I love you all so much. :)
NEW METHOD ALERT. As I was crapping around with the French here, I remembered a suggestion my sister gave me. So, instead of having the actual French, what is said in French will be bolded. And plus I got too lazy. Doing the switching from the multiple languages got obnoxious. Also, poor Word kept freaking out at the "misspelled" words in French XD But then there a few words that are written in French, but not bolded. Those are the pretty standard French things that pretty much everyone knows. Like "oui," "bonjour," "mademoiselle," etc.
Lythia Harpen asked to me to put her character in here…So I did.
Entry #6 Written June 6th
Dear Diary,
Remember how I was saying that I love the French Sanctuary? Yeah, I'm changed my mind.
ARGH.
Okay. I'm taking deep breaths…And relaxing. I will write what happened today with a slightly steady hand, though my arm still hurts a bit.
So, yesterday ended with Monsieur Rhett calling, saying that he talked to the Grand Mage later after they had cleaned up the…gargoyle's sneeze incident (I don't even know) and that Monsieur Rhett said that the Grand Mage said that they'd see us in two days, so since it's been a day, we'll go see them tomorrow. I'm a little nervous. I know that everyone says that the French Sanctuary is a pushover and everything, but this current Grand Mage picked the spot there the Sanctuary rests now. I figure you've got to be pretty freaking messed up to choose the Catacombs as a place for a magical HQ. Like, seriously? I thought the wax museum was creepy enough, and now we have secret entrances through skulls. Psycho.
Anyways, I woke up in my pajamas (thank God) and laid there for a while. I squinted at the clock and realized it was around noon already, and that I should probably get my lazy butt out of bed. I flipped the covers away and sat up in bed, but immediately fell back down. There was a faint knock at the door, and I groaned, which was the universal signal to go ahead and come on in according to Skulduggery. He flung open the door and went to open the drapes covering the giant windows. He pulled them back, letting the sunlight stream in through the panes and completely burn my retinas.
"Jerk!" I shouted and dived under the covers.
"Oh you'll survive," Skulduggery grumbled and poked my leg under the covers. "Besides, staying in this bed any longer could kill you. Seriously, Fletcher is up before you. That's just crazy. I never thought I'd see the day."
I pulled the covers away just a bit, so I could glare at him. He smiled at me, and then pulled them all the way back. I clung to my pillow, since without the covers, my legs and arms were freezing. I openly admit that I wear "booty shorts" to bed, but it's not like I go out in public and I'm always dressed before a ton of people see them. Same goes with the tank top I wear to bed.
But upon realizing I wear a small tank top to bed, and noticing Skulduggery's insanely confused face, I noticed that the huge purple and blue bruise from the concrete hitting my shoulder was totally visible.
"You said you were fine," he grumbled, sitting down next to me to get a better look. I tried to scramble away, but his really strong arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me into his lap, like I was four. He poked at my shoulder softly, and then kind of…jammed his pointer and middle finger into it.
"Oh for God's sake," I shouted, trying to jerk away. I almost succeeded, but Skulduggery kept me totally grounded.
"It's not broken or anything," he mumbled, "but we should get this fixed up. Does anyone have any of those rock things that cure bruises?"
I shook my head. "I asked around last night, and no one had any. Tanith said she left her huge supply back at England, which is so typical of her." He smiled and poked again at my shoulder.
"Lovely shorts by the way," he said, trying to hold back his obvious laughter.
I groaned and looked down at my shorts. They were decorated with dancing cookies on them and were a dark purple. "Don't make fun of my shorts. I love these things," I said and punched his shoulder. He laughed and set me down gently.
"Get dressed," he said – well commanded really. "I know where we can get you fixed up."
"Does it involve French people?" I mused.
"No, they're Russian."
"Really?"
"No! We're in France, of course they'd be French."
"Hey, excuse me, Prince Skulduggery. Someone's cranky today. Is it your Time of the Month?"
Skulduggery groaned and dashed out of the room, ignoring my insane laughter. I love playing girl jokes on guys. It makes them so uncomfortable, which is just really hilarious. It's especially funny when I do it to Skulduggery, since he sort of seethes and stomps around.
Anyway.
I threw on my protective clothes, and dashed downstairs. I said hi to Gordon as I flew past him. I sucked down my coffee and a (thankfully) not burnt waffle, and brushed my teeth, all while Skulduggery was breathing down my neck. He would not leave my side. Normally, I would be pleased, but since I kept tripping all over him, it got obnoxious. He grabbed his disguise and ushered me into the car again and we took off.
"I'm not dying," I stated quietly.
He shrugged. "Still. It can't hurt, Valkyrie."
"Well it already hurts, since you ever so gently poked me right on the worst spot. Thanks for that, by the way."
"Anytime. Ah," Skulduggery mumbled, "thank goodness we're here."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I shouted as we climbed out of the car. "You wouldn't be sick of me, now would you?"
"Of course not!" he replied, the laughter in his voice. "I don't know what I'd do without you!"
OH GOD ME NEITHER.
"You'd probably just wander around the streets of Ireland, confused as heck," I said instead. I think I'm beginning to develop an alter ego who just creeps on people. That'd be kind of fun…
He laughed and linked arms with me and dragged me to the back door of a small building. It was dark colored, and the door seemed old, and like it could fall off any second. Skulduggery pushed it open lightly, and then stepped inside gracefully. He led me to another door, and knocked quietly. The door opened a few moments, and a woman/girl greeted us.
"How can we help you today?" she asked. She had large blue eyes, dark hair (it was the color of pudding, simply), and a short body.
"Yes, is Doctor Jacques here at the moment?" Skulduggery replied, still in his spontaneous French.
The woman nodded and let us through."The doctor is here, yes. He's not busy. Are you injured?" she said, walking through a small curtain, and returning with a small pack of…purple powder.
"My partner is, yes," Skulduggery replied, gesturing to me. "Do you by any chance speak English?"
The woman nodded. "Only small amounts, oui," she grinned and smiled. "What name you?"
"I'm Skulduggery Pleasant," Skulduggery said (no duh) and then turned to me. "This is my partner, Valkyrie Cain." I smiled slightly.
"Bonjour!" the woman greeted us excitedly. "I am Lythia Harpen, the doctor's assistant. Please to be meeting you." Her accent was incredibly thick, and as you could probably see, Diary, she had pretty bad grammar. But English is pretty much the hardest language ever, so it's okay. "What is wrong with you, Mademoiselle?" she asked me.
I pulled down my coat on my shoulder and showed her the giant bruise forming on my shoulder. "That sums it up," I said.
"My God!" she exclaimed, rushing up to me. She gently poked at me arm, which felt much better than when Skulduggery jammed his fingers in my arm. "What did happen?"
"Concrete attacked me," I said simply.
"Well this can be mended in moments. Do follow moi," she said and gestured for me to follow. Skulduggery stayed behind. Lythia Harpen led me through a small door, into a small lab room. She pointed to a bed and said for me to sit. She disappeared in through another door, and came back eventually, dragging a man with her. He was talking rapidly in French on a cell phone.
This man had tons of thick and full brown hair, which went down to his shoulders in waves. He had big, innocent blue eyes and an innocent face as well. Giant, square framed glasses sat on his nose, magnifying his eyes. He seemed to be around forty, but who knows with the magical ages now. He had khaki pants, a black button down shirt, and white lab coat on. I figure he's the French equivalent of Kenspeckle about now.
"Hold on, old friend, I've got someone who needs my marvelous expertise. I'm sure it's for a good cause. Pardon a moment," he said. He took the phone away from his ear and hit a small button, placing it on the table. "Who is this, Lythia, darling?" he turned to face me, yet I was pretty sure he was directing the question towards Lythia.
"She has a nasty bruise on her shoulder. A quick fix, doctor," Lythia replied, pointing a me. "She doesn't speak French unfortunately."
The man nodded, then picked up his cell phone again, holding a finger out to me, signaling a moment. I nodded once, understanding him.
"Didn't you say that you had some friends that were coming to my old France? I do believe at least one of them is here. She's quite pretty." He paused and listened to the other speaker. "Yes, that's her! Valkyrie Cain you say?" I looked up at the sound of my name. The man was staring at me kind of creepily. "She's here with me in my labs. What about a skeleton?"
"There was a man with her, though he was heavily covered up. Should I get him?" Lythia asked, making her way towards the door.
"Yes, please do," the man said. He pointed to his phone and pointed to me. "Phone," he said simply, in English. I nodded and took is from him.
"Hello?" I asked. I had a feeling I knew this person.
"You've been there, what, two days, and already Skulduggery has you injured!" Kenspeckle Grouse shouted into the phone. "I knew I should have come along. Maybe then we wouldn't be dealing with this."
"I'm kind of alright, Kenspeckle," I grumbled. "It's just a bruise on my shoulder. We had a run in with some concrete, and it attacked me. Nothing major. No broken bones or anything."
"Still, Valkyrie. You're such a danger magnet, I swear," he muttered angrily. "Anyway, I see you've met my friend Dr. Jacques. He's like me, only not as old."
"And less cranky probably," I joked.
"Very funny, Valkyrie. But he's a good man. Doesn't speak much English."
"How can everyone speak French suddenly?" I shouted. "I never knew of these hidden talents!"
He laughed loudly on the other end. "Well, I've never need to speak it around you, have I? But I'm sure Dr. Jacques and you will be fine. He's good at getting his point across, even with those language barriers. And his assistant speaks some English, and Skulduggery speaks French."
"Yeah, we met the Head Detective and Skulduggery started rambling on in French. Nobody ever tells me these things."
"Monsieur!" Lythia said, coming back into the room, with Skulduggery following her. "This is the skeleton Professor Grouse was talking about!"
Skulduggery was carrying his disguise in his hands. He nodded to Doctor Jacques and the doctor nodded back.
"This is your partner, Valkyrie?" he asked. "Professor Grouse told me about you. I assume he told you about me?"
Skulduggery nodded. "He did. He said he'd know we would need you, and turns out he was right."
"I hear Skulduggery!" Kenspeckle shouted into the phone. "Let me yell at him!"
"No," I muttered and quick shut the phone.
Doctor Jacques laughed and pointed at the phone. "I think I like her already. Now…" He paused and tapped his chin in thought. "Be what problem, Mademoiselle?"
I cocked my head, but figured out what he meant. I pulled my shirt down, revealing the giant bruise on my shoulder. I pointed to it. He nodded and grinned, and quick rushed over to the opposite wall. He reached under a cabinet and pulled out a bottle and a small cloth.
"No hurt," he said softly as he dabbed the cloth at my shoulder. The liquid in the bottle smelled sweet, like brown sugar. Actually…It smelled like chocolate chip cookies. I don't know about you, Diary, but I think that stuff deserves to be praised. "Oui, new!" Doctor Jacques said excitedly. He discarded the cloth and closed the bottle, putting it in the cabinet again. I looked at my shoulder and noticed the bruise already beginning to go away. It stung only slightly, but not even to get a reaction from me.
Doctor Jacques smiled at me and poked at my shoulder a few times, making sure I was healed enough, I assume.
"Thank goodness you're a touchy feely person, Valkyrie," Skulduggery sighed.
I stuck my tongue out. "Thank goodness these people are nicer than you," I shot back.
"That hurt."
"Yes, I'm beginning to like these two," Doctor Jacques muttered to his assistant.
She giggled quietly. "I sense that the Tower would be good for them."
"Excuse me," Skulduggery said, interrupting them, "but what tower are you talking about?"
Doctor Jacques shrugged and laughed. "It's nothing to be concerned about. But Mademoiselle Valkyrie is fixed, and I am pleased." He bowed his head at me. "I do hope you'll be back to visit, yet under better and more pleasant circumstances. I hear Professor Grouse has a tough time with the two of you and your injuries."
Skulduggery shrugged and went to stand next to me. "He doesn't think I take good enough care of her. She's naturally in the best health."
"We'll see when you two come in next time with a broken neck. Of course, I'll fix you happily." He waved and reached for his phone and dialed something. Lythia was already out of the door and waving for us to follow.
"I do wish for more visit!" she said happily. "Not many come in now."
"Why is that?" I asked as I adjusted my coat. Everyone kept pulling at it, so it got all messed up. Thanks guys.
"The Sanctuary thinks they have their own medicine. But Doctor Jacques has the best," Lythia said. "I do not think they have idea what they're doing."
"We could talk to them for you," I offered.
Lythia shook her head sympathetically. "No need, Mademoiselle. I do not see how those would listen to small assistant and doctor. They believe everything is fine."
So. At this point, the situation had turned really awkward. Like when someone is complaining about how they're fat or ugly, and you don't really know what to say or do. This is like that.
"Well," Skulduggery muttered, slightly dragging out the word, unsure of what to say as well, "if there's anything we could do, I suppose…"
Lythia shook her head. "Nothing, nothing, Monsieur. Believe that was enough, merci." We both nodded and said goodbye. I took the lead out of the building and stood by Gordon's old car.
"I miss the Bentley," I muttered.
Skulduggery nodded sympathetically. "I do too," he said, placing a hand on my newly healed shoulder.
"You do know I was joking, right?" I asked.
"Yes, and I wasn't," he replied, climbing into the car and starting the engine.
"Freak."
And this is when Skulduggery started rambling in French. He was just talking to himself for about five minutes, before he finally stopped. I don't know what he was talking about, nor do I want to know. It's Skulduggery, and what comes out of his mouth in different languages other than English I'm just going to ignore.
After driving in silence for a few more minutes, my cell phone began to ring. I dug it from my pocket and answered.
"Hello?"
"Bonjour, Mademoiselle!" Alaire Rhett said on the other end. "Is everything going well for you? I hope that our Monsieur Snuggles hasn't caused too many injuries."
"Yeah, I'm fine. I guess I can't expect much less from a giant, hostile gargoyle, but who am I to judge?"
Monsieur Rhett laughed. "Oui, Monsieur Snuggles is still being broken in. Maybe soon he'll become the Sanctuary's pet, oui. But, I have some bad news."
"Oh really? We've gotten some pretty bad news ourselves over the years. We can handle it."
Monsieur Rhett laughed again. "Fantastic. Then you can handle the fact that two very burly men have just appeared and are attacking our Sanctuary. Think you can be here soon?"
"We're on it," I said quickly, and hung up. "We have bad news."
"So I heard," Skulduggery said, already speeding up. "The Sanctuary, I assume?"
"You assume correctly," I said. Skulduggery nodded and sped the old car up, weaving in and out of other cars on the roads.
We arrived at the Catacombs entrance quickly. Skulduggery whipped out the passes and showed them to the people at the front, who nodded and let us in. We raced to the back of the death-trap and I yanked the skull from the wall. Mr. Bliss was standing by the first door.
"Hurry," he said simply, and began towards the actual Sanctuary. "Has Monsieur Rhett filled you in?"
I nodded. "Me, not him," I said and pointed to Skulduggery. Mr. Bliss nodded and sped up his already incredibly fast pace and led us through doors in hallways that seemed to stretch on for forever. There was a great crash and boom that erupted from down below the floor.
"That would be the intruders," Monsieur Rhett said, as he suddenly picked up the pace and began following us. I have no idea how he got there.
"They sound nasty," Skulduggery mused.
"They're not very nice, yes. Two guys are down there, trying to steal Monsieur Snuggles. I just talked to Madame Gabs, who thinks they must be the people or someone working for someone who is controlling them."
"Logical," Mr. Bliss said gruffly. He frowned as he came a halt at a door. There was a symbol glowing brightly in the center. It was a small rectangle, with a giant circle on the outside. They were vibrating and giving off a violent green color.
"If only China were here," Skulduggery muttered. Mr. Bliss was staring intently at the symbol; Monsieur Rhett had a small phone and was shouting to someone in French; Skulduggery was unraveling his disguise and tapping his foot lightly, which meant he was thinking. (Again, don't look at me like that Diary.)
I stared at the symbol as well, because I knew it looked familiar. I racked my brain for where I had seen it before. I seemed to associate it with Wreath, which is just a bit weird.
And suddenly, it clicked in my head.
"Move please," I said to the three men and stood in front of the door.
"Don't touch it! You'll be killed!" Mr. Bliss shouting, but I ignored him. This was something that Wreath had taught me when he was training me for my necromancy. He said that I could counteract some symbols by using my shadows as a glove on my hands in a way. It could only be specific symbols, like the ones that could heal wounds, create barriers, or ones that create light. This was a symbol that created a barrier.
I took a deep breath and felt my shadows curl around my arms and hands. They crawled up me and tickled my skin. I released the breath and reached out to touch the symbol, and I heard Mr. Bliss shout something. Skulduggery shouted something at him, and I felt a bony hand on my newly healed shoulder. I shook it off and concentrated on the symbol.
"Break my concentration," I muttered, "and I die. Get off." The hand recoiled and I devoted my energy to the door. My left pointer finger traced the outside of the circle, while my right finger traced the small rectangle. The black seeped into the light and they instantly devoured the pulsing light. I backed away from the door and kicked it open.
"Merveilleux!" Monsieur Rhett exclaimed. He smiled at me as he bolted past, knocking down a few of his own people in his way. Mr. Bliss followed after him, continuing to knock down more people. Skulduggery ushered me forward. I raced into the room and carefully avoided the poor people who had been previously mowed down. Both of us raced down the hall that Mr. Bliss and Monsieur Rhett had just disappeared into.
"I'd advise you not to go in there," a voice suddenly said in French. I stopped in my tracks and stared at the ceiling. There was a camera and a speaker hooked up in the center. "Yes, I'm addressing you two," the voice said again.
"You sound vaguely familiar," Skulduggery announced to the ceiling. "Did we meet you?"
"Yes, Aya Robin, remember? Monsieur Rhett's sister. Pleasure to meet again. But I don't think going in there would be a good idea," Aya said. I knew she sounded familiar, and hearing her say her own name jogged my memory.
"Why can't we?" I asked, remembering that she can speak English.
"Because you'd most likely get beaten up," she replied from the ceiling. It sort of felt like I was talking to some god or something.
I shrugged. "We can handle it," I said.
"That may be true," she muttered, "but also, the door is locked. My special security. I'm the tech nerd here, and I design all security, communications, weapons, and gadgets, etc. that we the French Sanctuary use. Which reminds me, I need to get you a security system and authorize the patches…" She trailed off and I heard typing on a keyboard. She loudly winced as the whole building shook with the force of…something. The door jiggled violently, and I thought it would give, but it stayed together.
"He better be fine," I heard her murmur. "Anyway, don't go in. The door is shut tight, and Monsieur Rhett doesn't want his new guests getting eaten and/or killed and/or wounded. I wouldn't want to explain that to the Irish guys. They're mean."
I shrugged, not really going to counter argue with her. She was right. The Irish Sanctuary is made of a bunch of dicks…
The building shook violently and I stumbled, but Skulduggery swept around and steadied me. A few seconds passed before another shake, and we both held on to each other. The door burst open suddenly, and the two men were thrust out. Something – or someone – was attacking them, though I couldn't see it. Both men were thrown back on their backsides, and Mr. Bliss charged through. He aimed his fist well and landed a lovely, bone-crunching punch on one man's nose. The invisible force thing hoisted another man up and had him pinned against the wall.
"Now you may attack," I heard Aya say from above. I nodded and grinned in triumph. Skulduggery took to fighting with Bliss, while I ran to the man against the wall. I released a thin trail of my shadows and pinned the man against the wall. He grunted and shouted in French. It sounded pretty mean, so I tightened the darkness around his arms and legs. He screamed something terrible and…exploded.
Seriously.
The man had pretty much turned into a shower of sand. Thank God it wasn't actual human bits raining down on me. Though I'm still finding sand stuck on my various body parts about seven hours after this all happened.
Someone shouted something in French, and that sounded pretty bad as well. Skulduggery hoisted the man he and Bliss had been attacking and said something to him in French. The man spat something back, then exploded as well.
Well, nothing can be weirder than this. (I so just jinxed it, didn't I?)
"Damn," Monsieur Rhett said from beside me.
I screamed. "How'd you get there?!"
"Magic," he whispered and shimmered out of view. I felt two hands poke me in my sides, and I screamed and kicked behind me. Monsieur Rhett appeared back into regular view, and he scowled and rubbing his shin. "I can turn invisible, Mademoiselle, if you couldn't tell by now," he said, all annoyance gone.
"That's quite handy," I admitted.
"I got to spy on so many girls in the locker room," he mused aloud and smirked.
"Alaire!" Aya shouted from the ceiling. "That's a terrible thing to do. Why not use your powers for good?"
"Excuse me, but I just snuck into the room and incapacitated one of those guys!" he shouted back. "Touchy, touchy, Mademoiselle Robin."
"Shush up, Monsieur Rhett," Aya replied. "Did my systems make it?" she asked.
Monsieur Rhett shrugged. "A few cameras and chips were damaged, but you're little team could get it fixed soon," he replied. "Nothing to worry about. How did the system fare for Monsieur Snuggles?"
"He's fine," she reported. "Though he seems a little nervous and jumpy after the whole building almost falling on our heads thing. A few days of solitary confinement should be fine for him. I figured he only likes to be disturbed if he has food, so if that's all we go in there for, no more accidents like yesterday should happen." She paused and the speaker was muffled and scratching sound was heard. "Madame Gabs wants to speak with you," she said.
"Monsieur Rhett," a new voice said. "Mademoiselle Robin did a systems sweep and found no major damages. That's fine and dandy, but I want my rooms and hallways cleaned and checked as well. We have entrances all around here, and entrances can be used as exits. Get full squads to protect the gargoyle, for if he gets into the wrong hands, it'll be my head, and I quite like my head. Are we clear?"
Monsieur Rhett bowed. "Crystal, Madame Gabs. Do you wish to survey the damage here? If not, we can have everything cleaned up in a few hours, though no guarantees it will be completely spotless. There's been an accident with the intruders."
"Accident?"
"Yes, they both blew up into tons of sand. I swear I'm not lying, because our Irish guests are covered in it, the same with I."
"Get them cleaned up. Or else somehow get rid of them quickly, and do not let them traipse through the halls, leaving trails of sand around. That is all."
Monsieur Rhett nodded and gestured for us to follow. He shut the door leading into the room, and he pulled a little sphere from his pocket and placed it in his ear. "Aya is that little suck-y thing still down here?"
"It should be," Aya Robin replied from the ear piece. We could hear everything she said. "Check in the walls."
"Yes, I keep things in my walls all the time," Skulduggery muttered. I giggled quietly, then had to cough up sand that had fallen in my mouth.
"This is so gross," I grinned.
"Agreed," he said back, shaking his head of the grains. I recoiled as half of the sand bits got on me.
"Jerk!"
"Aya says she wants to know when you two will stop flirting," Monsieur Rhett suddenly said. I looked at Skulduggery, who scowled, and then translated what he had just said to me.
"For God's sake!" I shouted. "I find nothing wrong with having a male friend."
"Agreed!" Skulduggery responded.
Monsieur Rhett shrugged. "I'm just the messenger."
And I'm ending the day here. Nothing else fun happened. Monsieur Rhett cleaned us up a bit, we went home, and I took, like, fourteen showers (and I'm still finding sand one me). Tanith asked me if I wanted to go swim in the lake, but all I did was just stick my legs in. I wasn't really all they energetic after the infiltration.
And thinking about what Aya/Monsieur Rhett said, I realize I haven't had any time to really work on my getting Skulduggery Pleasant thing. We've been in France for only a few days and already I've forgotten the important things in life. Well, staying alive is slightly more important, but still.
And I keep wondering who in the world this Madame Gabs person is. I assume it's the Grand Mage, but when they came on over Aya's speaker, they sounded a little…childish. I'm not sure, but it was just a little weird.
Anyway, I really hope nothing is going to happen for a few days so that I can work on getting Skulduggery.
Yeah, I probably shouldn't have written that. Now I know that something terrible or big is going to happen. Oh, woe is me and all those who surround me who are trapped in the endless spider web of nasty deeds.
Dang, I'm awesome.
~Valkyrie
Lordies, this is insanely long. Apologies for that. But I didn't have to stay up super late to finish it!
I hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading! Sorry for mistakes! :D
