Thanks for all the kind reviews. I love you guys a lot. I think this is the most reviews I've gotten in just a small amount of chapters/entries (course, that doesn't mean to keep leaving them).

And, as you all probably figured, I don't speak any language other than English. That is why, if any of you speak or read or are fluent in French and notice that the sentences are all retarded and stuff, it could be because I'm using a translator and we all know how reliable those can be XD

Also, going along with the whole French thing, there will be stuff in French here, but what I'll do is put exactly what it is in English right after it.


Entry #5 Written June 5th

Dear Diary,

Haha oh wow. I think I'm in love with France. Well, more specifically, the French Sanctuary.

As you may recall, the night ended rather lovely forme. I had thrown up, but Skulduggery had been there and he comforted me like the gentleman he is.

Would you care to know how my morning started out then?

Well, I woke up to the smell of burnt waffles, and that's just gross. I then realized that my butt really hurt, and then I further realized that I was lying in my bed. After that, my brain kicked into overdrive and I sat up in bed a little too eagerly and noticed Skulduggery fixing his tie/suit.

"I thought you had gone into a coma, for God's sake," he said lightly. I grunted. "Oh, that's right," he smirked, "caffeine comes first. No talking." I grunted again, getting out of bed. I then realized that I was still in my clothes from the previous day.

"OH THIS IS DISGUSTING," I shouted.

Skulduggery whipped around. "What? What?"

"I'm still in my clothes!"

"Do you wander around naked normally?"

"You know what I mean! Groooooss." I got up and bypassed him altogether, heading straight into the bathroom.

"Are you actually going to walk around naked?" he called from the other side.

I wrenched open the door and poked out my head. "What do you think?"

"It's unpredictable with you," he replied cheekily.

"Well then, you'll just find out." I smiled big at him, then shut the door again and got the water hot. I stepped in and I swear I almost fell asleep in there. I forcefully hit the water off and stepped out, and of course, realized I really had no clothes. I had grabbed my towel, and peeked out of the door.

"Creeper," I said to Skulduggery as he looked up from his book.

"I was waiting for the thump of your body. You've fallen asleep in the shower about six times now," he grinned. "I'm of course just looking out for you."

"Oh well thanks a bunch," I said. "Well, I need clothes, and I'm still in my towel, so don't freak out and yell at me for being half-naked and for not giving you a warning, when I most certainly did."

"You won't forget that, will you?"

"Nope!" I smiled and stepped out of the bathroom. I watched Skulduggery's head tilt as he watched me cross to the dresser and grab my clothes. He laughed as I yanked on the new coat Ghastly made me, since it wouldn't come out from the drawer. I stuck my tongue out at him, and then disappeared back into the bathroom. I threw on my protective pants and the new protective shirt Ghastly had made along with the coat. The shirt was short-sleeved, and was long enough to cover the exposed skin that was uncovered by my coat. I had the coat in my hand and stepped out of the bathroom. Skulduggery was still there, only he was adjusting his tie again.

"It must be perfection, Valkyrie," he said as he noticed my eye rollage. "Do not mock a man and his suits. In fact, don't ever mock suits. They are suits."

"Suits are God!" I called out, stepping out of the room and into the nice hallway. Skulduggery followed me, grabbing his regular disguise and carrying it downstairs. We reached the kitchen where the smell of bacon, coffee, and burnt waffles mixed in the air.

Ew.

Fletcher smiled at me from his seat at the table. "Ready to go partying at the French Sanctuary?" he asked cheekily. Everyone but Skulduggery and I got out of official work, since they weren't detectives. Ghastly sat next to Fletcher and he was eating toast and bacon. Tanith sat on the counters with her hair all huge and giant, and her eyes bleary.

"What's wrong with you?" Skulduggery asked ever so delicately. (Note the sarcasm?)

Tanith stuck her tongue out at him and sipped her coffee. "I just slept bad is all."

"I bet you did," Fletcher added with his smirk.

"Please, no sexual innuendos until noon, Fletcher," Ghastly said. "Our minds are already too perverted thanks to you. I began thinking about whether or not someone who is paralyzed from the waist down is still able to get it up."

"I've wondered that too," Skulduggery mused. "Just like if someone were to shoot someone else in the crotch. Could they be saved?"

"Why did I gladly accept this invitation from my brother?" China asked tiredly, gliding into the kitchen. She looked absolutely perfectly already. I hate how that's possible for her.

"Because you'd have to stay with your brother then," Tanith said.

China nodded. "I suppose I'll make do with all of Mr. Renn's noises," she said. And for a moment, no one understood the joke. I mean, China is always serious and barely jokes about anything. She's sarcastic, but not funny like that. But a few moments later, Tanith and I burst out laughing. Ghastly joined next, then Skulduggery. Fletcher just pouted and stared at his pathetic burnt waffle.

"That was harsh, China," he said dejectedly and jutted out his lower lip.

"I apologize, Mr. Renn," China said as she went to making toast. Tanith was still giggling, as was I. Tanith leaned up against me as I hopped onto the counter next to her.

"What's with all the ruckus?" Uncle Gordon asked as he floated into the room unexpectedly.

"Gordon! You've stopped sulking!" I shouted.

He pursed his shimmering lips and folded his arms. "For the time being, niece. Don't think I haven't forgiven you for stuffing me in a bag and having those airport men toss me around like I was a sack of potatoes."

"It's sort of not my fault," I muttered. "And besides, you kept insisted that you come, and I wasn't going to bring you on in my tiny little carry-on bag thing, and also, you said it wouldn't be as much of a risk if I put you in the other bag. Talk about touchy, uncle."

"I am not touchy," he huffed, "I am merely concerned with your treatment of me." I scowled and opened my mouth to say something, but Skulduggery's cell phone began ringing. How did I know it his? Because I set it to the most obnoxious tone I could find a little bit ago, and he hasn't figured out how to set it back. He glared at me a moment, then answered the phone.

"Hello? …Yes, we're here. We arrived here late yesterday, and my partner was not cooperating, so we just didn't come at all…I understand, Mr. Bliss. …It is most certainly not my fault! …We'll be there soon. It's at the Catacombs, correct? …Right." He hit the END button and pocketed his phone. "Ready?" he asked with too much cheeriness for someone who just asked, "It's at the Catacombs, correct?"

"What about catacombs?" I asked as I hopped from the table and went to make coffee.

"The French Sanctuary is in the famous Catacombs of Paris," Skulduggery said. "Didn't anyone tell you this? And why are you making coffee? We don't really have time for that."

"No, no one told me that the freaking Sanctuary was in the freaking Catacombs! And also, I have time for it. You don't."

"Which is why we should go…" he added.

I shook my head. "Nope, they won't mind. If the French Sanctuary is so 'chill' about everything, they shouldn't really care. Besides, it's Bliss and Lithium. They won't yell at us too bad."

"Quite the contrary, Valkyrie," Skulduggery said, slightly annoyed. I felt him growing wearier with every word I said, so I eventually made my coffee, sucked it down upstairs as I grabbed my gun, necromancy bracelet, and shoes. I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair back to make it only slightly presentable, then rushed downstairs again. My coat was unbuttoned, but I still had it on. Skulduggery was waiting at the foot of the stairs with his disguise wrapped around his face. He literally pushed me out the door and into the 1960 Thunderbird that Gordon had bought a while ago. I don't what was the obsession with old cars, but apparently everyone wanted one. Skulduggery climbed into the driver's seat and revved the engine.

"Why can't I ever drive?" I asked sadly.

"Because we'd crash," he answered back.

"Hey, I got a license! Don't judge me that one time when I drove your Bentley over the road."

"That was so terrible. My poor baby never recovered," Skulduggery said, like the freaking car actually was his own child. That man is truly obsessed.

"For God's sake," I mumbled, "marry the thing already."

"I may just do so," he said. "Now, Valkyrie, quiet, because as a twenty-five year old lady coming in to Paris, I believe it is the duty of the elder male who is escorting her around to enjoy the sights of Paris."

"The 'elder male'?" I asked.

"Shush," he said and slapped my leg. I jerked it away from him and stared out the window to the "sights of Paris".

I won't describe everything I saw, since that would completely kill my hand, but I'll just say that it was completely beautiful. I fell completely in love with Paris, yet I won't let Skulduggery know it. He drove the car smoothly through the crowded streets, until we reached a big place called the Barrière d'Enfer. There was a huge line of people waiting to go somewhere, and I had a feeling I'd be going there.

"Do we have to wait in that line?" I kind of whined.

Skulduggery laughed and shook his head. "No, we've got some sort of pass, issued from the French Sanctuary. The people at the front issuing tickets and such will allow us in with no problem."

"Are they magical?"

"Indeed they are." Skulduggery cut the engine as he pulled into a space on the road. We stepped out of the old car and made our way to the line. Some people were pretty PO'ed that we'd gotten ahead of them, but there weren't any people yelling or anything. The man at the front of the line with the money and tickets and such nodded once at us, since he most likely knew who we were. How often do you see a skinny, creepy man wandering around with his young assistant? We climbed down the stairs and into the main entrance of the Catacombs.

It was creepy.

The lights were dim and freaking skulls kept jutting out of the walls, like they were going to eat me or something. Skulduggery didn't seem to be fazed by the surroundings, but I sadly realized that he had to look at a skull whenever he passed by a mirror.

"Look," I said, trying to joke around a bit, "it's your Aunt Maxine!" I pointed a skull in the wall and watched him glare at me.

"Not funny in the least, Cain," he grumbled. "Now come on. We have to get away before everyone sees us." He placed a protective hand on my back (YES) and led me to the very back of the tunnels opened to the public. Not many people were back here. He stopped when we reached a wall.

"Just feel around for something?" I asked, already gently touching the wall. He nodded in an answer and began touching as wall. My hands roamed over a skull whose cheek bones had been cracked and worn down, and I quick poked it. It nudged a little bit. I laughed in triumph and grabbed the skull tighter and pulled harder. It came completely lose, revealing a small button behind the skull's recent spot. I pushed it slowly and the wall began to rumble slightly, but that was it.

"What just happened?"

"The wall's transparent now," Skulduggery explained, sticking his hand through the skulls. "We can pass through. The moment we pass through, a spell is cast on everyone who saw us enter and wander around here, so they forget that we were here. It had to be placed once there was a little incident with a Parisian citizen noticing a person had just passed through solid rock. When we step back out however, the spell is removed, only for another spell it be cast, making it seem like we and anyone we come back out with were here all along."

"Quite convenient," I added softly. He chuckled and allowed me to enter first. We both stepped through the wall and were faced with another, actually solid wall. There was a door with a small slot by the handle. Skulduggery put the little card that allowed us entry into the Catacombs into the slot, then removed it quickly. The door swung open, revealing a man in a tuxedo.

"We've been expecting you," he said quietly, allowing us to pass through. "Monsieur Rhett would like to see you in his office. Down the hall and to the left." We thanked him and he shut the door forcefully. He stood with his back to the door, staring as we walked through the Sanctuary.

The place was…dark. There were a few glass windows that had some absolutely beautiful designs on them, and there were a few random suits of armor scattered around the floor. A huge, unlit chandelier hung from the high ceiling. Its crystals dangled, and sparkled as the light from the lanterns hanging from the wall shone on them. The floor was a green marble type thing, with swirls of gold and white in them. The walls were of an equal color, with equal swirls. Skulduggery placed the hand on my back again and we headed down the hallways and took a left. There was a door with golden leaves on the sides. Incredibly beautiful piano music was on the other side.

I knocked and the door instantly swung open and I came face to face with Mr. Bliss. He nodded at us as a greeting, and let us through. Lithium was sitting on a chair, reading a book, obviously relaxed. He looked up at us and smiled. Mr. Bliss pointed to the far end of the room, where a huge grand piano was set up. A man was seated at it, playing the beautiful music.

This man looked to be about my age, but he could really be, like, 100 knowing the crazy age differences the magic world has. He had brown hair, which was neatly cut. His pale blue button down shirt was un-tucked and the sleeves were rolled up to the elbows. He had muscular arms, but not quite like Tanith's. He had a strong build, from what I could see. It wasn't like Ghastly, and he wasn't stringy like Fletcher, but he had enough muscles. He had plain dark blue jeans on and brown sneakers.

He stopped his piano music suddenly and stood up. His warm brown eyes and smile made him really cute. He had pudgy cheeks, and a sharp nose. He had some slight scruff on his chin, but that was it. His skin was darker, but it was hard to tell with this light.

"Bonjour, je suis Alaire Rhett. Je suis le détective tête à ce Sanctuaire. Êtes-vous?(Hello, I am Alaire Rhett. I am the Head Detectice at the Sanctuary. You are?)" he said – in French obviously. He smiled as he looked between Skulduggery and I. "Parlez-vous français?(Do you speak French?)" he said again.

Skulduggery shook his head. "Je fais, mais mon conjoint ne veut pas,(I do, but my partner does not.)" he answered in complete and fluent French. The man nodded in understanding.

"Since when can you speak French? You never told me this!" I shouted at him.

"It never came up, Valkyrie," he answered cockily. I seethed and stomped his foot. He grunted something in French, but stood still.

"I see this will be a fun time for us all, no?" the man asked quietly, mostly to himself. "Well, anyway," he began in perfect English, albeit a strong French accent, "let me try again. I am Alaire Rhett, and I'm the Head Detective here at this Sanctuary. May I ask who you are?"

Skulduggery nodded. "I'm Skulduggery Pleasant, and this is my partner, Valkyrie Cain." I felt the hand still on my back tighten a little.

"Marvelous! Monsieur Bliss began to worry if you two had gotten lost, correct?" He smiled at Mr. Bliss for a moment, then back to us. "I see that you Mademoiselle Cain do not speak Français. True?"

"I don't speak it, no," I answered. "I took a few years of it in school, but it's all gone from my brain. I only remember…'Voulez-vous coucher avec moi s'il vous plaît?(Will you please sleep with me?)' and that was from a perverted friend.

Alaire Rhett burst out laughing, stomping his foot a few times. "A lovely gesture, but perhaps another time, then, Mademoiselle Cain? For now, I believe that Mademoiselle Robin wishes to speak with you. As does Madame Gabs." He smiled again and led us four outside and through a few more doors, until we reached another bigger door. This one had stars on the outside. He knocked on the door and a small voice answered the knock in French.

"Ont-ils arrivés, Monsieur Rhett?(Have they arrived, Mr. Rhett?)" the voice said.

"Oui, tous les quatre d'entre eux sont ici,(Yes, all four of them are here,)" Rhett answered, and he opened the door slowly.

The room was huge. It had pretty much the same design as the main room, but it had an even bigger ceiling. Wires ran around the floor, all hooking up to a giant computer that was attached to a wall. Someone sat in a chair at the computer, furiously typing. Numbers and letters flew by on the screen.

"She gets temperamental when you interrupt her typing," Rhett said quietly to us.

"J'ai entendu ça! Ne croyez pas que je suis sourd à ces choses dans mes oreilles! Mes jambes mai ne fonctionnera pas, mais j'ai encore une audition parfaite! (I heard that! Don't think I'm deaf with these things in my ears! My legs may not work, but I still have perfect hearing!)" the person shouted back. They finished their typing and turned their head to face us. They were female. I watched as her arms and hands went down to the sides of her chair and grip something.

And then I realize d that she was confined to a wheelchair.

She spun her chair around slowly, careful not to get any cords or wires running across the room snagged on her chair. She had dark brown hair that went down to her waist, with a few splotches of blond in it. Her eyes were a light brown, and her cheekbones were high, just like Rhett's.

"Everyone," Rhett suddenly announced, "this is my twin sister, Aya Robin. She's the computer nerd here. And she does speak English," he added, directing it more to me. I nodded once, and then smiled at the woman. She had a slight smile.

"I apologize for my outburst," she grumbled. "Alaire does that to me. Anyway, you are Valkyrie Cain I know, and you are Skulduggery Pleasant. That's Monsieur Bliss and Monsieur Lithium. Pleasure to meet you all." And with that, she turned right back around and began typing again.

Alaire Rhett growled lowly, but ushered us all back outside. "Mademoiselle Robin isn't willing to speak now, which is not much of a surprise. I believe she will be after a few days. She is working on some new security systems for a prized possession, so she's been stressed."

"Prized possession?" Lithium asked, prodding for more.

Rhett nodded. "Ah yes. Follow me," he said and briskly set off. He led us all down another few hallways and down a few flights of stairs, until we reached a large steel door.

"Do not scream," he said in all seriousness. "This is a very top secret project, and we've pretty much discovered that this thing we have is very angry and does not really like people. At all. Be prepared." He laughed quietly for a moment, then turned to open the door.

Suddenly, something clicked in my head.

"Were you playing 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight'?" I asked as he slowly pushed the door open.

Rhett winked and put a finger to his lips. He pushed the door open a bit more, still slow. Finally, after a few moments, he allowed us to step through the door and into a huge gray concrete enforced room.

"Oh my God," I breathed as I watched the beast before me growl and snarl angrily.

One of the gargoyles that had been flying around was sitting just a few yards from me.

It was chained to the wall with three chains. Each sat atop each other. Three more chains chained its hands/arms to the floor, so it couldn't escape. There was a huge muzzle around its mouth, so it couldn't lash out and eat us, I suppose.

"How is this possible?" Mr. Bliss asked quietly.

"Did you hear of how a gargoyle had fallen out of the sky, and then police had taken it away quickly?" Rhett shot back with a question of his own. We all nodded. "Well, we were the police. We had a sniper on the roof of Notre Dame and they shot this beauty with a dart, and he instantly fell from the sky. Our men picked him up instantly and got him here. We have since named him Monsieur Snuggles."

At the sound of his name, the gargoyle snarled something nasty, and then stopped his feet on the ground. The concrete shook, but it didn't give.

"That seems like a rather inappropriate name," I said.

Rhett shrugged. "We liked it, so we stuck with it." He smiled again and quick turned, but suddenly turned back again at the sound of a screech coming from the floor. He groaned and quick ushered us out as quick as he could, but suddenly, a huge explosion of concrete hit us. I felt a few pieces hit my right shoulder, but nothing broke.

Rhett helped me up, and the four of us dashed out, just as some men in dark blue uniforms rushed in there and subdued the creature. When we stopped running, Rhett stepped back and asked if we were hurt. I shook my head, and he quick left me and advanced on a man with a dark uniform who had pretty much appeared next to us. I felt a hand slip under my chin and pull it up. Skulduggery examined the few cuts I had on my neck and cheeks, but nodded, saying that I'd be alright for now.

"Nothing major," he asked quietly.

I shook my head. "No, nothing's bad. Yourself?"

"I think a cracked shin bone, but it's nothing too serious," he replied, patting my shoulder slightly. I winced a little but either he didn't notice, or pretended not to notice. Skulduggery did that almost all the time, and only bugged me about it later.

And yeah. Those were the highlights of my day. It's around three right now, and I'm bored and tired, and a few huge bruises are beginning to form on my shoulder where I got attacked my concrete, but I'll go see if I can find a rock thing to fix me up. But…I'm too lazy to do it now.

After the attack, Rhett had to leave on urgent business, but he said he'd call us all soon and inform us of his Grand Mage's desire to meet us. Yeah, yeah, blah, blah. It was all very boring, and I wasn't focused, since my shoulder began to hurt really bad.

But for now, Diary, I shall leave you. Tomorrow should pose either boring, or really awesome. We'll see.

~Valkyrie.


MY HANDS HURT SO BAD FROM TYPING. ARGH.

But anyways, more was going to happen in this chapter, but it's late, so I'll add more next one.

Thanks for reading and sorry for mistakes! :D