Day 13: Denial
James and I may have a lot of differences but one thing we do have in common is that we were both deeply in denial about being in love with each other before we admitted our feelings to one another.
I had days where I would just sit in my room and keep telling myself, over and over again, that the feelings I had for James would pass but they never did. I should've known that my feelings for him were permanent and would never fade.
Even Carlos and Logan could tell I liked James. They would always call me out about letting my eyes linger a little too long whenever he walked by. They would always notice the trance like state I would get in whenever James sang, or laughed or even talked to me. And everytime they said something, I always denied it.
But when James confronted me about liking him, I was speechless. I stuttered like an idiot and my face was as red as an fresly picked apple. It got even redder when he pulled me into his arms, flush agaisnt him. I became goo in his arms as he looked down at me with those big, beautiful hazel eyes, that had so many emotions running through them; amusement, joy, love, and lastly, fear. All of it sorta just, overwhelmed me, so, I ended up spilling everything to him.
It was all worth it though, even if I was extremely embarassed, to see his eyes filled with tears of happiness and that amazing smile.
After that, we laughed about how stupid we were being and in that moment, I felt so much relief; I didn't have to hide my love for James anymore. I could stop having to lie about who I really was.
And it was the greatest feeling in the world.
