Cecilia-
The next few days, Justin and I stayed in the hospital. I checked on him frequently to make sure he was doing better each time. He always smiled and nodded, never saying anything. Ugh, he was feeling sorry for me now. I hated it. I kept telling him that I was fine, but I don't think it got through that skull of his.
I walked into his room while he was eating some soup from the hospital kitchen.
I cleared my throat "Hey Justin. You feeling good?" I smiled, please respond.
He looked up at half-smiled. He nodded and continued to eat his soup. I rolled my eyes and sat by him on the bed.
"What is your problem?" I gave him a look.
He looked at me, confused. He finally spoke "What are you talking about?"
I scoffed "Don't act like i'm stupid, you know exactly what i'm talking about. You're afraid to talk to me cause I have cancer" I hissed when I said cancer.
He raised an eyebrow and shook his head "I am not afraid of you" he bit his lip "I'm afraid for you"
I stood up angrily "I told you, don't be afraid for me! My life is fine! Everything is fine okay?" I wanted to yell, so loudly.
Now he was the one who was angry "Fine? Everything is fine? Stop denying Cecilia. I know you're being optimistic and not letting it get to you. But you can lose your life!" he had tears forming "And I can NOT lose another one in my life. Not now, not ever!" he was hyperventalating.
I stood there, not saying anything. I walked up to him and sat again. I held his hand tightly "What do you mean...another?"
He was now crying, but I didn't judge him. Something was up.
He cleared his throat and fiddled with his fingers, trying to avoid the subject. He sighed "My best friend Ryan..." he closed his eyes tight "He...he got shot...right in front of me" he opened his eyes and the tears kept flowing. He stared down at his hands, remembering the details of that night "His blood in my hands" his lip quivered. He looked at me with blood shot eyes "And if yours is too" he took my face in his hands "I will not live either"
Now tears were flowing from my eyes and I nodded. I kissed him softly and just stroked his face. I shook my head "I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry" I kept repeating and he shut me up by locking his lips with mine. We held each other in the bed until I had to leave for some other tests. Damn, I hate this. Why doesn't the cancer just kill itself. Then my life wouldn't be this way, and I wouldn't have to worry about dying every 5 seconds.
Justin-
After that day, we were finally out of the hospital. I had to use crutches because my spine cracked a little. That's the last time I think twice about using the light for the crosswalk. Cecilia helped me out the whole time through, from the hospital to my room. She's never really been in my house, let alone my room before. She roamed around with her green eyes, observing how I lived.
She nodded her head until she saw the bulletin board of herself. She gasped softly and walked over to my desk. She stared at the pictures of herself. She turned to me, and I was smiling up at her.
"You like em?" I asked.
She nods and turns around again. She places her fingertips on the photographs, still in awe.
"Wow, I didn't know I was so...pretty" she giggled and she turned "Or you're just the best photographer" she winked.
I shook my head laughing "Nah, you're beautiful baby" I smiled with my teeth.
She walked over to me and stroked her hands through my hair. She leaned in and kissed my lips with force. I held her face with one of my hands, and squeezed her waist with the other. My fingers slowly crept up her top, and she didn't pull away. Her hands were on my chest and she gave me hot kisses. I broke away and just planted kisses all over her sweet light neck.
She sighed in pleasure and we both stopped. She got off me and pulled down her shirt that was half-up. She pushed some hair to the back of her ear.
"Uhm...well I...I better" and she just quickly stepped out the door. I should've never done that. I yelled after "Cecilia wait!" but I guess she was gone.
She came back running and kissed me on the lips one more time "I'll be back later Bieber" she smiled and left. I sighed in relief and just layed down. I looked up at the ceiling, and just smiled happily to myself.
Cecilia-
Holy, shit. We almost like...made love or something! Okay, not that far. But we were slowly getting there. Why did I want more? His kisses were so sweet on my neck, and I just wanted to rip his clothes off. Breathe Ceci, breathe. It was just one of those hot moments. Oh who am I kidding! That was so amazing and dangerous and just ahh! Who knew I would be into this. I always told myself I would never do that, since I'd be dead anyway.
But now I just want it like any other. Maybe Justin wanted it too. I mean, his hands were all over me, that doesn't mean he doesn't want it. I skipped back to my house and saw my mom on the phone. Oh my parents. Well, turns out, my dad was getting another job in another town. That's why he got dressed up and was in a hurry. My mom didn't like it cause she said she didn't wanna move.
No way was I moving either! But he said we weren't. He just had to sleep at a hotel most of the time, cause this summer job wasn't near our city.
My mom smiled at me and put her hand over the reciever "Is Justin in his bed safe and sound?" she whispered.
I nodded and smiled "All clear" I giggled and ran up to my room. I grabbed my diary and opened the window. I stared out at Justin window, but he wasn't there. Poor boy, can't get up to see the clear sky. I sighed and started writing.
Day 417
Oh my God! Hot moments are so...hot! Diary you do NOT know the feeling when hands are softly touching your skin and you feel like flying. Oh, it was just amazing. I couldn't wait til he was all better. Maybe we'll get further. I know it's asking too much for a 16 year old, but hey. Every 16 year old wants one thing. Sex. I'm not asking for it like right this second, but I hope to do it before I pass. I wonder how it feels. Probably hotter then that spicy makeout. Chills! I'm getting chills just thinking about it. Sigh. I am one happy Cecilia, yes indeed.
I threw the diary on my bed and just stared out the window. I smiled at the rabbit who popped out from the bushes. Such a nice rabbit. His appearance, not him stealing out garden food. I got up and took out my camera. Maybe I should do that collage like Justin's doing. It'd be fun, I think. Cept that I can't do shit when it comes to phorotgraphy. Maybe i'll just stick to being optimistic.
I sat by the window, just thinking about everything that happened. From the hot moment, to the day Justin and I met. I liked his hair then. I giggled to myself. Oh, this summer was so good. I didn't want it to end. Summer, or life.
Justin-
I got up slowly, still in pain, and I walked over to the window. I saw Ceci already sitting by the window. She looekd beautiful, like always. The breeze slipped through her red hair. I got my camera and tried not to fall off my crutches. I focused the camera and snapped a shot of her looking out to the summer breeze.
My mom walked into the room "What are you doing up mister?" she put her hands on her hips "You're supposed to be resting. It'll make you heal faster" she patted the bedsheets. I sighed "Sorry. I just wanted to add to my collection" I said, pointing to my Ceci collage. She walked over to my pictures and gasped in awe "Oh Justin, that's so cute. She's a beauty, isn't she" she smiled.
I walked over to my bed and slowly sat down. I nodded "More beautiful then the roses" I smiled.
My mom walked over to me and stroked my cheek "I'm glad you met her. You're so much happier with her Justin" she kissed my forehead and walked out of the door. I smiled to myself "Yeah, I know" and I layed down. I closed my eyes and descended into a sweet dream with Cecilia.
Cecilia-
I woke up the next morning, smiling and all. I got out of bed and just readied myself. I trotted down the stairs and sat in the dining room. My mom was making eggs "How'd you sleep baby girl?" she asked.
I yawned "Pretty good. Where's Abby?" I rubbed my eyes. My mom responded "Out with dad. They're getting more milk"
I nodded and just picked up a magazine from the middle of the table. People, hmm, whatever. I flipped through the pages, but nothing seemed to interest me. The only thing on my mind was Justin, Justin, Justin.
Suddenly the doorbell rang. I looked at the door and stood up. I lazily walked over to it and opened it. My jaw dropped. Brian?
He smiled with white teeth "Hey gorgeous, I'm back"
