For a good visual of what Valkyrie's awesome new jacket looks like, go to Google Images, and search "forever 21 soldieress jacket". The first four images are essentially what it looks like. I actually own the coat that her new one is based off of, and I searched and searched and could not find a picture of it! D: But just take away a set of buttons, center the other buttons, add some pockets, and voila!
Written Midday, June 4th
Dear Diary,
I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes.
~Valkyrie
Written Late Afternoon, June 4th
Dear Diary,
I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes.
~Valkyrie
Official Entry #4: Written Late Evening, June 4th
Dear Diary,
I still hate planes, but we're not flying anymore, and I've gotten over my slight flight sickness, SO, let us recap my day from when I woke up, until now, shall we?
6:28 AM
I already knew today would suck for a few reasons. One of them being I'd be flying today. The other being that I woke up before my alarm and I hate when that happens. I dragged myself out of bed and took a hot shower, which woke me up sufficiently. After that, I trudged downstairs, though I was still going pretty fast since I was ready to kill a puppy from lack of sleep and caffeine.
I barely registered Skulduggery sitting at the kitchen table. He opened his mouth to say something, but I flailed my hand around, signaling that if tried to hold a conversation with me, let alone an intelligent conversation, blood would be spilled. He instantly shut up, and waited for my coffee to be done.
7:00 AM
Okay. My coffee was done and it smelled really good and I was really tired and all I wanted to do was hug Skulduggery because he smelled really good. Yeah, I was going delirious. I blame it on the actual dream I had where scissors were actually chasing me.
I grabbed my mug, filled it to the brim with coffee, sugar, and creamer. I like it sweet.
Skulduggery's first words to me were, "Why drink it if you can't taste the coffee part?"
I shrugged and took a sip and instantly relaxed. "Because." I paused. "And that is my answer."
He laughed quietly. "Well alright then. I won't press. Are you packed?" I nodded. "Good, and I have your new coat, so don't freak out when you can't find it again."
"Okay," I said defensively, "that's only happened, like, five times. Don't get your panties in a twist."
He laughed again, louder this time. "Is this your new phrase?"
"You bet!" I smiled. I watched as he pulled a package from the chair next to him and tossed it to me. I caught it (awesomely) in one hand and quick undid the packaging around it. I tossed the brown paper aside and stood up and admired the new coat.
It was shorter than before, since the others went down to my thighs, this went to my waist. I noticed a plain dark purple shirt that had fluttered to the ground, and figured they were both protective.
I laid the coat on the table and admired it. It was made from an incredibly dark black material and was soft, like cotton. There were four pockets, two at the bottom and two at the…breasts. Two buttons were on the sleeves at the bottom, making rolling up the sleeves slightly more complicated. There were six buttons on the front. The buttons (I'm using the word 'buttons' too much) were each decorated with a crest of sorts. There was a small lion standing on his hind legs, and he was placed in front of a shield looking thing. I noticed the shoulders were broad and had squared tops, with fabric coming away from the whole coat, and buttons securing it back down.
All in all, I looked as if I could be one kick-ass army general.
"Oh that Ghastly," I muttered. Skulduggery placed a hand on my shoulder, and he seemed to lean in a bit. But right at that moment, the front door opened and slammed. We scooted away and saw Tanith and Fletcher waltz in.
Way to go, you guys. You ruined the moment.
7:34 AM
We all talked for a while, and Tanith kept shooting me these glances. I think they were supposed to comfort me, but it didn't do much. She's one of the only people to know of my flight-phobia, besides my parents. (And don't ask, Diary, how this fear came to be. It's best to let it churn back in my mind and not let a soul know.)
Fletcher thought I looked incredibly…something in Russian. He said that he picked up the language just like that.
I doubt it, Renn.
But I tried on the jacket and instantly declared it was single-handedly the coolest thing I had ever put on my body. EVER.
8:00 AM
I looked up at the clock. It was four hours till our flight left. Cue terrible-sick-to-my-stomach feeling.
8:30 AM
Ghastly popped up, and as he was stepping into the house, China Sorrows showed up. Since I had agreed to let this mad woman stay in my partial house, she suggested we all meet and head to the airport together.
Oh what a joy that turned out to be.
9:00 AM
I sat next to Skulduggery in the Bentley. Tanith and Ghastly had opted out of the Awkward and Creepy Fest and took Ghastly's van. China and Fletcher were in the back, sitting as far away as possible from each other. Fletcher hadn't met China a few years after we met him. He saw her…and instantly fell to his knees and tried kissing her hand it was disgusting. Of course, China was used to men falling over her feet like that, but apparently Fletcher had taken the cake. She hadn't seen anyone overreact that like in a while. I remember her shooting Skulduggery a look, while a smirk played at her cherry lips.
It was creepy, to say the least.
9:10 AM
"Are we there yet?" Fletcher groaned.
"Does it look like it, Fletcher?" Skulduggery replied. For God's sake, I was ready to strangle the punk. That was the sixth time he had asked that!
9:13 AM
"Are we-"
"OH MY GOD," I shouted. "FLETCHER."
"I was just asking if we were there-"
"We're obviously not," I growled.
And thus, Fletcher didn't make a peep the rest of the trip.
HA.
11:20 AM
"Finally!" Fletcher shouted as we pulled into the airport. I watched a plane take off and felt all my coffee churn in my stomach. Oh, God, this was terrible.
11:30 AM
I will not bore you with the check in and the security, but I will bore you with the almost near-exposing of the entire magical community, since the security guards kept wanting Skulduggery to take off his disguise. China finally stepped in, though.
"Please, good sir," she said calmly, turning on her pretty charms to maximum. "I'm this man's doctor, and I can vouch for him. He's suffering from Digitus Manus Disease, and it's very serious."
"What does it do?" the guard asked warily.
"It…" China paused a moment. "It peels the skin off over time. The skin becomes papery, and it can easily fall off."
"Like leprosy?"
China smiled. "No, nothing like that. But this cover-up is needed for his skin. It protects it from outside forces. I do hope you understand."
The guard nodded slowly, then scanned the rest of us. We passed through with no more alarms, thank God. As we walked away, Skulduggery leaned in to China.
"I have Finger Hand Disease?" he asked quietly.
She shrugged. "It was the first thing that came to mind."
11:40 AM
Skulduggery and I were sitting side by side in the terminal where our flight would take off. China was off to the side, reading a giant book, while Fletcher was staring at the floor. Tanith and Ghastly were sitting next to each other, each leaning against each other. (Spontaneous romance, much?)
I felt a hand reach for my own.
"Relax," Skulduggery muttered. I looked down at his gloved hand and noticed that it was shaking from my hand shaking.
I laughed nervously and scratched my head. "I kind of fail with planes," I said back.
"I noticed," Skulduggery said, gesturing to my now shaking leg. His arm stretched out until his hand was resting on my thigh, holding it steady. I laughed again, biting my lip. The intercom overhead buzzed loudly, saying that "Flight 302-96 was now loading".
I stood up, and Tanith immediately grabbed me and dragged me towards that giant tunnel thing leading to the plane. I've always wanted to be in one of those, and then come out slowly, and then see my Significant Other (cough wink nudge) and go rushing towards them. And the sudden music swells and people clap and gush at how marvelous our romance is.
Okay, done now.
12:05 PM
The French Sanctuary was kind enough to book us two three seat things. Ghastly had the window, China had the middle, and Fletcher got the unfortunate aisle. Tanith, Skulduggery, and I were across the aisle. Tanith was sitting next to me at the window, I was the middle, and Skulduggery was at the aisle too.
I felt the plane's engines fire up and we were lifted into the sky with ease, though I think I nearly broke my finger after biting it.
12:35 PM
This is when I began to have heart attacks and wrote the first bit about how I hated planes. Just letting you know, Diary.
1:06 PM
Aaaand here's where I wrote the second entry thing about how I still hated planes. Tanith noticed me doing so and laughed quietly. I stuck my tongue out at her and turned back to writing. Skulduggery was meditating beside me, so I figured it was safe to break out the diary. I made sure to not go anywhere near the creepy fantasies and such.
1:40 PM
WE FREAKING LANDED. AND I LIVED. This calls for a celebratory mental dance! Join me Diary!
2:00 PM
I had decided already that France will either be really awesome, or incredibly terrible. I mean, first of all, I don't speak French. But, we're also in the City of Love (right?) so maybe…Okay, fine. I'll focus on this whole giant gargoyle thing, but then once we get that pretty much wrapped up, my goal of romancing Skulduggery Pleasant will…commence and stuff.
Wow, I'm slightly crazed.
2:14 PM
"How much longer 'till we get to the villa thing?" Fletcher groaned. We were all crammed in one of China's…spare cars. (What the heck? I mean, who keeps cars in other countries? It's like, "Oh yeah, we're here in the Philippines! Let me just get my Porsche I've got lying around!")
"Fletcher," I said, "if we start this again you will be murdered."
He frowned. "You wouldn't murder me," he said. "You love me too much. Admit it."
"Shut up," I said.
"Oh, what a comeback," Tanith smirked. "I was expecting something more refined and more violent coming from Valkyrie Cain."
I frowned. "Fine. Fletcher, shut up or I will be reduced to cutting off your balls in the middle of the night."
"Not quite morbid enough," Ghastly chimed in.
"I would think there would be toxic waste involved," China said.
"We wouldn't want Fletcher turning into the Joker, now would we?" Skulduggery said. "He's already insanely happy, and not quite normal."
"Valkyrie should be Batman!" Fletcher called out.
"Alright, and then when I catch you, I'll get Uncle-Commissioner Gordon to arrest you and put you in a jail cell with Sanguine as Poison Ivy and Dusk as Mr. Freeze."
"Can you imagine Sanguine running around in a skimpy lime-green leotard with vine make-up?" Ghastly mused quietly.
Tanith whimpered. "Please pull over. I think I'm going to be sick."
"Agreed," Skulduggery added and sped up China's spare car. I do have to say that that's probably the strangest conversation we've all had, besides the one about ostriches. That was about whether or not Skulduggery was an ostrich in another life, since he fell and got his head buried in sand, while standing upright one time. That was amazing.
3:00 PM
Okay, we finally made it to the villa. And, let me explain what the villa looks like in my most poetic and dumbest voice I can muster. I'll even make the writing all fancy for added effect.
My uncle's villa was perched precariously on a protruding hill. By the gorgeous backside, there's a lake with shimmering water that catches the light as the sun sets, creating a wild fire upon water.
The house itself is dazzling. (Unlike my writing.)
The outside paint was a light peach color, and the windows and doors were all a cherry wood color. There were three garages on the right side, two of them already with cars Gordon had bought once, back when his heart beat. (Speaking of Gordon, he was very disgruntled about how I stuffed him in my cargo bag, and how he was tossed around. It was hilarious.)
The garages are positioned just so that the sun hits them first as it's rising, and they create abstract shadows on the archway leading to the front door.
The front door is made of the same dark wood as the windows and such, and has a silver knob. Fogged glass with diamond designs are in the center.
Alright, I give up.
All in all, the house is beautiful. It's got pretty coloring and crap like that. The inside is just as pretty. It's got four bedrooms and four bathrooms. Three rooms get their own bathroom, while there's just a random bathroom on the first floor.
We all got out of the spare car and collapsed into the main entry way. I flopped down on the ground, with Tanith next to me. Skulduggery and China were sitting gracefully on the couch by the door, while Ghastly leaned up against the wall. We looked all cool and chill.
"We never discussed who rooms where," I blurted out.
China nodded. "I think Valkyrie should get the master, since it is her house."
"Here, here!" Fletcher shouted. I thumped him in the stomach.
"I'd room with someone of the opposite sex, so long as it's not Fletcher," Tanith said.
"Hey!"
"Well," she rebutted and grinned.
"I'd room with whoever makes me room with," Ghastly added.
"Tanith and Ghastly should be together!" Fletcher sang out. He did so in a very terribly done falsetto voice, which just made me giggle insanely.
"I technically don't need a room," Skulduggery said, "just a chair, really."
"You stay with Valkyrie then," China declared.
Tanith grinned and kicked my leg. "Oooh!" she shouted.
"Hush up," I groaned and kicked her back. "As long as you don't rape me in the middle of night or anything," I said to Skulduggery.
He shrugged. "No guarantees."
"So," Fletcher muttered, "I'll get my own room, and China gets her own too. I am rather pleased."
"Well thank God," Ghastly said dryly, hoisting up Tanith and their bags. "I'm glad Fletcher will be alone. Leave him to do his lonely man things."
I laughed as Fletcher got up and ran after them, his bag in hand.
"It's not good to lie!" he shouted. China sighed and looked like she was rolling her eyes, but I think she was just trying to send some weird glance at Skulduggery. She reached to get her back and headed up the stairs after Fletcher. I watched as Skulduggery chuckled and then rolled off the couch and laid down next to me on the floor.
"We have weird friends," I said.
He nodded. "This is true. You alright with shacking up with someone as manly as me?" he asked.
"Yeah, when you wear some jeans, drink a beer, and build a dollhouse for me is when I call you manly."
"I can't even drink beer!" he shouted. He reached out and poked my side, making me scream and roll over. He laughed and poked again on the opposite side, and I squealed and swatted his hands away.
"You suck," I said.
"Suck what?" he asked back.
"Suck…your non-existent manliness."
"Don't take me down to Fletcher's levels, please," he said softly. I burst out laughing, slapping him on the ribs. He responded by poking me at the same time on both sides. I screamed and jumped up and ran away. Skulduggery got up right after me, and chased right after me.
4:30 PM
I remembered all the Elders saying that we should go and see the French Sanctuary as soon as possible.
Well, I think playing hide and seek with Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, and Fletcher is far more important. Obviously, China is being a buttface and isn't playing.
Way to spoil the fun, China. She'll probably kill me if she ever read this…
I was currently positioned in a wardrobe at this moment, and Fletcher was it. I was really hoping for the wardrobe to turn into a magical world of snow and talking lions and little kids being kings and queens, but it didn't.
Poo on this wardrobe then.
6:00 PM
Fletcher found me a little bit after 4:45. Jerk. I was found last, and the way that Tanith was making us play was that the last person found would then be it. We played a round, then Ghastly was it, and then I got it again.
Blargh, I hate being it.
It's creepy. This house is too quiet. I'm afraid that something is going to jump out at me. Yeah, and jump out is exactly what Skulduggery did to me. I was just meandering through the kitchen, poking in all the cabinets, and such, when suddenly the panty opens so insanely quiet that I don't notice it. Skulduggery crept out and poked me on the sides again, extra hard and extra…tickling-ness. I screamed and jumped and aimed to punch him in the face, but he caught my fist before I could hit him and he put a finger to my lips.
I rolled my eyes. "Please stop sucking."
He laughed and put his arm around me again, leading me out of the kitchen and up the stairs. "Alright, I can try. Have you found anyone else yet?"
"No, I haven't," I answered. "And, really, I didn't find you. You were the idiot who jumped out at me. I think you should be it."
He shook his head. "No, that is most certainly not how the game works."
"What was the screaming?" we heard China call from her room.
"It was just Skulduggery sucking," I shouted back.
"So nothing out of the ordinary, then," she said.
"Nope!" Skulduggery shouted and grinned. I nudged his side, and he responded by pinching my sides lightly, making me squeal lightly.
"You love me," he said quietly.
And for a moment, I thought that he was serious. Of course, I started totally freaking out (mentally), before realizing that he was being sarcastic.
"Oh yes," I smiled, "I love you alright."
I wasn't sure if I was saying this in response to his sarcastic statement, or if I was actually stating that I loved him. It's still bugging me.
But anyways. This sort of concludes my day, and nothing really interesting happened. China yelled at us for causing such a ruckus, and Gordon refused to come out of the Echo Stone, since he's still sulking.
We ate, I felt nauseous since I always feel nauseous after being on a plane and eating, and then I threw up.
Indeed, I threw up. It was disgusting. Are you thinking that, Diary, this is interesting? No, it's not. This is normal for moi (I should actually learn French).
What is interesting is that Skulduggery came and found me, leaning up against the bathroom door. He looked at me for, like, five minutes before asking if I was alright.
"I'm just peachy keen, jelly bean," I replied. "Nothing like a good puke."
"You threw up?" he asked like it was the most shocking thing in the world.
"Yes, thank you Captain Obvious."
"Sorry General Cranky." He sat down next to me and let me lean up against him. Romantic, right?
Sort of.
It would have been romantic if he didn't poke me in the sides, making me laugh again. I groaned as I felt my stomach churn, but then relaxed when I felt his hands reach and hold my hips down. One hand rubbed my back and the other held me grounded.
"Do I suck now?" he asked quietly.
"No," I answered truthfully. "I love you right now."
"You love me all the time," he shot back. I didn't say anything back, but just snuggled up closer to him. "Good answer," he whispered.
So, all in all, Diary, this day was rather eventful. And from the stories I've heard of the French Sanctuary, I can't wait until we meet them.
~Valkyrie.
This is long, obnoxious, and I knew that doing two stories at the same time would come to bite me in the butt again.
Sorry for mistakes and thanks for reading :)
