her?

Ranma Saotome, in the first time of his life, was sucked dry of his confidence. He had summoned all his courage to ask her, under Nabiki's encouraging "do it or I'll make sure to triple the cost of the money you owe me" advice. It offered him a chance to rid of Ukyo and her crazy ideas, plus he kind of wanted to go. The last two nights made Akane seem more close to him in ways she never had. Maybe she was playing pretend, but he had stopped long ago. He looked forward to being close to Akane without her mallet being wielded at any time. But, looking at her bulging eyes, he realized that she was not the least bit interested in him or the date. "You know," he began, attempting to save face, "I just think if we go on a fake date to convince Ukyo we're married, she'll leave. You don't have to worry though, it's not real."

Of course it wasn't, her mind scolded. None of this was. Ranma was playing actor for Ukyo, and she was getting her hopes up for no reason. She sat upright and threw her feet off the side of the bed, hiding her face from him. "Fake date? Good idea!" She lied, her feet dangling. "Ukyo will leave and we won't have to pretend anymore. We can finally stop pretending."

The last sentence caught him off guard. It wasn't as though she was telling him, but asking him? He shook his head clear of such thoughts. He was analyzing things way too much. "Yeah. Ukyo's restaurant is closed tomorrow, we can go then," he felt tension hanging in the air, so to lighten up the mood he added: "Oh, and Akane?"

She cleared her throat. "Yeah?"

"You better not order way too much food like all those other girls," she shot him a glare and he grinned. "It would not help your figure at all. Trust me."

Well, two can play at that game, she thought to herself. "Oh? You meant that we were going on a date as a couple? I figured we were going as two friends since I know how hard it is for you to stay in guy form. What with all your... issues."

"You're so, so, so, so, souncute!"

She laughed, feeling her heart beating fast. Even if this was just pretend, this was a date! With Ranma, no less! This would be their second, if you technically counted that other time with the whole Nabiki incident. If they managed to pull it off, they would never have to play pretend again. They could go back to normal. She watched Ranma leap off the bed and yawn, yelling to Nabiki downstairs that their practice time was up.

She felt a nagging in her heart that she ignored. The nagging attempting to convince her that she was happy this way. She shook her head and rose from the bed, determined to buy a new outfit for their upcoming date. She felt the same as she did back then, when Nabiki told her Ranma had asked her for a date. Even without the circumstances, she smiled broadly. "I'm so... happy."

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"Date?" Shampoo repeated, smiling at Ukyo. "Shampoo have too good plan!"

Ukyo returned her smile. "I sometimes almost like you, Shampoo."

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A/N: This has to be the shortest chapter I have ever written, but I wanted to save the date for another chapter where I can do with it what I please. I'm sorry this chapter is so late! _ Things have just been out-of-control haha. I typed this up quickly, so I'm not sure if there are any grammar errors and apologize if there are.

I don't think this chapter is that good, and I'm sorry for that too! I hope at least some of you will enjoy this chapter! Thanks for all of the reviews, it makes me so bubbly! (:

Hopefully I upload soon and don't keep you guys waiting for months. Gah. Please review and tell me what you think! Constructive criticism is always welcome.