Day 14: Wind
I sat in the deserted graveyard, crushed, alone, sobbing my eyes out harder than I ever had before; even harder than when I first heard of James' death.
I was away with my family in Minnesota for a family reunion last week, one I was reluctant to go to without James, my boyfriend, love of my life, my everything. I tried to convince her but she had set her foot down. She had her mind set on just Knights going. I told her if that was all it took that, that I'll just ask James to marry me, but with both knew I wasn't ready for that yet.
If only I had been more persistent . . . maybe he'd still be here.
No, he would still be here. I know he would.
Everyone knows I blame myself for James' death, it being caused by hit & run while we were still in Minnesota. He was crossing the street to go pick up some groceries for the apartment when a car drove past a red light going 70 miles per hour and just collided right into him. It killed him on impact.
James' burial just took place about an hour ago and I was distraught through the whole ceremony. I broke completely once they started to lower his casket into the ground. I cried and pleaded for everything to be a nightmare that I would soon wake up from, but nothing worked. Carlos and Logan had to hold me back from jumping into the ground with him.
And here I am now, crying to my heart's content. If I could just get a sign from him, telling me to live on and be happy, I think I'd be able to, knowing that's what James wants me to do. . . I've never been one to tell him no anyway.
As I sit next to his head stone, the light breeze starts to pick up, making some of the fallen autumn leaves past by me, dancing in the wind like ballerinas, seeming to have more life than I do.
All of a sudden, the wind starts to circulate more and more in the air, almost like a tornado of sorts, but it's gentle as well. A strange sense of warmth flows threw me as the wind begins to just flow around me, hugging my body with an almost human sense to it.
Right then and there, I knew my wish was answered. This was too loving and kind to be nothing. It was him, telling me exactly what I needed to hear without words being spoken. It was him saying everything was going to be alright and that he would always be there with me, even if I couldn't see him.
