WOAH.
50-SOME REVIEWS ALREADY.
WOOOOAH.
:D
I LOOOVE YOU.
AND OH MY GOD. I just read a nice, juicy preview for Dark Days!! I'M SO PUMPED FOR THIS BOOK. I can tell that it's going to be terribly horrific, but in the good and gory sense. (And if anyone has read it, and can tell me otherwise, keep it to yourselves because I REFUSE to be further spoiled for it.)
Anywho…
Entry #7: Written June 9th
Dear Diary,
Again, I have decided that I really don't like the French Sanctuary. Monsieur Rhett's cool and all, but I really hate their Grand Mage.
She's a jerk.
NO. JOKE.
So, Diary, remember how I had said that we would be officially meeting her on the 7th? That had been changed, and moved to today, because of the weird Sand People incident. (Weren't there Sand People in a Star Wars movie? I remember Anakin going all psycho and killing them all. Didn't they kidnap his mom or something?)
Today started out regular and normal enough. I woke up at a slightly more reasonable time, stumbled around looking for clothes, showered, drank three cups of coffee, and then "got to work," as Skulduggery and Gordon referred to it.
Pause.
A piece of sand just fell down onto the pages of you, Diary.
How the heck is it still there?
Unpause.
The work that needed to be done was repairing the backyard, I guess is the way to say it. It had fallen into disrepair after a while, and it needed to be fixed back up again. Tanith had said she'd help me, but Tanith's flaky like that, and had gone out earlier with Ghastly. (~Ooh la la~) So, I was left to do it all alone. Sad face - D:
And, being the summer and everything, France can get reasonably warm (usually around 70-something) and today was especially hot. I'm pretty sure it was somewhere around 85. I enjoy the summer, but when it's too hot, I get cranky. But thank goodness I had packed my super short-shorts and my super tight tank top.
Are you able to see where this is going, Diary? Did you figure out that while I was outside in my tiny clothes, that a certain skeleton meandered out, and then promptly had a testosterone attack?
DID YOU?
Yeah, well, that's exactly what happened (if you couldn't tell).
HA AND IT SUCKED.
Normally, it would be kind of hilarious to see Skulduggery all awkward and unsure of what to do, since he's always pretty confident in what he's doing. But really, it was really awkward for both of us.
I was out in the slightly better looking part, just kind of sweeping around the dead leaves and flowers (happy sight, right?) and that's when Skulduggery waltzed up. I recall being behind a bench at the time, checking for dead animals (Gordon seems to attract dead things, doesn't he?) when I stood up and came face to face with Skulduggery.
"Still working, I see," he said, a hint of smugness in his voice. When it is not there, though?
I threw a dead leaf at him. "Shush up," I grumbled and stepped around to the side of the bench he was standing by. I could tell when he straightened (this is like when he saw The Notebook and the sex scene there ((Yes, he and I have seen The Notebook)) and he freaked out) and I saw his head tilt towards my legs. Though he didn't have any eyeballs, I could tell he was staring me up and down. I would have been happy and kind of excited he had noticed me like that, but then he just stuttered and sort of mumbled a few French things.
"You okay there?" I asked, feeling more and more awkward.
"Um…Uh, um, yeah, just fine. Anyway" – he reached to scratch his skull – "Gordon wanted me to come out here and help. He made the excuse" – Skulduggery awkwardly cleared his throat – "that he can't pick anything up, which I suppose is a good enough excuse. Also Monsieur Rhett texted you." He handed me my cell phone and I quick scrolled through the text.
It read: "Grand Mage wants 2 meet u 2day. Free?"
I. HATE. CHAT. SPEAK.
I flipped my phone open to get the nice keyboard side and began furiously typing. Skulduggery mumbled something in French again, either about my texting skills, or about my lack of clothing. I sent a text back to Monsieur Rhett, saying: "We'd need time to get ready. Maybe in a few hours."
I closed my phone, stuffed in it my pocket, then looked up at Skulduggery. He had grabbed the broom I had been using and was lazily pushing the twigs and leaves that littered the stone walkway from side to side.
"He said that the Grand Mage wanted to meet us today, so I replied that we'd need a few hours," I said. "He also said it in chat-speak, and I don't know how a grown man can live with himself when he uses the number 2 for the word to. I hate that."
Skulduggery chuckled and looked at me, level-headed as can be. Good to see he had regained himself. (And alright, I admit that this situation wasn't as awkward, but still. It was weird.)
Anyway, he said, "I've heard their Grand Mage is super secretive. There had been a time when she would hide her face from everyone."
"It's a she?" I replied, reaching to pick up a dead flower from the path and putting it on the bench. "We haven't had many female Grand Mages, have we?"
"No," Skulduggery agreed, "but there are a few in the world. Hungary, Japan, Russia, and Monaco are a few countries that have female Grand Mages. It's normally a male dominated field."
I nodded. "Darn those precedents. Darn those males from keeping women from doing anything."
"True," Skulduggery smirked. "If this was 1920 you'd be in a huge dress, cooking dinner for your eight children most likely."
"Ha! Eight kids. Don't make me laugh, Pleasant."
"I bet they'd all be named after me," Skulduggery mused. "The girls are…Skullesa, and the boys are obviously Skulduggery."
"Skullesa is probably the dumbest name I've ever heart in my entire life. Besides, who's the father?"
"I think the father would be Monsieur Rhett," he answered. I scoffed and took the broom from his hands and whacked his shin with it.
He frowned and put his hand to his forehead (or something like that) and swooned. "You wound me so, Valkyrie," he moaned. I laughed and grabbed his free arm and yanked him into a hug.
"Want me to kiss it and make it all better?" I said, pouring the sweetness into my voice as much as I could.
He chuckled once and pulled me closer into the hug. "You smell like leaves," he mumbled.
"Uh…Thanks?" I grinned and poked his skull after pulling back.
"Well they're good smelling leaves."
"Well I was worried they'd be crappy smelling leaves."
"Well don't be worried, since they aren't."
"Oh fantastic."
"Do you guys ever stop flirting!?" Tanith shouted from the back door of the house. She still had her leathers on, and her hair was pulled up, and her helmet was in her hand. She and Ghastly had obviously gotten back. "I swear, it's like you're different people!"
"It's the French air!" Ghastly shouted from the window from his and Tanith's room. "It does that to you!"
"Shut up!" I shouted at them. Tanith laughed and twirled her helmet, but shut the back door and disappeared into the house. Ghastly smirked and shut the window and drew the curtains.
Jerks.
"Way to go, guys," I mumbled and untangled myself from Skulduggery and kept sweeping the path. He had disappeared a little later. And so, after this slightly romantic interlude, I cleaned up a bit more, went inside, showered, and threw on my protective clothes. Monsieur Rhett had texted back, saying: "sounds good. Wat time."
I growled, but texted back: "2:00 is good."
Monsieur Rhett replied: "k. C U."
OH MY GOD. I WILL MURDER HIM.
I lurked around the house, looking for Skulduggery. I saw China, and asked if she had seen where he went.
"I think he and Ghastly went out by the lake," China said. "In fact, I think everyone went out. Tanith asked me if I wanted to go, but I said no."
"And probably stuck her tongue out at you, right?" I asked cheekily.
China nodded. "I don't think she can get anymore immature."
I smiled and waved, and then went out to join everyone. Since it was still insanely hot, I stripped off my protective coat and lugged it around.
"Valkyrie!" Fletcher called out. I turned and saw him sitting in a tree. "I heard about your romantic adventures!" I scowled, and using my necromancy bracelet, I shot a black shadow up at him, coiling it around his waist and lifting him from the tree, and then dropped him on the ground.
"Meanie," he grumbled and got up, dusting his ridiculous hair (yeah, it hadn't really changed since I first met him) off from the dirt. "But I heard that you and Skulduggery had to head down to the Sanctuary soon to meet their weirdo Grand Mage, right?"
I nodded. "Yeah, Monsieur Rhett kept texting me, bugging me about it."
"Monsieur Rhett?" Fletcher asked, and I realized that we really hadn't been keeping everyone up to date on the happy French Sanctuary family. I quick gave Fletcher a run down on everyone we had met, and the crazy Sand People, and Monsieur Snuggles the Gargoyle. As I was telling him this, we walked throughout the garden, to get to the lake.
"I want to meet this Aya Robin," Fletcher mused. Of course, he would go for the cranky techie woman, and not care about the freaking gargoyle or the Sand People that had attacked everyone.
"I don't think she'd be interested in you."
"Who said I'd want to date her?" he asked, feigning hurt. "Maybe I'd want to be just friends. We could be like Yin and Yang."
"Yeah okay, after she'd beat you up," I replied, punching his shoulder lightly. He stuck his tongue out.
"I thought Fletcher had fallen out of the tree!" Tanith grinned as she saw us coming closer to the lake. She was standing knee-deep in the water, but she was wearing shorts. Ghastly sat in a chair by the edge of the water, allowing the water to soak the hems of his pants and get his shoes wet. Skulduggery was sitting up in a tree, leaning against a branch, and he seemed to be meditating.
"Technically he did," I said, stepping into the water after rolling up my pants and kicking off my boots, "but I sort of pushed him out. "
Tanith laughed. "Such a loving girl," she grinned. I growled playfully any tossed a handful of water at her. She laughed loudly and threw the water right back. I sent my shadows sprawling out, and they knocked her over, completely submerging her. She shrieked as she went down, her head disappearing beneath the water. I felt a hand grope my ankle, and soon, I was underneath as well. I bobbed back up and sat in the water for a minute. Tanith stood next to me, still dripping wet. She was glaring at me, but the small smile on her face betrayed her anger.
"I love you, Tanith," I grinned and stood up, dripping wet. Both of our clothes were plastered to our bodies, and it was quite uncomfortable. Fletcher wolf-whistled from his seat on the grass, and Ghastly and Skulduggery seemed to avoid looking at the two of us at all costs.
"Dry us off?" I called to them as Tanith and I waded up the edge. I had lost most of my Elemental powers after the necromancy switch, but I could still throw a mean fireball. When neither of them responded, we both shook our hair and showered the guys with water. Skulduggery growled and glared at me, but he still chuckled a bit.
Ghastly laughed and looked us up and down. "I need to make waterproof clothes soon," he mumbled and snapped his palm in the air. I felt the water that had clung to my body pull away, and saw it gathering in a little orb by me. Tanith giggled at it, poking the little sphere of liquid. Ghastly had deemed us sufficiently dry, then let the orbs drop to the ground, getting Fletcher wet this time. He shouted, but immediately shut up when Skulduggery dried him.
"What time is it?" I asked.
Fletcher shrugged, and dived for my protective coat, retrieving my phone and mashing a few buttons for it to light up. "It's…1:13," he announced.
I nodded. "Skulduggery, you and I are heading over to the Sanctuary at two. The Grand Mage thing is still on." He nodded and opened his mouth to say something, but my phone rang again, signaling a text. I looked at the sender and it was Monsieur Rhett.
He had said: "Grand Mage wants 2 meat u & friends. Bring em alon."
Okay, it should be "meet" and it's "along."
ARGH.
Still, I texted back, after asking everyone what they thought. I was answered with very loud yes's from Fletcher and Tanith, and Ghastly merely nodded. Skulduggery said China could hop up at any time and go out. I said: "Everyone agrees. We'll start out now."
He replied: "goood since Grand Mage doesnt like 2 b kept wating."
I shut my phone and put it in my pocket. "Who's ready for some Catacombs?" I asked cheerfully. Skulduggery laughed and led the way back to the house. I asked Gordon if he wanted to come just for kicks, and he said yes, so I stuffed him in my pocket (reading that aloud sounds really weird). As Skulduggery had said, China agreed and was instantly ready. Skulduggery made sure he had his disguise all set, and then we all set out in the silver Honda Pilot Gordon bought. We all made Fletcher cram in the back, which we all just found hilarious, minus him.
But when we reached the entrance to the Catacombs, there was no line.
"What's up today?" Tanith asked.
"It's closed on Thursdays," Skulduggery answered. (Since when was it Thursday?) "But these guys have protective shields, like the one underground," he said, directing it at me. Once we get within three feet of the entrance, we'll all disappear from sight, but anyone who saw us will not remember that we had gone into the Catacombs."
"Man, that's so much better than pretending to be a wax figure," Fletcher muttered. We all clambered out of the car and China led us confidently to the entrance. Skulduggery whipped out a pass and held it over the stairs leading down to the Catacombs, and then we could walk down.
"There was a motion sensor there, I guess?" Tanith asked.
Skulduggery nodded. "The French value their privacy quite a lot."
I led everyone to the very back of the Catacombs, found the skull that held the button behind it, mashed it in, then casually stepped through the wall. Fletcher and Tanith seemed a little shaken at the site of all the skulls and freaking passing through a wall, but Ghastly assured them it was safe. Skulduggery put the pass to the door and it instantly swung open, revealing the giant beefy guy from before.
"You are all the Irish guests?" he asked.
"Yes," China answered in French (of course she had to speak it too). "We are all here to see the Grand Mage."
"Proceed to Monsieur Rhett's office. He will lead you to Mademoiselle Robin's room, and the Grand Mage will be there."
We all nodded, though Ghastly, Fletcher, Tanith, nor I understood what they were saying. Skulduggery took the lead this time and we all went through the winding halls of the underground Sanctuary, until we found the same door leading to Monsieur Rhett's office. Tanith knocked quietly, and Monsieur Rhett (I assume) told us to come in, though it was in French. We all filed in, and he was sitting at his desk, typing furiously on a laptop. His sister was beside him, scowling at her own laptop in her…well, lap. The set of twins looked up at us at the same time, only Monsieur Rhett smiled, while Aya scowled a little.
"Bonjour!" Monsieur Rhett greeted us. "This is your whole posse, I assume?" he asked, gesturing to the newcomers. I pointed everyone out to everyone else. Monsieur Rhett shook everyone's hand, and only lingered on China's hand for a moment, obviously transfixed with her beauty. Big surprise, right?
"China," Skulduggery groaned irritably, and she laughed once, but nodded and smiled sweetly. Monsieur Rhett shook his head out of his daze, and smiled back.
"Lovely meeting everyone," he said grandly. "This is my twin sister, Aya Robin, the techie at our marvelous Sanctuary. She's not the nicest of people."
"Oui," Aya answered, agreeing to the insult her brother just said.
"You do know he just insulted you, right?" Fletcher asked. He was eager to get this Yin-Yang thing going on, I suppose.
Aya shrugged and looked up from her laptop screen. She had an earpiece in her ear, and there was a small black rectangle by her left eye. "We're twins," she replied, "what can you expect?"
Fletcher nodded from side to side, weighing the options. "I think I already like you, Aya."
"Correction," she said flatly, glaring at her laptop screen, "you will call me Mademoiselle or Miss Robin. If I decide I like you, you can call me Aya. Until then, I'll punch you in the face."
Fletcher shuddered and stepped back. "All of you Sanctuary girls are the same!" he groaned dramatically. "You always aim me right below the belt, and I don't think fathering any children is an option for me at this moment."
I laughed quietly and kissed Fletcher on the cheek (UM WHUT). "Sorry, Fletcher, we're just violent people by nature. We don't do it just to you."
"Here," Aya chimed in, "example." She moved her laptop onto a table nearby and rolled herself over to Skulduggery. She slapped his leg and he recoiled and glared.
"Mother of God what was that for?" he shouted, rubbing his thigh bone. Aya smirked and rolled back to her spot by the desk, picked up the laptop, poked the little thing on her face, then kept typing again.
"Violent, violent, violent people," Monsieur Rhett muttered, rolling his eyes in that loving way people do. "Anyway, everyone, if you could all follow me, we need to keep a schedule, since the Grand Mage needs to keep her own."
We all nodded, and everyone filed out the door, with Monsieur Rhett pushing Aya reluctantly. She was still typing at her laptop. We were all led to a different room, and not Aya's techie room. Monsieur Rhett stopped at a huge door (picture Godzilla walking comfortably through this thing) and he all turned to us.
"A few things about our Grand Mage," he mumbled, "is that she doesn't like to be stared at. There's nothing wrong with her face, but she just doesn't like it when people stare. She also doesn't like when people use that tone that's used for 'dumb people,' as she calls it. She can be temperamental, but if you get to know her, and get on her good side, she'll warm up to you, and vice versa. So, having said that, Aya, if you could."
Aya stopped her typing and knocked on the door. Someone shouted something in French, and Aya opened the door and Monsieur Rhett let her wheel herself in.
"That giant guy at the front door said we should go to Aya's techie room," I said to Monsieur Rhett.
He shrugged. "Misinformation, I suppose. The Grand Mage tends to move a lot without people knowing. It's her nature. Ladies first," he said suddenly, gesturing me to go into the giant room. I went and stood beside Skulduggery, and Monsieur Rhett stood on my other side.
"Madame Gabs, we have visitors," Monsieur Rhett said slowly. "They're eager to meet you from all the weird things they've heard about you."
"I'm glad those Irishmen are gossiping about me behind my back," the Grand Mage grumbled from her seat. And actually, her back was facing us. She was sitting in a giant leather chair, and she was facing a huge painting of some dead people/skeletons wandering around. Skulduggery seemed to avoid looking at it. The painting was coated with bright colors, and regular humans were dressed in Victorian clothes seated at a large dining table, eating and drinking and laughing and being merry.
There were two seats at the heads of the table empty. To the right of each of these empty seats were two women. One looked happy and was laughing with everyone else, while the other woman was staring at her gold plate, avoiding everyone's gaze. Beside each of these women were two skeletons. One naked skeleton beside the happy woman was equally happy, and his arms were raised, and he was holding a wine glass. He jaw was opened, and he seemed happy. The other naked skeleton was crouched by the sad woman, his hand over hers, and his other hand on her shoulder. The colors were all blended together, and I could see two little pictures on a table near the dining table, with two smiling Victorian-era men. One man was with the happy woman, and his smile was forced, and his eyes cold. The other man was with the sad woman, and he seemed genuinely happy to be with her. Two more naked skeletons were looking at the pictures, with what I would call disgust.
This painting = major symbolism.
"Do you like the painting?" the Grand Mage said suddenly. "I can tell you're all staring at it."
I shrugged at Tanith, Ghastly, and Fletcher, then looked at Monsieur Rhett, who nodded. "A few of our friends don't understand French, Grand Mage," he said calmly.
"Ah, well I'm sorry for that," she replied, still not turning to face us. "I was asking if you all liked the painting. It's usually the thing that draws everyone's attention."
"It's slightly creepy," Tanith muttered happily.
"It's the point," Aya said, still typing.
"How's the new technology coming, Mademoiselle Robin? Have you found any bugs in it? We can't release it until it's completely fixed."
"I'm aware, Madame Gabs," Aya responded. "I promise you that I'm almost done. I just need a little bit more time."
"Take all the time you need, Mademoiselle Robin," Madame Gabs (?) answered, finally swiveling around in her chair. I think everyone (minus Aya, and Monsieur Rhett) all tilted their heads at the same time and to the left.
This wasn't an adult. This was a teenager.
Her hair was short, like a crew-cut, and a very light blond. It spiked around her head, and it was cut in a choppy way, framing teal eyes beneath giant glasses. She had cherubic lips, and they were a light pink color. She had a tight fitting scarlet coat on. She stood up, and I saw black pants, with light gray boots with fringe hanging off of them.
"Did you, Monsieur Rhett, explain the staring situation?" she asked to Monsieur Rhett, who nodded once, though I'm not sure at what. "In that case, stop staring," she growled and stomped her foot. "I understand. It's not normal to have a fourteen year old Grand Mage! Don't think I haven't been told!" she ranted. "I've dealt with mutinies, but Mademoiselle Robin has used her technology to subdue them all, and they've all pledged their alliance back to me, but that doesn't mean that they won't do it again. A man word can't be trusted. There's not a soul out there who thinks me being here isn't ridiculous! Though they may respect me" – she shot a look at Monsieur Rhett and Aya – "but they still think it's bizarre to take orders from a hormonal teenager. Think what you want, everyone, but double cross me, and I double cross you."
The silence was almost unbearable. But Skulduggery, being ever the subtle gentlemen, asked what was on our minds: "How did you become the Grand Mage?"
"My father was the Grand Mage before me," she replied coldly. "He was murdered, and in his will it said that his occupation was passed to me, since he knew I'd do well with it. For three years I've been the boss here."
Skulduggery nodded. "And so, who painted that?" Wow, I don't believe I've seen a more abrupt subject change in all my life.
"What?" the Grand Mage asked.
"Who painted that?" Skulduggery asked, pointing to the skeletal painting.
"His name was Elliot Blanc, and he lived from 1896-1950. Not very well known, which is why I managed to obtain this without much of a hassle. Why do you care?"
Skulduggery shrugged. "No reason, Madame Gabs. Just curious. Valkyrie doesn't the right collarbone look a little off on that happy skeleton over there? I've been happy before, and never has my collarbone done that."
Madame Gabs gasped, but regained herself a moment later. "You're the skeleton detective, non? Remove your disguise, for you don't need to hide down here."
"I was not hiding," Skulduggery said as he unraveled his scarf, "but I had merely forgotten to take it off. You know, this grand Sanctuary was far too breathtaking."
Madame Gabs frowned. "You are Valkyrie Cain," she said at me, "Fletcher Renn, Ghastly Bespoke, Tanith Low, and of course, China Sorrows." She gave a polite nod to each of us, but she clearly was not a touchy-feely person.
After this meeting, she explained her history in little details, being as smug as possible. Was I ever this bad a teenager? I didn't think so. This girl was mean, and spiteful, and was like a mini-female Fletcher. She kept playing with her hair, and it got so obnoxious.
But now, Diary, I must leave you. We're all going out to the lake for a real swim, and a water fight, so we'll see who gets murdered first.
~Valkyrie
Argh. No comment.
Thanks for reading, and apologies for any mistakes.
