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Sorry.

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Entry #12: Written July 6th

Dear Diary,

Guess where I've been for the past few weeks!

Just guess.

I'm sure you won't guess.

(For the record, I haven't forgotten about you. I haven't just not written for the past two weeks. See the difference between the previous entry and now?)

Have you gotten a guess yet, Diary?

Well, actually, you shouldn't really be guessing anything, because then I'd have to get my head checked out (but I may do that no matter what).

But in all seriousness, Diary, I have been stuck in a dirty and moldy cell with only Fletcher for company.

He and I were stolen away by the Nottinghams – who will make an appearance, finally – and they've been keeping us locked up tight and chained to a wall.

Yep.

Ain't that swell?

So, in order to catalog my adventure with the Nottingham family, I'll split the entries up. I'm thinking maybe around four to five entries should be enough to tell what happened to me.

I'll go ahead and draw a line to signal that the day is changing, alright, Diary?


June 23rd

I woke up, which wasn't a great surprise. What was a surprise was that Tanith was sitting in the armchair that Skulduggery usually was in. She was being creepy and weird and sharpening her sword.

"Hey there, Tanith," I said slowly as I was sitting up. "What might you be doing in here?"

"I want to know how your date went!" she screamed. I groaned and kicked the covers away. Tanith abandoned her sword and bounced next to me, shaking my shoulders and asking a jillion questions a minute.

"Don't get your panties in a twist!" I shouted and smacked her shoulder. Tanith grinned like a toddler and sat back. "Okay, thank you." So for the next hour or so, I explained every little detail about what happened. Tanith thought the snail eating thing was gross too, so I'm not alone. After that, I got up and showered and headed downstairs. I greeted everyone normally. Ghastly suggested we all go out today, since they haven't really been getting out of the house lately. Everyone agreed and they all piled into the car and Skulduggery drove us down to the heart of the city. We passed the Louvre. I felt guilty. We parked at a pretty little park and everyone got out and just sort of wandered around. Skulduggery and I walked together. We passed by an old woman, a middle-aged man, and a teenager girl all sitting on a bench.

I realize now I should have gone crazy and killed them all RIGHT THERE.

But no, because I'm not psychic. Dang. Where's Finbar when you need him?

Anyway, the teenager dropped the ball she was playing with in the air and it rolled over to me. The old woman got up to fetch the ball.

"Merci," she said graciously with a gleam in her eyes. I nodded slowly, a little creeped out, and turned to walk away. "Do you speak English?" the old woman asked suddenly.

I turned back to her and nodded. "I do. Can I help you with something?"

"Well," she said, "my son over there and his daughter are visiting from Scotland and they wanted to know about a good place to stay. I have work to attend to, so they can't stay with me. Do you have any suggestions?"

Uh.

"Well, I'm Irish, and not from here, so I'm afraid I can't give you any places or ideas. Sorry."

"Oh, I see. Well, thank you though." She thrust out her hand for me to shake, and I took it and shook it. "Lovely meeting you."

I nodded. "…Same." She yanked away and went to rejoin her family. The teenager reclaimed her ball and was tossing it up in the air. It went a little too far up in the air, and her arm reached up and I could have sworn that it grew to catch the ball. Her father beside her gave her a swift slap to the leg. She cringed at the stinging feeling and got up quickly and rushed through the park.

"What did they want?" Skulduggery asked me once I had rejoined them all.

"The old lady wanted a place for her son and granddaughter to stay…or something." I shrugged.

"Did anyone notice the girl's arm stretch up abnormally high?" Ghastly questioned. He was met with a bunch of agreements, and Skulduggery said, "It didn't seem natural; I think they might be magical. Maybe she's an adept and has elasticity powers."

We all nodded at this theory, but when we snuck back to the bench they were at, but they were all gone.

Everyone groaned, but instead of moping about it, we went wandering around more. We mostly stuck to the park, but then when Fletcher got hungry, we of course had to go eat something all French-y. (Ew. Snails.)

Okay, I'm tired right now, so I'm just going to fast forward to that night, at midnight. Everyone was asleep, except Skulduggery. He was talking to Gordon downstairs when all of a sudden there was this beeping noise. He went to investigate and found it coming from my bag in our room. He found it was the little ear piece thing that the Sanctuary gave to us. He poked it and there was a huge sigh coming from the piece.

"Finally!" Aya Robin began. (This all what Skulduggery said happened. Trust his word if you dare.) "Who's answering this?"

"Skulduggery," he replied.

"Marvelous, bonjour, now get everyone up and get them to meet in one place. We've got a lot of trouble going on right now." Skulduggery told me after this, that he immediately crossed the room and shook me awake. I groaned and tried punching him, but he grabbed my arm before I could do anything.

"Aya's calling," he whispered. "There's something happening. Get dressed and help me wake everyone up." He then dashed out of the room and banged on everyone's doors, waking them all up.

We all assembled in the hallway after that. Skulduggery was standing in the middle of our little circle and he mashed the little ear piece and Aya's voice was heard, shouting in French.

"Good, you're back," she said absentmindedly. There were some clicking sounds and then she directed her full attention to us. "Alright. There have been some gargoyle sightings spotted by our Eiffel Tower. There are five of them; they've formed into their pentagon shape, if you never noticed that. Madame Gabs believes there's something major going on there."

"You need us there?" Tanith asked, getting that gleam in her eyes when she knows she gets to fight something.

"We need everyone we can get," Aya replied. "Madame Gabs wants this done with, since we're running out of excuses to make to the general public; this is terrible."

"We'll be there ASAP," Fletcher said and disappeared. We heard footsteps on the floor above, and he returned just a few minutes later. He was carrying an armful of our weapons. Tanith grabbed her sword before anyone's eyes got poked out, and he handed Skulduggery and I are guns.

"Teleporting would just be easier, no?" China asked, looking absolutely perfect for someone who was just woken up fifteen minutes ago. She was dressed in her "battle outfit," as she called it, and it was just some cotton pants and a short sleeved red shirt. Oooh! Watch out for China Sorrow's fashion sense!

But anyway, Fletcher nodded from side to side and directed us all to link hands. I gripped Ghastly's forearm, and I felt cold and slender fingers intertwine with my other hand. I looked at Skulduggery, who gave me this strange look, like he hated having to go and do this. I blinked and suddenly, we were right at the Eiffel Tower's base. Tanith stumbled when Fletcher fell back against her, clutching his head.

"Are you alright?" she asked him repeatedly.

He nodded uneasily. "Yeah, I just don't think I've ever teleported that many people at once before."

All of us wheeled around to find the source of this sudden cackle. There were five Sand Men, all stalking closer up to us, like we were mice and they were cats. One of them stuck out their hand and did that motion thing.

"Mademoiselle Cain!" Monsieur Rhett (yeah, we went back to the formal titles, here) called out. He was standing by the very base of the steel beast, glaring in awe at the gargoyles. "I'm glad you could make it!"

China ushered for us to go and follow him as she took over the Sand Men. We reluctantly left her, and I wasn't sure she'd be alright with these guys. But, pretty much out of nowhere, Madame Gabs and Monsieur Spar came running up to us, shoving past us. They beckoned us forward and kept running. Each of us sprinted after them, and Monsieur Rhett stopped us briefly to let us know what was going on.

"We don't have many ways to get up there to the observation deck," he said, "since the elevators have been disabled, and the stairs don't get us up there, and they take too long."

"We got this," I answered, swinging an arm around his and Madame Gabs's neck. I concentrated and all my shadows engulfed the three of us quickly, and we appeared right on the deck. Poor Fletcher appeared beside us with Tanith, Ghastly, Skulduggery, and Monsieur Spar.

"Madame!" Monsieur Spar shouted to Madame Gabs. "Are you alright? She took you without warning; I couldn't stop her."

She waved her hand in dismiss, but was suddenly knocked forward by something. We all turned to see the teenage girl from the park. Her incredibly long arm retracted to its normal size and she placed it by her side.

"I was right!" Skulduggery said excitedly. "Elasticity!"

The girl kept her lips straight and her eyes hard. "Congrats," she said dryly, sticking her arms out and grabbed Tanith's leg and swinging her upside down. There was suddenly a loud crashing noise and footsteps clunking on the metal platform. The teenager's father stepped around the corner, and we all gasped.

His arms were made of thick, dirty, rusty chains.

He raised his arms and smashed them onto the metal, causing a small vibration to rip through the tower and shook us all. Suddenly, four arrows came whizzing into view from practically nowhere. Everyone was able to dodge just in time, but Ghastly got slightly nicked by one. After that, the nice old lady that asked me those questions appeared next to the chain man.

"I knew you would be the ones we wanted," she started out. "My granddaughter's little ball gave off our signal."

"How creative."

"Thanks."

"What did the signal do?" Tanith groaned. She was being held by the girl.

"It alerted us that you lot had had contact with our beautiful gargoyles. Anyone who associates with them must be killed."

"Are you the Nottingham family?" Monsieur Rhett demanded just cutting the witty banter crap and getting straight to the point.

The man nodded and spoke in a deep voice. "We indeed are. I am Gautier, my daughter is Colette, and my mother is Neva."

"So you're actually all related?" I asked, remembering what Neva had said in the park earlier today. They all nodded.

"So," Neva said, throwing her hand in the air and conjuring a bow and arrow, "let's get started."

Wow. Murderous grandmas and psychotic teenagers. Awesome.

Immediately, Sand Men appeared in front of us. They were all huge and bulky and had fists made of freaking iron, I swear. Everyone instantly gave a rush to them all. Tanith had broken free from Colette's grip and was trying to slice her with her sword, but Colette kept dodging and slinking around Tanith with her ability.

We all fought for a while after that. Everyone was screaming and shouting as they all got wounded. Skulduggery was (I believe) insulting everyone in French, while Monsieur Rhett had taken up Latin and was just screeching phrases. There were punches and kicks and I think I got hit with a few friendly fires before suddenly, we all stopped. Neva had taken to shooting the metal walls with arrows that were covered in flames.

"Everyone, QUIET!" Neva shouted. We immediately all shut up (surprisingly) and glared at her and her family. "Merci," she said. "Fighting and shouting in various languages will get us nowhere. Just plain fighting, however, will."

We all paused, but Tanith was the first to understand, and she went lunging at Sand Man #4 with her sword. They began fighting over towards the other side of the observation deck thing. Fletcher and Ghastly had taken on Sand Man #6, who by the way was absolutely gigantic in height. (See my avoidance at a TWSS joke?) Monsieur Rhett and Madame Gabs had taken on Colette, who seemed to be kicking both of their butts. Monsieur Spar took on Gautier. They both seemed about equal matched in strength, though Monsieur Spar had more tricks up his sleeves.

So, this left Skulduggery and I with Neva. We both took a cautionary step back, and suddenly, her hand shot up in the air. Her ~magical bow and arrow~ appeared in her hand, and she shot a regular looking arrow into the metal grate keeping people from jumping off the tower (HA ARGH), yet, the grate exploded. It left a hole where she took a leap up into it. For a grandma, she was really fit. Skulduggery boosted himself up, and I climbed up my shadows to get to the top. Neva was shouting up at her pet gargoyles in a strange language. Skulduggery took the opportunity to play dirty and give her a kick in the back of the knees.

Her legs buckled and she went toppling over. But she tucked into a ball and rolled back onto her feet, shooting a few arrows at us. They kept magically appearing, which was awesome and still really bad at the same time. Skulduggery conjured a fireball in his hands and launched it at her. I gave a shove with my arms and sent a few sharp shadows out to her, but she somehow dodged everything. Skulduggery sidestepped to avoid an arrow, but he cried in pain when one lodged itself in his ribcage.

I grimaced and created a wall of darkness in front of him to prevent any of the arrows Neva had just shot. She growled and whirled on me, taking quick and skilled aim at my face. I ducked away, and ended up taking a backwards step.

Bad move on my part.

Now, Diary, you may not know this, but the metal grate on the deck is sort of rounded at the top, so when I got closer and closer, my footing kept getting worse and worse. My step back began tipping me over a bit, and I took an instinctive step back again. FAIL.

"Valkyrie!" Skulduggery shouted dramatically, gripping an arrow that had stuck itself in his right thigh bone. He thrust his hands out, and I felt a powerful breeze push me back up onto safer ground, but something sharp and painful pierced my left hand. I looked down and an arrow was stuck halfway through my hand. Two more arrows shot through my leg and one grazed my right torso. I cried in pain and took another step backwards. A hand suddenly gripped my coat and pulled me up slightly. It was Neva, and she looked terribly nasty.

"I'm going to push you off this tower," she said simply.

I frowned. "That's a little dramatic, don't you think? I don't think that's entirely necessary."

She threw head back and laughed noisily. "Getting rid of you would make things so much easier on my family and I," she whispered.

"Well, I hate your family and you, so I'd rather not die. I'm sure if I did, my friends would make your life a living hell. They WILL kill you."

"Valkyrie!" Fletcher screamed.

"Val!" Tanith roared.

"Valkyrie!!" Monsieur Rhett yelled. "Stay there!"

"I'm not going anywhere," I mumbled and craned my neck to see Madame Gabs, Monsieur Spar, Monsieur Rhett, Fletcher, Ghastly, and Tanith all staring up at me. A few of them were covered in sand. Colette and Gautier were laying unconscious, leaning against the wall.

"Well, you'll be falling to the ground beneath at 9.8 meters per second, if you count that as going somewhere."

I growled and felt the grip on my coat loosen ever so slightly.

"If any of you come near me," Neva directed to everyone around us, "I'll drop her in an instant. Remain where you are if you want her to live, but I'm not guaranteeing it. I really don't like her."

"Wow, that's nice," Fletcher said cynically. I giggled quietly. Neva's grasp loosened. I began to internally panic.

But suddenly, one of the gargoyles gave a terrible screech. Neva turned and said something quietly, then turned back to me.

"Seems you'll be spared for a bit," she grumbled lowly so no one could hear. "But we don't know how long."

She seemed to notice my eyes widen ever so slightly, because she grinned evilly and clutched my coat tighter once, hoisted me up onto steadier parts of the grate. I think everyone gave a sigh of relief, but I knew that she wasn't going to give up easy.

"Valkyrie!" Skulduggery cried out. He took a step forward, and I shouted at him to stop and not move, but Neva had seen what he had done.

"I said: Don't. Come. Any. Closer!" she screamed annoyingly high. Her hands reached out and gave me a shove. I lurched backward, flailing my arms around, trying to balance, but it was a lost cause.

My foot slipped on the grate.

There were (I counted) seven screams/shouts as I completely lost my footing and tumbling off the monument.

I did a few back flips in the air.

I didn't scream.

My body fanned out, and my hair was flying everywhere. The wind whistled loudly in my ears and burned my face and eyes. I continued to hear shouts from the top of the tower. I also heard a loud whooshing sound closing in on me, but I just kind of ignored it. I vaguely remember stupidly thinking it was, like, the Devil coming after me, but as it turned out, it was not the Devil, but in fact, it was a gargoyle.

Its wings kept flapping, keeping him suspended in the air. He had flown down below me, waiting to catch me obviously. I don't know why they kept me alive, but it works for me. My body hit the scaly, disgusting gargoyle with tons of momentum. I heard something crack, and then, I blacked out.

So yeah, I'll say it: I was pushed off the Eiffel Tower. I was almost crushed. If a penny could kill a person from being dropped to that height, what would happen to a person dropped from there? I'd be a Valcake, and I don't want that.

But are you excited for the next part, Diary? I know I AM. But, my hand hurts, and I'm tired, so you'll find out what happens next, Diary.

~Valkyrie


…Yep. I've had the part where she gets pushed off a building in my mind for a long time, and I'm glad I finally got to get it up there.

And just saying, any similarities between Phoenix Fanatic's "Diary of a Lovesick Mutant" are completely unintentional. There are a few similar aspects in both of these stories, but they were not done on purpose.

Thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes! Once again, thank you all for the kind reviews! :D